Lakeside Cougars - The Complete Trilogy, page 61
This was getting to that ‘complicated’ part he’d been waiting anxiously for.
Well, time to face the music, one way or the other.
Atticus put his phone away for now and headed out of his office. He walked into the living room, where he found Colleen sitting on the couch and knew immediately that he had fucked up.
“...hi,” he said.
“Hello, Atticus,” she replied, just a little sternly.
“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
She opened her mouth but nothing came out. For a moment, she looked like she was trying to hold onto her frustration. When she tried speaking again, she seemed like she had held onto some, but not most of it.
“We are annoyed. Please sit, my love,” she replied.
“Sorry,” Atticus said as he sat down on the couch with her. “I’ve just been so fucking busy–”
“I know,” Colleen said, putting a hand on his leg. “Let’s just slow down. I’m not angry. Neither are Edith or Susan. But we are...a little frustrated.”
“Where, um, are they?” he asked, looking around, his worrying growing.
“Handling responsibilities outside the house. Edith has a piano lesson today and Susan is at the cat shelter. Given I’m the most stable of the three of us, I thought it best for me to handle this conversation. Also because I’m the most...understanding. Of this particular situation.”
“I’m listening.”
“I appreciate it. So, let me start by saying that this isn’t so much a fuckup on your part as it is a...I suppose, a failure of communication and expectation on both our sides. Again: not angry. It’s just...we’re very early in our relationship, all of us, so our emotions are running pretty high. Honestly, if this had taken place even a month from now, it probably would be a lot closer to fine. But basically, we didn’t really expect you to actually lock yourself away in a room for twelve to fifteen hours a day every day for four days in a row right after all of us moved in together.”
“That’s...fair,” he replied, feeling a little defensive. “I feel like I did a decent job of explaining just how much needed to be done, though. And how important it was.”
“I think you did. To me. I think the sentiment from Edith and Susan, and perhaps Kate, is that they’re mildly, mmm, disappointed to learn that you were able to actually do so.”
“Disappointed? I...I mean isn’t that kind of impressive? How many other guys can actually work for fourteen hours straight on something? Let alone something they’re passionate about?”
She smiled. “I know, dear. It is impressive. But this is why I am the one having this conversation. Because I understand what it’s like to crunch and grind on your passion. I understand how necessary that can be, and I have at least a vague understanding of how even more necessary it might be for someone in your field. But they’re feeling a little...well, let’s put it this way: you went from ‘I cannot stop fucking you’ to ‘I’m locking myself away in a room in the same house as you all day every day’. Does that make sense?”
“...oh. I-wait, so are you saying you all were hoping my horniness was going to be so strong I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you?”
“Well, less horniness and more love, but yeah, basically...what is this look?” she asked, her amusement coming onto her beautiful face.
“I just...okay, now I feel more in the right. I was doing a responsible thing. This is my career. And–” Colleen raised an eyebrow. Atticus paused, realizing at once he’d wandered back into potentially dangerous territory. “And I love you, and I’m most certainly falling for Edith and Susan, and I respect you all, it’s just...isn’t that the choice you would want me to make?”
Colleen’s amusement transformed into a more genuine smile. “Yes, Atticus. And honestly, I’m rather proud of you. For that and for this...I’m so glad you aren’t afraid to stand up to me if you feel like you should. It’s intensely reassuring. And you’re right, in that you made a good choice, the smart choice. However, the point I was ultimately going to settle on was this: I think it’s only fair that you attempt a more balanced approach.”
He found himself beginning to respond that he was operating on a timeline, a tight and rigid one...but was he? Was he really?
Cold Reset wasn’t broken. There were no game-breaking glitches or bugs, as far as he knew. Honestly, he had managed to write some very clean code and it had all layered itself so sweetly and finely that the patch wasn’t even necessarily crucial. It could have waited. He could have cut the hours in half and taken twice as long and basically nothing would have changed.
“...shit,” he muttered. He sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I am going to have to figure out a better balance. You’ve got to remember, I spent nine months in almost total isolation, crunching constantly, every day. That’s been my reality. And before then, it wasn’t like I had any experience trying to manage more than one relationship.”
“I know, sweetheart. I did take this into account, and I did explain this to Edith and Susan. And Kate. She complained to me about you. But they all said that was a very good point. And that’s why no one is angry. That being said...I think it wouldn’t be out of the question to perhaps try to do something to make up for, shall we say, lost time? And perhaps celebrate the fact that we’re all moved in?” she suggested.
“That’s a very good idea. I have actually been thinking of something similar.”
“And what did you come up with?”
“Date days. For each of you. I have some ideas of what to do, but also we can keep them flexible to do things you really feel like doing. Mostly it’ll be about each of you.”
“Well…” Colleen lost her smile, looking mildly guilty. “Try not to get too deep into that mindset. It’s about both of us. You and me. You and Edith. You and Susan. We. Us. Together. Don’t go down the path of sacrifice, Atticus. I know what lies down that path.”
“What does?” he asked uncertainly.
“Resentment. Heartbreak. I’ve seen it happen. You feel that you’re lucky just to have the relationship, and that you aren’t allowed to ask for anything in return, eventually. And that lets resentment in, one grain at a time, and it builds. I understand wanting to make up, if not for the past few days then for the feelings those days caused, rightful or not. That’s a good instinct. Just...be careful. Keep sticking up for yourself.”
He considered it. She had a point. And he did not want to do anything to mess these relationships up.
“I’ll keep it in mind,” he said. Then winced a little as he recalled Vetra’s text. “There is, uh, one other thing.”
“Oh?”
“Vetra. She just texted me, like literally thirty seconds before I came out here. She wants to hang out today.”
Colleen laughed suddenly. “Oh, my dear, sweet boy...this is not going to be easy for you,” she murmured, her amusement returning. “Go be with her.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m not sure how long Edith is to be gone, but Susan is supposed to be at the shelter for a long stay today. Someone called in sick. And I’ll be all right, dear. I’m actually beginning to immerse myself in my own passion project.”
“Oh yeah? You’ve settled?” he asked.
“I have. I will tell you more about it...mmm, on our date day. Which should not be first. I imagine that might be your instinct, but Edith should be the first one you take on a date.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because she is the most insecure. Much as I love her, it is the truth. So, take her on the first date day. Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” he agreed, pulling his phone out.
She laughed. “Already so eager. No lingering doubt over whether or not it’s the right choice to go running towards Vetra…”
“Wait, should there be?” he asked, pausing.
“No dearest, there should not be. Maybe send texts to the others, but no. They will understand. Also I imagine they will feel exactly what I do when they hear the news about the date days.”
“And what is that?”
“Overwhelming joy.”
“You’re doing a lot to hide your overwhelming joy.”
“I’m a little hungover. Had a bit too much weed and wine last night. And that session we had was rather...lengthy.”
“Yes, it most certainly was. And rough. Not that I’m complaining.”
“Neither am I. Now, make sure you clean up before you go off to jump Vetra. Also, please find out if she’s bisexual. I would give a lot to be in a threesome with the two of you.”
“So would I,” he muttered as he fired off a response to Vetra that he was free.
Her own response was very quick: Excellent. Would you be open to hiking around the hillside today? I want to get to know you before we have a proper ‘date’ and I do that best hiking in the wilderness.
He responded that he would.
Perfect. Please meet me at the Ranger’s Station within the next half hour.
Atticus grinned, gave Colleen a kiss, and hopped off the couch to get ready.
CHAPTER TWO
And there was the Ranger’s Station.
Atticus tried to quell the anxiety rising in his stomach.
He could do this, he told himself. He had been doing this. He was currently successfully navigating relationships with four different women, three of whom were cougars. Well...mostly successfully.
He did feel bad about how they felt. Although he felt he’d done a decent, or at least adequate job conveying just how intensely he would be isolating, he did feel bad about their reaction to it. Yeah, going forward he was definitely going to need to calibrate that more.
But the problem here was that Vetra was not like any of the other women in his life.
He wasn’t sure how he knew that, because he didn’t really know Vetra, but somehow he knew. It was obviously that she was different from Susan or Kate, even Edith. She was closest to Colleen, she had that kind of quiet confidence.
But there was a deceptive depth to her, an element of mystery added.
And not just because they hadn’t really gotten to know each other at all yet.
Enigma seemed to hang around her like an aura, a barely-perceptible shroud.
He had been drawn to Colleen and Edith partially because they were so noticeably older than him. At some point it had occurred to him that attraction just was and he’d stopped asking why, so he had never completely parsed why he liked specifically older women.
But he did.
And while he wasn’t sure what her actual age was (early forties?), Vetra was in some way older than either of them. There was a depth to her that didn’t exist in anyone else he knew. Atticus still wasn’t sure if that was merely perception or not, but he didn’t think it was. He wouldn’t be surprised to learn that she was some kind of retired Spec Ops soldier or something.
There she was.
He was pulling up to the station now and he could see her sitting casually on one of the benches, looking at him as he drove up. She wore dark clothes. A skintight pair of shorts that hugged her wonderful hips and a formfitting t-shirt. She also had coverings over her knees and fingerless black gloves on. And hiking boots.
He’d dressed in jean shorts and a t-shirt and was looking to break in his own new hiking boots he’d picked up during their latest trip out to Westfield.
There was something vaguely unsettling about Vetra, he realized as he parked and got out. It was a stillness, he realized. Just this absolute stillness to her when she was at rest. She vaguely reminded him of a preying mantis.
“Hello,” she offered, standing up.
“Hey,” he replied. “I’m really glad you agreed to this.”
She smiled, just a little. “So am I.” He walked up to join her by the bench, noticing she wasn’t turning to lead him to the trail. “There are things I require before going forward.”
“Yes.” He pulled out his phone and cued up all their test results. Each of the women had agreed to allow him to do this. And they’d all come back completely negative, as he’d expected.
“Thank you,” she murmured, accepting the phone and thumbing through it. He saw her eyes flick back and forth, up and down, consuming information in seconds. She was through reading everything very quickly. She looked back up. “And consent?”
He accepted the phone back and cued up the video he’d shot the night they’d gotten back from furniture shopping. All four of the women in his life sat scrunched up on the couch together. He had made sure to turn the volume down so only Vetra could hear as she scrutinized the video.
It was basically just Colleen saying that each of them were fully aware that she was courting their man, and they were all comfortable with any sexual and romantic entanglements they might get up to together, and the others agreeing.
“This is acceptable,” she said, a mildly amused smile on her face as she passed the phone back.
“Excellent.”
She crouched down and fished a slim black phone from one sock, navigated it for a moment, then passed it to him.
“Here is my reciprocal information,” she said.
Atticus accepted it and studied the screen. It was also a blood test for STIs, dated last week, everything marked negative. He nodded and gave her the phone back.
“I have no one else in my life at the moment,” she said. “I haven’t even been intimate with anyone in this town. In this state, really.” She paused. “I suppose I can’t say that for certain, factoring in who might have moved where. But suffice to say, it has been a long time since I’ve...copulated.”
“Unfortunate.”
“Perhaps.” Here, she turned towards the trail. “Shall we?”
He nodded. She began leading him away. His eyes flicked down to her ass and he felt a shiver of lust roll through him.
Good fucking lord was this woman in incredible shape. Slim and fit and pretty much perfect. She had the body of a twenty-something gymnast who had let herself go just a little and subsequently had padding in the perfect places.
Vetra paused before they could get far and when she looked back, a hesitant expression on her face, he suddenly wondered if she knew he’d been staring at her ass and was displeased. If that was the case, this date was not going to go well.
“I have learned from past experiences that I should warn you about the length of our hike. When I say ‘hike’, I mean that we will be out there for about six hours. Is this acceptable?”
“Yeah,” he replied, “although I will probably need a few breaks. I’m not in the best shape.”
She regained her small smile. “Really? I would have thought with so many women in your bed, your endurance would be high.”
He chuckled awkwardly. “That’s a good point. The only thing is that didn’t start happening until within the last...dear God, has it only been three weeks?”
“Wow. Three weeks. I’m impressed. Are you enjoying looking at my ass?” she asked as they hit the main trail and began ascending.
“Yes,” he replied.
She glanced briefly over her shoulder at him. Her eyes showed approval. “Very brave, but not arrogant. You are a curious individual.”
“Apparently.” He moved up to join walk beside her.
“I wasn’t complaining,” she murmured.
“I didn’t take it that way, I just would rather talk more easily with you than look at your ass.” He paused. “Well, for the moment.”
She laughed. “Good to know. It is nice to be appreciated physically and intellectually. So, what do you want to talk about?”
“First thing I want to know is: why did you agree to this?”
“Ah. Well...I suppose the short answer to that is that I am lonely. I haven’t had what I would call a genuine human connection in several years. To delve deeper, however, I think would require explaining my personal history.”
“I would love to hear your personal history.”
She glanced at him, one dark eyebrow arched. “What have you heard?”
“Literally nothing.”
“Is that why you’re so eager?”
“Yes! You’re very...cryptic. Very unknown. And not just to me, from what I can tell.”
“If you had to guess what my line of work was, what would that guess be?”
“Covert military.”
“Well...you aren’t completely wrong.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Don’t get too excited. I’ve never killed anyone. I’m no assassin or spy. I’m a scientist.”
“I still want to hear about you.”
“Very well, from the top then. I was born in Italy. My mother was a young, fiercely brilliant woman from a small seaside village that she knew was a dead end. My father was an American naval mechanic from Wisconsin who had found himself in much the same predicament as my mother, and that was why he joined the Navy and ended up meeting her. They were both very intense people who were never satisfied with what life had to offer. Their hunger for adventure was voracious. I was born about ten months after they met.”
She glanced his way, as though inviting comment.
“This is either going to be a very good relationship or a very bad one,” he said.
She nodded. “Yes. This one is a love story. Whenever anyone asked them how they could marry so young and so immediately and still be so in love decades later, they both had the same answer: ‘I just knew’. It seemed to explain it. I don’t believe in soul mates, but I do believe in compatibility, and I do believe that they were intensely, fiercely compatible.”
She led him off the trail suddenly, along a more rugged section of the hillside, into a patch of trees in the opposite direction he’d not so long ago followed Colleen.
“I was raised on military bases and in small towns for the first decade of my life. Then my father was involved in a scandal and dishonorably discharged. It took me years to get to the bottom of it, but in the end I discovered the truth: he had taken the fall for a corrupt higher up. I got my revenge on him, eventually. He died in prison a few years ago.”
