Wonderful, page 51
Her voice changed again to crisp coolness. “You went along with it, Kellan. No one forced you.”
I couldn’t believe she’d just fucking said that to me. “No one forced…” I’d been pushed around and threatened from the very start. Surely, she understood that.
Sienna sighed, clearly frustrated as well. “Look, I only said that the truth couldn’t come out. I didn’t say that Kell-Sex couldn’t end. If you’re so bent out of shape about it that you can’t even enjoy being on top of the world, then we’ll ‘break up’ after the tour. I’ll be heartbroken, but I’ll quickly move on, and when everyone sees how happy I am with my new beau, you and your wife will be free to date in peace. Problem solved.”
Oh my fucking God, did she actually think that was a viable solution? Kiera seemed just as flabbergasted as me. She sputtered on her words, then spat out, “How does that solve anything? I’ll still be the other woman who broke you up.”
Sienna let out a weary exhale. “We’ll be at the venue soon. I just wanted to call and…congratulate you on your success.” She sighed again, then hung up the phone since her end of the conversation was finished.
Everyone stared at the phone for long, silent seconds. Then Anna said, “She’s really not going to help you guys at all, is she?”
I shook my head. “No, she was never gonna help us. We have to fix this on our own.” And I was pretty sure I’d just thought of a way to do it. If Sienna wouldn’t come clean, then I would. About everything. Because the truth was the only option left for me. I would tell everyone what I’d done, what the label had coerced me into doing, and what I’d knowingly and unknowingly helped perpetuate. They’d crucify me, but at least they’d stop hating Kiera.
Griffin and Gibson returned while I mulled over my idea. Griffin looked at our solemn table and asked us, in his own special way, what was wrong. “Why the fuck does everyone look constipated? Bad coffee or something?”
Evan filled him in on the phone call with Sienna, and Griffin instantly flipped out. Kiera quickly rescued Gibson from his exuberance, and Griffin tossed his hands in the air as he jumped up and down. “Whoooooooooo! Number two, baby!” He started running up and down the aisle, screaming his head off, and seeing his joy finally melted my melancholy.
Evan and Matt joined his happiness, Matt telling me, “Number two, Kell! We’re number two!”
Feeling worry-free for a moment, I snatched Gibson from Kiera and said, “I know, man. It’s crazy.” And it really was. We’d come so far, so fast; my head was still spinning. I bounced Gibson in my arms as the guys ruminated over our success.
“Number two,” Evan said, looking dazed. “Right behind Sienna Sexton. Six months ago, I never would have pictured that happening.”
Griffin instantly started humping the air. “Not me. I always knew I’d be banging on Sienna’s backdoor one day.” He kept going with his simulated sexual act. Kiera grimaced and looked away. Deacon stumbled out of the sleeping area, smirked at Griffin, then sat down with his bandmates. Griffin dramatically, and loudly, finished his performance, then took a bow. I smiled as Kiera unplugged her ears, then we both cracked up. The rest of the guys did too, and Anna giggled as she clapped for her husband. Fucking Griffin.
Matt smacked him on the back as his laughter died down. “It’s nice to see that becoming a husband and father hasn’t changed you in the slightest, cuz.”
Griffin gave him a haughty sniff. “Did you think it would?”
Nope. Not really.
Once everyone stopped laughing, I locked eyes with my band members. I had something to tell them that they weren’t going to like, something that was going to affect all of us, something I needed their support in. The mood in the air changed as they each noted the seriousness on my face. Well, Matt and Evan noticed it; Griffin had to be smacked by Matt.
When I had their complete attention, I said, “Tomorrow morning, we’re going to a radio station to perform. We’re scheduled to play two songs, pimp the album and the concert, and leave. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to sing.” I shifted my eyes to Kiera. “I want to talk, and I want to tell them everything.”
Kiera’s eyes widened and she thickly swallowed. “You want to go on air, behind Sienna and Nick’s back, and tell the world what they did? How they manipulated you?”
I nodded at her. “And I want to tell them exactly who you are to me.”
Her face went pale white, but she gave me a soft smile. “Then I’ll talk with you. We’ll do this interview together.”
Surprise went through me, followed by pride. That was huge of her to even suggest doing it with me. “Are you sure? It’s one of the largest radio stations on the East Coast.”
She frowned, and looked a little green, but nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. If you’re going to do something as reckless as throw your record label and the biggest pop star on the planet under the bus, then I’m going to be right beside you.” Lifting her wrist, she showed me her tattoo. “I’m done hiding.” She paused as she grimaced. “And now I have to go throw up.”
I laughed, then gave her a kiss. When we pulled apart, I shifted my attention to the guys. “This affects you too. If I tell everyone what we did to boost sales, it could hurt us. Sienna was right about that—the stigma could follow us for years. Are you guys okay with that?”
My heart thudded in my chest as I waited for their reply. If they weren’t okay with it, then…we’d find another way. I just didn’t know what that other way might be. Except maybe Sienna’s idea, but I really hated letting my wife continue to be the enemy in the public’s eye. It would chip away at me, make me bitter. It already was.
Evan was the first one to respond. He walked over and picked up Kiera in a bone-crushing hug. “I hated hearing all that Kell-Sex crap, so I’m thrilled it’s about to be over.”
A tiny bit of relief filled me at hearing him say that. I glanced at Griffin, and he was nodding, so I figured he was fine with it. Then I looked over at Matt. If anyone was going to object, it would be him. The band was his baby, and he’d worked his ass off to get us here. Matt stared at me for a long moment. Guilt filled me as I stared back at him until finally, I couldn’t take the silence anymore. “I’m sorry, Matt. I really didn’t expect any of this…and I won’t come clean if everyone’s not on board.” But please be on board. I need this to end, and I need your support.
Like he heard my silent plea, he finally grinned. Then he playfully socked me in the shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing, man. Don’t worry about it.” Eyes serious, he pointed at each of us. “We just have to make sure the next album rocks so freaking hard that all of this doesn’t mean a damn thing.”
I clapped his arm as pure relief filled me. “Deal,” I told him.
Chapter 31
THE INTERVIEW
Kiera and I decided to sleep on the bus instead of going to the hotel. Even though a hotel room would have been more spacious, the bus just felt safe, cozy, and considering what we were doing in the morning, we both needed to feel that way for as long as possible. The guys surprised me by staying with us, and we all stayed up later than we should have, reminiscing about the good times we’d had and coming up with a plan in case all of this backfired badly. Saying screw it and going back to Pete’s to live out the rest of our days playing there was the top contender.
Once we all called it a night and crawled into our cramped beds, I had a hard time sleeping. I couldn’t stop worrying that I was doing the wrong thing, and yet, I was also filled with an eager kind of hope that it would work, that people would be understanding about the situation, sympathetic even. We’d been so clueless in the beginning, so overwhelmed by everything…so voiceless. I supposed we still were. It made me wish Lana had been able to stay by our side the whole time. She’d always felt like an advocate, a friend, but handholding us wasn’t her job, and I already knew she didn’t have the authority to contradict Nick.
I’d reached out to her a few times during all this, asking for help, asking for advice, and she’d always told me the same thing: I really want to help you, but my hands are tied. She’d always followed it up with, “Stay strong.” I understood. In a way, she was just as trapped as we were. Too far down the ladder to make a difference. Hopefully, that fact would save her from any potential backlash from this upcoming interview.
Since sleep wasn’t happening, I crawled out of bed and decided to finish reading Kiera’s book. Comparatively, that pain was easier to bear; at least I knew how that story ended. Time sped by as I got caught up in our history, and I wanted to smack myself a dozen times for all the stupid shit I did. Like the fight in the rain. That was particularly difficult to read. And taking those two girls up to my room after that fucking party. Just reading about Kiera struggling through that made me feel sick. Of course, Kiera made her mistakes too…like having goodbye sex with Denny. Like panicking in the parking lot, changing her mind about us, forcing a goodbye between us that neither of us wanted. Things that still sometimes hurt and baffled me were so much clearer after reading them through Kiera’s perspective. I got it. I got her. And I loved her even more for it, something I didn’t even realize was possible. But love truly had no limit; there was always room for more.
Anna joined me in the early morning. Yawning repeatedly, she waved a greeting, then sat across the aisle from me and started feeding Gibson. I closed Kiera’s laptop, feeling nothing but a sense of accomplishment and pride for my wife. What she’d just written down was raw, real, gut-wrenching, and messy. Exactly how it had been. I’d understand if she didn’t want to release it to the public, but I really thought she should. Because I was pretty certain Kiera wasn’t the only one to ever feel that way, and I knew how good it felt not to be alone in your pain.
When Anna was done feeding Gibson, burping her on her shoulder, a thought struck me. Smiling, I leaned over the aisle and asked, “Hey, did you bring any flowers back from the hospital? Any roses?”
She thought for a moment, then nodded. With a smirk, she said, “One of the nurses brought me a small ‘congratulations’ bouquet. You should have seen his face.” She swirled a finger around hers. “Bright red. Adorable.”
A light laugh escaped me. Leave it to Anna to get hit on by a guy just moments after having someone else’s baby. We really were a lot alike. “This is going to sound weird, but do you think I could have a petal?”
She lifted an eyebrow at me. “More romance?” she asked. Then she smiled. “I think you’ve got her, Kellan. I don’t think you need to keep trying so hard.”
I softly smiled at her. “It isn’t about trying to get her or trying to keep her. I just can’t contain how much I love her.”
Anna stared at me a moment, and I swear her deep green eyes grew glossy. Finally, she blinked rapidly and murmured, “Damn, pregnancy hormones.” She swished a hand at me. “Yes, go get your damn petal.”
I stood up with a bright smile on my face. “Thanks.” Then I leaned over and gave Gibson a quick kiss on the forehead before quietly making my way to the back bedroom.
Griffin was out cold when I stepped inside, snoring away like he hadn’t slept in ten years. Careful not to wake the fucker, I spotted the flowers and plucked a petal off a rose. I turned to leave, then paused and considered messing with Griffin. I did owe him some payback after all. I scanned the room, looking for an appropriate retaliation, and that was when I spotted the perfect prank. It was childish, stupid, and absurdly messy…and that made it just right for Griffin.
Suppressing a maniacal giggle, I grabbed Gibson’s baby powder, unscrewed the top, and carefully poured a thick layer over Griffin’s chest. Then over his hair. Then I carefully lifted the covers and squeezed a bunch down there. God, I hoped he was naked. Already the white shit was getting everywhere, and I gleefully imagined Griffin looking like a powder puff. I’d help him clean up his room later, because I wasn’t a total dick, but I was going to get a really good laugh out of it first.
Petal in hand, I went back to the lounging area to wait for Matt to get up so I could borrow his Sharpie. He woke up not long after Kiera, yawning as he waved a tired greeting to us. Since Kiera was cooing at Gibson, I took the opportunity to approach him.
“Hey, can I borrow your—”
Before I even finished my question, he grunted in annoyance and thrust his hand into his pocket. “Oh my God, just keep it,” he said, shoving the marker at me.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I know how much it means to you.”
His pale eyes narrowed into a glare. “I’ll get another one.”
The look on his face made me chuckle. He shook his head at me, and that was when I heard a loud exclamation from the back bedroom. “What the fuck? Who the…? Goddamn it, Matt!”
Matt’s eyes widened, and I started losing it. He tilted his head at me. “What did you do?” he asked.
I couldn’t answer him, and I didn’t need to—Griffin burst into the room a second later. He was only wearing boxer briefs, and he had splotches of white powder all over him. Matt saw him and instantly started laughing. Griffin pointed at him. “You’re dead!”
Matt held up his hands. “It wasn’t me.”
Griffin scanned the room. Anna was wiping tears from her eyes; she was laughing so hard. Kiera was gaping, shocked by the sight of him. Evan peeked into the room from the sleeping area, then he laughed too. Matt was dying, but he was looking at me. That seemed to clue Griffin in on the real culprit. “Kyle,” he stated. “Did you do this?”
“I’ll help you clean it up,” I got out between giggles.
“You bet your ass you will.” He ran a hand through his hair, noticed all the powder in his fingers, then smirked and blew the shit in our faces. Matt and I started coughing. And laughing. Griffin got a vicious gleam in his eye, and I—too late—realized my mistake. I’d wanted to piss him off a little, but I’d inadvertently given him a weapon.
Matt and I raised our hands. “Don’t!” we said together, then Matt pointed at Gibson. “Baby in the room! Baby in the room!”
Griffin hesitated as he glanced at his daughter. Then he sighed. “I’m gonna go wash this crap off,” he told Anna. Then to us, he said, “Consider today your lucky day, shitheads.”
With that, he turned around and stalked off, leaving a light trail of powder along the floor. Oops. I might have gotten carried away with that prank.
Matt raised his arms, letting them fall back to his sides with a heavy thud. “What did I do?” he called to Griffin. He was ignored. Matt turned back to me with a frown. “Thanks for that.” He held out his hand. “I want my Sharpie back.”
Grinning, I slid it into my pocket. “What Sharpie?” Matt pursed his lips at me, and I pointed to his cheek. “You got a little something right there.”
He wiped the white dust off with his sleeve, looked at it, then started laughing. “You’re an asshole,” he muttered, then he smacked my shoulder. “Make me coffee.”
He sat down next to Kiera so he could play with Gibson. Evan strode over to stand behind him, peering down at the newborn with a soft smile on his face. The shower in the back kicked on, and I heard Griffin singing to himself…something about tying me to a park bench, covered in maple syrup and birdseed. I smiled as I looked around this bus full of mischief and love. At least we were all in this together, and no matter what this day brought, I was sure that wouldn’t change.
A car from the label arrived a little while later to take us to the radio station. Kiera was a bundle of nerves as we drove. I smiled as I watched her anxiety, both proud and amazed that she was going to do this with me. Then, to ease her fears and tell her how much I loved her book, I gave her the message I’d written while she’d gotten dressed.
Kiera looked at the petal in her palm with confusion on her face. I’d written You are a, then drawn a little star. When she peeked up at me, I explained. “I finished your book. It’s amazing, Kiera. You really should get it published.”
She smiled in a way that was both shy and grateful. “Thank you. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it after you read it all.”
Putting my arm across her shoulders, I drew her to me. “I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m pretty sure I love you even more. How you see me…I never thought anyone would ever…” I couldn’t even finish saying it. Being unloved and unwanted for so long had hollowed me out, and having her warmth fill that hole…it was still too much sometimes. A joy so bright it burned. On really dark days, I still felt undeserving of it. But those days were few and far between now.
Kiera looked up at me with understanding and compassion in her eyes. “That’s because you don’t see yourself as clearly as I see you,” she said.
Knowing I’d said similar sentiments to her made me laugh. “God, we really are peas in a pod, aren’t we?”
She snuggled into my side with a smile. I fingered her wedding ring, feeling nothing but contentment. Today was the first time in a long time that I was going out in public with my ring on my left hand, where it belonged, and I already felt great about that decision. I honestly hoped someone asked me about it because I knew exactly what I’d tell them. Yes, I am married, and this is my wife right here, Mrs. Kiera Kyle.
I was lost in that daydream when Kiera suddenly asked, “Where the hell do you keep getting these petals?”
With a devilish grin, I told her, “I’m a man of many mysteries, Mrs. Kyle.” Damn, I loved saying that. Kiera gave me such a cute pout after my noninformative statement that I had to laugh. And the amusement felt good. It made me think that maybe Griffin was right. Maybe today was our lucky day and everything was going to turn out just fine. Honestly, we should have done this ages ago.
When we got to the radio station, the crowd was a lot bigger than I’d expected. People were waving signs, sporting our shirts, screaming, crying…it was so surreal. Still. I honestly didn’t think it would ever feel normal, and it shouldn’t because this was in no way a normal life.
