The Crash Box Set, page 19
part #1 of EMP Crash Series
“Yeah, Anna, but she's back home and I'm here. I'm going to try finding my way back to her.”
“Good luck with that, you'll need it.”
“I know.”
“What about those kids? You think they've got what it takes to survive in this world? They're not exactly the same as you and me. We've been through life. We know how ruthless and unforgiving it can be.”
Mack cast a quick glance over his shoulder to see that Luis and Grace were watching them warily. “You know what? I think they do. I wouldn't have made it this far without them. We make a good team. You should try trusting other people sometime. I don't think anyone is going to make it through this world alone.”
“Maybe not, but you can't go trusting everybody. There's only one rule here, do unto others as they would do unto you, only do it first.”
“I'll have to remember that one,” Mack said. “So you really think you'll be able to survive on your own? That you'll be able to find some secluded place where nobody will bother you? Aren't you worried about any stray people coming across your path and taking what's yours? Or more people like Mr. Smith?”
“There always are going to be people like that. I wouldn't just settle down anywhere. I'd like to find a cabin in the mountains somewhere, or someplace forgotten. I figure most people aren't going to have the skills to survive in this climate. As long as I can make it through winter I'll have my pick of places to stay.”
“I don't think you're giving people enough credit.”
“Then you've lived in a different world than me. Do you really think that when winter sets in people will have been able to adapt and set up shelter and provisions to last them through the cold months? It's going to take enough effort for them just to make it through the summer. Sure, I bet you'll get a lot of groups that will be able to find some comfort, but the vast majority? It's not even the conditions that are going to be the end of most people. Think about the emotional toll. There are small kids and babies out there who won't be able to last. How do you think their parents are going to be able to handle losing them?
“Then you have the fear of being alone, the fear of losing the world that you knew. There are no more hospitals, no more comforts that we're used to. Most people aren't used to living this kind of life that that's going to hell. Might be sad to say it but by this time next year the population will have dropped dramatically. Me? I'd prefer to be on my own. I don't want to risk being with a group of people when one of them loses their minds.”
“But you're forgetting that we are a social species. Will you really be able to handle being isolated from the rest of humanity? I know you might think you're able to now, but what about after you're spent a few months with only yourself for company? Maybe you're the one who is going to lose his mind?”
“Then it's probably better that I'm away from other people. I'm bad enough when I'm sane,” Saul said without a hint of humor in his voice.
“Maybe things are going to get worse before they get better, but I have to hope that we're going to make it through this. We stood together as a country once before, and we can do it again. We just need to be brave and conquer our fears, that's all. And the three of us are proof of that. We come from different backgrounds, but we can work together to try making it through this.”
“Like I said, good luck,” Saul replied.
Mack was pleased he had been on point with his profiling of Saul and was intrigued that in some ways they were different sides of the same coin. Both of them had a strong sense of discipline, although Mack's had been instilled into him from the army, whereas Saul's seemed to have been a product of his childhood and his need to prove people wrong. And while Saul had a bleaker view of humanity than Mack did, it was entirely pragmatic and Mack couldn't outright say he was wrong. As a matter of fact, Mack hadn't paid much attention to what they were going to do to survive winter, and it showed that Saul had a keen intellect when it came to surviving.
He wasn't wrong, either. There would be many people who would be ill-prepared for just how harsh winter was going to be without central heating or preserved food. He would have to keep his thoughts on a plan for that. While at the moment he felt it was still best to take one day at a time, he knew how quickly time could slip by. He didn't want to turn around and see it was suddenly winter and they had no plan for how to survive.
The quartet continued walking, being careful to watch for any sign of trouble. After their initial conversation things quietened down. At one point Mack dropped back to have a word with Grace and Luis, inquiring about their quietness, and they gestured toward Saul. Mack told them he didn't think they had anything to worry about from him.
Saul stopped suddenly and pointed across the river.
“That's where they threw me down,” he said. The others stopped, too.
It was strange to think that across this wide river there were other people, a threatening presence to innocents in the forest. They were so close and yet so far away, for there wasn't a bridge along the river for a while yet. Even then, according to Saul, their camp still was some distance away. Mack felt his fist clenching as his sense of righteousness wanted to find a way across the river and demolish Mr. Smith's infrastructure, but he had to be smart about it. He had Grace and Luis to think about, and Anna as well. There was no sense endangering them with a foolhardy mission. He already had done that back at the farm and they had been fortunate to escape with their lives.
Perhaps Saul was right and it was best simply to leave it be, but was that the first step in betraying his principles? He'd always followed orders and knew how to be true to his duty, but this time there was no high power giving him direction. He was on his own, and he was going to have to make his own way. While he had been given leadership training, this was a challenge for Mack. He was torn between two missions; that of trying to return to his wife, and of doing the right thing no matter what the cost.
Was it so wrong to be selfish in the new world and prioritize his own safety? It wasn't a question he was sure he had the answer to, but he was sure he would spend a lot more time thinking about it.
They began moving again, and Grace and Luis were still hanging a few steps behind. Mack knew Saul had noticed, but he figured the big man had been used to people making up their minds about him. When Luis and Grace spoke it was in low, hushed voices so only the two of them could hear each other.
“Do you think Mack made the right call in inviting him along?” Luis said.
“I don't know. I'm still suspicious of this whole story. We've had too many run-ins with this group, and now we just happen to come across someone who was a part of it? Seems a bit unlikely,” Grace said, her mind used to seeing conspiracies wherever she looked.
“What are you saying, that he found us on purpose?”
“It's a possibility. We certainly wouldn't see a dying man as a threat and we'd feel obliged to help him out. It's the perfect way for them to get information on us. He could be leading us to a trap right now.”
“It was a pretty convincing performance then, the way that he was drowning,” Luis said sarcastically.
“I never said that it was a good theory. I only said I had my suspicions, but stranger things have happened.”
“Like what?”
Grace shot him a look. “Maybe I'll tell you one day.”
“Well, I don't think he could have faked that but I'm not sure I trust him. Did you see the way he reacted when I mentioned the mental hospital and the prison? Do you think he could have escaped from one of them? Maybe he's one of those people who think they're someone else, and he's not really Saul at all. But he has the kind of look of a criminal, doesn't he? I could imagine him killing someone. I don't think he'd be in jail for petty theft, it would have to be something big.”
“What does it matter? You think just because he was in jail he couldn't be trusted? People change, Luis, and not everyone who is in jail is a bad person. You shouldn't judge people before you know their story,” and with that she sped up and left Luis standing by himself, wondering what he had said that had been so wrong.
It came as a surprise to him, as he thought after he had seen her bathing they actually had made some progress. He was beginning to think of her as a friend. Yet now he didn't know what to think.
Mack stopped and shouted forward. The rest of them followed his gaze and looked down the river. In the distance, among the frothing water, was a small black mark. They had to strain to see it properly, but when they did they saw that it was two people in a canoe. Mack called out to them and waved his arms, hoping they would see him. Grace looked worried, always cautious when it came to new people.
“Should we be doing that? What if they're with the group?” Luis asked.
“They didn't have anything like that,” Saul said.
Mack sprinted farther up the riverbank and shouted at the top of his voice, gesticulating wildly with his arms, but to no avail. He watched hopelessly as the people in the canoe drifted out of sight, down the river, away to a new area. Mack turned and looked a little despondent.
“Why did you want to talk to them so badly?” Luis asked.
“Because that's the way forward. We have to start thinking about different modes of transportation. We can't walk everywhere,” Mack said.
“They certainly have the right idea. That's the way to go, down to the coast, get a boat, and sail on the seas. If you stay where there are fish you have an endless supply of food, and as long as you have a way to make freshwater out of the sea you'll be fine on that front, too. You can go up and down the coast and not have to worry about other people. Hell, you might even find an island out at sea where you can live in your own tropical paradise.” After he said this he started to laugh.
When Mack asked him about it he replied, “I always used to laugh at the people who stored food waiting for this to happen, but it turns out they had the right idea all along. I bet they're sitting in their bunkers enjoying the comforts they made for themselves. Makes you wonder who the real outcasts in society were. Because now I'd love to have been in their position.”
“I don't know,” Mack said. “Right now they have the best situation out of all of us. Although, I wouldn't have wanted to sacrifice my life by betting so much time and effort on the end of the world.”
After their disappointment at not stopping the people in the canoe they continued walking for the rest of the day, catching and roasting a rabbit for dinner. Things still were tense between Grace and Luis, but for someone who claimed he was a lone wolf Saul integrated into their group quite well. The following day they began peeling away from the river and started making their way back to the road, in the opposite direction from the prison and the mental hospital. The trees began thinning as they emerged next to a road. It was slightly strange to be in a different environment after having been in the woods for so long.
The road was a narrow strip of concrete with more forest on the other side. Mack checked the map and led them toward the city. The road stretched out a long way before them, and again there was a distinct lack of people around. Yet there were lumps in their throats as almost all of them expected something bad to happen. They had come across a few cars, all of them drained of gas, but they decided they still would come in handy as shelter for the night. It was somewhat humbling to see this object that was such a part of their lives reduced to a mostly useless hunk of metal, and it only served to hammer home just how much their lives had changed.
Chapter 6
Now that they were on the road to the city Mack felt a little better. While they had been in the forest it had seemed endless, as if they were making no progress. Now that they could see the road stretching ahead in front of them he knew he was on the right track. The thought of Mr. Smith and other threats out there still concerned him. But he was glad to have seen the people in the canoe, as it reminded him there were still other people like him out there, people who just were trying to make it through the day.
The four of them had split up into different cars after agreeing to set up a watch schedule. Mack volunteered for the first watch as he was used to staying up later than the others anyway. He was sitting in the back seat of a car, looking at the stars through the window. It was still a ways to the city, but soon he would be there, and hopefully he would find something that could help him get back to Anna.
Thoughts of his wife plagued him and it took a concerted effort to avoid becoming engulfed by them during waking hours. But when night fell and all was quiet around him he indulged in thinking about the past, even though it was painful to be reminded that he was not with her. The two of them had spent too much of their relationship apart, always with the understanding that one day they would let go of their careers and focus on each other. When Saul spoke earlier of regrets Mack knew all too well what he was speaking about. Now he wished he had spent as many waking moments with Anna as possible. When he closed his eyes he just about could hear her melodic laugh and taste the strawberries off her lips, but as time went on it became more difficult to visualize. His worst fear was not death; it was forgetting what his wife looked like.
Now that Saul had mentioned winter Mack cast his mind forward and thought about Anna, and if she was going through the same thing. It was difficult to think of her living her life hundreds of miles away when neither of them knew the other was still alive. Would their marriage vows hold true? If they were apart for years would he want her to spend them alone, and would he want to cut himself off from comfort and companionship? They were difficult questions, and not ones that he wanted to think about at the moment. The pain was still too real, and it was too soon to think about anyone else. All he wanted was to be in his wife's loving arms and for her to tell him that she was going to love him until the end of time, just like they had done those many moons ago.
The last conversation Mack had had with Anna had not been the ideal one. He had spoken to her just before he had boarded the plane, telling her that he was doing one last job before his final debriefing. She was on her way out so they only chatted briefly, as they had been expecting to see each other the following day, but that never happened. That was the last time Mack ever had heard her voice, and since no electronic devices worked, he couldn't even check the last voice mail she had left him, or any of her texts.
Mack was never one to focus too much on the past or what he had lost, he always had been taught to look toward the future. If something bad happened, then it was within your power to turn it into something good. You couldn't control what happened to you, but you could control how you reacted to it and what you chose to do next. Those were the mantras he repeated over and over again in his head while images of Anna lurked in the background. He saw what she had been wearing on their first date together, that simple outfit with the beret perched atop her head at an angle. Somehow she could throw on clothes and they all fit perfectly together. There were few times that Mack had been truly in awe in his life, mostly when he had met foreign dignitaries, but when he saw Anna for the first time he had been paralyzed.
For a long time Mack never thought he would find someone like Anna. He had been a career man, and while he had enjoyed some fleeting relationships, his first love was his country, and the duty that came with it. This meant sacrificing a lot, and though he tried a long-distance relationship with some of his partners it never worked out, and in the end he gave up trying. That was until Anna.
He couldn't believe his luck when they first started talking. He was almost afraid at the end of the first date to tell her what he did for a living, because he expected her to react like any number of other people would and wish him good luck. Anna was a treasure and he was sure she could have had any man she chose, and for some reason Mack still couldn’t figure out why she had chosen him. They agreed to keep to a schedule of communication, and during the first few months of their fledgling relationships they spoke mostly over Skype while having dinner together, which often meant one of them getting up in the early hours of the morning. But that built a strong basis for their relationship, and when Mack was home on leave, the two of them were inseparable. At least they had been until this disaster had struck.
As the moon hung in the sky Mack looked up at it and wondered if Anna was doing the same, wherever she was. One of the little quirks in their relationship was that whenever they looked up at the moon they would know it as a constant, and that it linked them no matter where they were on the planet. Now it was doing the same thing, and it was an important landmark as Mack really needed to keep that connection alive. For now it was the hope that was driving him, but if it ever became clear that Anna was dead or that there was no way he was going to see her again, well, he didn't know how he would react to that.
The more he thought about her the more his mind drifted back to the first time they met. For all his vaunted skills at profiling people he never quite had managed to figure her out, and that was probably part of what attracted him to her in the first place. He almost could feel her coming to him, calling his name, could almost sense her reaching out to caress his cheek and plant a kiss on his lips, followed by another, lighter one, as if to remind them both that he was hers. Mack sighed and suddenly realized his eyes were closed and he was falling asleep. He jerked himself up violently, resulting in his head banging against the roof of the car. He yawned, and knew that if he was going to keep watch he couldn't stay sitting like that. So he got out of the car and began pacing up and down along the road. He checked on the others and found they were all resting, which disappointed him a little as he would have liked some company.
His eyes had adjusted to the dim light so he could make out rudimentary shapes, such as other cars. As he paced along he thought about this road and how, just recently, it would have been filled with people driving to and from the city. Yet now it was barren and deserted. Just as he thought he was alone with his thoughts he heard a sound from the edge of the forest, a twig snapping. His head jerked around and he peered into the darkness. From this distance the forest was a murky black, and it was difficult to differentiate the trees from anything else. At some points he thought he saw something moving, but moments later he wasn't sure. He crept forward slowly, figuring it was probably just some animal, but one never could be too careful. The closer he got to the edge of the forest the easier it was to see the gaps in between the trees, but he was still reluctant to enter just in case it was a trap.
