Waves of Guilt, page 15
‘Well, I got a few things,’ I replied, wondering if now was the time to reveal my other activity.
‘So, Andy contacted me today, and we got chatting, so I mentioned David’s laptop. I hope that was OK? He’s also offered to take a look at it to see what has been deleted and so on.’
I was still agonising about whether to tell Craig about my chat with DS Forbes.
‘Sarah? Are you still there?’
‘Yes, I’m just thinking about Andy taking a look at David’s laptop.’
‘There’s no pressure. It’s just I thought Andy might be a good option.’
‘Yes, yes, I’m sure he is a good option.’
‘OK, but he did say he’s very busy at the moment. He’s away on a conference at the end of this week, so it might be a while before he can look at it.’
‘It’s fine. There’s no rush.’ Before Craig could reply, I continued, ‘Craig, I’ve got something to tell you.’
‘Sounds intriguing,’ replied Craig.
‘I’m worried you will be annoyed with me though,’ I said before launching into my confession, giving him an abridged version of my discussions with DS Forbes. Craig listened without interrupting me. I ended by saying that I wasn’t holding out too much hope, but felt better for getting some advice. ‘I hope you aren’t cross that I didn’t tell you this morning,’ I said by way of ending my account. ‘It was an impulsive decision when I was driving up to the retail park.’
‘It’s OK, I understand,’ replied Craig. ‘As you said, it’s a long-shot as regards the email, but there’s no harm in running it by them.’
‘It was just a chance meeting with DS Forbes,’ I emphasised.
‘Yes, yes, I understand,’ replied Craig.
‘So we are still friends then?’
‘Of course, we are.’
I sighed with relief.
‘Oh, by the way, Clare is happy with my redraft of that article, so that’s another one completed.’
‘Well done. Has she sent you another assignment?’
‘Not yet. Perhaps next week.’
‘OK, well, I’m sure you will get more work,’ I paused. ‘Craig, there’s something else I wanted to run by you.’
‘Yes, what is it?’
‘How would you feel about it if I asked Laura and Joe over for a meal one evening if you could make it too? It might be nice for us all to get to know each other?’
‘Er, well, yes, if you want to. You don’t feel it’s too soon?’
‘I don’t know. I just thought it would be nice.’
‘On one condition,’ said Craig.
‘What’s that?’
‘You don’t use it to grill him about his daughter.’
‘What do you take me for?’ I replied. I wasn’t sure whether Craig was joking or serious.
‘Just teasing. By all means, go ahead. I’m free every evening. I don’t have a mad social whirl.’
I laughed. ‘That makes two of us. I’ll see what Laura says.’
‘Great.’
We said our goodbyes and I carried on with my mowing. I felt relieved to have spoken to Craig. I needed to trust my instincts and to learn to trust others again. As I walked up and down my lawn, I began to realise that in the last few years, David and I had become more distant as the burden of his mental health weighed him down. I couldn’t help feeling guilty that I’d not been more attentive. At the time, I hadn’t realised how seriously ill he had been, otherwise, perhaps I would have been able to intervene. Whenever he was engrossed in something, it had been a relief that he was occupied and not dwelling on things. However, I now began to wonder whether that same enthusiasm might have been his downfall. Had he been involved in a quest which had ultimately cost him his life?
Chapter 30
It was Saturday, and we were preparing to host Laura and Joe.
‘Anything else I can do?’ asked Craig.
‘Er, yes, would you set the table? Use the newer knives and forks in the drawer there,’ I said. ‘I’ll leave the glasses in here in case people want wine before we eat.’
Craig busied himself with the table, and I carried on preparing a fruit salad to go with a dessert I’d bought.
‘Shit!’ I exclaimed as I knocked a punnet of strawberries off the worktop on to the floor.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Craig returning from the dining room.
‘I’m just so clumsy tonight,’ I replied, gathering up the strawberries. ‘I’m regretting asking Laura and Joe around.’
‘Look, it will be fine. It’s just a few friends getting together. Come here.’
We hugged for a few moments then I pulled away.
‘Sorry. I’m worried about the time. I’ve got to go upstairs and get changed. They are due here in ten minutes.’
‘Let me do those, and you go and get ready,’ said Craig, picking up the strawberry huller. ‘Shoo! Go and calm down.’
‘I should have had a drink to calm my nerves,’ I replied.
‘You can have one soon. Now go away!’
‘Charming,’ I replied jokingly as I went upstairs.
I quickly washed my face and gave myself a liberal squirt of perfume, before putting on some black trousers and a linen shirt. I didn’t normally use hairspray, but my hair looked a bit flat, so it needed a bit of help. I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous. Laura was pleasant, and Craig was quite sociable. Perhaps I was worried about the conversation drifting back to David? Or was I embarrassed that Craig was taking David’s place, and this was a formal statement of our renewed relationship?
The doorbell rang, preventing me from further supposition.
‘I’m coming!’ I called down to Craig as I ran downstairs.
Laura stood on the step, and Joe was paying for the taxi as I opened the door.
‘Hi! Come in!’ I said.
‘Lovely to see you again,’ said Laura, hugging me as we stepped into the hallway. She turned around as Joe walked up the driveway.
‘Hi, I’m Joe. Lovely to meet you. For you,’ he said, offering me some flowers and a bottle of wine.
‘Thank you!’ I replied. ‘Come in and go through to the lounge. Craig..., Laura and Joe.’
There was some embarrassed shuffling about and shaking of hands, and I took jackets and hung them on the newel post. Joe stood back, politely waiting to be invited further into the house. He was wearing chinos, and a red and white short-sleeved checked shirt.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ asked Craig. ‘Wine, lager, gin and tonic?’
We all opted for white wine and took our seats in the lounge. Joe and Laura took the settee facing the patio window, and I sat in one of the armchairs.
‘Your garden looks lovely,’ said Joe. ‘It’s big.’
‘Oh, thank you. It’s growing furiously at the moment. Do you like gardening?’
‘Well, I keep mine tidy, but I’m not an expert on plants.’
‘I get someone in to help when it needs a good cut back,’ I said as Craig entered with the drinks.
‘Cheers!’ we all said, quaffing back the wine. I felt like drinking mine down in one go but realised I’d not eaten for several hours, so I needed to take things easy.
‘So, do you have any 10K runs planned? Craig asked Joe.
‘Er, not until the autumn,’ replied Joe. ‘Do you run?’
‘No, I used to when I was younger. I go to the gym very occasionally.’
‘What about you, Sarah? Fancy taking it up?’ continued Joe.
‘Not for me. I love walking, but I’m too old for jogging.’
‘You’re never too old,’ said Joe. ‘It’s the secret of longevity. Did you see that study the other week which showed that taking up marathon running even in later life can undo all the harm from smoking and an unhealthy lifestyle?’
‘Yes, but I’m afraid I won’t be following the advice,’ I replied. ‘Perhaps I’ll try to swim more often though.’
‘Do you swim in the sea?’ asked Joe.
‘Oh, no, just the pool,’ I replied. ‘I’m not a strong swimmer.’
Joe smiled. ‘I’m the same. I’ve never been keen on swimming in the sea. All that horrible seaweed. Ugh! It’s gross.’
We laughed.
‘So, how’s your new job going?’ Laura asked Craig.
I raised my hand, ‘Sorry to interrupt, but is it OK to eat in about ten minutes?’
Everyone assented.
‘I’ll just go and finish off in the kitchen, then.’
I felt relieved that things were going reasonably well, and I could feel my glass of wine beginning to take effect. Snippets of conversation filtered through from the other room, which was a good sign, and I heard Craig relaying some story which was greeted by laughter.
The salmon was ready, I drained the potatoes, removed salads and dressings from the fridge and uncapped another bottle of wine. Stage two of the evening was about to get underway.
Chapter 31
‘That was a lovely meal, Sarah,’ said Laura.
‘My pleasure. More cheesecake?’
‘I’d love some, but I’m full,’ she replied.
‘I’ll just tidy that bit up,’ said Craig cutting a small slice.
I waited a few moments. ‘Well, if everyone’s finished, I’ll start to clear away,’ I said. ‘Joe? Anything else for you?’ Joe seemed to be lost in another world and was looking across the room at something. I smiled at Laura, who then nudged Joe and asked him the same question.
‘Oh, no thanks. I’ve had enough. It was lovely,’ he said.
‘More wine?’
‘Oh, yes please,’ Joe replied, slightly slurring his words.
‘Why don’t you finish this?’ I said, picking up the bottle.
‘Craig?’ said Joe. ‘Want to share it with me?’
‘If you insist,’ laughed Craig.
‘So, when’s the cocaine arriving?’
I dropped a spoon and fork noisily on to a plate and fumbled with them as I collected them up.
‘Sorry?’ I asked Joe.
‘I’m just being silly. It’s just that I was reading,’ he paused, ‘I was reading an article about dinner parties in London, and you can phone up for someone to deliver cocaine right to your house.’
‘Oh, I see,’ I replied, forcing a smile. I noticed Laura open her mouth to say something, but I shook my head at her.
‘Right, I’ll clear away,’ I said.
‘Let me help you,’ offered Laura.
I sensed she wanted a moment alone with me in the kitchen, so I didn’t protest too much. Laura helped me stack the dishwasher and whispered, ‘So, what do you think of Joe?’
‘He’s very nice. I’m pleased for you.’
‘Thanks. He’s drunk a bit more than he usually does, but I think he’s a bit nervous. Sorry about that remark about cocaine.’
‘That’s OK. I want him to enjoy himself,’ I replied as I busied myself with rinsing the dishes.
‘It’s just that he was offered drugs in a pub in Canterbury recently, and I think it’s affected him,’ Laura said laughing nervously.
‘It’s OK. It was a joke.’ I was tempted to add, ‘A rather poor one,’ but I continued rinsing the dishes.
‘Are you sure you are OK with Joe?’
‘I said, I’m fine, and I’m pleased for you.’
‘Really?’ said Laura. ‘I just wondered whether...., well, if something was bothering you?’
‘No, why?’ I stood up to face Laura.
‘Oh, nothing, you seemed a bit nervous, that’s all.’
I relaxed my shoulders. ‘I’m out of practice at having people around, and with me and Craig....,’ now it was my turn to pause. ‘Well, it’s just strange.’
‘Craig’s great,’ said Laura. ‘You look very happy together.’
‘Thank you,’ I smiled.
Laura gave me a quick hug. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you whether you found out anything else about what we discussed at lunch? I mean about what David was looking into?’
I had been dreading this question all evening. ‘Oh, no, nothing. In fact, I’ve not given it much thought as I’ve been busy,’ I lied.
‘Hmm, well, it’s probably for the best. No point in upsetting yourself,’ she replied.
‘No point in trying to find out what really happened to my husband,’ I felt like replying, but politeness prevented me. ‘Could you go and ask whether people would like tea or coffee, or something stronger?’ I asked Laura.
I quickly put some cling film over the leftovers and stowed them in the fridge. It was now just after 9 p.m., and I was hoping that my guests wouldn’t stay too late. They would need to phone for a taxi, so hopefully would realise it was Saturday night and they would have to give a bit of notice.
‘Coffee for me, please and whisky for the two boys,’ said Laura.
‘OK. Take these mints through, and I’ll be in soon,’ I replied.
I hoped I wasn’t getting a headache as I felt exhausted. I told myself that the evening had been a success and I took a few deep breaths before preparing the tray of drinks.
Upon entering the lounge, I found Joe standing up, looking at the bookshelf. I glanced at Craig, and he returned a knowing glance as if to say, ‘What could I do?’
‘Whisky, Joe,’ I said, somewhat forcefully.
‘Oh, lovely,’ said Joe, taking a sip.
‘Glenlivet. Is that OK?’
‘My favourite. It’s a good job I’m not working tomorrow,’ he said.
‘Me neither!’ laughed Craig. ‘It’s a good thing I don’t have another article to write tomorrow!’
‘I see you are an avid reader,’ said Joe.
‘Yes, I am. What about you?’
‘Oh, I don’t have much time for reading. I’m not retired like you.’
‘Something for you to look forward to,’ I replied, trying to disguise my annoyance.
‘I can’t see me retiring before sixty-five,’ replied Joe.
Before any of us could respond, Joe continued, ‘So, do you miss working at QexChem?’
‘Who’s going to go first?’ I laughed.
‘You first,’ said Craig. ‘You worked there the longest!’
‘I’m not sure how to take that,’ I said. ‘Twenty-five years. Of course, I was very young when I started,’ I joked.
‘It must have been good to feel you were doing something worthwhile?’ said Joe. ‘Research must be fascinating.’
‘It is interesting,’ I replied. ‘But there are a lot of disappointments as well.’
‘Tell me about it,’ said Laura.
‘Did you ever work on anything which became a drug?’ asked Joe.
‘Hardly anyone gets to enjoy that accolade,’ intervened Craig. ‘I only know one person who’s worked on something which has got to market.’
‘You mean Bob,’ I added.
‘Bob Williams?’ asked Laura.
Craig and I nodded.
‘So, did you get close to anything?’ asked Joe.
‘Well, there were projects which went along quite well, but failed later on,’ I said vaguely. ‘It’s all a long time ago now. I’ve tried to forget some of it.’ I was trying to steer the conversation away from life at QexChem. After all, the company had downsized considerably, and it hadn’t been a very pleasant time for a lot of people.
‘I didn’t do very well at science,’ continued Joe. ‘I didn’t even go to university.’
‘But Laura told me you are an Assistant Manager,’ I said. ‘It must be a responsible job.’
‘I guess so. I’ve worked my way up through the ranks, so I suppose that’s something.’
‘Joe, can I mention something?’ said Laura before Joe could answer. ‘I mean about, you know....’
Joe looked a bit embarrassed. ‘Yes, OK.’
‘Joe is in line for Manager. He’s had the interview, and when the current manager in Canterbury moves on, then he’ll officially be promoted!’
‘Wow! That’s really good!’ I said. ‘Congratulations.’
‘Thank you. I’ve been hoping for it for a while, but well, you never know whether it will happen.’
‘Well, if I need a loan, I’ll come to you for a good deal,’ said Craig.
‘I’ll see what I can do!’ winked Joe. ‘However,’ he paused, ‘I might not be so lenient if you go overdrawn!’
‘I’ll remember that,’ laughed Craig. ‘Any plans for tomorrow?’
‘Not really. Just relaxing I think.’
Laura looked at her watch. ‘I think I’d better order a taxi,’ she said, much to my relief. ‘Where’s my bag?’
‘I think it’s in the hall,’ I replied.
‘Do you watch any footie?’ Craig asked Joe.
‘Oh, now and again. I watch the World Cup and the Euro championships.’
As Craig and Joe chatted about sport, I took the cups into the kitchen.
‘The taxi will be here in about fifteen minutes,’ said Laura joining me in the kitchen. ‘You must come to us soon.’
‘Yes, that would be nice,’ I said. ‘And as I said before, I’m very pleased for you. Joe’s lovely.’
‘Thanks, Sarah. I’m not getting carried away, but I’m hopeful that this is going to work out for me.’
I smiled. ‘Shall we go back into the lounge?’ I hoped so too, but I still had the niggling feeling Joe wasn’t being honest about Bella. However, now was hardly the time for a confrontation. For the final fifteen minutes, I let Joe and Craig chat together as they seemed to be getting on well together. We heard a car horn toot which for me was very welcome.
‘Oh, that’s us,’ said Laura.
We all filed out to the front door, and I noticed Joe holding on to the door frame. We said our goodbyes and waved off our guests as the taxi pulled away.
I closed the door and leaned against it. ‘Pour me a whisky. I’m shattered.’
Chapter 32
After our guests had left, we decided to watch a film, but I couldn’t concentrate.
‘Can we go for a walk?’ I suggested.
‘Now? It’s nearly eleven.’
‘So? I need some air, and it’s not cold. What about a walk and then a nightcap when we get back? I won’t sleep unless I get a bit of exercise.’
‘OK,’ said Craig. ‘It’s a good idea. I can walk off that extra piece of cheesecake.’
‘So, Andy contacted me today, and we got chatting, so I mentioned David’s laptop. I hope that was OK? He’s also offered to take a look at it to see what has been deleted and so on.’
I was still agonising about whether to tell Craig about my chat with DS Forbes.
‘Sarah? Are you still there?’
‘Yes, I’m just thinking about Andy taking a look at David’s laptop.’
‘There’s no pressure. It’s just I thought Andy might be a good option.’
‘Yes, yes, I’m sure he is a good option.’
‘OK, but he did say he’s very busy at the moment. He’s away on a conference at the end of this week, so it might be a while before he can look at it.’
‘It’s fine. There’s no rush.’ Before Craig could reply, I continued, ‘Craig, I’ve got something to tell you.’
‘Sounds intriguing,’ replied Craig.
‘I’m worried you will be annoyed with me though,’ I said before launching into my confession, giving him an abridged version of my discussions with DS Forbes. Craig listened without interrupting me. I ended by saying that I wasn’t holding out too much hope, but felt better for getting some advice. ‘I hope you aren’t cross that I didn’t tell you this morning,’ I said by way of ending my account. ‘It was an impulsive decision when I was driving up to the retail park.’
‘It’s OK, I understand,’ replied Craig. ‘As you said, it’s a long-shot as regards the email, but there’s no harm in running it by them.’
‘It was just a chance meeting with DS Forbes,’ I emphasised.
‘Yes, yes, I understand,’ replied Craig.
‘So we are still friends then?’
‘Of course, we are.’
I sighed with relief.
‘Oh, by the way, Clare is happy with my redraft of that article, so that’s another one completed.’
‘Well done. Has she sent you another assignment?’
‘Not yet. Perhaps next week.’
‘OK, well, I’m sure you will get more work,’ I paused. ‘Craig, there’s something else I wanted to run by you.’
‘Yes, what is it?’
‘How would you feel about it if I asked Laura and Joe over for a meal one evening if you could make it too? It might be nice for us all to get to know each other?’
‘Er, well, yes, if you want to. You don’t feel it’s too soon?’
‘I don’t know. I just thought it would be nice.’
‘On one condition,’ said Craig.
‘What’s that?’
‘You don’t use it to grill him about his daughter.’
‘What do you take me for?’ I replied. I wasn’t sure whether Craig was joking or serious.
‘Just teasing. By all means, go ahead. I’m free every evening. I don’t have a mad social whirl.’
I laughed. ‘That makes two of us. I’ll see what Laura says.’
‘Great.’
We said our goodbyes and I carried on with my mowing. I felt relieved to have spoken to Craig. I needed to trust my instincts and to learn to trust others again. As I walked up and down my lawn, I began to realise that in the last few years, David and I had become more distant as the burden of his mental health weighed him down. I couldn’t help feeling guilty that I’d not been more attentive. At the time, I hadn’t realised how seriously ill he had been, otherwise, perhaps I would have been able to intervene. Whenever he was engrossed in something, it had been a relief that he was occupied and not dwelling on things. However, I now began to wonder whether that same enthusiasm might have been his downfall. Had he been involved in a quest which had ultimately cost him his life?
Chapter 30
It was Saturday, and we were preparing to host Laura and Joe.
‘Anything else I can do?’ asked Craig.
‘Er, yes, would you set the table? Use the newer knives and forks in the drawer there,’ I said. ‘I’ll leave the glasses in here in case people want wine before we eat.’
Craig busied himself with the table, and I carried on preparing a fruit salad to go with a dessert I’d bought.
‘Shit!’ I exclaimed as I knocked a punnet of strawberries off the worktop on to the floor.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Craig returning from the dining room.
‘I’m just so clumsy tonight,’ I replied, gathering up the strawberries. ‘I’m regretting asking Laura and Joe around.’
‘Look, it will be fine. It’s just a few friends getting together. Come here.’
We hugged for a few moments then I pulled away.
‘Sorry. I’m worried about the time. I’ve got to go upstairs and get changed. They are due here in ten minutes.’
‘Let me do those, and you go and get ready,’ said Craig, picking up the strawberry huller. ‘Shoo! Go and calm down.’
‘I should have had a drink to calm my nerves,’ I replied.
‘You can have one soon. Now go away!’
‘Charming,’ I replied jokingly as I went upstairs.
I quickly washed my face and gave myself a liberal squirt of perfume, before putting on some black trousers and a linen shirt. I didn’t normally use hairspray, but my hair looked a bit flat, so it needed a bit of help. I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous. Laura was pleasant, and Craig was quite sociable. Perhaps I was worried about the conversation drifting back to David? Or was I embarrassed that Craig was taking David’s place, and this was a formal statement of our renewed relationship?
The doorbell rang, preventing me from further supposition.
‘I’m coming!’ I called down to Craig as I ran downstairs.
Laura stood on the step, and Joe was paying for the taxi as I opened the door.
‘Hi! Come in!’ I said.
‘Lovely to see you again,’ said Laura, hugging me as we stepped into the hallway. She turned around as Joe walked up the driveway.
‘Hi, I’m Joe. Lovely to meet you. For you,’ he said, offering me some flowers and a bottle of wine.
‘Thank you!’ I replied. ‘Come in and go through to the lounge. Craig..., Laura and Joe.’
There was some embarrassed shuffling about and shaking of hands, and I took jackets and hung them on the newel post. Joe stood back, politely waiting to be invited further into the house. He was wearing chinos, and a red and white short-sleeved checked shirt.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ asked Craig. ‘Wine, lager, gin and tonic?’
We all opted for white wine and took our seats in the lounge. Joe and Laura took the settee facing the patio window, and I sat in one of the armchairs.
‘Your garden looks lovely,’ said Joe. ‘It’s big.’
‘Oh, thank you. It’s growing furiously at the moment. Do you like gardening?’
‘Well, I keep mine tidy, but I’m not an expert on plants.’
‘I get someone in to help when it needs a good cut back,’ I said as Craig entered with the drinks.
‘Cheers!’ we all said, quaffing back the wine. I felt like drinking mine down in one go but realised I’d not eaten for several hours, so I needed to take things easy.
‘So, do you have any 10K runs planned? Craig asked Joe.
‘Er, not until the autumn,’ replied Joe. ‘Do you run?’
‘No, I used to when I was younger. I go to the gym very occasionally.’
‘What about you, Sarah? Fancy taking it up?’ continued Joe.
‘Not for me. I love walking, but I’m too old for jogging.’
‘You’re never too old,’ said Joe. ‘It’s the secret of longevity. Did you see that study the other week which showed that taking up marathon running even in later life can undo all the harm from smoking and an unhealthy lifestyle?’
‘Yes, but I’m afraid I won’t be following the advice,’ I replied. ‘Perhaps I’ll try to swim more often though.’
‘Do you swim in the sea?’ asked Joe.
‘Oh, no, just the pool,’ I replied. ‘I’m not a strong swimmer.’
Joe smiled. ‘I’m the same. I’ve never been keen on swimming in the sea. All that horrible seaweed. Ugh! It’s gross.’
We laughed.
‘So, how’s your new job going?’ Laura asked Craig.
I raised my hand, ‘Sorry to interrupt, but is it OK to eat in about ten minutes?’
Everyone assented.
‘I’ll just go and finish off in the kitchen, then.’
I felt relieved that things were going reasonably well, and I could feel my glass of wine beginning to take effect. Snippets of conversation filtered through from the other room, which was a good sign, and I heard Craig relaying some story which was greeted by laughter.
The salmon was ready, I drained the potatoes, removed salads and dressings from the fridge and uncapped another bottle of wine. Stage two of the evening was about to get underway.
Chapter 31
‘That was a lovely meal, Sarah,’ said Laura.
‘My pleasure. More cheesecake?’
‘I’d love some, but I’m full,’ she replied.
‘I’ll just tidy that bit up,’ said Craig cutting a small slice.
I waited a few moments. ‘Well, if everyone’s finished, I’ll start to clear away,’ I said. ‘Joe? Anything else for you?’ Joe seemed to be lost in another world and was looking across the room at something. I smiled at Laura, who then nudged Joe and asked him the same question.
‘Oh, no thanks. I’ve had enough. It was lovely,’ he said.
‘More wine?’
‘Oh, yes please,’ Joe replied, slightly slurring his words.
‘Why don’t you finish this?’ I said, picking up the bottle.
‘Craig?’ said Joe. ‘Want to share it with me?’
‘If you insist,’ laughed Craig.
‘So, when’s the cocaine arriving?’
I dropped a spoon and fork noisily on to a plate and fumbled with them as I collected them up.
‘Sorry?’ I asked Joe.
‘I’m just being silly. It’s just that I was reading,’ he paused, ‘I was reading an article about dinner parties in London, and you can phone up for someone to deliver cocaine right to your house.’
‘Oh, I see,’ I replied, forcing a smile. I noticed Laura open her mouth to say something, but I shook my head at her.
‘Right, I’ll clear away,’ I said.
‘Let me help you,’ offered Laura.
I sensed she wanted a moment alone with me in the kitchen, so I didn’t protest too much. Laura helped me stack the dishwasher and whispered, ‘So, what do you think of Joe?’
‘He’s very nice. I’m pleased for you.’
‘Thanks. He’s drunk a bit more than he usually does, but I think he’s a bit nervous. Sorry about that remark about cocaine.’
‘That’s OK. I want him to enjoy himself,’ I replied as I busied myself with rinsing the dishes.
‘It’s just that he was offered drugs in a pub in Canterbury recently, and I think it’s affected him,’ Laura said laughing nervously.
‘It’s OK. It was a joke.’ I was tempted to add, ‘A rather poor one,’ but I continued rinsing the dishes.
‘Are you sure you are OK with Joe?’
‘I said, I’m fine, and I’m pleased for you.’
‘Really?’ said Laura. ‘I just wondered whether...., well, if something was bothering you?’
‘No, why?’ I stood up to face Laura.
‘Oh, nothing, you seemed a bit nervous, that’s all.’
I relaxed my shoulders. ‘I’m out of practice at having people around, and with me and Craig....,’ now it was my turn to pause. ‘Well, it’s just strange.’
‘Craig’s great,’ said Laura. ‘You look very happy together.’
‘Thank you,’ I smiled.
Laura gave me a quick hug. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you whether you found out anything else about what we discussed at lunch? I mean about what David was looking into?’
I had been dreading this question all evening. ‘Oh, no, nothing. In fact, I’ve not given it much thought as I’ve been busy,’ I lied.
‘Hmm, well, it’s probably for the best. No point in upsetting yourself,’ she replied.
‘No point in trying to find out what really happened to my husband,’ I felt like replying, but politeness prevented me. ‘Could you go and ask whether people would like tea or coffee, or something stronger?’ I asked Laura.
I quickly put some cling film over the leftovers and stowed them in the fridge. It was now just after 9 p.m., and I was hoping that my guests wouldn’t stay too late. They would need to phone for a taxi, so hopefully would realise it was Saturday night and they would have to give a bit of notice.
‘Coffee for me, please and whisky for the two boys,’ said Laura.
‘OK. Take these mints through, and I’ll be in soon,’ I replied.
I hoped I wasn’t getting a headache as I felt exhausted. I told myself that the evening had been a success and I took a few deep breaths before preparing the tray of drinks.
Upon entering the lounge, I found Joe standing up, looking at the bookshelf. I glanced at Craig, and he returned a knowing glance as if to say, ‘What could I do?’
‘Whisky, Joe,’ I said, somewhat forcefully.
‘Oh, lovely,’ said Joe, taking a sip.
‘Glenlivet. Is that OK?’
‘My favourite. It’s a good job I’m not working tomorrow,’ he said.
‘Me neither!’ laughed Craig. ‘It’s a good thing I don’t have another article to write tomorrow!’
‘I see you are an avid reader,’ said Joe.
‘Yes, I am. What about you?’
‘Oh, I don’t have much time for reading. I’m not retired like you.’
‘Something for you to look forward to,’ I replied, trying to disguise my annoyance.
‘I can’t see me retiring before sixty-five,’ replied Joe.
Before any of us could respond, Joe continued, ‘So, do you miss working at QexChem?’
‘Who’s going to go first?’ I laughed.
‘You first,’ said Craig. ‘You worked there the longest!’
‘I’m not sure how to take that,’ I said. ‘Twenty-five years. Of course, I was very young when I started,’ I joked.
‘It must have been good to feel you were doing something worthwhile?’ said Joe. ‘Research must be fascinating.’
‘It is interesting,’ I replied. ‘But there are a lot of disappointments as well.’
‘Tell me about it,’ said Laura.
‘Did you ever work on anything which became a drug?’ asked Joe.
‘Hardly anyone gets to enjoy that accolade,’ intervened Craig. ‘I only know one person who’s worked on something which has got to market.’
‘You mean Bob,’ I added.
‘Bob Williams?’ asked Laura.
Craig and I nodded.
‘So, did you get close to anything?’ asked Joe.
‘Well, there were projects which went along quite well, but failed later on,’ I said vaguely. ‘It’s all a long time ago now. I’ve tried to forget some of it.’ I was trying to steer the conversation away from life at QexChem. After all, the company had downsized considerably, and it hadn’t been a very pleasant time for a lot of people.
‘I didn’t do very well at science,’ continued Joe. ‘I didn’t even go to university.’
‘But Laura told me you are an Assistant Manager,’ I said. ‘It must be a responsible job.’
‘I guess so. I’ve worked my way up through the ranks, so I suppose that’s something.’
‘Joe, can I mention something?’ said Laura before Joe could answer. ‘I mean about, you know....’
Joe looked a bit embarrassed. ‘Yes, OK.’
‘Joe is in line for Manager. He’s had the interview, and when the current manager in Canterbury moves on, then he’ll officially be promoted!’
‘Wow! That’s really good!’ I said. ‘Congratulations.’
‘Thank you. I’ve been hoping for it for a while, but well, you never know whether it will happen.’
‘Well, if I need a loan, I’ll come to you for a good deal,’ said Craig.
‘I’ll see what I can do!’ winked Joe. ‘However,’ he paused, ‘I might not be so lenient if you go overdrawn!’
‘I’ll remember that,’ laughed Craig. ‘Any plans for tomorrow?’
‘Not really. Just relaxing I think.’
Laura looked at her watch. ‘I think I’d better order a taxi,’ she said, much to my relief. ‘Where’s my bag?’
‘I think it’s in the hall,’ I replied.
‘Do you watch any footie?’ Craig asked Joe.
‘Oh, now and again. I watch the World Cup and the Euro championships.’
As Craig and Joe chatted about sport, I took the cups into the kitchen.
‘The taxi will be here in about fifteen minutes,’ said Laura joining me in the kitchen. ‘You must come to us soon.’
‘Yes, that would be nice,’ I said. ‘And as I said before, I’m very pleased for you. Joe’s lovely.’
‘Thanks, Sarah. I’m not getting carried away, but I’m hopeful that this is going to work out for me.’
I smiled. ‘Shall we go back into the lounge?’ I hoped so too, but I still had the niggling feeling Joe wasn’t being honest about Bella. However, now was hardly the time for a confrontation. For the final fifteen minutes, I let Joe and Craig chat together as they seemed to be getting on well together. We heard a car horn toot which for me was very welcome.
‘Oh, that’s us,’ said Laura.
We all filed out to the front door, and I noticed Joe holding on to the door frame. We said our goodbyes and waved off our guests as the taxi pulled away.
I closed the door and leaned against it. ‘Pour me a whisky. I’m shattered.’
Chapter 32
After our guests had left, we decided to watch a film, but I couldn’t concentrate.
‘Can we go for a walk?’ I suggested.
‘Now? It’s nearly eleven.’
‘So? I need some air, and it’s not cold. What about a walk and then a nightcap when we get back? I won’t sleep unless I get a bit of exercise.’
‘OK,’ said Craig. ‘It’s a good idea. I can walk off that extra piece of cheesecake.’
