In Between Men, page 22
Wouldn’t a man fight for his wife if he really wanted her? Wouldn’t he say something … reach out to her in some way? Hope felt tears forming in her eyes again, and she willed them not to fall. She was not going to let Ray see her crying again. If he could be stoic and uncaring, then so could she.
She picked up the cordless phone. That knot that had been in her stomach had taken over her entire body. She looked over her shoulder before dialing Tony’s home number. The answering machine picked up, as she knew it would. “Tony, I thought about it, and I would like to go to the party with you. Call me tomorrow with the details.” After she hung up she stood in the same spot for a long time, listening to Ray moving around the house they had made together. Wanting desperately at that moment to be somebody other than who she was.
As soon as Ray left to take the kids to the birthday party on Saturday, Hope went into her closet and grabbed the first dress she felt was suitable for a small house party. It was a lavender silk wraparound; she also took out the silver strappy sandals that she usually wore with the dress. She put everything else she needed for the evening into a knapsack. She wrote out a note and left it where someone would be sure to find it.
Hope everything went well at the party. I
decided to go out. Will be back later.
Hope backed Ray’s car out of the driveway and steered it toward Tony’s hotel. For a minute she felt bad that she was using her husband’s car to get to her lover, but then she remembered that she had done it before.
Tony hugged her and took her bag from her at the same time. “I’m glad you decided to come with me.” He was smiling like a little boy who had asked for a second ice-cream cone and gotten it. She returned his smile as best she could. She was not really in the mood for a party, but once she told him she would go, she felt that she couldn’t back out. She couldn’t have her only real friend mad at her.
He kissed her full on the mouth and she pushed him gently away. “What’s wrong?” He was still very responsive to her mood.
“My stomach is a little upset.” She tried to massage some of the knots out of her stomach.
“I’ll get you a Sprite.”
“Thanks.” Her stomach was upset, but the real truth was she didn’t want him kissing and rubbing on her, because then he would want to screw. And her desire for sex was nonexistent. Sex was a major part of having an affair, and though it was good with Tony–excellent when she was able to shut her mind down and concentrate solely on the feelings that they created inside each other–she didn’t like how she felt afterward.
He handed her a Sprite from the minibar and she thanked him again.
“We have a couple of hours before the party, baby, what do you want to do?” It was obvious what he wanted to do. He was massaging her shoulders from behind, and she could feel the heat coming from his body. In some ways men are all the same, she decided. She reached behind her to still his hands.
“Could you go down to the little store and get me some Pepto-Bismol?”
“Sure. If you don’t feel up to it, we don’t have to go to the party. We can stay here. I’ll order room service for us–”
“No … just get me the Pepto-Bismol and I’m sure I’ll be fine.” When he left the room Hope leaned back into the chair and closed her eyes. She hadn’t been sleeping well, she hadn’t been eating well–really, she hadn’t been doing anything well lately. She smiled to herself right before she drifted off to sleep. And what kind of an adulteress finds excuses not to make love with her lover? I’m not doing this well either.
Hope sat straight up and for a minute couldn’t remember where she was. Then she looked over at the king-sized bed and saw Tony lounging casually on the pillows. “Hey!” she called out to get his attention. He smiled at her immediately.
“Hey back at you.” He got up from the bed and walked toward her. “Are you feeling better, or do you still need the Pepto?”
“I’m okay. Maybe I was just tired. How long was I
asleep?”
“About an hour.”
“I better hurry and get dressed.”
“You don’t have to hurry. It won’t matter if we’re a few minutes late.”
“Well, still…” She let the sentence trail off, grabbed her bag, and practically ran into the bathroom. She leaned against the bathroom door for a minute. Ray and the kids were probably on their way back home from the party. If things were right between her and Stephanie, she would have been at the party–in fact, she would have gone early to help her get everything ready–and then the kids would have probably stayed the night and she and Ray would have gone to a movie or somethingafterward. And she would have been happy to be sitting in a cool dark theater alone with him, even if he did always have to pick the movie. But things aren’t right, Hope, she reminded herself. You know that because you’re practically hiding in a hotel bathroom.
Before they left for the party, Tony told her to hold her arm out and close her eyes. When she opened them she saw that Tony had clasped a beautiful platinum and diamond line bracelet around her wrist. She noticed that it went well with her wedding ring and wondered absurdly for a moment if he had chosen it with her ring in mind.
“Thank you Tony, it’s beautiful,” was all she said.
“I wanted you to have it. I appreciate you being here with me. I know going to this party tonight is a big step. I promise you won’t regret it.”
On the drive to the party, Tony dispelled Hope’s theory about him choosing the bracelet to match her wedding ring. He looked down at her ring and spoke as though he knew he was broaching a delicate subject. “I told Mike and Ellen that you were divorced. Could you possibly not wear your ring for the next few hours?”
Hope only took off her ring to have it cleaned. She had cried when Ray had surprised her with it. That he would think her worthy of such a ring … Hope looked down at her beautiful ring and slipped it off and into her small evening bag without a word. Tears stung the back of her eyes. What am I doing? she questioned herself. She felt Tony smiling in the seat next to her, pleased that she would do as he requested without argument, and she didn’t like it.
Chapter Thirty-two
The house that the party was being held in was lovely. It was a dinner party, so there were not very many guests. Three other couples and the host and hostess were there when Tony and Hope arrived. Ellen was a tall, very slim woman. She had a beautiful smile and her nose and cheeks were sprinkled with freckles. Hope liked her immediately. She and her husband Mike looked so much alike that Hope mistook him for her brother.
Soft music filtered through the comfortable living room as appetizers were being served. After a minute Hope realized that the music had a Christian theme … Christian love songs that had become so popular. Tony left Hope sitting on the couch enjoying crab puffs while he went to the bar to pour her a glass of wine. She was surprised when her hostess sat down next to her.
“So how are the crab puffs?”
Hope finished her last bite before speaking. “Delicious. Maybe I’ll get the recipe from you later.”
“I can give it to you now.” Ellen laughed. “Call Jade’s Lighthouse… they’re in the phone book. And if you want the recipe for the pork and vegetables or the rolls that we’re having for dinner, call them too.”
Hope laughed. “You didn’t make dinner.”
Ellen leaned in and whispered to Hope, “I’ll tell you this because I have a feeling that we’re going to be friends, but I never cook for dinner parties. Mike loves to have parties, but he’s so busy at the church that he doesn’t have time to help out with anything, so about three years ago I started ordering take-out.”
“At the church?” Hope hoped that she sounded casual.
“Yes, he’s associate pastor at New View Christian. Tony didn’t tell you?”
“No, he didn’t.” He knew I wouldn’t bring my adulterous ass into a preacher’s house. Hope was glad she had chosen a modest red silk slip dress … then she thought about the way the silk clung to her thighs and her behind. Well, semimodest, she amended.
“I’m surprised, he told us a lot about you. Let me see… you met at a seminar, you’re divorced, you’re a bank supervisor–”
Hope interrupted her. “Did he tell you my shoe size?”
Ellen smiled softly at her. “Tony is a very good friend of ours. We lived in Houston until my husband accepted the associate pastorship. We knew his ex-wife too, and we’ve been very concerned about him since the divorce. So when he said he would be here and he was bringing a date, I’m not ashamed to say that I drilled him.” Ellen’s smile was approving. “How long have you been divorced?”
Where is Tony with that damn drink? Hope looked around but Tony was nowhere in sight, so she was forced to add to the lie that he had started.
“About…” What was an appropriate length of time to be divorced before dating? Hope decided to play it safe. “Five years.”
Ellen looked confused. “Tony mentioned that you had three boys and that one of them was not really school aged.”
Oh shit!
“Well, that’s true. My ex and I tried to reconcile after the divorce and I ended up pregnant. You know how that goes,” Hope ended lamely.
The expression on Ellen’s face left no doubt that she did not.
“I have to finish taking the food from the cartons. I’m glad that Tony found you.” She seemed very sincere as she patted Hope’s knee before getting up. Hope looked after her … and shook her head mentally at her own stupidity.
She saw Tony walking up with her glass of wine out of the corner of her eye. He handed her the glass and sat down next to her.
“What took you so long?” She was very irritated, and embarrassed. Her tone caused him to frown.
“I was getting your wine. Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay.” Hope took a sip of the rose-colored wine, but did not taste it. “Why did you leave me all alone with her?”
“You’re a big girl, Hope, I figured you’d be okay.” Tony laughed, but Hope was very serious.
“I made a fool of myself. If you were going to leave me alone with her, you should have told me what lies you made up about me.”
“The only thing I told her that wasn’t true was that you were divorced. Everything else I told her was the truth.” He leaned over to kiss her, calming her nerves. “I told her that you were beautiful, intelligent, a great mother, and a wonderful lover.”
Hope looked at him, horrified.
“You told her what?”
“I told her that you were a wonderful lover and that our bodies fit together perfectly, and that your tongue is like raw silk–”
Her laughter interrupted him. “You’re insane.” She accepted another kiss on the cheek from him and decided to relax and enjoy herself. She held out her hand and examined the sparkling bracelet on her wrist. “Did I thank you for the bracelet?” She wondered where she would hide it. Maybe Ray would think it was cubic zirconia … maybe he wouldn’t notice.
“No, you didn’t, not properly, but I promise to give you the opportunity later.”
During the forty-five minutes before dinner was served, Hope met the other guests, had another glass of wine and had another… smoother conversation with their hostess. She liked her and she liked the reverend. She had never met a minister who was so down to earth.
Tony didn’t leave her again. He stayed close to her side, laughing softly if she made a funny comment, caressing the back of the hand he was holding, periodically kissing her on her forehead, her cheeks, once lightly on her lips. She was almost totally at ease when the doorbell rang.
Ellen broke through the swinging doors that led to the kitchen with a smile on her face. “You guys can go on into the dining room, and grab a seat. Dinner is ready. I’ll be there as soon as I see who this is at the door.” Her comment was directed at the people positioned in various spots throughout the room.
Hope and Tony did not move immediately to follow the other couples. He continued to sit on the arm of Hope’s chair, holding her hand. She was in no hurry to eat; she was enjoying Tony’s loving glances and the relaxed atmosphere.
Her soft smile froze in place when she heard a familiar voice in the hallway. She snatched her hand from Tony and stood up quickly, so quickly that she almost fell back into the sofa.
“What’s wrong?” Tony was confused, but Hope couldn’t answer his question–she was too busy praying that for just one minute God would grant her the power to make herself invisible.
By the time Ellen rounded the corner with her last guests, Hope was trembling inside. It is them! When Ralph and Lisa walked into the room, Hope’s heart fell out of her mouth and landed somewhere near her knees. She guessed it was her heart that caused her knees to buckle. She tried to sit back down casually, but she knew her movements were awkward.
“Hope.” Lisa’s eyes moved from Tony to Hope. When her assessment was complete she gave her husband an “I told you so” look. She didn’t miss a beat as she continued speaking. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Is Ray in the other room?”
Hope stood up and tried to pretend that she was happy to see the couple, but she couldn’t pretend. She wanted to run out of the room like Cinderella at midnight, but the satisfaction that was lurking in the back of Lisa’s eyes was enough to keep her feet firmly planted in one spot.
“Hi Ralph, how are you?”
Ralph, who had been so friendly toward her despite his wife, looked at her and Tony with sad disapproval. “I’m fine, Hope. What’s up, man?” The nod that he directed toward Tony was almost imperceptible.
They stood around looking at one another, Ellen looking confused–the tension in the room could not be mistaken. At that moment Mike walked into the room.
“Everybody’s waiting to eat, baby.” He smiled at Ralph and Lisa. “I thought y’all weren’t going to make it. Come on, let’s eat–”
“Just a minute honey.” Ellen’s look stopped her husband midsentence. “Do you know each other?” She spoke quietly, waiting for someone to explain … something.
“Of course!” Lisa responded too cheerfully. “Ralph works with Ray, Hope’s husband, and he went to grad school with Tony.” Lisa continued as if she didn’t know exactly what was going on. “Ray is here, isn’t he, Hope?” Her wide-eyed expression didn’t fool Hope.
“No, he’s at a birthday party with the boys.” Hope wanted to scratch the smirk off the other woman’s face, but she was too humiliated. And Tony didn’t say a word. He just stood behind her looking at everyone in the room with a blank expression on his face.
Lisa looked pointedly at the small-faced watch that she wore. “Is it a slumber party?”
“You bitch,” Hope muttered under her breath.
“Excuse me?” Lisa put her hands on her hips and looked at Hope with open challenge.
“I said, you bitch.” Hope was not one to back down from a challenge.
“Oh! I’m a bitch. Well, Hope, at least I’m not the kind of bitch who walks around thinking that she’s all that,” she looked pointedly at Hope’s clingy dress, “and screws over her husband without a second thought.” She paused for a second as she pretended to consider. “You know, where I come from, we have another word for females like you. And my mother always said it’s better to be a bitch than a whore.”
Tony continued to stand silently. Ellen must have known that Hope was about to kick her ass because she put her hands up to stop the two women.
“That’s enough! Ralph, why don’t you take Lisa in and tell everyone that it’s okay to start dinner. We’ll be there in a minute.” Ralph did as she requested and led Lisa by the elbow into the dining room. Hope and a still-silent Tony remained to speak with the reverend and his wife privately.
“Is that true, Tony? Is Hope married?” Mike looked at Tony, waiting for an explanation. Tony nodded slowly.
“Yes, she is, but they’re basically separated.” He moved closer to Hope and put his arms around her shoulders. Mike and Ellen looked at each other doubtfully. Hope wished that Tony would move his arm. She knew he was trying to be supportive, but it made her feel worse, more ashamed.
“Does your husband know you’re here with Tony tonight, Hope?” Ellen asked the question quietly and with little judgment.
Hope felt her body shrink underneath Tony’s arm. “No, he doesn’t.”
Ellen looked at her husband again… it was his cue to finish the conversation.
“Look, Tony, we’re not exactly sure what’s going on here, but you know we can’t allow you to bring a married woman into our house.” Tony stood before them unapologetic, his arm burning a hole in her bare flesh. Ellen looked at Hope, who tried to avoid her eyes.
“Hope, can I speak to you privately for a minute?”
How could she say no? She smiled stiffly, almost grateful for a reason to move away from Tony. She followed Ellen to a corner on the far side of the room; she looked back briefly and saw that Mike continued to speak to Tony quietly. He looked more repentant that he had seconds earlier. Hope looked back at Ellen, who was looking at her with a soft expression on her face.
“Hope, like my husband said, we don’t know what’s going on here. Well …” She paused to amend her statement. “We don’t know all of the circumstances, but no matter what, we hold certain things sacred. Marriage is one of them. If we allow you to stay here with this new knowledge, it would be as if we approved.” Ellen placed a soft hand on Hope’s shoulder. “Not that it’s our place to judge, but it is our home, and we certainly don’t approve.” Hope could barely meet her eyes.
