Don't Get It Twisted, page 25
“Got it,” Claire called back, and the whir of the tiny motor filled the air.
Haley retrieved the cooler and blankets she’d stashed in the backseat while the mattress inflated. Claire’s eyes stayed glued to her the whole time, watching as she nestled the cooler beside the makeshift bed and piled the linens on.
“Do you think you brought enough blankets?” Claire teased when Haley went back for a second round. Even with the sun setting and autumn whispering its approach on the evening breeze, the Oklahoma heat was ever present, a blanket of its own wrapped around them and charging the ions between them.
“It’ll cool off later,” Haley promised, hoping if she said it, it would make it true. She stripped off her tank top and used it to wipe the sweat from her forehead and the back of her neck, smiling as Claire’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of her in her sports bra. The tailgate creaked a little as she sat on it and motioned for Claire to join her. “I didn’t know what you would want, so I got everything,” she explained, opening the cooler so Claire could see for herself. “Sweet tea, lemonade, some salad thing the woman at the deli said was really good, sushi, chicken tenders, cheese and crackers, these little mini pies—”
Claire’s lips pressed into her’s mid-sentence, cutting Haley off before she rambled any longer, and they kissed until the birds chirped out their last songs before returning to the nest, until the sun disappeared below the horizon and the katydids began to wake up and call out their mating pleas in the tall grass, until Haley’s breaths were heavy and her chest was hot and all she could sense around her was Claire.
The sky had deepened to a rich midnight blue and twinkled to life with stars before they were able to pull apart from one another, and only long enough to eat a few bites to quiet their growling stomachs before crawling into the soft abyss of blankets Haley had created.
“Look up,” Haley urged Claire, cuddling into her shoulder. “It could be starting any minute.”
“What am I looking for?”
“Shooting stars. It’s the Perseids Meteor Shower. We missed the peak by a few days, but we should still be able to see some.”
They lay in silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts as they stared up at the sprawling sky. Haley would have given anything to know what Claire was thinking as they watched airplanes flickering across the starry backdrop. Did Claire wish she was on one of them, heading back to Boston to the noise and lights and parties and her friends? Could it even be possible for Haley to be enough?
“Look,” Claire said suddenly, pointing at the sky. “Was that one?”
“I missed it,” Haley said. As soon as the words left her mouth, another light flashed in the sky, burning for a millisecond before fading into nothing. “Nevermind,” she laughed as Claire gasped in awe. “Make a wish.”
“How am I supposed to do that when it feels like all my dreams are already coming true?” Claire asked, looking into Haley’s eyes.
“There has to be something,” Haley insisted. “You can’t waste a wish. And you can’t say it out loud.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s like birthday candles, I don’t make the rules.”
“But you don’t actually believe that. What’s the science behind it?”
“I figure it doesn’t hurt.” Haley tore her eyes off Claire to glance back up at the sky. “There’s still so much out there we still don’t understand, who’s to say there isn’t a little magic floating in it all?”
“Okay, fine. I have a wish. Don’t you think we should wait for another meteor, though? Maybe there’s a time limit on these things.”
“If your passion wasn’t journalism, you might have made a pretty good scientist,” Haley laughed, nuzzling Claire’s nose with her own. “Just make your wish.” She closed her eyes, hoping with every bit of her soul that the picnic under the stars with Claire was only the first of a lifetime more. And also that Claire won that prize she wanted, but that was probably stretching the one-wish limit. “Now we kiss to make sure they come true.”
“I never heard those rules,” Claire laughed.
“That’s because I just made it up.” Haley grinned. “But I figure it doesn’t hurt.”
Haley would never get bored of the taste of her or the sparks that ignited when their tongues met. Each time was like the first time, full of the promise of new exploration in a world they could discover together. Claire groaned into her mouth, shifting her thigh between Haley’s as she half-rolled on top of her.
“We can’t do this here,” Claire protested, even though she slipped her thumb under the band of Haley’s bra to stroke the skin under her breast.
“Who’s going to stop us?” Haley challenged, grinding down on Claire’s thigh.
“You’re crazy,” Claire laughed, her breath hot against Haley’s neck.
“In a good way?”
“I love it about you. You get me to do things I would have never done otherwise. You show me how to be bold.” Claire’s teeth nipped softly against Haley’s skin, raising goosebumps despite the heat.
Haley’s soft sighs were lost in the gentle breeze as her core began to clench. The pressure on her clit was making her forget everything around her, even as the sky lit up with the flash of another meteor in the distance. A low rumble jolted her back and she froze.
“What’s wrong?” Claire asked.
A gust of wind rustled the leaves, stronger than the breezes before. Haley fumbled for her phone, but it must have fallen out of her pocket. “I need to check the radar,” she mumbled, sitting up and feeling the bedding around her. “It wasn’t supposed to storm.”
“It still looks clear to me,” Claire mused, but she sat up to help Haley look.
“Didn’t you hear the thunder?” Haley’s fingers finally wrapped around cold plastic and she pulled her phone from the folds of the blankets.
No service.
Fuck. She was back in the same trap.
“No, I was a little distracted.” Claire’s voice sounded far away. “Are you sure—”
“I know what I heard,” Haley snapped as damp hair whipped across her face and stuck in her sweat. How could she have fucked up again? She cocked her head to listen to the wind for the telltale roar. “We need to go.”
Claire was looking at her with a strange expression. Hadn’t she heard? Didn’t she realize it was urgent?
“We need to go,” Haley repeated, trying to refresh the radar app again. Another rumble of thunder. Closer. “You heard it that time, right? We’re sitting ducks.” Her heart raced as she looked around the bed of the truck. There was too much to gather up and not enough time. “We need to get out of here.”
“We can go,” Claire said calmly, her voice cutting through the haze as she took Haley’s hand and helped her down from the truck. “I did hear it that time, but it sounded pretty far away to me.”
Why was Claire speaking to her like she didn’t know what she was talking about? Like Haley was a child instead of one of the most-watched weather personalities online? She didn’t need patronizing, she needed urgency. She needed to know Claire would be safe.
Haley’s fingers were numb as she gripped the door handle and yanked it open. She raised her knee to step up when she noticed the mud. Huge clumps of it, still stuck in the custom floor mats. She reached out to touch it, feeling the dirt crumble between her fingertips. It wasn’t quite red or gray or brown, but a dusty color in between all of them. She shuddered. It had taken three washes to get it all out of her hair, but she would never get it out of her memories.
“Haley?” Claire’s voice was soft behind her. “I think I got everything packed up. Do you want me to drive?”
It was probably a good idea. The blackness was closing in on the corners of Haley’s vision, and she didn’t trust herself to be able to keep them on the road anymore. She passed the keys wordlessly to Claire with trembling hands.
Useless. That’s what that damn South Dakota mud had made her. Fucking useless. She climbed in the passenger seat, blinking back tears of panic, anger, and embarrassment. Claire put the truck in gear as Haley stared at the dirt on her fingers, wondering if she would ever be normal again.
“I don’t know what to do,” Claire’s voice still sounded distant and the words were jumbled like they’d been rattled through the tin can telephones Haley’s grandfather showed her how to make as a kid. “I’m putting you on speaker. Can you talk to her?”
Talk to who? Haley shook her head. The lump in her throat was too big, pressing against her windpipe every time she remembered to breathe. Talking was too much.
“Hey, Haley,” Noah said in the same condescending kid-voice Claire had been using. “I’ve got the radar pulled up and the closest storm that looks even remotely interesting is in Saskatchewan. Looks like it was just some scattered showers that popped up. You’re okay.”
He hadn’t been there. He hadn’t felt the pressure drop or the burn of ozone in his nostrils or how the wind gusted and made the hairs stand up on her arms. Who was he to tell her if she was okay or not? “Shut up, Noah,” she croaked out. He didn’t know anything. He hadn’t been there.
There was a long pause, then a sigh. “Take care of yourself,” he said before the line went dead.
The lights of the Tulsa suburbs came into view as Haley stared numbly into the distance. The danger wasn’t real. It never had been. But the way she’d reacted was. And she’d embarrassed herself, and ruined the date with Claire, and now she was curled up in the passenger seat while the woman she loved more than life itself was probably planning how to get as far away from her as possible.
“I’m sorry,” Haley whispered. Her mouth was dry and her voice so raspy she wasn’t sure if Claire could even hear her.
“You don’t need to be,” Claire said. “I understand.”
“I thought it would get better. You know, with time.”
“It doesn’t always work like that.”
Haley took a shuddering breath. “I hate this. I don’t even remember who I used to be.”
“I think you’re being too hard on yourself. It was only a couple months ago.”
“I think I should go to therapy.”
Claire’s eyebrows raised slightly and the corner of her mouth twitched into a half-smile as if she was fighting the urge to say ‘I told you so.’ “I think that’s a great idea,” she said instead.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Claire smiled when Haley walked through the door. Even with puffy eyes and a red nose that said her first therapy session had involved a lot of crying, Haley was the most beautiful woman Claire had ever seen.
“What are you cooking?” Haley asked, her eyes lighting up when she noticed Claire in the kitchen. “It smells good.”
“Spaghetti with no onions,” Claire said, stirring the sauce before replacing the lid and going to greet Haley. “But onion powder is fine, right?”
“Yeah, it’s just the texture that bothers me.” Haley took off her boots and joined Claire in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. “So are you going to ask me how it went?”
“I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to. I don’t want to pry.” Claire dumped half a package of pasta into the water she’d been holding at a boil until Haley got home. “Did you like her?”
“She seems nice. I had about three breakdowns just telling her why I was there. But it doesn’t seem like she thinks I’m too broken to fix.”
“I don’t think that was ever in question.”
“But I think I do feel better. Like, maybe I should have done that a long time ago. Before the acc—” Haley’s voice hitched on the last word and she looked down at her feet. “You know, I should probably shower before dinner. Do I have time?”
“Ten minutes or so,” Claire replied, checking the clock.
“I’ll just wait until after, then. Those clean?” Haley pointed at the dishwasher.
Claire nodded, listening to Haley chatter about her day and the TV show they’d just started watching, almost as though she was streaming. Claire was more than content to be her audience. Her interview that morning had been emotionally draining, and Haley’s rambling was like a warm shower of inconsequential thought to wash the heaviness away. Maybe she needed it, too.
“It’s still summer, we have plenty of time to decide,” she interjected when Haley began to ponder whether they should go to Iowa for Thanksgiving. Going to Iowa meant meeting Haley’s family, and that was a step Claire wasn’t sure she was ready to take.
“It’s already September—oh, that reminds me! Noah texted me while I was at my therapy session, he’s having a Labor Day thing up at his family’s lake house this weekend and I was thinking maybe we should go.”
“Is your ex going to be there?”
“Ash? Definitely not, they’re on the other side of the country. This is more of a chaser thing, end-of-the-season party. Drinking, wakeboarding, that kinda thing.”
“And it’s at a lake house?” Claire asked, draining the pasta. Rich people things.
Haley nodded. “I think it’s his dad’s? Or his uncle’s? I don’t actually know; the whole family uses it.”
“Where is it?”
“A few hours away. Can I do anything else to help?”
“Grab plates and silverware and whatever you want to drink. It sounds fun. I think we should go.” Claire piled spaghetti on the plates Haley set on the breakfast bar and ladled sauce on top, then walked around to join her on the other side of the counter.
She’d known that Haley was guarded going in, and she’d expected it would take time for Haley to really let down her walls and fully invite Claire into her life, especially after Claire had damaged her trust before. And she was really trying not to be resentful that Haley kept their relationship so closed off, even though it hurt that Haley insisted on going to all her appointments alone and driving all the way out to random fields to kiss her. So maybe the lake house party was a new step forward in their relationship.
“This is good,” Haley said, echoing Claire’s thoughts. No, wait, she was talking about the spaghetti.
“It’s just jarred sauce, nothing special.”
“It’s always special when you cook for me. So we’re going to the lake?” Haley asked between mouthfuls of pasta. “I’ll let Noah know so he can give us one of the good rooms. Oh, and there’s a hot tub. You have a swimsuit, right?”
“In one of these boxes.”
“Well, we can just get you a new one. And I guess…” Haley set her fork down and stared at her half-eaten plate as if it held all the answers to a question that hadn’t been spoken. “I guess I need to buy a new car.”
“We could rent one,” Claire suggested. “Three days isn’t much time to make a decision.”
“No,” Haley said, picking her fork back up and pushing spaghetti around on her plate. “I need to. We can’t keep using rideshares and borrowing Noah’s cars any time we need to get somewhere. It’s time.” Her voice wavered a little, then she smiled ruefully. “The insurance check isn’t going to spend itself.”
“Don’t force it, though. If you don’t find one you like, don’t settle just for this trip.”
“I know what I’m getting.” Haley looked at Claire with a resoluteness that said it was settled.
The next day, Haley left early and returned around lunchtime, a pair of new keyfobs dangling from her fingers as she called Claire to follow her outside. A new station wagon sat in their designated carport, forest green with dark plastic cladding and shiny black tires. As she got closer, Claire realized it was the exact same make and model Haley had owned before and suddenly all she could see were photos of Haley’s mangled car in the field. She looked at Haley in surprise.
“They had a white one, but this felt better.” Haley said as if that was an explanation. “Green for growth or whatever, right?”
“Is this really what you want?” Claire asked. It didn’t seem like a good idea to have a constant reminder of the accident around, but what did she know?
“It saved my life once before. How could I trust anything else?” Haley ran a hand over the smooth, undented frame around the driver’s door. “Like seeing an old friend again. But also new.” Her eyes were wet when she smiled at Claire. “Like us.”
***
“So who all is going to be there?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t ask Noah for the guest list. The twins, probably. Last year Jake brought his whole family. Mike Webster lives in that area so he’ll probably show up.” Haley’s tone was clipped and Claire could see she was gripping the steering wheel harder than necessary.
“Want me to take over driving for a while?” Claire offered.
“We’re almost there.”
Claire resisted the urge to ask her if everything was okay again, knowing the answer would be the same, tense ‘fine’ she’d gotten back the other three times she’d asked that morning. Something was bothering Haley, but Claire didn’t know if it was something she had done or if there was something else… ah, fuck it.
“Everything okay?” Claire asked. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“I think it’s just the new car smell giving me a headache.” Haley cracked her window. “I’ll be okay when we get there. I just haven’t seen anyone since…” Her knuckles turned even whiter on the steering wheel. “There will be a lot of phones out. People will be posting.”
“We can go home.”
“No, I want to go. I think it will be good, like a soft relaunch away from my channel. People can stop the conspiracies that I died. This is it.” Haley slowed and turned down a long gravel drive with an enormous A-frame log cabin at the end of it.
“Damn,” Claire muttered. It was bigger than she had expected. And there were already more cars parked in the driveway than she’d expected, too. Haley parked next to Noah’s truck, which was easy to recognize, but there were a half dozen more beside it, each outfitted with lights and radio antennas and cameras and stickers with social media handles.
