“Hia…” Chay must have seen that I wasn’t looking too great, so he came over and looped his arm around mine, squeezing my hand.

  Khun, Kim, and Kinn helped Pete’s grandparents into the sala. Both of them were crying their eyes out; it was heartbreaking to watch. It seemed that the Major Clan didn’t see Pete as just another employee, but as part of their family. They were clearly close to Pete’s grandparents, because Khun kept hugging Pete’s grandma and crying along with her.

  Kinn crawled up to Pete’s grandparents on his knees and prostrated himself at their laps, then briefly conversed with them. Pete’s grandpa and grandma seemed to adore those three brothers, so I let them talk and excused myself to help the others with preparing Pete’s funeral.

  The first night of chanting continued.11 Mr. Korn and P’Chan arrived around early evening as various guests crowded the sala. Most of them were probably the Major Clan’s business partners.

  We didn’t speak much. Tankhun was a bit more responsive, but still very depressed. We made sure everything went smoothly, and the Major Clan acted as host for the whole seven days.

  Tonight, Pol and Nont would stay behind to sleep at the sala and keep Pete company, while everyone else returned home to rest. We’d come back to start again tomorrow.

  I sat in the BMW as Kinn drove. I looked away from him, giving one-word answers every time he tried to talk to me. I was even more furious with him now that I’d seen Pete’s grieving grandparents.

  Kinn told me that the Major Clan owned an edible bird’s nest company on the southern island where Pete lived. When they were young, his father would often take his three sons with him on business trips, and Pete’s grandma absolutely adored them. Their families grew apart as they got older because Mr. Korn had many subsidiary businesses to see to, and Kinn and his brothers didn’t get to go as often; it was P’Chan who took care of things, right up until Pete came to work at the Major Clan’s house. That was why the family was closer to Pete than the other bodyguards—and why his loss was all the more devastating.

  ***

  I finally allowed Kinn to come back and sleep in our room because I knew he must be exhausted. I’d hardly eaten, but I wasn’t hungry at all.

  It’d been three days already. I was still angry with Kinn, but we’d talked more. Over the past two days, Tem and Jom, along with Kinn’s friends Time, Tay, and Mew, had showed up to help out. Kim’s friends were here as well. I didn’t know them, but Chay certainly did.

  The sala ended up packed full of people, who all knew Pete and were shocked by the news of his death.

  “Khun, let’s go eat.” I wanted to have dinner now because, as evening fell, more guests would arrive, and it’d be just as busy as on the other days; we wouldn’t have time to eat later.

  Tankhun had used his authority as the owner’s eldest son to order all the family’s subsidiary companies to close. Although Mr. Korn was against it, he didn’t have it in his heart to deny Khun.

  Khun had sat next to Pete’s coffin all day. He’d had his head buried in his knees for a while now, and he didn’t answer my call to dinner.

  “Khun…let’s go eat. The monks will be here soon,” I said.

  “M’not hungry,” Khun grumbled.

  “Hello,” a new voice said.

  I turned, following the sound, and brought my hands up in a wai to greet the newcomer. It was Khun’s Dr. Top, or Tap, or something like that. I knew Khun had a giant crush on the guy. He’d fallen so hard and so fast; it’d been a little shocking to suddenly find out he liked men too. Fuck it, forget about that. Maybe this Dr. Top might be able to help Khun feel better.

  “I’ll go pay my respects first,” the doctor said. He seemed to be talking to me, but his eyes were focused on Tankhun’s back.

  I squatted down to nudge Tankhun’s arm. “Khun, Dr. Top is here.”

  Khun looked up at Dr. Top. When he saw the doctor finish paying his respects, Khun gave him a wai before dropping his head onto his knees again.

  Dr. Top scooted over to sit next to us. “My condolences,” he said.

  I gently tugged the hem of Tankhun’s shirt. “Khun…go take Dr. Top to a seat.”

  Dr. Top looked at me worriedly. “It’s all right,” he insisted.

  “He won’t eat,” I told the doctor. “I’ll have to trouble you to talk to him.”

  He nodded, but he looked unsure. “I’ll try.”

  I was only able to keep Khun company for a few more minutes before Kim summoned me to help greet the other guests. As for Kinn, he sat with Pete’s grandparents, who’d been crying almost nonstop.

  Dr. Top finally succeeded in getting Khun to move to one of the sofas; it was good to see him looking a little better.

  Time passed, and another night of chanting was completed. The crowd was thinner today, compared to the first couple of days. Guests began to file out, though a few stayed behind to talk and to eat the food we’d prepared. I was about to get up and fetch Kinn something to eat, since he didn’t get to eat much today, when suddenly…

  “Sorry, hia, Vegas and I had some business to take care of, so we’re late.”

  I wasn’t familiar with his voice, but I remembered his face well: It was Mr. Kant of the Minor Clan.

  “It’s fine, it’s fine,” Mr. Korn said, his voice placid. He didn’t seem particularly interested in the Minor Clan’s arrival.

  “And who is this funeral for?” Mr. Kant asked.

  “Pete. Khun’s personal bodyguard.”

  “Did you have to arrange such a big ceremony, hia? Isn’t this a bit over-the-top?”

  I clenched my fists, trying to keep my emotions under control. I had no idea how the two of them could smile at each other after everything that had happened. And if it really was the Minor Clan who did this to Pete, how could they dare to step into this place? Those shameless motherfuckers!

  “Khun really did love him like a brother,” Mr. Korn explained.

  “Hello, Be.” Vegas and Macau followed after Mr. Kant, greeting Mr. Korn with wai gestures.

  Vegas looked over to where the coffin was set up and stared at the photo memorial in surprise. He looked taken aback, slowly walking up to the photo with his brows furrowed. He stopped in front of the photo, mouth moving silently like he was reading out the name underneath, then sighed and pursed his lips, holding back laughter.

  I glared daggers at Vegas. You dare laugh at my friend?! What’s so fucking funny, huh?! I couldn’t stand to see him smiling so blithely; it was the final straw. I launched myself at him and punched him square in the face, catching him off guard. He swayed and nearly fell before he turned back to look at me steadily.

  “Porsche…stop!” Kinn pulled me back as I tried to reacquaint Vegas’s face with my foot.

  “Porsche,” Vegas said evenly.

  “Why are you smiling? My friend is dead, and you’re smiling?!” I shouted, not caring about the commotion around me. Everything happened so fast…

  “Vegas!” Khun came out of nowhere with a bowl of fish maw soup, aiming to dump it on Vegas’s head, but Vegas backed away in time for it to spill all over his shoulder instead.

  “Shit!” someone exclaimed as Vegas’s black suit dripped with the sticky liquid. So much for serving that soup to the guests.

  “Tankhun! What the hell are you doing?!” Vegas yelled angrily, looking down at the state of his clothes.

  “Murderer—! Oof! Lemme go!”

  Kim quickly slapped a hand over Khun’s mouth from behind and pulled his brother away, struggling. Kinn was still holding on to me as he turned to scold Kim.

  “Kim! Why didn’t you stop Khun?”

  “I didn’t have time! He grabbed the bowl and just ran over to dump it on ’Gus!”

  “Hia! Are you okay? What did you do to my brother?!” Macau patted his brother with tissues, glaring at Khun.

  Khun was still kicking the air, trying to cuss out the Minor Clan even with Kim’s hand tightly clasped over his mouth. It was so fucking satisfying to see. I’d only managed to get a single punch in, but it was enough.

  “Are you crazy?!” Macau shouted at Khun.

  “Shut up, ’Cau!” Kim shouted back.

  “He started it! If your rabid dog is contagious, you’d better put a leash on him instead of letting him run around, biting other people!”

  When Khun heard this, he thrashed even harder to break free from Kim. It was a good thing Dr. Top came over to help; Kim alone wouldn’t have been able to hold Khun back.

  Kinn loosened his hold on me once he saw that I’d calmed down. “Enough, that’s enough. Do you all have no shame?!” he shouted. Guests were beginning to look our way.

  Mr. Korn and Mr. Kant came over.

  “What’s all this?” asked Mr. Korn.

  “Nothing, Father, just a misunderstanding,” Kinn immediately answered.

  “Vegas!” Mr. Kant hurried over to Vegas and inspected his son. “Hia! What did your son do to mine?!”

  “Khun was going to bring Vegas some fish maw soup, Zek,” said Kim, quickly making up an excuse, “but he tripped, so it spilled all over him.”

  Judging from the two patriarchs’ reactions, they probably hadn’t seen me punch Vegas. There’d been flowers and funeral wreaths blocking their lines of sight; plus, they’d been busy talking to each other. Probably only a few people had seen that punch, but everyone must’ve noticed Khun throwing soup over Vegas.

  “Oh? All right, it’s good that there’s no trouble here. Just a misunderstanding,” Mr. Korn said.

  “But, hia, your son…” Mr. Kant started.

  “Boys will be boys. They’re probably just playing around. Forget it; we shouldn’t step in. Will someone find a cloth for Vegas to wipe himself off with?” Mr. Korn pulled Mr. Kant back to the sofas to talk.

  Vegas huffed, glancing at Kinn, Khun, and Kim before grabbing the tissues in Macau’s hands and throwing them to the floor. He closed his eyes, then turned to stare at Kinn.

  “Ah… It’s such a shame, Kinn. How did Pete die?” Vegas asked with a smirk.

  Fuck! I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was a side of Vegas I never imagined I’d see. He was able to switch gears so smoothly that it scared me. His eyes flashed with cruelty, but he was still able to smile. I used to think that smile was so bright and cheerful, but now…it was like I’d never even known the real Vegas.

  Kinn made a soft noise, like he was at his limit with Vegas.

  “Alas, someone so skilled shouldn’t have died so young, don’t you agree?” Vegas went on. “Did someone do something to him, or…did he go looking for trouble?”

  “Vegas, don’t you dare say another word,” Kim growled, passing Khun over to Dr. Top. He was getting riled up too. I noticed Macau glare unhappily at the two of them.

  “Heh… As usual, the Major Clan is one step behind. Let’s go, Macau—we’re leaving.” Vegas tugged Macau’s wrist and pulled him out of the sala.

  “What do you mean by that, huh?!” Kim shouted. He made to follow them, but Kinn stopped him.

  “Kim, that’s enough,” he said. “Let him go.”

  “Damn it, I want to kick his teeth in!”

  “Let him be. Vegas is all talk. When the time comes, we’ll see just how smug he is.”

  Our friends and various bodyguards went to talk to the guests and soothe any ruffled feathers. “This was all just a misunderstanding. It’s all been sorted out now.”

  We dispersed to see to our own duties. Friends gathered around, asking how I was. I was fine, although I’d have felt even better if I got in another punch or two.

  I was still hung up on Vegas’s last sentence, though: “The Major Clan is always one step behind”? What did that mean?

  I was too busy to pay it any mind. We had to send the guests away, make sure everything was in order, and prepare for tomorrow. We were exhausted.

  When we got home, Kinn and I took turns using the bathroom. When we were done, we both collapsed into bed. I let Kinn hold me like before. I saw how tired he was, dealing with guests and family the whole day. The anger in my heart was fading with time.

  ***

  Pete’s funeral progressed to its sixth day. Tomorrow would be his cremation. We were busy as usual, but today held more significance.

  When we got back home, Khun looked a bit better. Everyone was beginning to accept and make peace with Pete’s loss.

  We had a fire going in a metal bin. I stood by the tall metal can as smoke billowed from it. Khun, Chay, Pol, and Arm stood by me while Kinn, Kim, P’Chan, and Mr. Korn looked on awkwardly from a distance.

  “Pete, if you want anything…just come tell us in Arm’s dreams, and I’ll send it to you,” Khun said with a shaky voice as he threw joss paper into the fire, one piece at a time.12

  Arm whipped around to stare at Khun. “Why my dreams?!”

  Khun hiccupped with sobs. “Here… Is this house big enough? I chose the biggest one for you,” he said, throwing in a paper house. Arm, Pol, and I continued to throw in joss paper as Chay stoked the fire with a long stick to keep it burning.

  “Here, have some servants… Just tell them what you want. I’ve sent you ten, so you’ll be comfortable, Pete. You won’t have to do anything for yourself.” Khun’s sniffling and wailing got louder as he spoke.

  “Here…a platinum credit card…” Khun threw more paper into the fire. “There’s no spending limit, but don’t go overboard. You won’t be able to pay off the interest otherwise.”

  “You do realize that burning joss paper is only done for people over fifty and only for your direct ancestors, right?” Mr. Korn asked loudly.

  “Shush, Father, what do you know?!” Khun turned to argue. “Pete would also want a house in the afterlife! How will he have a comfortable afterlife if he doesn’t have any money?!”

  Kim and Kinn shook their heads, staring like they’d had enough of his antics, but the rest of us concentrated on burning the gold and silver paper.

  I didn’t really know how this tradition worked; when my parents died, I’d just made merit for them at the temple. I’d never burned anything for them, no matter how Chinese I looked. But I was following Khun’s lead on this because at least it was one last thing I could do for Pete. I didn’t know if it would reach him, but I had to try.

  Khun sniffled. “I’m sorry, Pete. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you in time. Be at peace. But if you’re not…go haunt Arm or Pol. Tell them what you want… I’ll make sure to get it for you…” Khun threw a dozen or so paper cars in, making the smoke thicken and ash blow into the house. Kinn, Kim, Mr. Korn, and P’Chan all began to cough and wheeze from the fumes.

  Khun hacked and sniffled. “If you’re lonely, I’ll send Arm and Pol to keep you company…”

  “Wait, wait, Young Master—maybe not that.” Pol and Arm looked at Khun.

  “I want him to have friends…but it’s all right. If Arm and Pol don’t want to, I’ve got Madam Yok’s picture… I’ll burn Madam Yok for you, since you said you liked her bar. Let her open a club wherever you are… Don’t forget to play the music I like,” Tankhun wept. “Think of me, Pete. You don’t have to visit me… J-just think of me, and I’ll know.” He threw a life-size cardboard cutout of Madam Yok into the metal can. He really had prepared everything. I felt a little sorry for Madam Yok, suddenly having to go to the afterlife like that.

  “That’s it. Chay, let’s go inside. I’ve breathed in so much smoke that I’m going to get lung cancer,” Kim said, beckoning Chay to follow him.

  Kinn came up to me and looped his arm over my shoulder, tugging me inside. “Let’s go shower.”

  Behind us, Khun kept wailing, “Pete! Why did you leave me?! Pete!”

  The entire house stank of smoke, and the bodyguards and maids had to bring out electric fans to air out the place, but otherwise, the day’s work was done. It seemed like everyone was starting to let go of their grief, and the atmosphere in the house began to lighten. In the end, we tried to encourage each other to keep moving forward.

  By late morning the next day, I was extra busy: It was the day of Pete’s cremation. I’d gone out to buy a few miscellaneous items and more joss paper. Khun said he wanted to burn more offerings because he was still afraid Pete wouldn’t be comfortable, so I’d volunteered. There happened to be a religious goods store in my old neighborhood, so I planned to stop and check on my house while I was out. Chay came with me, wanting to fetch some books from his bedroom that he forgot to bring with him earlier.

  I’d wanted to come back to our house at least once a week anyway. I wouldn’t sell it, no matter what. I’ll keep this house, since Mr. Korn already returned the deed to me. I’m going to keep this place as a memory; it’s all Chay and I have left of our mom and dad…

  When we turned the corner onto our street, Chay pointed through the car window to a local shop. “Oh, hia, the khanom krok shop is open.13 Let’s stop by on the way back.”

  I was somewhat surprised; my little brother didn’t really like desserts. “Didn’t you say that place makes them too sweet? And you don’t like them, anyway.”

  “Kim has a sweet tooth, hia. Everything he eats is sickeningly sweet. Even his noodles—he puts so much sugar in there that the broth is basically a syrup.”

  When I heard him say Kim’s name, I narrowed my eyes, glancing between him and the road. We’d never really talked about this properly, had we?

  “What’s going on between you and Kim?” I asked.

  Chay panicked. “Nothing! There’s nothing going on,” he squeaked, voice rising in pitch as he pretended to admire the scenery outside.

  “What do you mean, nothing? You two are stuck together like glue!” I slowed the car, taking the long way through the side streets so I’d have more time to interrogate Chay.

  “We’re just…talking,” Chay said.

  “Hah! Talking, my ass. How many times have you done that to him?” Damn it! I never thought my little brother would turn out to be this kind of person! And I never thought I would have to ask my brother this kind of question. Chay, you little…

  “What?! Me? Did what to him?” Chay looked at me like he didn’t understand.

 

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