Pack of Her Own, page 17
I slammed on the brakes. The Jeep squealed to a stop far too close to the sedan in front of me. The red light gave me a moment to catch my breath, pushing those thoughts down and away as far as I could. My gut roiled at the idea of not thinking about her. It still ached with the distance between us, and my wolf prowled deep inside, agitated and wanting.
Ten minutes later, I was pulling up to a pair of wrought-iron gates manned by a single security guard. The second I rolled down the window I picked up the smell of a wolf. Multiple wolves, though there was only one I could see. Dressed in a security guard uniform, he moseyed out of the guardhouse and stepped up to the car.
“Name?” he grunted, giving me a hard look with eyes that almost glowed amber.
“Wren Carne. I’m here to speak with your Alpha.”
He furrowed his brows at me. “One moment.” He stepped aside, pulled out a radio, and spoke into it. A moment later he returned. “All right. Pull up to the main house. Someone will be there to escort you.”
I nodded my thanks as the gates opened. The road was lined with trees that tried too hard to pretend to be a wild forest. It was all a little too perfect, the trees spaced too evenly to be anything more than planned out. There were scars in the ground, like trees had been cut down and stumps removed to make everything look manicured and almost perfect. They lined the road for most of the way before thinning and opening into a large, empty lawn that led up to a picturesque mansion.
I shuddered with the thought of running in those trees. It felt too much like being in a zoo, in a cage. Give me the Canadian wilderness any day.
Two wolves awaited me as I climbed out of the Jeep. Both tall, with stoic looks, and wearing simple shorts and thin shirts. They looked like they were ready to shift at a moment’s notice. I stepped up to them calmly, looking them in the eye and letting them know exactly who—and what—I was. They resisted at first, but after a moment of silence they both looked down and away in submission.
They might not be my wolves, but I was an Alpha, and they knew to show me respect. The shorter of the two, a woman with long dark hair tied into a tight braid pulled from the top of her head, gestured to the door.
“The Alpha will see you now,” she said, “please, follow.”
I nodded and they led the way through the manor. Throughout the house were more wolf guards, dressed like those leading us, positioned all over the place. It was overkill, like Kendra was expecting an attack or something. Did she think I was here for just that? I had no interest in her territory. Hell, apparently, I could barely handle my own.
They led me up to the second floor and down a long hallway that was lined with painted portraits of people. Every single one had a look on their face like they were looking at the viewer like they were nothing but prey. My escorts seemed to shrink under the painted glares.
The double doors at the end of the hall opened as we approached. It was hard not to groan and shake my head at the theatrics. Like I needed to be shown that I was in the presence of a powerful Alpha, one who’d ruled her lands for decades.
If she thought all this would cow me, she had no idea who she was dealing with.
Kendra Harper sat behind a large ornate desk in the middle of the room, large windows at her back as she lounged in her over-stuffed office chair. Her short, graying hair only enhanced the stern look that seemed to fall naturally over her face, and her clean-cut, fitted dress shirt and slacks worked heavily in her favor. But the moment her penetrating gaze roamed over me, she visibly relaxed. She shared a warm smile like we were old friends and was quick to vacate her chair and come around the desk.
“Wren Carne.” Her gravelly voice traveled across the too-big office. “Alpha of Greyland County. To what do I own this pleasure?”
I bowed slightly to give the Alpha her due, as was called for. The guards who’d led me here retreated beyond the office doors, leaving us alone.
“Alpha Harper, I appreciate you being willing to meet with me on such short notice.”
Kendra waved a hand in the air. “Oh, darling, you don’t need to be so formal. We’re neighbors, there’s no reason for us not to have a healthy relationship.”
Sure, that’s why the show of force on the way up here.
She stopped in front of me and offered a hand. I took it, giving a firm shake. “I don’t disagree. Five years is too long between visits.”
She smiled. “Well, I had to meet the wolf who decided to stake a claim on a territory next to mine.” For a second, that smile pulled away from her eyes and the look was cold. Terribly cold. “Though I can’t say you haven’t been a good neighbor.”
Vadi had told me once how Kendra had requested access to Greyland County. She had not been pleased to be rebuked.
Kendra ushered me to a chair in front of her desk. I acquiesced, accepting the seat as she reclaimed her own chair on the other side.
“I needed a new life,” I told her. “And Terabend has given me that.”
“I’m glad to hear it. So, what brings you to me today?”
I hesitated. It was hard to admit my spotty knowledge of my own kind, but I was between a rock and a hard place. Never mind the whole mating thing going on with Natalie, but there was also Heather’s curse that I needed to help her with. She was mine now, and I needed to do whatever I could for her.
I pushed away that thought. As I wondered when I’d claimed Heather as one of my people, I looked up at Kendra’s smiling face, and tried to be selective about what I said.
“I need some help,” I began. “Information, really.”
“On what?”
“On us.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Come again?”
I gripped the side of the chair tightly. “Let’s just say that my education when it comes to my own kind is spotty at best. Even as an Alpha, I find I don’t always know what I am doing, or what I’m able to do.”
I told her about the fight at Callum and Heather’s campfire, when Natalie and I rescued Meg. I tried my best to explain the supernatural wind that I had called up, which had dragged Callum to the borders of my lands as I banished him.
“I heard about some wolves causing trouble in Terabend.” The lack of surprise brought with it the worry that she had something to do with it in the first place. “I also heard that several humans were involved.”
I grimaced. “They were, but it was handled.”
“Yet you truly did not know what you were doing when you banished the wolf?”
I shook my head. “No, and now I’m finding there are things I need to deal with, but I don’t know how.”
She slipped on a sly smile. “Would one of these things be the young person whose scent is all over you?”
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “How do you know about her?”
“My dear, the scent wafts from you as if it were perfume. Does she know just how much you think of her? How much your wolf wants her?”
“I—” I didn’t even know how to answer her. What did I feel for Natalie? I’d known her for all of a week now. How could I be sure this was all real. Was this even possible with a human? It wasn’t done in my old pack, but was there good reason for that? If mating was forever, was that something Natalie wanted? Something we could handle? Would she want to be turned? “No. She doesn’t. And I can’t afford to think about it right now.”
“No? The idea of mates for us wolves is not something to push aside. Believe me,” her eyes flickered to the side briefly, “I know how important it is.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing with her. I really don’t.”
“You feel the girl in your gut?” I nodded. “And you can’t stand to be apart from her for an extended period?” I nodded again. “And are you having the dreams?”
I snapped to attention. “The dreams?” It was her turn to nod. “Yeah, I’ve been having dreams. And so has she.”
She nodded like she knew exactly what she was speaking of. “And where did this wolf come from?”
I shook my head. “She’s human.”
I expected to see a smile bloom across her face, but instead she went completely cold, her emotions shut down and eyes narrowing. That scent in the air was definitely fear.
“You need to talk to her,” she said slowly, her voice as cold as her visage. “And you need to understand the risks of mating with someone like her.”
“Risks? What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “To put something like a mate bond onto a human is nothing short of monstrous. They can’t handle it. The power, the feelings. The magic—”
“Magic?”
She laughed without mirth. “What do you think allows us to do what we do? It’s not exactly within the laws of physics as we understand them.”
“What happens to human mates?”
She shook her head. “It never ends well. Trust me. You cannot have mates from two different worlds. At best they die long before you do because they aren’t as hardy and don’t live as long. Worst case? They get killed because they’re your mate and because someone else decides that they are weak.”
“I’d protect her!” I snarled.
“Of course you would,” she said. Her tone was admonishing but not degrading. “But you can’t be with her every second of every day. I mean, you’re hours away from her right now! You can’t protect her forever and from everything.”
“I’d find a way.”
“Wren, please listen to me. Humans cannot handle this. Most of them can barely survive the mate bite! I assure you, going further with this girl will not end well. You must either turn her or let her go.”
“I…I…” My throat closed up, keeping all the words in.
Kendra took a deep breath, seeming to shake herself out of whatever had come over her. “I speak from experience, my dear. Make a better choice than I did.”
“What do you mean?”
She shook her head. “I fell for a human once. He…was taken from me. I have carried that loss in my heart ever since.”
I tried to imagine what that would be like, to lose Natalie to whatever life might bring. My wolf howled mournfully, and I shook with the anxiety of the idea. I would never let anything happen to her. But what if I wasn’t there?
“I will figure out what’s going on with her on my time,” I said. I wished I felt more confident in that idea than I really was. “But I have something more pressing right now.”
“Do tell.”
As much as I hated telling someone about what Heather had told us in confidence, I needed to know what I could do to fix it. “I have a pack member.” I tried hard not to shudder at the implication of being in charge of someone else’s life. “She was cursed by a witch when she was a child. Her wolf is locked inside her.”
“That’s…” Her face went pale. “That’s terrible, absolutely barbaric. How is she even coping?”
I had to shrug. The strength Heather had was amazing for what she was going through. I couldn’t even imagine it. But I sat and told Kendra everything I could without going into too much detail. Heather had never had a chance to run with her own kind or to howl at the moon. I wanted to give her that. She trusted me to help her.
“She has been told that an Alpha can help break her curse,” I said at last. “And I want to help her. She is one of mine.”
Kendra stood, wandering away from the desk. I kept an eye on her, but she seemed to be lost in thought. Did she even know how to help me? This kind of issue couldn’t come up often. It would mean a war between shifters and witches. The last war between preternatural creatures was several centuries ago, that I knew of. We were all too worried about involving humans in a fight that could mean the end of everything.
She ran her hand along a tall bookshelf, and I stood from my chair to move closer. Most of the shelves were filled with leatherbound books that looked like they hadn’t been touched in decades. Kendra pulled a book out. The dust cloud that followed made her sneeze twice, and I couldn’t stop my smile.
“Here,” she said, holding the book out to me. “Honestly, you should’ve been allowed to study a book like this the moment your Alpha nature surfaced. Any Alpha worth their salt should’ve done better by you.”
“They did what they did. They didn’t offer the information, and I didn’t exactly have a leg to stand on in demanding the knowledge. Not the way I left.”
“Be that as it may, this book will help you. You might even find a solution to your own wolf’s problem.”
“What is the book?”
“An old journal from an Alpha who managed to combine a number of packs into a strong family. They wrote it to help train new Alphas how to lead a pack so that they were the strongest and most put together that they could be.”
I took the book, handling the old leather with care. The damned thing felt like it was going to fall apart in my hands. “Is this it? All I need?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never found myself in your position, my dear.”
We were going to do this. We were going to help Heather. And Natalie was going to be beside me the whole time.
“Thank you, Alpha Harper.” I lowered my head formally, offering her a little more than the standard amount of respect considering our positions. “I truly appreciate your assistance.”
She chuckled. “It’s like I said before, Wren. You are a fantastic neighbor, and I don’t want that to change.”
I turned away, biting my lip. I didn’t talk about the past much, or what I wanted from life, but maybe of anybody, she’d understand.
“I never wanted a pack. Never wanted people to put their lives in my hands. But then people started saying I was an Alpha. They acted like it was set in stone that I would lead a pack.”
“It’s a burden that we all bear, despite what we might wish for otherwise,” she replied sagely, her eyes soft and sad. “Having another to share it with helps. Find your mate—it makes everything else in life worth it.”
“Shit.” I clutched the book to my chest. “I’ll think about it.” I couldn’t bring myself to say what I wanted to say. Yelling at her to stay out of my love life was not the diplomatic way to end this. “Thanks for your help.”
“Anytime, my dear, anytime.”
I was out the door before she finished speaking, ignoring the guards on either side of the door and making my way back through the manor. The book stayed clutched tight against me. I couldn’t wait to get back to Terabend and crack open the journal. I tried to focus on the things that I might be able to learn from it to help Heather, and not on what Kendra had said about Natalie.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake a nagging feeling. Maybe Kendra wasn’t wrong. Maybe Natalie couldn’t be mine.
Both my wolf and I howled in mourning at the mere idea.
Chapter Twenty-six
Natalie
The waiting room was empty when I walked into Dr. Maru’s office. I almost hadn’t come. It was a close call between this and turning the other direction to follow Wren around the lake. It hurt so deep inside to be apart from her, something I’d never felt before. Sure, I missed Misty when she wasn’t around, but it was nothing like this. I felt like I could barely function without Wren.
Not that I could say anything about it to Wren. I was already coming off clingy as it was, breaking down in her arms the other day. She had other things to worry about than me.
Like Heather. I couldn’t imagine what life was like for her, knowing there was something inside her but that she wasn’t able to let it out. I stopped for a moment, realizing what I’d just been thinking. Maybe I knew how she felt better than I thought. When she was talking with us yesterday, I stayed close, hoping my hand on her shoulder gave her some sort of strength and comfort. No one should have to go through life without feeling that from someone else. If Heather was going to be important to Wren, I wanted to help take care of her.
Of course, I wanted to take care of Wren too. I got the sense that she was going to make that difficult. How could I show her that she didn’t have to do everything alone anymore? I could be there. I could help. I wanted to help. I needed to be useful.
“Good morning, Natalie.” Dr. Maru’s voice broke into my thoughts and my head shot up. She was leaning against the wall near the exam rooms, giving me a once-over with eyes hiding once again behind the purple lenses of her glasses. I smiled at her, and she moved forward to offer me a hand. “I’m glad you made it. I wasn’t sure if Wren was going to monopolize your time.”
“She had to head out of town for a few hours.”
“Her loss,” she chuckled, “but I bet it’s getting hard to be away from her, huh?”
I stared at her. “How did you know?”
She sighed. “Come on, we should talk in my office.”
I remembered the way there, but she led me anyway, closing the door behind us as I took a chair in front of her desk. I rubbed my hand hard against my leg, the friction and repetitive movement helping keep my focus on the present.
Dr. Maru took her chair behind the desk, taking off her glasses and setting them aside.
“You two really haven’t talked about any of this, have you?” she asked.
“That’s not true,” I argued, then stopped and thought about it. “I mean, I know she’s a werewolf. And we talked yesterday about her past and what she knew about…about…”
“About being mates?”
My other hand, the one not rubbing my leg, started twitching. “Yes. Mates.” I shook my head a little too vigorously. “I don’t even know what it means, and she doesn’t either! But it’s all I can think about sometimes. That word is worked into my brain, and she wasn’t even the one to say it first! Well, I mean, she was but she really wasn’t. You know?”
