Don't Get It Twisted, page 10
Did anyone see Reddit?
Welcome to Texas, Haley!
How old is Haley?
Gorgeous as always
Will we see a tornado today?
“Twenty-six, and we won’t today in Texas. Colorado might though. You can check the radar app to see which chasers are out there today.”
GPS told her there was a Taco Bell a few miles down the road, so she set off that way, the thought of a beef burrito making her stomach gurgle in anticipation. She cruised in the left lane, passing semi after semi as she pondered whether she should get extra meat on one burrito or if she should just order two when something strange caught her attention.
The tiny ticker that displayed the number of people watching her stream was going up fast, so fast that Haley’s first thought was that the app was glitching. But as the number of viewers increased, so did the messages surging into her chat. It was perplexing, and she wondered if somehow she had been pushed onto the recommended page by accident, even though nothing particularly exciting was happening on stream. It took all of her willpower to keep her eyes on the road and not what her chat was saying. Her phone buzzed in her lap– Noah. She sent him to voicemail. Three agonizing minutes of wondering what was happening later, she pulled into the parking lot at Taco Bell and examined the screen.
Who else is here from Reddit?
I don’t think it was her.
Has she said anything yet?
It was definitely her
What about Noah tho?
Why is this chick trending?
No, Haley hasn’t said anything yet
If it wasn’t her, it sure looks like her
You guys have no life, who cares?
Poor Noah
“Wow, there’s a lot of people here, what is going on?” Haley asked, forcing herself to laugh even though she was dreading the answer. “I have no idea what you guys are talking about, someone fill me in.”
The chat responses were too quick and too disjointed for her to make sense of what they were saying, with multiple mentions of a Reddit post, a picture, and cheating on Noah. Haley felt like she was going to be sick. Her phone vibrated again and she answered numbly. Hopefully he could fill her in.
“Hi, Noah,” she said cheerfully, knowing almost twenty thousand people were listening.
“Hey, I’m headed to the carwash,” he replied, his tone equally casual. “Where are you?”
“Just rolled up to Taco Bell,” Haley said, and muted her stream. Since they were both usually streaming when they talked on the phone, they were used to having conversations in public, and ‘carwash’ was their code word to let the other know they needed to say something without the world listening. “Noah, please tell me you know what the fuck is going on and why I have thirty-three thousand people tuned in for blue skies.”
“Were you out with Claire last night?”
“Yeah, we went out for, like, a goodbye celebration thing before she flew out.”
“Well, don’t go look, but it’s on Reddit.”
Fuck. Haley was already putting him on speakerphone, her hands shaking as she pulled up the app.
“I’m serious, Haley, don’t go read the comments.”
“I need to know what they’re saying. Chat is going insane over it.” She typed her name into the search bar and sorted by recent. The top post was of a picture of her and Claire, arms wrapped around each other on the dance floor from the night before. A tiny wave of relief washed over Haley; at least the kiss hadn’t been caught on camera, but the consolation was short-lived. “No one ever came up to me. I didn’t think anyone recognized me,” she whispered as the reality set in. She had been careless and stupid because Claire made her forget who she was. Claire made everything in her abnormal life feel normal.
Claire. Had she seen the post yet? Her face was turned away from the camera, there was no way anyone except Noah should be able to figure out her identity, but it still didn’t seem fair to have such a carefree, intimate moment posted for the consumption of everyone. And the bombardment in chat wasn’t easing up.
Oh shit, is she talking to Noah?
Haley you’re muted
We can’t hear
Maybe she muted on purpose
Maybe they’re fighting
Do you think we’re witnessing a breakup live, guys?
Unmute!
Can’t hear anything
OMG this is better than a tornado
Is the photo real? I don’t want my kids watching homo shit.
Haley deleted the last message as soon as it popped up and banned the user who posted it. Of course this would happen on the one streaming day she told her chat moderators would be lowkey enough for them to take off. Even though it was erased from her chat log, the hateful comment was seared in her memory. She’d experienced homophobia secondhand via Ash, but this was the first time it had been directed at her. It stung more than the typical hate comments, more than she could’ve imagined. Hot tears pricked at her eyes.
“Haley?” Noah sounded worried.
“I’m here,” she said softly. “What do I do now?”
“Take a deep breath, close Reddit, deny it was you, and never address it again.”
“It’s obviously me, though.”
“Only because you know you were there, so just tell them you were with me. It’s dark and you can only see half your face. Don’t make it a big deal and it won’t be.”
“Ugh, okay.”
“Do you want me to hop on and mod for a while? I’m not leaving for another hour or so.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Noah. Seriously, I owe you.”
“It’s fine. Get me a six pack next time you’re around if it makes you feel better, but seriously, you’re fine.”
Haley thanked him again, then hung up and unmuted the mic. She hesitated a moment. Lying left a bitter taste in her mouth, but Noah was right. It was the best thing to do, given the circumstances.
“Sorry, guys, didn’t realize I muted you while I was trying to put Noah on speakerphone,” she said nonchalantly. “I’m back now, and yes, I’ve finally seen the Reddit post, and it isn’t me.” She forced herself to laugh. “Crazy how much she looks like me, though. But Noah and I stayed in last night.”
She’s lying, it looks exactly like her
Wait, did she just confirm she and Noah are official?
What did I miss?
See, I knew it wasn’t her! The nose is totally different, you all are dumb
The number of viewers still watching the stream was dropping rapidly, and chat was starting to die down again. Haley took another deep breath, being careful not to exhale loudly enough that the remaining watchers would notice, and put the car in drive. Her appetite was gone, but she needed to keep up appearances, so she ordered two burritos and set them in the seat beside her. Leaving the drive-through, she launched into a detailed explanation of the one thing she could talk about for hours without thinking, mesocyclone formation.
The burritos were ice cold from sitting in the path of the air conditioning vent by the time Haley pulled into the motel in Odessa. She glanced around the parking lot, taking careful note of the cars that were already parked there. There were a handful of children splashing in the gated pool while their parents drank beers and watched, but otherwise almost no one was around and nothing seemed amiss. Haley tucked her brain under her baseball cap and put on a pair of sunglasses that covered half her face before going to the front desk to check in.
It was easier when she knew Noah was with her, just one room over and close enough to rush to her aid with his brawn and the gun she had only seen once but knew he always had on him. The Reddit post had been a stark reminder of how careful she had to be, that someone was always watching, and for the second time that day, Haley felt the ache of being alone.
She hadn’t had time to process it, not really, not when she was focused on maintaining normalcy for the benefit of her chat. But once she was by herself in the motel room with all the mics and cameras turned off and the security latch triple-checked, the dam of emotion began to crack.
It was unfair. Noah flirted with thousands of women and had slept with at least a dozen that she knew of, but no one had ever accused him of cheating on their fake relationship. The double standard was infuriating. Even more infuriating was the comment that was eating away at her from her core, as much as she tried not to think about it. Haley thought she was immune to hate comments, but getting it just for being happy dancing with a woman was different, worse. It wasn’t hate born out of boredom or jealousy or incel lust like she usually received, it was hate for hate’s sake. Hate simply because they perceived her to be different, less than.
And for what?
Because she put her hand in another woman’s and spun her around on the dancefloor for an hour? They would eat her alive if they knew what she really felt and the questions that burned inside. Haley swallowed back a sob, but it refused to be contained and broke free in a wail muffled by the thin motel pillow. It wasn’t fair.
Chapter Fifteen
Claire cracked open her second Red Bull of the day, disgusted at how much she actually found herself liking the stuff. But it was only because she needed it. She had been up all night, working through her red-eye flight and getting three hours of sleep before dragging herself into the office, and coffee wasn’t cutting it. But three drafts later, her story was finished. Not only was it done, it was hands down, without a doubt, the best thing Claire had ever written.
Her final deadline wasn’t until early June—still a few weeks away— but Claire needed to write while all the details were still fresh in her memory and she was eager to submit it to Whitney for feedback, which she was sure would be glowing. How could it not be, when her subject made it so easy?
No notes, she imagined Whitney saying. This is perfect. And then she could get out of the office early and hopefully tune in to Haley’s stream before it ended. Ever since the alert had popped up on her phone that Haley was live, it was all Claire could think about. But maybe she could sneak down to the breakroom for a few minutes and check in. Claire just wanted to hear her voice again.
Yes, that’s exactly what she would do. She sent the draft over to Whitney and went to see if the snacks had been restocked with something better than lightly salted peanuts.
“So, how did it go in Oklahoma?” The voice behind her made her flinch as she refilled her water bottle.
Damn it. Not Carl. What was he even doing there? Claire had been under the impression that Whitney was going to fire him while she was gone.
“Hi, Carl,” she said, turning slowly enough to summon every ounce of the professional willpower she needed to not punch him in the face on Haley’s behalf. “It went well, I think. Lots of good stuff for the article.”
“I just wanted to let you know I’d be happy to help you compile your notes, or proofread if you need it. I know this is your first big byline, and we all want to see you succeed.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” she spat out, knowing he was the last person in the newsroom she would ever go to for help. Especially not for this.
“I’m serious, I did some more research into her background while you were gone, and I think—” No one cared what he thought.
“Thanks, Carl, but I have to get back to it,” Claire said, holding up her full water bottle as an excuse and scurrying out of the breakroom.
She checked her phone on the way back to her desk and realized Haley’s stream had ended thirty minutes earlier, anyway. Right as she sat down, her computer pinged with a new email. Whitney, responding to her draft already. That was fast, but not unexpected.
C– The writing is solid, but it reads like an infatuated thirteen year old writing a love letter to their first crush. I didn’t get past the first paragraph. I expect better. Start again tomorrow.
***
The editor’s blunt rejection didn’t sting as much when Claire was surrounded by friends and a few drinks deep at drag trivia later that night. The bar was packed with familiar faces, including two of Claire’s exes, who had apparently started dating each other at some point in the past few months. She gave them a friendly nod and a wide berth as she returned to her table with more shots. For better or for worse, they deserved each other, and she hoped they were happy for the three weeks she was sure it would last.
“Which US soccer star featured in a photograph called ‘the most iconic photo ever taken of a female athlete’ by the New York Times?” asked Madam Vicky Pedia, the queen hosting the trivia night.
“Ugh, thank God you’re back from Arkansas,” Danny said. “I’m pretty sure we missed every sports question last week.”
“No, we got Johnny Weir,” Marco corrected his husband. “I could never forget Johnny Weir.”
“Okay, so we missed nine sports questions last week. And came in second to last place.”
“Ten seconds left to answer,” Vicky Pedia announced.
“It’s Brandi Chastain,” Claire said. “And I was in Oklahoma, Kansas and Nebraska. But not Arkansas.”
“They’re all the same though, right?”
No, they weren’t all the same, because only Oklahoma had Haley, except when she was in Texas or Missouri or Iowa. Okay, maybe Danny had a point.
“Alright everyone, bring your answer sheets for this round up to be scored. Round three starts in five minutes, so go to the bathroom, go hit your vapes, whatever you need to do and we’ll be right back!” Vicky Pedia tossed her hair and sashayed off the stage as loud pop music filled the bar.
Claire checked her phone to see if Haley had texted. Of course, she hadn’t. Why would she? The interview was over and they were fifteen hundred miles apart. Claire was sure she would never hear from Haley Hunter again.
“That’s like the third time you’ve been on your phone tonight,” Marco said. “Who are you waiting on?”
“No one,” Claire lied. “Just checking the time.”
“Girl. You are a terrible liar. So spill.”
Suddenly, Claire wanted to talk about, to release the guilt and giddiness she’d kept pent up since she got back. “I kissed someone I shouldn’t have. Actually, she kissed me, but I didn’t stop her. And now I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“Not the weather girl?” Danny put a hand over his mouth, as if he was scandalized by the very idea.
Claire shrugged mysteriously. “Maybe.”
“Just text her then,” Marco suggested.
“First, that would cross a professional boundary I really shouldn’t, at least not until the article is published. And second, what’s the point? She’s there and I’m here.” And Sacramento was even further from Tulsa, she’d already checked. But Danny and Marco didn’t even know she was thinking about leaving Boston yet, and she wasn’t ready to bring it up.
“At least show us a picture of her,” Danny pleaded.
Claire obliged, pulling up Haley’s Instagram and passing her phone over to them.
“She looks straight,” Danny said, wrinkling his nose.
“I think she’s bi. Or pan. I don’t know, we didn’t get that far.” They’d gone too far, and still not far enough at all. Not even close. “Besides, you can’t judge based on appearances and it doesn’t matter because I’m probably never going to see her again.”
“But you want to.”
Claire shrugged. Of course she wanted to, but she’d always been the type to want what she couldn’t have. Danny and Marco had both seen it from her before.
“So just text her. Wait until the article is published or whatever so there’s no conflict of interest if it makes you feel better, but life is too short not to try if you’re feeling it.”
“One minute warning for round three, asses back in your seats, and yes, Leon, darling, laps count as seats.” Vicky returned to the podium, calling out a guy making out with his boyfriend at a table near the stage and giving Claire an out from the conversation. “Get your pencils ready, because the theme for this round is Gay Icons. Sadly, they wouldn’t let me put myself as an answer. Question one: Who was the first openly gay elected official in the United States?”
***
It was almost midnight when Claire got home. They’d come in fifth place, which wasn’t terrible, but she’d missed some easy questions because her mind was fifteen hundred miles away. Tobey wove figure eights around her feet as she prepared his dinner, meowing in reprobation that she was late.
“Sorry, bud,” Claire said, spooning his wet food onto a thrifted tea saucer because he refused to eat from a bowl. He was a hefty tuxedo cat who had worn the same judgemental glare since she’d found him in the alley as a kitten, and even though he hissed at any dates she brought back to her South End studio, she loved him more than any other being on the planet.
Unable to hide from her thoughts any longer, Whitney’s comments on the article began to sink in. She knew she should just go to bed and look at it with fresh eyes after a night of real sleep, not the dozing and waking fits between bouts of manic writing she’d suffered on the plane the night before, but she also knew sleep wouldn’t come until she figured out what Whitney was talking about and how to fix it. She pulled out her laptop and began to reread the draft.
Having eaten his fill—which really wasn’t much compared to the fit he had pitched—Tobey curled up on the sofa beside Claire. She stroked him absentmindedly as she read, the words plummeting her right back into the week she’d spent with Haley that already felt like an eternity ago. The loneliness was surprising as it crept in, though it wasn’t the absence of her friends that Claire missed. It was Haley, and once Claire was alone with her thoughts, every one revolved around her.
A siren cut through the relative quiet of night in the city, echoing the wail her heart was crying to hear Haley’s throaty chuckle again, and the way Claire’s name sounded coming from her lips. Lips that had been attached to hers just forty-eight hours earlier. Claire picked up her phone.
No, that was a bad idea.
It was too late. Too casual. An email would be better. But still a bad idea.
