Don't Get It Twisted, page 22
“I understand,” Claire said, her voice quivering as she watched Haley’s face fall. “I’ll—”
“Shh,” Whitney hushed her. “I said listen. I see you have forty-four hours of sick leave accrued and I heard flu season is kicking off early this year. If you get sick and are unable to return to the office next week and submit your time off to HR, there’s nothing I can do about that legally. Otherwise, I expect to see your smiling face Monday morning. Understood?” Whitney ended the call before Claire could answer her.
“I think I just got the flu,” Claire said, laughing in disbelief.
“So you’re staying longer?” Haley broke into a grin.
Claire nodded. Of course she was staying longer. If it kept Haley smiling, she would stay forever. But she shouldn’t get ahead of herself. Another week was a good stepping stone, much more reasonable than plunging into forever. But Haley made forever with her too easy to imagine and Claire was tired of being reasonable. It hadn’t worked out very well for her so far.
Noah set out to catch a hurricane the next evening, leaving Claire with a copy of the surgeons’ instructions for Haley—who was mortified to see Noah had circled the section about physical activity restrictions—and the keys to what she assumed was his least valuable car, a shiny Jeep Wrangler, so that Claire could chauffeur Haley around as needed.
“So you are allowed to leave the house,” Claire said, reading through the doctor’s notes once more. “We could go on a date tonight, out to dinner or something.”
“I’d rather stay in.” Haley sighed and laced her fingers through Claire’s. “I don’t want people to see me like this. What if someone recognizes me?” For the first time, Claire saw a glimmer of something she had never seen in Haley’s eyes. Fear.
“We can stay in, then,” Claire reassured her. “As long as you’re happy.”
“How could I not be happy with you here?”
“Do you mean that?” Claire asked. “Do I really make you happy?”
“Of course you do.” Haley brought Claire’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “Happier than I’ve ever been.”
She looked like she was trying to convince herself, and Claire wasn’t sold either. She had noticed Haley was getting lost in her thoughts a lot, and at first Claire had written it off as a side effect of the painkillers, but she was starting to wonder if Haley was as fine as she insisted she was.
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” Claire said.
“I’m not pretending, not with you. You make me happier than I thought I was allowed to be. It’s everything else I don’t know about.” Haley sighed, looking like she was on the verge of tears. “Noah thinks I should start working again, but I don’t think I can yet. Physically, I could probably sit there and record for a while. But how do I come back from that? What do I even say? I’m tired of fucking up. But even doing nothing is fucking up.” Haley’s voice cracked, and she dropped Claire’s hand and swiped her rising tears away.
“I don’t know anything about that,” Claire said gently, though her heart ached for Haley and she was fuming at Noah for caring more about his business than his business partner. “But if you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Have you talked to anyone about what happened yet? Like a therapist?”
“No, I really think I’m okay,” Haley said, brushing the suggestion aside. “I just need to figure out what the right thing to do is.”
“We will.” Claire took Haley’s hand again. “No normal person is going to be mad at you for taking the time you need. They aren’t entitled to you, so go easy on yourself.” Seeing Haley in tears was a new level of gut wrenching, and Claire was desperate to console her. At the very least, that self-centered prick Noah would be getting a piece of her mind when he returned from his escapades in Texas. “Let’s watch a movie or something,” she suggested, needing a distraction as much as Haley did at that point.
Haley yawned. “Do you mind if I just nap a while? I didn’t sleep very well last night.”
“Of course not.” Claire kissed her on the forehead. “I might run to the store, do you want anything?”
“No,” Haley said, the word elongated as her mouth stretched in another yawn. “Just hurry back to me.”
“Always,” Claire promised, wondering if Haley knew how much she meant it. She dimmed the living room lights and lingered a moment in the wide foyer door, watching until Haley’s breaths softened into a rhythmic pattern and the lines of worry relaxed away from the corners of her eyes. She deserved the world, and Claire only hoped she was adequate enough to give it to her.
Once Claire was certain Haley was asleep, she tiptoed out the back to Noah’s excessive garage, snorting to herself as she wondered if he was compensating for something. At least he was nice to Tobey, and Claire had to begrudgingly admit he had been very gracious considering how unexpected her visit had been. She didn’t know enough about cars to appreciate his full fleet, but the Jeep she climbed into was pristine. The smell alone told her the seats were real leather, supple and smooth as she slid into the driver's seat.
Claire rested her hands on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. God, she hoped she still remembered how to drive and nothing terrible happened to Noah’s car. The garage door hummed to life when she clicked the opener mounted to the sun visor, and Claire backed out slowly, grateful for rear cameras and wide Tulsa roads. Fortunately, the short drive to the store was uneventful. Visiting the Tulsa Walmart almost felt like visiting another country, but Claire was able to find what she needed quickly enough and get back home before Haley woke up from her nap.
She busied herself setting up the surprise in the backyard, carrying piles of blankets and pillows up from the basement to mound onto the patio furniture and make it as cozy for Haley as possible. After watching two videos and reading one how-to article, Claire felt confident enough to attempt lighting the propane fire pit and was pleased when it roared to life on her first attempt. She shut it off quickly, not wanting to waste gas until Haley woke up. Warm bistro lights would set a romantic mood as the sun went down, and Claire set out a few citronella candles she had found on late summer clearance. She had no idea if mosquitoes were even an issue in Tulsa, but she wasn’t going to risk anything ruining the evening she had planned.
“There you are,” Haley said, emerging from the sliding kitchen doors just as Claire was putting the finishing touches on her surprise. “I wasn’t sure you were back yet.” Her eyes widened as she noticed the patio. “What’s all this?”
“You didn’t want to go out, so I brought date night to you,” Claire said, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her effort. Haley was probably used to so much better, but it was the best she could do.
“You went to all this trouble for me?” Haley looked around the patio, her smile widening as she noticed each little detail.
“I thought it might be fun to do something different.” Claire guided Haley to a seat and got her situated amongst the pillows before handing her a long metal skewer. She lit the fire pit and grabbed her own skewer before joining Haley on the wide outdoor sofa. “For our first course, we have the finest of flame-broiled meats with soft bread rolls and a tomato reduction sauce.” Claire presented Haley with the grocery bag of hot dogs, buns, and a bottle of ketchup she’d found in Noah’s fridge.
“How gourmet,” Haley said, giggling when she looked in the bag.
“Experiential dining is all the rage on the east coast this summer.” Claire did her best impression of an old-timey snobbish accent as she impaled a hot dog on Haley’s skewer.
“So I hear,” Haley played along, “And I’m most excited to try such a rare delicacy.” Her eyes reflected the dancing blue flames and sparkled with delight. “Thank you,” she said, dropping the act and looking at Claire so intensely Claire thought her heart might burn out of her chest. “This is so thoughtful, and exactly what I needed.”
The evening brought a cool breeze, full of the sounds of katydids awakening to hum their sunset song and hot dogs sizzling on their sticks. Claire cuddled as close to Haley as she could without bothering the injury that Haley swore hurt a little less every day and they listened to the hum of the city winding down for the day from Noah’s sheltered neighborhood.
“Do you want another hot dog, or are you ready for dessert?” Claire asked.
“There’s dessert?” Haley’s eyes lit up again.
“Can’t have a campfire without s’mores,” Claire said, reaching behind the sofa to show Haley the second bag. “You toast, I’ll get the crackers ready. My family’s secret recipe, though we usually cooked ours over the electric burners at home.” Forget fire pits, they’d been lucky if some of the apartments even had fire escapes. She wondered what her parents would think if they knew she was sitting in one of the wealthiest zip codes in Tulsa making peanut butter s’mores for one of the most beautiful women in the world. More fuel for their resentment of what they perceived as Claire’s success—simply having made it out.
“I think it’s my turn to ask what you’re so deep in thought about,” Haley said, rotating the marshmallows slowly over the short propane flames.
“How much I loved having these as a kid.” Claire began spreading a thin layer of peanut butter—it had to be creamy—on two graham crackers before placing a slab of chocolate on each one. “My mom always made sure we had them for my birthday. I used to be jealous of the kids who got the store-bought cakes with the fancy designs, but now I wouldn’t trade those s’mores for anything.” Claire smiled wistfully.
“When is your birthday?” Haley asked.
“January ninth.”
“January ninth,” Haley repeated firmly, as if it was something important for her to remember.
And where would they be then? It was impossible to tell. Everything was so right when they were together, but the clock was ticking on when Claire would have to exit the fantasy and return to her real world, and the last time they had been apart everything had gone horribly wrong. But that was a question they could worry about the next week, or maybe the week after that. An uncertain future was definitely not what Claire wanted to be thinking about that night.
“I think these are ready,” Haley said.
The two marshmallows were roasted to perfection, golden brown all around and just beginning to ooze sugary goo. Claire finished building the s’mores, sandwiching the graham crackers around the skewer to slide the marshmallows off and waiting a moment for the residual heat to start melting the chocolate and peanut butter.
“Prepare to have your life changed,” Claire said, offering one to Haley before holding up her own in a mock toast.
“It already has,” Haley said, staring deep into Claire’s eyes and sending shivers of desire coursing through Claire’s veins. “Cheers.” She clinked her s’more to Claire’s a took a bite.
“Cheers,” Claire echoed reflexively, forgetting the s’more in her hand as soon as Haley’s lips parted to taste her own. Nothing existed but Haley, closing her warm brown eyes in delight as golden marshmallow spilled over the edges of the crisp cracker. Licking thick chocolate from the corners of her mouth and immediately diving back in for more while shadows from the flames danced across her golden hour skin. Claire was entranced.
She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to trace the flickering light on Haley’s face, as if by doing so Claire would be able to catch the moment and bottle it up and hold onto it forever. She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in to capture Haley’s lips in a kiss that tasted like caramelized sugar and hints of a future she craved in the deepest parts of her soul. Maybe it was all too much, too soon, but that was the power Haley had over Claire. The only thing that made sense was her.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Haley crept into the office as the first rays of morning sun began to stream over Noah’s privacy fence. She didn’t even know why she was being quiet, there was no one around to disturb. Claire was back at the house sleeping, and Noah was hundreds of miles away preparing for a hurricane to make landfall east of Houston.
Sleep had continued to evade her and torment her in equal amounts. When she wasn’t trying to shift into a comfortable position so she could fall asleep, the dreams of storms chasing her and lurking on every horizon were enough to ensure she was always just on the verge of being rested but never truly there. And it was getting worse.
So that morning, Haley decided it was time to swallow her pride and listen to Noah. Get back on the horse. Doing nothing would just let the stress continue to fester, even as her body healed, rotting her with anxiety from the inside. The longer she avoided it the more she was letting it win, and that just wasn’t her style. Claire was the only reason Haley was holding herself together at all, but it wouldn’t be fair to ask that of her forever. And Haley couldn’t move forward until she had confronted all of her past. She sat in her desk chair and stared into the empty monitors, facing off against her own reflection in a challenge to the demons that lurked within.
When she couldn’t stand looking at herself in the black screens any longer, she got to work clawing at the shrink-wrapped laptop that had been sitting untouched for too long. Even though Noah had recovered her old one from the wreckage near her car, it had been too badly damaged to salvage anything but the hard drive, and the new computer signified another fresh start. One she was ready for.
Maneuvering the sleek cardboard case open was another challenge with one functional arm, but eventually Haley managed. For one blissful moment, everything felt normal as she booted up the new computer, hooked it up to her display system, and logged into all her accounts. Muscle memory guided her as she navigated into the creator dashboard and checked her analytics. Her last stream was her top performing video of all time. She’d expected that, but it was still embarrassing that she had been catapulted into being most known for her greatest mistake instead of all the times she had gotten it right.
Exactly two weeks since her last upload. Since the encounter with mother nature’s concentrated fury. It felt like an eternity ago, and it was, at least in social media time. She reached a trembling hand towards the external hard drive Noah had prepared with all her footage, wondering how much of it he had watched while retrieving it for her. The icons loaded slowly on her screen to reveal folder after folder of meticulously labeled files. Haley clicked the first one and a wide angle view of the South Dakota plains filled her main monitor.
She fast-forwarded through the early parts of the video recorded from a camera mounted on the roof of her car, scribbling notes on Post-Its of things she wanted to make sure to include when editing the footage down to a watchable storytime for her audience, but soon she was swept up in the scene and two weeks no longer felt like an eternity ago as she watched her car turn down that cursed country road. Turn around, she willed herself, knowing full well it was far too late to undo any of the decisions that had been made that day. Don’t go in the valley. Take the high road.
The birds chattering their early morning songs outside were drowned out by the pounding of Haley’s heart as she scanned the sky on screen for signs of lowering in the darkening clouds, knowing it wouldn’t be much longer. The storm was mesmerizing– even more beautiful on camera than she remembered it being in real life– and it was like she was there again, gasping for air as the floodwater penned her in. Haley squeezed her eyes shut as she fumbled for the escape button to close the window and end her nightmare.
Her collarbone throbbed with the memory of being thrown into her seatbelt and slammed against the crushed door and Haley forced the muscles in her shoulders and back to relax, even though every nerve ending in her body was telling her to run. She realized her pencil had fallen to the floor and her sweaty hand was gripping the armrest of her chair, leaving tiny indents from fingernails she hadn’t been able to trim in a while.
She was in the office. She was fine. Claire was fifty yards away, probably still sleeping in the basement. She was safe.
So why didn’t it feel like it? Why was the adrenaline still flooding through her veins, making her nerves twitch and her skin crawl with clammy perspiration? Why could she still hear the bellow of the beast behind her, baying for her blood?
She needed a distraction.
Noah was live, and she clicked onto his stream just to hear the familiar drone of his annoying voice. The counter at the bottom of the screen said he had been on air for just over ten hours. The hurricane had made landfall late the night before, and he had evidently been awake the whole time streaming. Haley had forgotten to even check the forecast to see when landfall was predicted, she’d been so preoccupied with the perfect date Claire had set up for her in the backyard. She smiled for the first time since she woke up. Everything about the night before had been so well thought out, so detailed-oriented and curated especially for Haley. It was more than she deserved, and she still couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have Claire by her side.
Haley grabbed a bottle of water from the minifridge once her heart rate finally began to slow and chugged half of it, washing away the metallic taste of fear from her throat. Noah’s relaxed cadence and playful banter as he took bets with his chat on which cars would stall out driving through flood waters in front of a strip mall and which would turn around calmed her further. That was the normal she missed, and despite everything, there was a not-so-small piece of her that ached to be out there, too.
Haley pulled up the radar on another monitor. The sprawling outer bands of the hurricane were dumping rain across the region. “Heavy rainfall coming to east Texas,” she murmured, falling back into old habits. “Watch out for flash flooding.” She zoomed in closer on the town east of Houston where Noah was streaming. The radar reloaded with the most recent scan, and Haley blinked in disbelief. A velocity couplet, a tell-tale sign of a tornado, was forming just to the southwest of Noah, and the wind shear indicated that the atmospheric conditions in the wake of the hurricane were volatile. Sure enough, the next scan that came through was accompanied by a bright polygon outlining the new tornado warning. And just to the northwest, another couplet was growing.
