Seeking Home, page 6
part #1 of Family Bonds Series
Sabine said nothing, but behind Jennie’s words she heard a note of bitterness.
“Anyhow, after they died, Tanner couldn’t be here anymore. So he sold everything—tractors, baling equipment, cows—everything. Paid off whatever debt he incurred from building that house for Dana. Between the insurance money on Dana and what was left and the rent of the place, I’ve been able to stay here. He put some of the money into a fund for me in case I wanted to buy another place, but I had no intention of moving. Until now.” She released a light laugh. “But since then, I’ve had a heart attack. Even if he wasn’t selling the place, I prefer not to live here.”
Sabine let Jennie’s words rest between them, giving them the weight they deserved. Besides, anything she might have to say had the potential to sound trite.
“So you wouldn’t stay on the ranch if you could?” Sabine asked, hardly believing her.
Jennie shook her head. “No. My granddaughter Shannon told me fairly loud and clear that I need to move to town, and she’s right. This last health scare showed me that.” She looked over the yard with a gentle sigh. “It will be hard to leave this behind, but a part of me looks forward to being closer to my friends. To be able to walk on sidewalks and be closer to the church. I don’t enjoy driving as much as I used to.”
“You know, you’re welcome to come and stay any time you want.” Sabine gave her an encouraging smile. “After all, there is a cabin on the property that I can attest to being very comfortable.”
Jennie laughed. “Well, now that’s good to know. I might take you up on that offer.”
Sabine smiled, feeling sorry for her and sorry for the man who had just left. The man who, by selling the ranch, was probably trying to erase any vestiges of his loss from his life.
Chapter 5
“Just make sure you return them in the same shape you got them.”
Elliot Tye grinned as he handed Tanner the halter rope of one of the horses he had brought over just this morning.
“Any scratches and scuffs will be deducted from your damage deposit,” he continued.
Tanner laughed at his friend’s comments as he took the rope and tied the horse to the top rail of the fence. “And I’m guessing I should fill them up before I return them?”
“Preferably.” Elliot ducked back into the horse trailer and led the second one out, the sound of the hooves echoing in the large stock trailer. “So this one is Cusco, the other one is Two Bits. I can vouch for them both. Bombproof and cougar-proof.”
“Cougars? Do we seriously have to worry about them?” Sabine’s concerned voice behind him made Tanner spin around, but to his relief she was alone. As she had promised.
Last night, after her daughter was in bed, Sabine had walked up to the house. Nana was already sleeping and Tanner was out on the deck, typing out a response on his laptop to Jennings, who had sent over the prospectus on the business.
She had stood at the bottom of the stairs, her hands folded in front of her, the muted light burnishing her copper hair, her features cast in shadow.
She had come to tell him that she understood his reaction to Olivia and gave him her sympathies. His grandmother had told her about his wife and daughter and she was sorry about what happened.
She said she understood his reaction to her daughter and had spoken with Nana about finding someone to watch Olivia while Tanner showed her around the ranch.
The concern and sympathy in her voice created a quiver of sorrow inside him. But he had contained it and thanked her for her consideration.
Then she had left without another word. He had stood to watch her go, thankful and touched by her sensitivity.
So this morning Nana and Olivia had gone to the Tye ranch to do some baking with Faith and play with Tricia’s twins, leaving Sabine free for the day to ride around the ranch with Tanner.
Except there were no horses on the ranch, so Tanner had asked Elliot to lend him a couple for a few days.
“Hey, Sabine,” Elliot said, handing her Two Bits’ halter rope. “Haven’t seen you around for a long, long time.”
“Haven’t been around for a long, long time.” She took the rope from him, then shot a quick glance at Tanner. “I may as well saddle him up, right?”
“If you’re confident, yeah.” He smiled his encouragement. For a moment their gazes held.
An old emotion tingled its way up his spine.
Attraction. Appeal.
Today she wore a brand-new cowboy hat, her hair tied back in a loose ponytail, a blue chambray shirt, faded blue jeans, and bright red cowboy boots. Country girl to the ground.
“I know,” she said, catching the direction of his gaze. She lifted one foot, inspecting her own boots. “I couldn’t resist them or this hat.” Flashing him a playful grin, she tipped her hat to him. “I also brought some water bottles, and Nana Bond gave me these.” She held up a bag of cookies. “In case we get hungry, I guess.”
Another grin and another frisson of awareness shivered through him.
He turned away to break the connection, wondering where that had come from. He hadn’t looked at or thought of another woman since Dana and Paulette’s deaths. Guilt had hobbled him, and grief had debilitated him.
“We can put those in my saddlebag once we’re all ready,” Tanner said.
“Or you can feed them to the cougars,” Elliot put in.
“Don’t let him scare you,” Tanner said, shooting Elliot a warning glance, which his friend shrugged off. “We haven’t seen a cougar around here for years.”
“You haven’t been around for years,” Elliot returned. “But I still maintain that was a cougar I saw that time you, me, and Garret were out riding.”
“That was years and years ago,” Tanner said. “I still say it was a tree branch.”
“Nope. Wasn’t. I have sniper vision,” Elliot returned, grinning at Sabine. “Tanner just doesn’t want to admit that he was wrong. The three of us were riding up in the hills behind our ranch. Way back onto Crown land. On an adventure. Joe Grimes, our ex-hired hand, had told us that he’d seen a cougar back there so we were out to find it. And I saw it. Sitting in the bushes, waiting to pounce.” He lowered his voice, lifting his hands as if imitating a cougar.
“It was a tree that had fallen,” Tanner said, brushing off his horse, unable to repress a grin at Elliot’s dramatics. “Besides, cougars don’t lay in wait on the ground. They like to be up in trees. And that fake cougar sighting is one of his only claims to fame other than Saddle Bronc Rider of the Year.”
“In high school,” Elliot griped, closing the door of the aluminum trailer with a clang.
Tanner shrugged, catching Sabine’s grin at their give-and-take.
Elliot was an old friend he had shared many adventures with. And sorrows. Though Elliot was on the rodeo circuit, chasing his dreams when Dana and Paulette died, he’d taken the time to come to Rockyview. Support and help him.
“Fame is an elusive creature,” Tanner said, walking over to Two Bits and brushing him down with quick, practiced movements.
“And overrated.” Elliot walked over to where the horses were tied. “Do you need a hand?” he asked Sabine, who was bending over to pick up the saddle blanket Tanner had laid out for her along with the saddle.
“No. I got this.”
Tanner watched as she laid the blanket up nice and high up Two Bits’ withers, then slid it down to where it should be. A quick heave and an unladylike grunt and she got the saddle sitting on the blanket. She adjusted it as well, then walked around the back of the horse, talking to it, her hand floating lightly over its rear.
“Looks like you know what you’re doing,” Elliot said.
“Not my first rodeo, if you’ll pardon the wordplay,” she said, smiling at Elliot.
It was one of those genuine smiles. The kind that could light up a room. The kind that could settle in your soul and give you hope.
And from the way Elliot was grinning back at her, despite being happily married, he seemed affected by it as well.
“Like I said, Two Bits is pretty bombproof, so you won’t be rodeoing up in the back forty with him,” Elliot said. “Of course, you don’t have to worry if anything happens with your horse. Tanner was one of the best rodeo pick-up men when he bothered to do it. He’d rescue you if things went south. You’d be in good hands.”
Tanner shot Elliot a warning glance, but his friend was just grinning at him, oblivious to Tanner’s discomfort.
“Anyway, I promised Kinsley I would help her truck some of her stuff out to a photo shoot, so I better get going if I want to keep my wife happy.” Elliot patted Two Bits on the rump, and gave him a discreet wink.
As if Tanner and Sabine were headed out on a date.
Tanner just shook his head as Elliot sauntered off to his bright red pickup hooked to the stock trailer.
“Have fun, you two,” he called out as he stepped into the truck.
Then he started it up and drove away.
“Sorry about Elliot,” Tanner said, feeling a need to apologize as he threaded the leather strap of the cinch through his saddle’s rigging. “He says whatever comes to his mind.”
“I remember that about him,” Sabine said, her smile showing Tanner she hadn’t taken anything Elliot said or inferred seriously. “But he seems to have settled down from the wild and full-speed-ahead teenager I remember.”
“Yeah. Life, and especially marriage, can do that to a person,” Tanner said, hefting his saddle onto his horse.
“Can do it to some people,” Sabine said with a faint shrug as she picked up her bridle.
Tanner wondered if she was talking about Olivia’s father.
And behind that came another realization.
“I’m sorry to say that I never offered you condolences on your own loss.” He looked over his horse at her, watching her back as she slipped the bridle on, slipping Two Bits’ ear through the headstall.
She was quiet as she buckled the headstall, and he wondered if the loss was still too fresh, the pain too deep.
She untied the rope from the fence, pushing gently on her horse’s chest to get it to move back.
Then she looked over at him, a look of melancholy on her face.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
She seemed remarkably composed considering her husband had died recently.
He was buckling up the headstall on his horse as she led her horse around the yard, talking to it, allowing it some time to get used to her.
She seemed comfortable around a horse she had never seen before. Confident.
He slipped the cookies and water in the saddlebag he had tied to the back of his saddle, untied Cusco, and walked him around the yard as well, watching Sabine. She stopped her horse, slipped the reins over its head, grabbed the halter rope as well as the reins, put her foot in the stirrup, and wisely hovered a moment, hanging over the saddle, waiting.
As promised, Two Bits stood perfectly still. No shifting or moving. Sabine threw her leg over, patted him on the side, her smile once again lighting up her face.
And, once again, creating an unwelcome reaction in Tanner.
He put his foot in the stirrup and mounted up as well, but Cusco was jumpier and it took a few moments to get him to stand still.
“Looks like I got the quieter horse,” Sabine said. “Which is a good thing. I haven’t been riding in ages.”
“I’m a bit rusty myself, so I guess we won’t be running any races,” Tanner returned.
He settled in the saddle, glancing over at Sabine. “The stirrups good for you?”
She stood, then sat down, nodding. “Perfect.” She pulled in a deep breath, beaming. “And it’s a perfect day for a ride.”
It was indeed. A bluebird sky with tiny puffs of cloud chasing each other, sending shadows racing over the greening hills.
Warm with a light breeze to keep the early spring bugs at bay.
“Let’s go, then.” He clucked to his horse, and with a gentle nudge to his ribs, Cusco headed out. “I thought we would check fence on the lower pastures first,” Tanner told her, talking to her over his shoulder. “If you aren’t too tired, we can go to the upper pastures afterward.”
“Sounds great,” she called out.
Tanner turned his horse toward the first cattle yard. He had already opened the gates. No cattle to worry about getting out and wandering around.
She brought her horse up beside his, looking around. “How long will we be gone, do you think?”
“Worried about saddle sores?”
“No. I just don’t want your nana to have to take care of...Olivia too long.” She hesitated over her daughter’s name.
He sensed her reluctance to mention Olivia, and, although seeing her daughter did bring up difficult memories, hearing her name didn’t. But he wasn’t sure how to bring that up. Given how he’d shown pretty clearly how sensitive he was to Olivia’s presence.
“Long enough to eat those cookies,” he said, choosing an easy response.
“They are good cookies,” Sabine said. “I’ll have to get the recipe.”
“You bake?” he asked, leading Cusco through another open gate.
“Too much.” Sabine laughed, coming up beside him again.
“Is there such a thing?” Tanner asked, surprising himself at the teasing tone that entered his voice.
“According to Olivia, no.” Again she paused at the mention of her daughter’s name.
Tanner realized he had put her in this awkward situation. And while seeing Olivia still recreated painful memories, it wasn’t Sabine or her daughter’s fault. Sabine shouldn’t have to walk around him as if he was made of glass.
“It’s okay. You can mention Olivia’s name,” he said, slanting her a sideways glance. “This shouldn’t be so awkward.”
Sabine looked ahead, her expression serious. “Maybe, but I’d like to be sensitive to your loss.”
“I appreciate that.” He tried to catch her eye, but she was looking ahead.
“I hope you can find your way through it someday,” she said.
He wasn’t sure what to say to that.
So he said nothing, enjoying the soft sounds of riding in the hills. A soft breeze sifting down from the mountains, the creak of leather saddles, the plonk of horses’ hooves on the hard ground. As he let the quiet surround them, older memories slipped to the surface. Memories of riding with Elliot and Garret. Sometimes they would race, but mostly just ride, the three of them content to be on horseback out in the hills and back country. Away from everyone and everything.
He drew in a long, slow breath, lifting his face to the sun, the warmth covering him like a blessing.
They rode in silence for awhile and, to Tanner’s surprise, it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. Sabine seemed more than content to simply look around. The gentle smile on her face told him that she was enjoying the ride as much as he was.
“I’ve missed this,” he said after awhile. “Been too long since I’ve been on a horse.”
“So you might get saddle sores before me?”
Tanner grinned at her spunky comment. “Maybe. How long has it been since you’ve been riding?”
“Probably longer than you. I haven’t been since we left here.” She grinned. “So I might be complaining long before you.”
“How old were you when you left? I can’t remember.”
“Fourteen. And a very angry fourteen.” She paused as if thinking, so he waited, sensing she wanted to say more. “I was so upset that we had to leave,” she said finally. “I loved working on the ranch. I loved being there. It was my home.”
“That must have been distressing for you.”
“Yeah. It was. Starting a new school as a teenager in the city wasn’t conducive to a stellar academic showing. I wasn’t the most cooperative student.”
“Did you pass?”
She released a light laugh. “I barely passed junior high. Thankfully, in high school, I found a couple of teachers who were able to interest me in math and English. They helped me get my diploma.”
“Did you go to college or university?”
Sabine nodded. “I was a reluctant student, even with good teachers. But I did go on to college and got my CPA. But even when I was working, all I ever wanted to do was be back on the ranch.”
“And here you are.”
“Here I am.”
“What was your husband’s name?”
“Tim. Tim Roseveld.”
“You didn’t take his name?”
Sabine was quiet a moment, as if gathering her thoughts. “I actually changed my name back to Radowski. Two years after we were married.”
This was puzzling indeed, but he felt he would be intruding to ask more. So he stopped asking questions. No need finding out more about her life than he needed to know.
They rode in silence for a few more minutes. And with each step the horses took Tanner felt like his shoulders lowered, the muscles in his neck released some of their tension. Despite his momentary irritation that the deal with Jennings had been put on hold, this was good for him. A respite from the stress that had been dogging him ever since he had decided to sell the ranch.
“How many acres in this pasture?” Sabine asked as they came to another fence.
“This one is about a hundred and twenty. We mostly keep this for late summer. When the grass in the upper pasture gets chewed down some.”
“How many cow-calf pairs can you keep on this field and for how long?”
Tanner smiled at her question. The authority with which she spoke. “I’d have to go back and check our records. I can’t say offhand.”
“Will we be going through the hayfields as well?”
“Not on this trip. We’ll have to drive out to them. I wanted to ride this to check fences.”
