Don't Get It Twisted, page 23
She should have been live. Her audience was counting on her for situations exactly like that, and she was relaxing in reclusion. Guilt ate at her from the inside. She was failing them. And what was Noah doing? He hadn’t mentioned the tornadoes at all, even though he was basically right between them. In fact, she hadn’t even heard sirens in the background of his stream or from the weather alert systems she knew he had in his car and on his phone. Unless local communications were down from the hurricane. Which meant even though she could see the warning outlined clear as day, he might not even notice it if he wasn’t keeping an eye on the radar while he engaged in his flood water fun and games. But there was one thing she knew he would see.
At least one tornado likely on the ground, she typed into the chat window. Radar indicated. Big CC drop. Seek cover in the area.
The reaction from his viewers was instantaneous and overwhelming.
Hi Haley!
Haley!!
Is that really her?
OMG Haley
She’s alive
It’s her, she has a checkmark and it links to her channel
Haley, are you coming back?
Haley hid the chat window. It was too much.
“Hey, Haley.” Even though his face wasn’t visible on screen, she could hear he was smiling. The view on his livestream changed to radar. “Oh, yeah, I see the warning here. Looks like two tornadoes on radar, with a potential third about to drop? We could be looking at a pretty major outbreak this morning, folks. If you’re anywhere in east Texas, make sure you’re staying weather aware. Have a plan to get alerts even if you lose power.”
Her phone vibrated with a text from Noah. You’re up early. Going live?
She should. It would be as easy as turning on the camera and pulling up the radar screen. He had been out all night and needed a break. The people needed someone to keep them updated, someone away from the storm with reliable access to communications in case anything else went down. She had made a promise to be there for them when the risk of severe weather was high, and she was failing them. All the excuses she could come up with—like needing to shower and put on makeup—were flimsy at best, and yet she couldn’t. Something was blocking her from flipping on the studio lights and streaming camera and sharing her screen and presenting to a world that had last seen her at her lowest.
No, she answered Noah, offering no explanation at all. He wouldn’t understand, no matter what she said. No one could.
Who was she, if she couldn’t help people? A fraud. An influencer. Exactly what the article had claimed her to be. Hot tears leaked from the inner corners of her eyes. People would kill to be in her position. She had been given every head start, every advantage, and she had still come out a failure.
The radar reloaded and Haley watched helplessly as the main tornado intensified. How much blood would be on her hands when the day was done because she had been too busy sitting on them and indulging herself? How many homes would be broken, lives shattered because they missed her warning? The guilt finally became too much to bear and she closed the stream, shut down her laptop, and sobbed. Her collarbone throbbed as she reached too far for a tissue, another cruel reminder of how useless she was.
“Haley?” Claire’s voice came from the office door, first inquisitive, then frantic as her footsteps pounded across the floor. “Oh my God, Haley! What’s wrong? Are you in pain? What are you doing out here? I was looking for you everywhere.”
“I don’t know,” Haley sniffled. It was a good enough answer to all of Claire’s questions. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Claire said, kneeling down to look Haley in the eyes and resting her warm hands softly on Haley’s knees. “Nothing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Did you read something? Who do I need to fight?”
“It’s not that.” Haley shook her head as she took a shuddering breath, trying to settle the tempest of thoughts swirling in her head. She reached for Claire’s hand, grounding herself in the warm safety of Claire’s grasp before voicing the thing that scared her most. “What if I can’t ever do it again?”
“Storm chasing, you mean?”
“And streaming.”
“Then you’ll do something else incredible with your life because you are the most incredible person I’ve ever met.” Claire sounded so confident, so sure of Haley’s potential, that Haley almost believed her.
“I don’t have anything else.”
“You have me. And I believe in you. You’re one of the smartest, most incredible people I’ve ever met, and you can do anything you want to. Whether that’s weather-related or not.” Claire squeezed Haley’s hand. “How long have you been up?”
“A few hours. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Are you ready to come inside? I’ll make you breakfast,” Claire offered.
Haley glanced at the hard drive, still plugged into the laptop. It didn’t seem as urgent when Claire was there. The guilt that clenched her stomach and the fear that clawed at her throat had faded into afterthoughts, driven out of the suffocating room by Claire’s warm, steady hands. “Breakfast sounds nice.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Claire was used to being the bad idea in relationships, so dating one was new territory. And she knew Haley was a bad idea, fleeting and tempestuous like the storms she chased and certain to leave nothing but ruin behind. Girls like her always were. And Claire wasn’t even sure that they were dating or in a relationship, but she couldn’t imagine how else she would define the easy companionship that had blossomed between her and Haley in Noah’s absence.
She was certain she wanted to be in a relationship with Haley, though—along with whatever turmoil that brought to her life. It had become impossible to imagine any other option but to spend her days by Haley’s side, laughing at all her jokes and holding her through her worst fears. She had become addicted to the warmth that flooded her body whenever Haley’s gaze lingered on her, which it did often. The paper didn’t matter. Boston didn’t matter. Everything revolved around her, and Claire wouldn’t have it any other way. Her true purpose in life had been revealed, and it was simply to make Haley smile.
To make her laugh.
To make her come.
Well, in four to six more weeks, at least. Claire sighed. Haley seemed to enjoy watching her, and Claire was happy to oblige, but what she really longed for was to feel Haley’s thighs clenching around her face as she screamed in pleasure. But Claire could be patient. The most important thing was for Haley to heal first, physically and emotionally.
The physical part seemed to be going better than the emotional part, even if Haley was too stubborn to admit it. She seemed to have a little more energy every day, and she was relying less on the pain medication, but Claire could tell she still wasn’t sleeping well and she would disappear into the office for hours at a time, emerging with puffy eyes and insistences that she was fine. Claire didn’t know how she was supposed to leave her, but she suspected begging for another remote work extension from Whitney would be futile. Noah would be back from his hurricane adventure in a few hours and there would be no need for Claire to stick around anymore, except for her own heart.
She stared at the blank screen of the article she was supposed to be writing at her uncomfortable makeshift desk at one end of the kitchen island, cursing herself for letting all the distractions creep in. If she didn’t get her work done, she wouldn’t have a job to worry about, anyway. She wouldn’t have to go back and face Carl with hatred that had only been fortified since she laid eyes on Haley again. In a way, it was all his fault, and if she never saw his face again it would still be eons too soon.
I’m Quitting, she typed at the top of the empty page, where her headline should have been. It felt good. She hit backspace until the bold letters disappeared. And then what? She could try to make it as a freelancer, where the pay was even lower and she’d be moving further from her dream. She could start applying to large online publications without central offices, but that would take forever. Or look for a position in Tulsa, which felt even more implausible in the timeframe she needed it to happen.
Her apartment. Her and Tobey’s little home for years, with the historic brick walls and rent she could afford. Was she really ready to give that up for Haley and Tulsa and everything that came with it? Before Haley had even asked?
“What are you working on?” Haley asked, making Claire jump.
“Soccer article,” Claire explained, glad that Haley hadn’t seen what was actually on her screen.
“Looks like it’s going well.” Haley’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she leaned over Claire’s shoulder.
“Not really.” Claire turned to face her, grabbing her around the waist. “You look pretty.”
“Doubt it,” Haley scoffed, her eyes glittering with the amber reflection of the warm pendant lights. Her hair cascaded in soft waves around her face that smelled like coconut and fresh summer breezes and Claire had to stop herself from silencing her self-conscious denials with a kiss.
“Haley?” Claire asked, before she got too lost in Haley’s smile. “What are we?”
“What do you want us to be?”
“Dating. I want to tell people I have a girlfriend and for it to be true.”
“Okay,” Haley agreed with an easy smile. “Then we’re dating.”
“That easy?” Claire asked.
“What about any of this has been easy?” Haley asked with a wry smile.
“You’re right,” said Claire. It was easy to forget when Haley was so close, her body warm and soft under Claire’s palms. But getting there had been hard. “I don’t want to go back to Boston. Not without you.”
The first flicker of hesitation crossed Haley’s face. “I don’t know about Boston… I guess in winter it might be okay, but I really need to be closer to here.”
“I know,” Claire shushed her. “I didn’t expect you would want to move there, anyway. I don’t even think I want to be there anymore.”
“So stay.” Haley finally said the words Claire had been hoping to hear.
“But what about the hurricanes in the southeast? And blizzards up north? I know you never planned to stay in Tulsa, either.”
“I never had a reason to. It never felt like home.” Haley sighed. “I’m tired of running. I want to put down roots. I want to own more than what fits in a few boxes. I want to hang art on my walls and blast music from the speakers and two-step in my kitchen, but only if you’re there with me.”
“Don’t you think we’re moving too fast?” Claire felt breathless, caught up in the rush of it all while waiting for real life to come crashing down.
“What’s the alternative?” Haley asked. “You go back to Boston and we video call every night and cry about how much we miss each other and how long it’s going to be until we see each other again? That is, if your plane doesn’t crash flying back or the train you take home doesn’t derail or a tornado doesn’t come for me to finish what the last one couldn’t, right?”
“I mean, let’s hope that doesn’t happen,” Claire chuckled nervously.
“But it could,” Haley insisted. “It almost did already. I don’t want to waste any more time. If we’re going to be together, we should actually be together.” Then she kissed Claire like she was drowning and Claire was the only one who could give her air as they plunged into the depths together.
And Claire was in no position to argue with that.
***
Her diploma was the last thing she removed from the wall as she packed up her apartment three weeks later. Couldn’t forget her expensive piece of paper, the one she was still paying for and would be for decades, the one she had worked so hard for. All Claire could do was hope it wasn’t going to go to waste for promises she’d made at her most pliable.
Her resignation had been tendered to well wishes and promises of good recommendations from Whitney, which was probably more than Claire deserved. She had three solid articles ready to try to sell once she landed in Tulsa, but otherwise she was stepping into the unemployed unknown.
“That the last one?” The movers Noah had hired gestured to the cardboard box at Claire’s feet.
“That’s it,” she confirmed. It had taken a lot to swallow her pride and ask him for the loan that was making her cross-country move possible, but it was easier than asking the same thing of Haley. She didn’t want Haley to feel like Claire was only with her for the money, when that was far from the case.
She flipped the lights in the empty studio off one last time, silently bidding her apartment farewell. All of her things were in a truck bound for Tulsa, and her flight to follow it was just a few hours away. Her friends thought she was crazy, and she couldn’t blame them, but everything about it felt right.
Except the ridiculous condo Haley had chosen to rent after Claire talked her down from buying one, proposing maybe they wait a year to make sure they were right for each other and Tulsa was right for them before making any drastic decisions. The condo had been their compromise and their first fight, well out of the range of what Claire could comfortably afford on her savings and predicted freelance income but with all the amenities Haley insisted they needed to have.
Claire didn’t love that they were only three blocks from Noah’s house, either, but she supposed it made sense, especially since Haley hadn’t replaced her car yet even though she had mentioned the insurance check had come through. Nor had Haley posted anything on social media yet even though she insisted she was ready to start working again and that was why she needed to be near the office. And Claire had given in to all of it, because it was what Haley deserved. And Haley was paying for it, so Claire didn’t really have a say.
None of it would matter when the flight landed and she had Haley in her arms again. Claire knew it was just the distance sparking the old jealous feelings deep within her again. Everything would be better when she was with Haley, alone, building their relationship together without any more outside interference or obstacles. That was what she had been waiting for.
Haley was waiting for her at the airport, barely recognizable with her face hidden behind large sunglasses under the brim of her cap. Her arm was still cradled in the blue hospital sling, but otherwise she looked back to her old self, vibrant and confident as her face broke into a grin and Claire’s heart melted. What had there been to doubt? She was exactly where she belonged.
“Where’s Noah?” Claire asked after they hugged gingerly, assuming he had driven Haley to pick her up.
“Who cares?” Haley laughed and it was the most beautiful sound Claire had ever heard. “Today is about us. I took a cab. He should still be waiting, do you have bags to grab?”
“All in the moving truck,” Claire said, reaching for Haley’s free hand. “Let’s go home.” It was a glorious late summer day in Tulsa, but Claire didn’t notice. She only had eyes for Haley as they pushed through the revolving doors and out to their waiting taxi.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“I’m back,” Haley called out to Claire as she walked into the condo that was finally starting to feel like her first real home in a long time. Tobey ran to greet her first, almost tripping her as she stepped out of her boots and placed them on the shoe rack by the front door that she and Claire had picked out together. The rapid clicking of Claire’s keyboard echoing down the still-undecorated stairwell said Claire would probably be immersed in her work for a while.
Haley resisted the urge to interrupt her with good news and leaned down to scratch Tobey between the ears instead. He flopped down to roll on the fluffy, faux-fur area rug that Claire had declared impractical even as her finger hovered over the button to order it.
“That’s a lot of money for something that will get covered in dirt and cat hair.”
“If you like it, get it,” Haley had insisted.
Correctly, if Tobey’s happiness was anything to go by. It was becoming a familiar refrain, one that she noticed Claire resisting more often than not. And while Haley appreciated Claire’s frugality, she still didn’t know how to tell Claire it wasn’t necessary without stepping on her pride. But that was fine, Haley could compromise on getting cheap bath towels if it meant she got to keep Claire.
Before Claire, she’d thought the only way to feel safe was to hide behind Noah’s brawn and his gun. The only way to survive was to run and keep running and never look back. But Claire was teaching her there was safety in softness, safety in having a place to call home. The art leaning against the walls still waiting to be hung was a promise of stability, that Claire herself planned on hanging around long enough to commit to nails in the walls. Haley smiled to herself. They would do it that evening, as soon as Claire was done working for the day.
“Hey,” Claire said from the top of the beige-carpeted stairs. “I didn’t hear you come home.”
“I figured.” Haley walked up the first few steps, then stopped herself. “Are you still busy?”
“Ugh, no, I’m stuck and need a distraction. How was the doctor?”
“It was good,” Haley smiled mischievously as she climbed the next few stairs. “Notice anything different?”
Claire glanced down, her eyes lingering on Haley’s body for a moment before widening in realization. “Your sling’s gone,” she said. “Is the pain gone, too?”
“Mostly. Gone enough that I can do this.” Haley raised her arm over her head to demonstrate her newly regained mobility as she ascended the final few steps and found herself face to face with Claire. “But that’s not even the best thing the doctor said.” Haley couldn’t hide her grin as she glanced towards their bedroom.
“Oh?” Claire’s eyebrows shot up and she licked her lips slowly, looking like she was a cat about to pounce and Haley was her prey. “What else did the doctor say?”
“He said I’m allowed to drive again.” Haley took as step back as Claire reached for her, dancing just out of her grasp.
