The Crash Box Set, page 124
part #1 of EMP Crash Series
“We're not leaving here without Daisy,” she said, and then began walking among her patrol, talking to each of them in case they had seen anything that could be of use.
Although it was also to remind them that she was there and that she had a plan, even if she wasn't entirely convinced herself. But she remembered something Mack had told her once. Always appear as if things are within your control, and that you know what you were doing, even if you don’t, because the people under your command need to have that confidence in you. Confident was the last thing Grace felt, though. Despite all she had done ever since the end of the world, she still felt as though she was failing.
By the time she had gone around to everyone the morning sun was rising and the golden light slithered over the city, pushing the shadows back. Now that they could see better they scoured the area again, still calling out for Daisy in the vain hope that she was around. However, with each passing moment that hope diminished until it was barely there.
Grace went up to Saul and asked him to lead the search while she took a few moments for herself to think about things. Saul nodded. The two of them had been through so much together that he trusted her unconditionally, and would do anything she asked. He went around, barking orders like a drill sergeant to try keeping the search going and prevent people from giving up. Meanwhile, Grace stepped aside and went somewhere private where she could be alone with her thoughts. With people around her, though, it was difficult to be alone, and Anna was soon by her side.
“Grace, is there anything you'd like to talk about?” she asked gently.
“Not really,” she said.
“It's just that I've been married to Mack for a long time, and in love with him even longer, so I know something about listening to people who are in charge. I know how difficult it can be for someone to carry that weight on their shoulders.”
Grace turned to face her. “I was supposed to keep these people safe. I told Luis I was good at this, that this is what I could bring to New Haven, and it was my purpose, but I just keep putting people in harm's way. I shouldn't be out here. I should just go back to New Haven and let you or Saul take over. It's not fair to everyone else. I'll only end up getting someone else hurt.”
“You know that's not true, and you know you can't put all this on yourself.”
“Can't I? There's nobody else to put it on.”
“I know you're hurting right now, and you want to take care of these people, but the simple fact is there are some things out there you can't control. Obviously, with hindsight maybe you'd have done things differently, but in that moment you made the decision you thought was right. None of us questioned it. Hell, we'd have made the same decision in your place.”
“Isn't it my job to try seeing those consequences before they happen?”
“Nobody can see the future. Grace, you're human, cut yourself some slack. There wasn't any immediate threat. We set up a watch. We couldn't see this happening, but right now we need your head in the game because you are good at this stuff, and you're the rightful leader. Everyone here trusts you.”
“Mack would have seen it coming.”
“You can't compare yourself to him. He's had years of experience and training to get to where he is now, and even he still makes mistakes. I could tell you plenty of stories about him, but they're not mine to tell, and they're not important anyway. What is important is that he was always there for his men, like you're here for yours. And you can't blame yourself for what happened at the docks either. Nobody could have seen that coming. Even Mack didn't see it coming. So, I want you to snap yourself out of this funk right now and get back out here because these people need you, and you need to do it yourself. You're a good leader, Grace, you just need to stop laying so much blame on yourself. Let's find the people who are responsible for this, the ones who actually took Daisy.”
Anna's words were impassioned, and they had a profound effect on Grace. They were blunt words, but they were exactly what Grace needed to hear in that particular moment. She nodded and pressed her lips firmly together. There still were plenty of thoughts she needed to work through in her mind, but Anna was right. She was the leader, and she was the one who had to show them what to do.
As she marched back outside she wondered if Mack ever had had doubts such as this. It was strange to think so, for she only knew him as the capable man he was, and didn't even think of him as a younger, unsure man still trying to make his way through life. But she thought about all the things they had been through and how he had conducted himself. Then she summoned forth that appearance as well to try engendering inspiration and strength in the people she was leading now. They had returned from searching the area with no success. There was no sign of anything, no trace at all, and the whole thing was a big mystery.
“Should some of us go into the forest while everyone stays here to look for Daisy?” Gary asked.
“No. We're not splitting up, and we're not leaving Daisy behind. There is strength in numbers, and whoever took Daisy is going to have to answer to us. I don't know why or how they did it, but we're going to search this place until we find them. They can't have gone far. We're not going to send word out to New Haven either. I don't want anyone to be left alone. We're going to work as a group and we're going to get through this together. Somewhere close Daisy is waiting for us to rescue her, so let's get to it.”
But even with the sunlight as their ally, they still were unable to find anything, and as the day dragged on, everyone was getting more frustrated and more confused. It seemed supernatural, the way that Daisy’s captors had entered the camp like a ghost and then made their way out without anyone seeing anything, and there wasn't any sign of another camp nearby. Grace didn't stop searching, though, and she led by example until the darkness fell again, and they were forced to give up the search.
Grace wiped the sweat off her forehead, hoping the following day would be more successful. She knew people in New Haven were waiting for food as well, and she couldn't spend all their time searching for Daisy. It was a struggle to know which decision was the right one to make. She breathed deeply and tried to clear her mind, remembering that she had people around her she could ask for advice, and that deep down this was who she was now, not that scared girl who hid behind a computer screen, but a leader.
During the night, they made sure to have two people on watch at any given time, just in case the people who stole Daisy came back. Given that they hadn't found any evidence that people were nearby, it seemed unlikely that anyone would be able to come into the camp, but Grace thought it better to be safe than sorry. The first watch went without incident. However, on the second watch the two men were getting antsy. One of them needed to relieve himself, so he went away, much to the chagrin of his partner, who reminded him what Grace had said about splitting up.
“I'll just be a minute. Call out if you hear anything,” he said, but when he came back his partner was gone, and he had to bear the shame of his mistake.
Everyone looked at each other, wondering what kind of creature was able to come into the camp and leave without a trace, for they were sure that no mortal men could have been capable of such an act. No matter what was responsible though, Grace was determined to stop it.
Chapter 18
“How the hell can this keep happening?” Grace asked in the dead of night.
Everyone had been roused once again to try finding the person who had been taken, but again there was no trace. It didn't make any sense to Grace because wherever the mysterious kidnappers had appeared from it must have been close. So, there must have been some way to figure out where they were. Before sleeping she had been worried that they had moved away from Daisy and never would be able to find her again. That idea made sense, but now it turned out that the mystery people had been lurking nearby the entire time! There were no footprints left, nor were there any sign of the direction they had headed. It baffled her and the others that someone could have sneaked into their camp without their knowledge and taken someone from right under their noses. Whoever had taken the two people must have had a close watch on the patrol to know when they were most vulnerable.
“I bet they've been laughing at us this whole time. They're probably watching us now,” Saul said grimly, and everyone felt an unsettling wave of paranoia wash over them.
Their skin tingled as they cast their eyes about the area, looking toward the barren buildings and suddenly feeling the eerie quiet of the city around them. For most of them, especially those who had been out on regular patrols, they had grown used to the silence of the city, which was a far cry from what it used to be. While it never had been the biggest city in the country, there were hundreds of thousands of residents, and the gap left by them was huge. Wind whistled through the empty buildings, and everyone was aware of the abyss in which they were left. It was different in New Haven, where a settlement was being built, and there was usually someone around to talk to. Out here in the city it was easy to feel alone, and vulnerable.
Suddenly a supernatural explanation made more sense to some of those on the patrol. It was the only way to explain the inexplicable, but it left them feeling helpless. How could they defend themselves against an enemy that remained a mystery? Fear was starting to seize all of those around Grace, and she could see them crumbling before her eyes. Each of them were panicking.
“What if tonight I'm the one who’s taken,” they all thought to themselves privately, and a few of them said it out loud as well.
Unfortunately, Grace didn't have any answers for them, and this was perhaps her greatest test as a leader. Somehow, she had to rally their morale, when all anyone wanted to do was to stay safe and leave this forsaken place. They started thinking of this area as cursed, as if it were some sort of Bermuda Triangle, and the worry was written all over their faces.
“You're going to have to do something about this, Grace. This isn't good,” Anna said.
For the most part, the people of New Haven were resolute and sturdy, and they could deal with whatever life threw at them. However, this was a threat unseen and that made the fear grow to an unmanageable degree. Nobody could offer any facts to comfort them, or a plan. Grace stood there in the midst of it all, while people debated among themselves.
“We should go back to New Haven and get reinforcements. This is going to be another war! They can't just keep taking us without us doing anything about it, and we can't stay here night after night and wait to be picked off. Eventually, we'll get to a point where there are only a handful of us left, and then where will we be? We'll stand less of a chance of making it out of here than we do now, and there won't be anyone to warn New Haven,” one man said.
“I agree that we shouldn't stay here, but we can't just go to New Haven,” a woman replied. “We came out here to find food, and we can't just go back empty-handed. We all know how important it is to find food on this patrol, and there's nowhere else to look. We have to carry on out here, and do our best to make sure we take care of the people who are left.”
“And leave the ones who already have been taken?” Gary said incredulously.
The woman, and a few others who agreed with her position, merely offered a weak shrug in return. It wasn't particularly what anyone wanted to do, but it seemed to make sense. Gary shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing.
“We're not going to leave anyone out here,” Saul said gruffly, feeling as though it was his duty to step in and calm things down before they escalated any further. But, of course, given his size and the way he naturally appeared to be aggressive, he was never one to calm down an argument.
“Do you really want to be the one to go to Mack and tell him we left people out here? I've known him long enough to tell you what his reaction will be.”
“Well, Mack isn't here, is he?” the woman snapped.
“We are, and we have to do whatever we can to survive. I'm not saying we must leave them here forever, just until we can figure out what's going on. You can't tell me that it makes sense to stay here, searching aimlessly through the days, and then waiting for someone to be taken at night. I can't believe anyone would think that was a good idea.”
“This isn't helping anyone,” Anna said, stepping in.
“Saul is right, and you all know it. Mack has tried to instill his values in all of us, and by living in New Haven you have agreed to live by those values. That includes never leaving anyone behind. How do you think the two of them feel right now, having been taken? Wherever they are, they know we're doing everything we can to find them and bring them back, and you'd be feeling exactly the same way if you were in their position.”
“I'd love to be able to help them, I'm just saying that we need to prioritize a bit. The entire settlement needs to be fed, and we can't sacrifice their well-being for the sake of just two people. I know that sounds harsh, but we have to be pragmatic in these situations.”
“You're scared, and you've every right to be, but that doesn't mean we have to slip back into selfishness, only looking out for ourselves,” Anna continued. “It means we have to be stronger and able to look past our fear to help everyone we care about.”
However, her calm words did not do anything. People were too frightened to think clearly, and now that the discussion had been started everyone wanted to put forward their two cents. Soon they began talking over each other, and the volume rose to an untenable level. Soon people had to shout to be heard. They yelled at each other, and soon the arguments spilled into other issues besides what to do about the abducted members of their party. Long-held grudges surfaced, and insults were thrown around. Anna and Saul, the other two most senior members of the group, also couldn't calm them down.
And all the while Grace stood away from them, wondering if she had what it took to quell the anger and fear all of them were feeling. She was lost in her own mind, and the venomous words the rest of the patrol were flinging back and forth like arrows and spears faded into the background. She stared out at the city, wishing she knew exactly what to do, wishing that she had a mind more like Mack’s, trained to think of a plan to deal with any situation. All she wanted was tell them what they should do and how they should do it, to give them guidance, but she couldn't find the words.
Perhaps Luis was right, she thought. Perhaps she wasn't made for this, and she was supposed to stay away from the patrols and remain in New Haven where she could direct things from behind the scenes. Perhaps she just had been fooling herself into thinking she was anything other than a fraud, and that all her successes up to that point had been nothing but luck. She wasn't anything special, just another person who had been caught up in the whirlwind of the apocalypse. How much had she changed, really? She still had no parents, and for all the things she had accomplished in the apocalypse, there were days when she didn't feel any different than the girl who had been scared of the world.
Luis knew her better than anyone, and even he had said she should stay where it was safe. Maybe he was right, and this whole endeavor had been doomed from the start. She never should had led the patrol, she should have let someone more capable than her do it.
But then, a voice whispered in her mind. At first, she barely could hear it, but it soon grew louder and stronger, until it wasn't a whisper at all, but a full-blown thundering shout. It was Mack's voice, reminding her of all she had done, of all the ways she had grown and changed since they first had met. Grace pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. She could picture Mack lecturing her, inspiring her, and she felt a swell of courage rise inside her. A smile played on her lips, and she knew the voice was right. She knew that more than anything. She only had to shed the skin of the past and embrace the fact that she had changed. She had to leave the person she was behind and fully live the life she now owned. She was a leader. She was someone who could take charge and inspire people. She was someone who could find her way out of desperate situations, just as Mack could, and if other people didn't believe in her, then that didn't matter because she believed in herself, and she always would.
All of a sudden, the noises around her came crashing through. It was as though they all had been muffled while she had been lost in her own mind. Now that she was free of that, the cacophony rose dramatically, and she was caught in the maelstrom.
“Stop! All of you!” she screamed, whipping herself around to face them. She strode into the middle of them. They were so shocked to hear the ferocity in her voice that they were immediately silenced, and though she was but a petite girl, she had an imposing aura about her.
“I've listened to you all and you all have to stop this. This isn't getting us anywhere. I know you're frustrated and scared. I am as well. Whoever these people are, they have an advantage over us because we have no idea who they are, where they're hiding, or how many of them there are. But that doesn't mean things are hopeless. We're not going to turn back to New Haven, not now. That's not an option. The longer we leave them out here, the harder it's going to be to find them. We're also not going to continue into the forest to look for food, not yet anyway. We still have a window of time to stay here for a little bit longer and I'm going to use every minute of that to get our people back. Believe me, I'm not going to let everyone in New Haven starve, but every life in New Haven matters, and I know that I wouldn't be able to enjoy one scrap of any food we get if they're still out here.”
“So, what are we going to do? Just stay here and wait for someone else to be taken and hope that this time whoever these people are will make a mistake? I don't want my life to hinge on that,” one of the dissenting voices said.
“Oh no, we're not going to go anywhere. We're going to set a trap, but it's not going to work unless we all work together. So, I suggest that we stop arguing and get to work, because it's going to be a long night.”
Everyone felt better now that there was a plan in place and something on which to focus their minds. Grace outlined the plan to them. It was simple, but one they hoped would prove effective nonetheless. They would lay in wait at night to pounce, and hopefully catch someone before they were able to take another member of the patrol. As soon as darkness fell, Grace and a few others stayed awake all through the night, waiting and waiting. The minutes turned into hours, and they all remained silent. As time went on, Grace began to fear that this was the night when nobody would be taken at all. They couldn't afford to waste the days waiting for the nights to come around. If the enemy was watching them, they may well have known that Grace and the others were laying in wait, and could have changed their plans.
