Kinnporsche, Volume 4, page 17
“I missed you so fucking much,” he said. Without waiting for me to get my bearings, he held me tightly and pushed me back against the wall. Then he pressed his nose to my face, alternating between my left and right cheeks.
“Vegas! Let me go!” I pushed at his chest, but he just stared at me hungrily. I opened my eyes with difficulty. My hair, my face, even my pajama pants were soaked through. “Let me go!”
“Don’t you want to know who died?” he asked slyly, his sharp eyes staring deeply into mine. The tip of my nose brushed against his, our breaths mingling together.
“You can tell me like a normal fucking person, you know.” I struggled against him, but Vegas had me cornered. He plastered his naked body against mine, keeping me pinned with his weight.
“Do you want to know?” he asked.
“W-well, yes, but you don’t have to tell me. It’s fine.” I turned my face away from him, but Vegas followed the motion.
“It’s someone important,” he said, singsong. “You really don’t want to know…?” He trailed off teasingly, making me pull a face at him again.
“Just spit it out!” I wanted to know, but I was also wary—Vegas had started rubbing up against my leg.
He broke into an evil grin. “If you want me to tell you, you have to kiss me first.”
I backed up further still, practically fusing with the wall. “Like hell! Get off!” I said, pushing his face away.
Vegas pulled back and looked at me with a haughty expression. “It’s fine if you don’t want to kiss me. But your young master wept so hard today that his eyes were all swollen,” he said.
He moved back under the shower spray, but when I thought about how Mr. Tankhun must have known this person well, I couldn’t help it; I needed to know.
My body acted before my brain could stop it. I tugged at Vegas’s wrist for him to turn around, put my hands on either side of his face, took a deep breath to gather my courage, and pulled him down into a kiss. I closed my eyes, thinking I’d just quickly get it over with, but inside, my heart was hammering wildly.
I didn’t know what kind of expression Vegas was making; I didn’t dare open my eyes to look. My whole body shivered, and all other thoughts melted away. There was only the warmth of his breath and the touch of his lips.
Abruptly, I came back to my senses and pulled away. Vegas stared at me, not even blinking.
I avoided looking at him and gingerly pushed him away. “Can you tell me now?”
Vegas grabbed my wrists and drew me in toward him. “What was that?” he asked, furrowing his brow, but still smiling at me.
“Just tell me, don’t play any tricks,” I said, even though I knew that I didn’t have any room to argue. I didn’t know how to act. My face felt hotter than normal.
“Why? You haven’t done what I asked you to,” he said.
“I already did! Don’t you dare—”
“That was just a peck, it doesn’t count… This is a kiss.”
Before I could react, Vegas grabbed my face and gently pressed his lips to mine. He nipped at my lower lip and sucked until I instinctively opened my mouth, allowing his hot tongue to lick inside. My body went weak; Vegas pulled my arms around his waist, and I had to hold on to him to stop myself from sliding to the floor. His hands moved down to hold on to my hips before he reached down further and gave my ass a firm squeeze.
“Mmph!” I inadvertently responded to Vegas sucking on my tongue. He surged forward until there was barely any space left for me to retreat.
I knew I was at a disadvantage, letting Vegas take control like this, but somehow, the fighting spirit inside me made me want to retaliate against his every touch. Our tongues tangled together, each of us trying to overpower the other, but I wouldn’t give up that easily! We pressed closer, and while the kiss had started with Vegas in full control, we now took turns trying to take charge.
“Mmm…”
At first, I was a little lost in the moment, but when his hand slid into my pants, my awareness came back. Wait… Fuck! What am I doing?!
“Mmph!” My eyes flew open, and I jerked away. Vegas frowned as I shrank back as far as I could. “Vegas, get your hands off me!”
I peeled his hands from my ass and pushed him away. Vegas giggled and licked his lips.
“Pervert. Asshole. So, are you going to tell me or not?!” What a waste of effort, fuck! What the hell are you doing, Pete?!
“Hmm… Should I tell you?”
“Fuck it, I don’t want to know! You’re a liar. You can’t be trusted.”
“Fine, fine, I won’t tease you anymore. This time, I promise I’ll tell you.” He glanced at me, his sharp eyes piercing me like I was his prey.
“What now?! I’ve done what you asked,” I muttered under my breath, but I knew he heard me. He smiled and leaned in close, but I twisted away.
“I’ll tell you, but you have to…sleep with me,” he said slowly, emphasizing every word.
I lost it. Motherfucker! Selfish piece of shit! Give him an inch, and he’ll take a mile! You think someone like me will let you get away with this? Fuck no!
“Forget it!” I struggled out of his grip and stomped off, thinking that if I stayed there, I’d just be a target for him to wind up.
When I got to the bathroom door, Vegas called after me, “Fine, fine, I’ll tell you.”
I turned back to give Vegas a nasty glare. “I don’t want to know,” I said, even though I desperately did. If I have to suffer, I should at least get something back.
He sighed. “I won’t tease you anymore.” He turned the shower back on to rinse himself off, so I stood there, waiting for him. His cheerful expression turned serious.
I turned to the door, not wanting to look him in the eye. “What?”
“I’m just wondering whether it’s a good idea to tell you or not,” he said somberly.
“Is it that bad?” I adjusted my tone. Judging from Vegas’s reaction, it was weighing on him.
“In a way…I think you’re just better off not knowing some things,” he murmured, almost like he was talking to himself.
I frowned at him. “What are you saying?” I asked, confused.
Vegas looked even more uncomfortable. “I’m not sure how you’d feel…”
“Of course I’ll be upset. I know everyone who works for the Major Clan.” Why did he have to act so serious? This couldn’t be good.
“You don’t…”
“What?! Didn’t you just say—?”
“I mean…I don’t know him. The guy who died,” Vegas said evenly. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist.
“What are you talking about?! Didn’t you say Mr. Tankhun was crying his eyes out?” I had the courage to glare at him directly now that he wasn’t naked.
“It’s…one of his men, maybe,” he said.
“What about a name? You said the funeral was big—how could there not be a name?” This guy was crazy. How could he go to a funeral and not see the name or a photo of the deceased?
“It was…Pong…Pong-something.” Vegas came over to the sink and started brushing his teeth. He acted so casually, like he wasn’t interested in the subject at all. He must really not have known whoever it was.
Pong, huh? People in the Major Clan named Pong… Aside from my legal name, Pongsakorn Saengtham, who else was named Pong? I scratched my head, thinking hard.
“Pong… Uncle Pong!” My eyes widened. “Are you serious?!”
“Maybe?” Vegas squeezed out his face wash and carefully scrubbed his face, occasionally sneaking glances at me.
“Uncle Pong…the security guard at the young master’s chocolate factory! Shit… I can’t believe he died so young.”
Vegas lifted his eyebrow and looked at me through the mirror. I stood at the bathroom door and rambled on, thinking about Uncle Pong. “I heard that he was sick here and there, but he was still going strong. I wasn’t that close to him, but he used to share his moonshine with Arm and me when the young master visited his factory.”
Although I wasn’t that close to him, Uncle Pong was still someone I knew, so I couldn’t help but feel sad. At the same time, as I let my mind wander, something suddenly occurred to me—the young master cried until his eyes were swollen? And put on a big funeral? He went that far? Mr. Tankhun didn’t know him that well.
Mr. Tankhun usually only did the bare minimum when he visited his factory and left as soon as he was done—he barely remembered his employees’ names. Really? He cried? The young master did have a sensitive side, but this was odd. What was going on?
“The young master cried? And put on a big funeral?” I asked in disbelief. Whenever an employee died, the Major Clan family usually only took the responsibility of the funeral host. They didn’t get personally involved; at most, they’d send a bodyguard as their representative. It was rare for even P’Chan to attend a funeral himself.
“It’s…the Major Clan. You know how they love to be over-the-top.” Vegas rinsed his face and patted it dry with another towel.
I was baffled. Was Vegas lying to me? Is he crazy, saying the young master was crying?! Maybe Mr. Tankhun is just obsessed with some new soap opera… Anyway, I’ll just offer my condolences for Uncle Pong.
I sighed. “Rest in peace, Uncle Pong. All meetings end in parting; that’s a fact of life,” I said, then gloomily walked out of the bathroom.
I saw the corner of Vegas’s mouth twitch upward, but I had no time to argue with him. I quickly wrapped my towel around myself and changed into a fresh pair of pajama pants before Vegas could come out.
I didn’t want Uncle Pong to have died—or anyone, for that matter—but I’d confess I was relieved it wasn’t anyone I was close to. I really wouldn’t have been able to handle it. It was still tragic, but I didn’t have much of a connection with Uncle Pong. I just felt sorry for his wife and kids.
Vegas came out and rifled through his closet for pajamas. “Still thinking about it?” he asked.
“Well… Hmm… I’m just worried about his wife and kids. Think about it—if you lost someone you loved, what would you do? It’s fucking depressing, you know?” I went to sit on the sofa, still thinking of Uncle Pong. “But as the saying goes, meetings are followed by parting. How can you stay together forever? I just think parting when you’re both still alive hurts less than parting through one’s death.”
Maybe Uncle Pong’s death was getting to me, so I was being more talkative than normal. But I didn’t have anyone else to open up to—it was just me and him in this room.
Vegas’s silence made me suddenly aware of his unusually somber mood.
“Vegas…Vegas, what’s wrong?” I turned to ask him.
Vegas sat in a daze at the foot of the bed. I wasn’t sure how, but lately I’d been able to notice even the slightest change in his mood; as soon as I started talking about death, his discomfort became clear.
“I…don’t like parting,” he said.
I wanted to pull my hair out. Argh! Why did I ramble on about death to him?! I completely forgot that his mother was dead and his beloved nanny had gone missing. And he was always talking about how alone in the world he felt! Damn it, I did it again!
“Doesn’t matter if it’s parting while alive or dead—I don’t like it,” he said. “My mother died, my nanny disappeared… No matter how much I miss them, I can never meet them again.”
I was right; that was Vegas. There was so much pain hidden inside him. Even if he could smile and laugh, his eyes held so many more unfathomable emotions.
“In the end, you’ve got to accept what’s happened,” I said. “If you’re still stuck in the past, you’ll never be able to move forward. I’m not trying to lecture you, but if you accept reality, you’ll be happier. I’m serious.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to comfort him, but maybe I was afraid he’d get angry and take it out on me.
“You know, today,” he said suddenly, “it was kind of funny…but then, I imagined if it were real. I probably wouldn’t be able to accept it either.” I couldn’t make heads or tails of this.
“What? I don’t get what you’re saying.”
Vegas fixed his gaze on me. His eyes cleared, and he slowly smiled. “I’m happy that it’s not real. I came back home and saw you sitting on that bed, doing your thing… Do you know how damn relieved I was right then? Even when I knew nothing had happened to you.” I was even more confused now. Was this asshole drunk or something? He wasn’t making any sense!
“How could anything happen to me?” I laughed. “You’ve got me chained up in here. If anything’s going to happen to me, it’ll be that I’ve died of boredom.”
Vegas shook his head and walked toward me. He stood over me and used his hands to carefully bring my face toward his stomach, gently holding me.
“Can you stay with me forever?” he murmured.
My heart skipped a beat before I was interrupted by another thought: Shit! I forgot to act unreasonable!
Vegas was especially besotted with me these days, and that was no good. I couldn’t act like I understood life, that I saw the truth that all things were impermanent—I couldn’t have the dharma in my heart! I had to fuck with him first! I had to cause chaos and annoy the shit out of him so he’d get fed up with me! How could I forget?!
I pushed Vegas away from me and looked up at him obstinately. “Where’s my rad na?”
“Hmm?” He looked bewildered for a moment, but then his eyes widened in sudden clarity. “Oh, right.”
“Don’t tell me you forgot!” I snapped when I saw his guilty look. Oh…I’m mad, all right. You can forget whatever you want to forget, but you can’t forget my food!
“Tankhun splashed fish maw soup all over me!” he protested. “I came straight home. I completely forgot.”
“Bastard! How could you forget?! I’m starving!” I hadn’t eaten anything since noon; I’d been too busy worrying about what had happened with the Major Clan to eat.
“What?! I told you to eat first.”
“But you promised to bring me rad na!” I got up from the sofa and stared him down.
“Tomorrow, then,” he said with a straight face.
Oh, now I was even more pissed off. My hunger took over, and I forgot to calm myself down, forgot that Vegas could just punch me. Right now, his face was completely blank. He just kept staring at me.
“What do you mean, tomorrow? I’m hungry right now,” I said, pretending to kick the sofa in anger. In truth, my heart was beating hard, especially when I saw Vegas frown and let out a sigh. I started to waver, wondering if I should keep going or quit while I was ahead. What should I do?
“Then why didn’t you eat? And now you’re angry with me?”
“You said you’d come back to eat with me!” I blurted, but I softened my voice a bit at the end. If I hadn’t done that, I’d have been eating a kick to the face right now instead of dinner. Maybe it was time to abort the mission and just go to sleep so I could forget how hungry I was.
I figured Vegas was about to explode, rage simmering under the surface. Judging from his mood, he’d put up with enough from me. I stomped toward the bed and climbed in, pulling the blanket over my head so if he wanted to kick me, he’d have a harder time aiming. Phew!
Secretly, I was scared.
“Pete…”
Under the blanket, I couldn’t see what sort of expression he was making; I could only concentrate on my breathing. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.
“Fine, fine, I’ll order delivery,” Vegas said, sounding tired.
He wasn’t angry anymore, but he should at least have been annoyed with me—or was it just because he’d been through a lot today? I decided to push him a little more. If he was tired, at least that meant he’d be too sleepy to kick me.
I threw the blanket back and glared at him. “No! You said you were going to get it for me!”
“Isn’t this the same thing? I’m ordering it now,” he said.
“…It’s not the same.”
“Argh… So I have to go out and buy it?” He pulled at his hair in frustration. I nodded slowly. He heaved a long sigh and got up to grab his robe and car keys, marching out in a huff.
I sighed in relief that he hadn’t laid a hand on me. Fuck, I nearly had a heart attack there. I stared at Vegas’s back, waiting until he’d left the room before I burst out laughing.
“Ha ha! That was fun. Whoo!” I cheered, getting up from the bed. I was on a roll! “Heh, bet you’re thinking twice now. See how annoying it is for me to stay with you? I’m a perfect copy of Mr. Tankhun! Ha ha!” I ambled over to the sofa and sat down, propping my feet up on the coffee table as I waited. Who knew that getting whatever I wanted would be so much fun? Now I know why the young master does it! Hah!
Vegas disappeared for almost an hour. He came back with a bowl, and I happily sorted out our rad na. He’d bought three servings, and he ate with me, although he only managed to eat half of his portion. As for me, I polished off two servings. He sat and stared at me as he waited for me to finish. You must be wondering whether or not to let me go, huh, bastard? I’m so excited!
I felt satisfied as the night drew to a close. The only snag was when Vegas pulled me into an embrace as we slept, wrapping his arms and legs around me like he did every other night. Damn it! You can still hug me? You’ll think twice tomorrow. When will you stop being so smitten with me?
***
At the start of a new day, I broke out into song:
“What should I do? Just one glance
An’ I’m scared to get close.
It’s love from my heart, I’d like ya t’know.
When I see ya, I get nervous,
I take one look and run.
Dunno when I can let ya know,
There’s somebody who thinks yer the one.
But ma looks ain’t yer type,
Just a country boy raisin’ cows in this life.
Don’t have any papers, but I got my scythe.
Mahalai Wua Chon!”19
I wanted to mess with Vegas from the moment he got up—this would annoy him for sure! I’d confuse him for the whole day. Singing in the Southern dialect was a great way to start. Have you ever even heard it before? Heh.
