Waves of Guilt, page 28
Laura was the first to pull out of the embrace. ‘Sorry, I’m worried I’ve got snot on your top,’ she said fumbling in her bag for some tissues.
‘Take some of these,’ I said, passing her a box of tissues.
‘The last time I was here was for the dinner party. Little did I know that Joe was sizing up the house and planning to return to kill you.’
‘Laura, don’t torment yourself. How could you know? He seemed nice, and why would you suspect he had planned something so, what’s the word, so fantastical?’
‘I just wish I’d spotted the signs,’ continued Laura.
‘Maybe there weren’t any,’ I replied.
Laura shrugged. She seemed unconvinced by my reassuring words, and I patted her knee to try to comfort her. I decided to keep quiet and allow Laura to speak in her own time.
‘He lied to me about everything, his daughter, his late wife. I mean, he never told me she had breast cancer. He told me she’d been a heavy smoker and got lung cancer and that it had spread to her brain.’ Laura paused. ‘I was so desperate to find someone to love me, that I swallowed it all like an idiot.’
I heard the clink of cups signalling Craig’s approach with the drinks. It was good timing as it gave us a few moments break from discussing the aftermath of Joe’s campaign of retribution.
‘Oh, thanks,’ said Laura as Craig put a mug down in front of her. ‘I’m glad you are here to look after Sarah.’
Craig smiled. ‘Sarah is quite a good patient. I don’t have to tell her off too much,’ he said.
We sipped our tea, comfortable in each other’s company.
‘Laura, you weren’t to know how devious he was being. He’d obviously planned what he was going to do for a while. His grief ate away at him, and it drove him to do what he did,’ I said.
‘But what if he’d killed you too? I would have been responsible for that.’
‘No, you wouldn’t. Anyway, I’m here. You can’t get rid of me that easily.’
‘I’m so happy for you two,’ Laura said suddenly, looking over at Craig and then back at me. ‘I hope you stay together. I mean, after Sarah is better, I hope you will stay as a couple.’
Craig rubbed his hand over his cropped hair, clearly embarrassed at Laura’s directness. ‘Thank you. It’s nice of you to wish us well,’ he replied.
‘When are you going back to work?’ I asked.
‘Oh, next Monday. I’m keen to get back to a routine. I think it will help.’
‘Yes, I agree, and when I’m feeling a bit better, I’ll come and have lunch in Sandwich with you.’
I noticed Laura glance up at the bookcase, where David’s photograph had sat in the same place for a few years.
‘I’ve moved it to another room,’ I said.
‘Oh, I wasn’t....,’ said Laura.
‘It’s OK. I’ll never forget David, but it’s time to move on.’
Our conversation was naturally stilted after recent events, but there was no harm in silence, and it was pointless trying to fill every gap with inane chatter.
‘Bella phoned me,’ said Laura. ‘I wish I’d met her before.....,’ she paused. ‘I think we could have been friends.’
‘You still can be friends. It’s not her fault what her father did,’ I added. ‘You could contact her from time to time.’
Laura didn’t reply, and I didn’t press the matter. She was going through too much pain to consider making any commitments or forging new relationships.
‘The police have been busy examining Joe’s laptop. I still can’t get my head around it. He was so devious.’
I nodded. It was good that Laura was able to speak freely, and hopefully, it would help her come to terms with the tragic situation.
‘Not only that, but he also tried to break up our friendship,’ continued Laura. ‘I’d never lie to you, Sarah.’
‘I know. I shouldn’t have doubted you,’ I replied.
‘One lie after another, that was our relationship. No wonder he wanted to stop me from meeting Bella.’
‘Did you ever go to his house?’ asked Craig.
‘A couple of times. Bella must have been away or at a friend’s house. I never saw the other rooms upstairs. The doors were closed, and I didn’t like to nosey. He told me one still had some of his wife’s clothes in it.’
I thought back to the way I’d shifted David’s clothes into the spare room, which had caused me to discover the memory stick. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
‘I wish Joe had survived so he could have been brought to trial and jailed,’ said Laura. ‘He got off too easy for the crimes he committed.’
Laura fixed her gaze on her cup as she spoke. I glanced over at Craig, raising my eyebrows, and he silently acknowledged my feelings by shrugging his shoulders slightly.
We sat in silence, contemplating Laura’s statement. Joe had been hell-bent on avenging his wife’s death and had felt that his suffering gave him the right to claim other lives. I could imagine how painful it would have been for David when Joe had revealed his true identity. Being face to face with one of Excelor’s victims would have been a huge shock. Although Joe had denied persuading David to take his own life, it seemed likely he had engendered a feeling of worthlessness. That together with David’s guilt which he’d harboured for years would have been too much for him.
Laura shook her head.
‘What’s the matter?’ I asked.
‘Oh, I was just thinking about how this all stemmed from someone’s stupid decision at work all those years ago. Look at what havoc he wreaked. It’s tragic.’
It was hard to disagree with Laura. On the whole life at QexChem had been good, but we had all been victims of dishonesty, which had caused unimaginable repercussions. Hopefully, in the future, there wouldn’t be similar incidents, although only time would show whether my hopes would be fulfilled or unfounded.
Epilogue
A week later
We had been experiencing an energy-sapping heatwave for the past fortnight, and at almost ten in the evening, Craig and I were still sitting outside in the garden. A couple of citronella candles were burning next to us to ward off hungry mosquitoes.
‘You finish the wine,’ I said. ‘I’ve had enough.’
‘So, what time is Katy coming around tomorrow?’ asked Craig.
‘About ten-ish.’
‘Well, I’m afraid you will have to make your own coffee,’ said Craig. ‘I’ve got my meeting in Canterbury, remember.’
‘Oh, no! I’m not used to looking after myself,’ I whined.
Voices from my new neighbour’s garden attracted our attention, and Craig put his fingers to his lips. I strained my ears but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Craig placed his wine glass down carefully and crept over to the fence. He peeped through the knothole in the wood and then shrank back. The voices appeared to be getting nearer, so Craig sat down with his back to the fence, pulling his knees up to his chest.
I wanted to laugh out loud but managed to contain my amusement. After a few minutes, the voices seemed to retreat, but Craig continued the entertainment by crawling back across the lawn “commando-style” towards me.
‘What are you like?’ I whispered. ‘You’ve probably got grass stains on your knees.’
Craig smiled. ‘Ah, funny you should say that, Mrs Needham.’
‘What’s funny about grass stains?’
‘Not stains, but the word grass.’
‘You’ve lost me,’ I replied.
Craig mimed smoking a spliff. ‘I’ve got a pretty good idea what your new neighbours are up to,’ he replied. ‘So you might want to have a chat with Katy about it.’
I stopped smiling. ‘You’re joking! No! I don’t believe it.’
It was my turn to get up and peep through the fence. I wandered back in disbelief.
‘It looks very much like a cannabis farm to me,’ said Craig.
‘Oh, God,’ I murmured. ‘Is this actually happening?’
THE END
Author’s note
Waves of Guilt is entirely a work of fiction. As with my previous novel Relative Error, it is set around my home town of Broadstairs. The stretch of coastline between Ramsgate and Broadstairs is known as Dumpton Gap. Some of the places, street names and businesses are real, but others are fictitious for the benefit of the story. The company QexChem is fictitious as is the drug Excelor, and the events surrounding it. Any resemblance of the characters to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Waves are a large part of my life as I live close to the sea, so I thought this an apt title as the coast features largely in the novel, but also it could describe the feelings which wash over the main character as she strives to rebuild her life after tragic events. She experiences guilt that she didn’t do enough to help her husband in his mental health struggle, and guilt at beginning a new relationship.
I often like to include an element of science in my novels. In Waves of Guilt, individuals within a company are driven by unscrupulous motives. Though the documented manipulation of clinical data is rare, this forms the basis of a revenge plot for my novel.
Once again, thanks to my sister-in-law Deborah for meticulous proofreading, and my friend Mary for reading the novel and her suggestions regarding the plot and characters. As ever, thanks to my husband Jonathan for your love, support and encouragement and our frequent discussions about my fictional world. This story has changed so much and hopefully, for the better, from my initial ideas. Your pragmatic approach is so helpful in spotting any flaws in my stories and keeps me grounded when I succumb to flights of fancy.
Finally, a huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to download my books and to read them.
dawnmarsanne@gmail.com
Follow me on Twitter @dawn_marsanne
About the Author
Having worked in the pharmaceutical industry for almost twenty-five years I wanted to write a novel which explored some of the serious issues in the field. The reproducibility of scientific data is a common problem which has recently been highlighted in the news and this forms the basis of my first book Adverse Reaction. I particularly enjoy reading thrillers and suspense novels and I have tried to create a fast paced story which holds the reader's attention. Many of the themes of the book occur in everyday life and I have used the backdrop of research to illustrate them. There are relatively few novels which are set in the laboratory environment so I saw this as an undeveloped area but at the same time scientific details are kept to a minimum to allow the work to be accessible to readers of a non-technical background. As I finished the novel I became sufficiently interested in the characters I had created to develop them further and the six book Persford Reaction Series was born.
Since then I have written to standalone novels, A Form of Justice and Relative Error.
Waves of Guilt is the first in a new series and is now joined by a sequel, Layers of Deceit. Follow me on twitter @dawn_marsanne
Read more at Dawn Marsanne’s site.
Dawn Marsanne, Waves of Guilt
