In Between Men, page 15
He had gone to his meeting that night and Hope had picked up the boys and taken them to McDonald’s. She half thought that he would come home and take her in his arms and tell her that he forgot about her mother’s birthday, and that he was sorry; that they would both take off work the next day and go to the cemetery. He didn’t, and she waited the entire week for something to jog his memory, because she certainly wasn’t going to.
On Friday that week when Tony came to town she met him at the airport … outside the security gate. When she saw him, she started to cry immediately, quiet tears, and asked him to drive her to the cemetery. He hugged her close to him as they made their way to her truck. Once she gave him directions, she closed her eyes, tears still seeping from the corners down her cheeks.
At her mother’s gravesite, Tony stood silently behind her, supportive but not intrusive. That day she did not go to work and she didn’t call to say that she wouldn’t be going in. The plan had been for them to have breakfast and for her to take him to his ten A.M. meeting. They spent the day at the zoo. She didn’t remember his meeting until she was in bed that night. She thought back and couldn’t remember him making a call, and she knew that he had not mentioned the meeting at any time that day. She appreciated him putting her needs before his business.
That day their relationship changed; at least it did for Hope. But she did not acknowledge it consciously. It’s normal, she told herself, as you get to know someone to rely on them and to look forward to seeing them.
Chapter Twenty-one
Several days before school was to resume for the boys, Ray approached her about taking them camping. “I thought you said Lisa was having a birthday party for Ralph this Saturday?” She hadn’t seen the couple in several months, she didn’t particularly want to see them, but it seemed to her that the only time she and Ray went out together in the evenings was to attend one of their parties.
“Please, Hope, I know you don’t want to go to that party.”
“Maybe not, Ray, but it would be nice to do something other than sit around here all weekend.”
“I agree, that’s why I want to go camping.”
“You know I can’t stand camping, Ray. Let’s go to New Braunfels, you know the boys love that water park.”
Ray sighed and closed his eyes to let her know that she was trying his patience. “It’s the last weekend before school. Everybody is going to be in New Braunfels. I don’t feel like dealing with that crowd.”
“And I don’t feel like dealing with mosquitoes, and fleas, and snakes.”
“I’m not surprised that you don’t want to go camping–”
She cut him off before he could finish his remark. “You shouldn’t be surprised, Ray. I’ve told you over and over again that I don’t like to camp.”
“As I was saying, Hope,” he stared at her coldly, “I’m not surprised, because lately if I say blue you say green, if I say stop you say go. Everything has to be an argument with you.”
So you have noticed. Hope put one hand on her hip.
“Well, I know that you like things to be different. I know if you say blue, you think I should say true. I hate to camp! The times you have dragged me out to the Piney Woods of East Texas, I have had a miserable time.”
He ignored her sarcasm and shrugged his shoulders casually. “You don’t have to go; I’ll just take the boys.” His attitude made her furious.
“I’ve been asking you all summer to go somewhere. You wait until summer is over and then you get an attitude with me because I have the nerve to voice my opinion and say that I don’t want to go camping. All I’m suggesting, Ray, is that we do something that we can all enjoy.”
His voice remained level. “I don’t have an attitude, but you know what, Hope, nothing is ever good enough for you lately. You say things deliberately to piss me off, you act like here is the last place you want to be, you don’t even give the boys any real attention …”
Oh, wait just a fucking minute, he just went too far.
“So now I’m not a good mother. Is that what you’re saying?” He was looking at her as if she had shit on her head and she thought it was a hat. He continued to speak in the same level tone. Hope was sure he was doing it only to irritate her.
“Listen to you. I ask you to go camping and you go off. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Hope, maybe you’re going through a crisis or something, maybe this mortgage loan thing is not going like you wanted… I don’t know, but I do know that you need to do whatever you have to do to get your shit together.”
Her mouth fell open. “I need to get my shit together? Oh my God, Ray, oh my God.” She shook her head, almost speechless, as he walked away.
Friday morning Ray loaded up her truck with camping supplies. The boys were excited about the trip and pleaded with Hope to go, but she continued to refuse. She kissed them good-bye and waved at Ray; he didn’t return her wave or look in her direction as he drove off.
Chapter Twenty-two
Hope called in sick. She was sick. She climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over her head, grateful her family was gone and sad at the extent of her gratitude. Ray was right, about the boys at least. She hadn’t been giving them her full attention. She couldn’t remember one funny thing that the twins had done or said the entire summer.
She hadn’t taken the time to spank David, and Lord knew the boy was getting out of hand. And when she took them to see a movie on the weekend or to some other activity designed to appeal to children, she spent most of the time praying that it would be over soon.
Her eyes started stinging, and Hope knew that she was about to start crying. She had been crying a lot lately, almost every day. A sad song on the radio would bring tears to her eyes. Once she had started to cry from frustration because the deli added mustard to her chicken salad sandwich. She had been so upset over the incident that she refused to eat the replacement sandwich that they sent over.
Her shit wasn’t together, and she didn’t know why and she didn’t know what to do about it. She closed her eyes tight and waited for her mind to go blank. Hope wanted to go back to sleep. Tiredness weighed her entire body even though she had just gotten out of bed.
Hope sat up in bed, startled by the telephone. She wondered where and who she was for a minute. She still hadn’t figured it out when she picked up the phone. “Hello.” She didn’t recognize her voice–it was hoarse and her mouth felt like someone had wiped it with cotton while she slept–but she recognized the voice on the other end of the phone.
“Hope?”
“Tony?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“I was worried about you. I called your office and your secretary told me that you were out sick.”
“No, I’m not really sick. Just a little tired. God, what time is it?”
“Almost one o’clock.”
“No wonder my head is killing me, I’ve been asleep for more than five hours.”
“Well, something must be wrong with you.”
She was touched by the concern in his voice. “Not really, just the same old thing.” She wondered if Ray had left her a message at work to let her know that they arrived at the campsite. Probably not.
“Did Ray and the boys get off all right?” By now he knew what the “same old thing” was. She appreciated that he listened to her periodic complaints but did not offer advice.
“Yeah, they left really early this morning.” She sat up on the bed and twisted her body from side to side. Her muscles were aching also. If she didn’t know better, she would think she had a hangover.
“So do you have any plans this weekend? Or will you be sleeping?”
“I think I’ve had enough sleep to last the entire weekend.” She took the cordless phone with her and walked into the bathroom. “I don’t know. I need to clean up around here.” She looked at the mess covering the bathroom sink and made a mental note to call a cleaning service. “Are you going to that party tomorrow?”
“Ralph’s birthday party?”
“Are you going?” She stood up a little straighter, and some of the pounding in her head stopped.
“I was thinking about it. I think it would be good for you to get out.”
“And why is that?” She looked at herself in the mirror and smoothed her hair down.
“Because you’ve been so down lately. I’m worried about you.”
“Well, if you say I need to get out, I guess I do.” They arranged to meet at the party and spent a few more minutes talking about things that friends talk about. When she got off the phone her headache was completely gone and she had a smile on her face.
Hope adjusted the rearview mirror so she could take another look at herself. Her hair was freshly trimmed and she had had her make-up expertly applied at the Bobbi Brown counter. Daryl, the make-up artist, had said that she needed an edgy, modern look to complement her hairstyle. He had applied “gloss” everywhere. Eye gloss to her lids, neutral pencil and lip gloss to her soft lips, and a foundation that made her skin look so dewy and fresh that she didn’t blink twice when he told her how much it cost. She wore a beaded T-shirt, form-fitting indigo jeans, and three-inch open-toed sandals. She thought she looked sort of like a rock star.
She took a deep breath, grabbed the bottle of scotch that she had picked up for Ralph, and opened the car door. She had never visited Ralph and Lisa without Ray. She didn’t know if Lisa would want any unescorted ladies hanging around. Hopefully Tony is already here, she thought just before she rang the doorbell.
Lisa opened the door after only a few seconds. She smiled politely at her guest before looking over her shoulder. The disapproval in her voice was almost imperceptible. “Hope, I’m glad y’all could make it. When I didn’t hear back from you, I thought you and Ray weren’t coming.”
Hope returned her polite smile with one of her own. She just wanted to get inside and look for her friend, but Lisa did not stand aside. “I’m sorry I didn’t call to RSVP, I’ve just been so busy.”
Lisa looked past her shoulders again. Is she going to let me pass through the fucking door or what?
“Is Ray still in the car?”
“No, he took the boys camping. I hope it’s okay that I came alone.” The expression on Lisa’s face let her know that it was not, and Hope thought for a minute that she was going to close the door in her face, but Ralph walked up behind her.
“Hope, come on in. I thought y’all were going camping?”
Hope smiled at him as she stepped inside. “No … not all of us. Ray took the boys, so I decided to come alone.” She held up the bottle for him to see. “Happy birthday.” Ralph took the bottle and checked the label.
“This is the good stuff! We won’t be serving this tonight. Thanks.” Their conversation faded when the doorbell rang again. Hope allowed them to continue to play host/hostess and went to find a drink. She was pouring herself a glass of wine when Tony found her.
“Hey, beautiful.” She put the glass down and gave him a hug. She saw that Lisa was watching her and wished that the woman would get some business of her own.
“Hello, handsome.”
“I’m glad you made it.” He stood back from her and looked her up and down appreciatively. “Wow! You look great.” He laughed a little and shook his head and repeated his words. “You look great.” Hope was a little embarrassed, but mostly she was pleased at his reaction. He stood beside her and poured two glasses of wine and handed one to her. He pointed to an empty love seat in the corner of the room and guided her toward it.
“I didn’t talk to you today, so I didn’t know if you were still planning on coming.” Hope took a deep drink from the glass and sat back into the sofa. Tony sat close to her. So close that if another person wanted to sit with them there wouldn’t be enough room between them. She didn’t feel uncomfortable. She enjoyed the smell of his cologne and the look of admiration in his eyes.
“I’ve been traveling to Dallas to get my Hope fix all summer. Did you really think I would pass up an opportunity to spend an evening with you?” He sounded serious, but there was a big smile on his face.
“Is that what you’ve been doing?”
“Mmm-hmm. Finish that wine so we can dance.”
She took the last swallow and placed the glass on the floor. Tony stood up and pulled her by the hand and continued to hold it as they walked to the space that served as the dance floor. Hope felt as if all eyes were on them as they moved to the fast-paced music. She was only concerned about one pair of eyes–Lisa’s. She didn’t see the other woman, but she felt sure that she was somewhere in the room watching her.
“What’s wrong?” Tony leaned in closer to ask.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m not as comfortable as I thought I would be, being here without Ray. I don’t think Lisa is too happy about me coming here alone. Everyone here is in pairs.”
“I know what you mean. I think that when she invited me she assumed I would bring a woman. If you hadn’t come, I would have been standing on the wall all night. This is definitely a couples party, but I don’t care. Do you?”
“I do feel a little uncomfortable.”
“Do you want to leave? We could go to a dance club that I know of. It’s not too far from here.”
“I just got here. If we leave it’ll look like we just came to meet each other.”
“That is why we came, isn’t it?”
She made a face at him. “You know what I mean.” She couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I’m married, and these are my husband’s friends. Even though we wouldn’t be doing anything wrong, I still have to be concerned about appearances.”
“Listen, I’ll sneak around back and find the main breaker. When I turn off the lights, you feel your way to the front door. I’ll meet you at the corner. I’ll be the man with this shirt on with no car.”
Hope laughed out loud at the silly suggestion. “You didn’t drive?”
“No, I took a cab here. My hotel is close to the airport; I didn’t see the need to rent a car. I’m depending on you to give me a ride back.”
“No problem. I’ll pick you up on the corner. I’ll be the woman in these jeans. I’m driving a vintage Porsche.”
“You’re going to be wearing those jeans?” he said in his best Mac Daddy voice… which wasn’t too bad. “I could start a fire to cause a diversion. When the smoke alarm goes off, run outside and I’ll be waiting. Of course, the fire would cause severe property damage, and some people could die, but we’d be out of here.”
Hope laughed until tears came to her eyes. “You are so ridiculous. Why don’t we just stay for an hour and then leave? Are you sure you don’t mind leaving the party? I know Ralph is an old friend.”
“I didn’t come here to see Ralph, I came to see you.”
The mirth left her eyes. “Are you flirting with me?”
“You could call it that.”
Chapter Twenty-three
Hope took the attendant’s hand and stepped out of the car. Tony waited for her on the passenger side and they walked up the short flight of stairs into the club. She was pleased with what she saw when she looked around the room. Small tables were positioned strategically against the walls; the dance floor was small, but large enough to accommodate quite a few couples. The waitresses were sexy, but not over the top. She smiled her approval as they made their way to the only available table in the place.
A waitress came to the table immediately to take their drink orders. Hope ordered an Amaretto sour and Tony ordered a vodka on the rocks. They talked and laughed quietly about nothing while they waited for their drinks. Hope thought about the conversation they had with Lisa before leaving the party. Lisa had walked up to them sitting on the love seat talking quietly. She said that she didn’t know that they were friends, and stood there as if they owed her an explanation.
Hope told her that they were business acquaintances and left it at that. She was sure that she would hear about it from Ray sometime next week. But so what, I’m allowed to have friends.
They listened to the music for a while and enjoyed their drinks. She wasn’t listening closely to what he said; she was trying to remember the last time she and Ray had gone out dancing. “Hope … Hope.” Hope jumped a little when she realized Tony had asked her a question.
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“Nothing important. I can tell that you don’t really feel like talking. Why don’t we dance?” Tony pushed his chair back and helped her out of her seat. He was right, she didn’t feel like talking. She was better able to focus on dancing than she had been at the party. A giggle escaped her when she realized that Tony was rhythmically challenged.
“What are you laughing at?” he asked over the music.
He asked, so she couldn’t resist teasing him. “Where did you learn to dance?”
He laughed back at her. One of the things she liked about him was that he didn’t take himself too seriously.
“I know… I know. I do the best I can with what I’ve got.” He narrowed the distance between them when the D.J. played a popular love song. “I appear to be a better dancer close up.” He took her into his arms, but left a respectable distance between them. He was right; he was an excellent slow dancer.
They were dancing too close and she knew it. The music was medium tempo and they were the only couple on the floor dancing so closely. She liked dancing with him like this, her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands resting on her hips. They moved well together and were keeping perfect time with the music. “I knew you had it in you. Now, aren’t you glad we left the party to come here?” She was almost surprised to hear his voice; they hadn’t talked much on the dance floor. She nodded slowly.
