The Crash Box Set, page 114
part #1 of EMP Crash Series
They all had been locked in a large room that used to be a storeroom. One thing on the list to build was a proper jailhouse where people could be held for a night or two. However, until that was built this would have to suffice, especially for such a large group. Maggie left Mack to speak with those from New Haven, while Mack went and stood in front of the sailors and paced around, unable to mask his disappointment. The worst thing was that they all looked smug, and didn't seem to care about the havoc they had wrought. To them, nothing had any consequence, and Mack didn't know how to deal with people who had such little regard for authority. There were only two exceptions, the people who weren't involved. One was Flint, and the other was a thin man who barely had said a word to anyone since arriving in New Haven. Even though he was a part of the sailors' group, he didn't seem to fully belong, and had a nervous disposition.
“You seem to think you can do anything you like here. While the world has ended and you've been used to being masters of your own fates, that doesn't mean anything goes. There are rules, and I think, so far, we've been pretty accommodating, but you can't expect us to let this behavior slide. I have worked hard to make the people here feel safe, and that means no brawls. I will not tolerate any future behavior like this. If something such as this happens again, you all will be shown to the gates, and sent back out into the city.
“I'd love it if you all could stay here and join us but, New Haven has to come first. If you don't buy into our philosophy, we don't have a place for you. Oh, and from now on, your portions are going to be monitored closely. You've been reminded what life on land is like, so now it's time you remember how to be responsible. This isn't a resort, and we aren't here for your amusement.” Before any of them could respond he strode out and left them to ponder his words.
Chapter 3
Mack walked back out to where Maggie was standing. Mack glowered. Luis tried to apologize, but Mack raised his hand. Maggie opened her mouth to speak, too, but he glared at her and made it clear he didn't want to speak to them. This was a betrayal. He should have known that things wouldn't have gone smoothly when different groups of people were involved, but he had hoped people would have been able to control themselves. He wasn't perfect, but sometimes he had to remind himself that not everyone was like him, and they couldn't all have the emotional awareness that he shared. There was only one person he wanted to talk to, and that was Flint. New Haven had been through too much to see their peace ruined by these sailors, and they had far more important things to worry about.
It only had been a short time, but already they were beginning to overstay their welcome, and this was something Mack had not spent much time thinking about. When he thought about New Haven he imagined people coming from all around to enjoy what they had to offer, but he had been so caught up in the shining idealized version of his dream he forgot about the practical realities of it. The truth was that some people just wouldn't be a good fit to stay in New Haven, and would have to be asked to leave. With the world in the state it was, Mack didn't want to turn anyone away, yet it was clear not everyone was going to want to take part in his perfect vision of the world.
“This has to stop,” Mack said, finding Flint by himself, reading. Flint looked up and cocked an eyebrow. Mack remained calm, but he didn't make any attempts to hide the anger that seethed within him. “Did you hear what happened?”
“Word travels fast in a place as small as this,” Flint said, unruffled by Mack's demeanor.
“I've tried to be patient and polite with you, but we will not allow this anymore. You know what I'm trying to build here. When you let your men act like this it just undermines everything we're trying to achieve. I'm trying to give you a lot of slack, but at some point, there will be consequences for their actions. I’ll have to come down hard on you. I like you, Flint, and I really hope we can work this out, but I can't have brawls happening here. It's not good for anyone.”
“I understand where you're coming from,” Flint said, snapping his book shut, “and I can only apologize for the actions of my men. I've tried telling them to rein in their behavior, but they are all adults, and I can only do so much.”
“But you understand that I have to be hard with them.”
“I understand all too well. I am sympathetic with your cause, believe me, but I can do little to change human nature. Life on the sea was...it made us look at the worst reflections of ourselves, and it will take us some time to get used to being with other people again. I don't know what else I can do other than offer my sincerest apologies.”
Mack grunted and left it at that. Flint was one of the few people who was not intimidated by him, and while he enjoyed spending time with the captain, there was also something about him that unsettled Mack. Flint was quick to placate Mack, and offer him exactly what he wanted, without actually delivering on the promises. Flint only had been in his company for a few days, and Mack knew he still had to be wary as things were unpredictable.
After seeing Flint, he called on Freddie to try gaining a professional's understanding of the situation.
“Did you see this coming?” Mack asked.
“The fight? Let's just say it didn't surprise me. Both New Haven and the sailors have a strong identity that are at odds with each other, and the sailors didn't exactly help their cause by being so headstrong in taking everything they wanted.”
“What do you think about them?”
“I've been trying to talk with them to try getting a better understanding of what they went through and how they coped out there, but they tend to stay together. It's typical defensive behavior, really. They're afraid to leave their pack, and they're acting aggressively to prevent others from disrupting their dynamic.”
“Is that something you'd expect?”
Freddie stroked his jaw. “I'm not surprised by it. Even before this they would have been a close-knit bunch. I get the impression some of them have served together for years, and being out at sea creates a strong bond. They've seen a lot of their brothers die, and that's only going to make the rest of them grow closer together. I wouldn't be surprised if they were just afraid that by becoming part of New Haven they would be losing themselves.”
“That's no excuse for the way they've been acting, though.”
“I try not to offer excuses, only reasons and explanations. But as I said, I haven't been able to talk with them as much as I'd have liked. It would make for a fascinating paper, not that anyone is around to read it...you've spent more time talking with Flint than any of us, what have you managed to glean from him?”
“Not as much as I'd have liked. He hasn't really provided me with details of their time on the sea, at least not ones that give me a full picture of what they went through. He says it was difficult, and that it tested their measure as men, but he doesn't actually say what he means by that. I haven't pressed either. I thought it was best for them not to relive their experiences.”
“Maybe you should,” Freddie said, “and I'll try making more of an effort on my end as well.”
“I don't want to get to the point where we actually have to turn them away. I want to make this work. However, if they're going to carry on such as this, I don't know what else I can do.”
“I think everyone else feels the same way. People like the idea of opening the gates to New Haven and giving people a safe place to live, but there must be some boundaries, and, at the moment, the sailors aren't respecting them at all. The hospitality we've shown them has been perfectly acceptable, and if you feel you must turn them away, I don't think you'll get any argument from anyone in New Haven.”
“But at the same time, I don't want to make any more enemies. We've had enough of those recently.”
“We can't control what they do, only how we react to it. But I think you've been clear about what you expect from them, and what the consequences will be if they don't meet those expectations, just like you have with everyone else who lives here.”
Mack nodded and closed his eyes. A sluggish tiredness was coming over him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and his mouth opened in a wide yawn. He was well aware that being in this state impaired his judgment and decision making, but sleep didn't come easily to him when he had so much on his mind.
The following morning, bruised and feeling sorry for himself, Luis was released. Maggie unlocked the door and gave him a withering stare as he shuffled out. The only solace was that he didn't have to face the sailors. Maggie already had released them, and Luis had heard the catcalls and wolf whistles as she unlocked their door. Their behavior still made him angry, but he no longer was seized by an uncontrollable rage. Seeing how Maggie, Mack, and especially Grace, had reacted filled him with shame. He felt as though he had let everyone down, and he wasn't looking forward to seeing Grace again, or the talk she had promised him.
“What in the hell did you think you were doing?” Maggie asked when they were alone.
“I understand you're frustrated with them, but that doesn't give you license to go off like that. I could understand it from Saul, but not from you. If this was the old world, you'd be pulled up for a disciplinary hearing, but now you've just got me.”
“This badge,” she jabbed a finger into his chest, “means you must hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else. We are human, but we have extra responsibilities and need to be more mindful of how we act. This badge doesn't give you the right to start fights or harass people you don't like, and if that's all you want it for, then I'm going to have to strip it from you and find myself a new deputy. I told you to try managing your emotions, but you wouldn't listen, and now you've seen what happens. I hope you've learned your lesson, because if you haven't, you won't be wearing that uniform for much longer.”
Luis gave her a sullen nod and felt the weight of her stare, but he knew worse was going to come from Grace.
“Take the day off, get yourself cleaned up, and come back tomorrow,” she ordered.
Luis nodded again, and offered an apology as he left. The morning was crisp and the cold air made his skin ache even more. Stabbing and throbbing pains reverberated throughout his body, although most of them were centered on his stomach and face. It had been a long time since Luis had been in a fight, although that one was more intense than any of the other scrapes he had been involved in during high school. The adrenaline that had been coursing through his system had worn off long ago, replaced by pain. He licked his lips and felt the scab that was forming, and wondered how Saul was looking. Luis and Saul hadn't always had the best relationship, but he made a note to go thank him later. It was good to know that Saul, and others, had his back. He wished he could get their aid now as he dragged his heels on his way home.
He opened the door. Grace was waiting for him, looking as though she hadn't slept at all. When she saw him her first reaction was one of concern. She hugged him tenderly, mindful of his wounds, then led him to the couch where she kissed him on the cheek and hugged him again. It wasn't what he had been expecting, and was waiting for the yelling to start. However, it did not. Grace had learned a lot from Mack, and one of things she had taken to heart very early on was the art of conflict resolution. She knew that speaking from a place of anger was not going to do either of them any good.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I've been better. I'm aching all over, but there aren't any serious wounds. It'll just take time to heal. Maggie has given me the day off to recover, although I think it's also to protect me in case she tears my head off. She's really disappointed in me. I can see why,” he said, and looked forlornly at his badge. “How are you?”
“Tired, sad, confused, and worried. That wasn't like you last night. That wasn't the Luis I fell in love with. What happened?”
“I just hate the way those sailors have come here. They act as though nothing else matters other than what they want. And the way they treat you... it just drove me crazy. They were saying things… and I just lost it.”
“You know I don't need my honor being defended. You played right into their hands. This is what they wanted.”
“I know, I know, and I know you're angry with me, and you're right, this isn't me. I'm sorry, they just triggered something inside me.”
“But why were you jealous in the first place? You know I never would have done anything with them. For one thing, they're not my type. I love you and I'm committed to you. I feel as though your being jealous is a sign you don't really trust me.”
“It's not that at all,” Luis said, shock appearing on his face. “I mean, yeah, I don't exactly like the thought of other guys hitting on you. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I just feel as though I should defend you when you're being disrespected.”
“Okay...” Grace said, and it was clear she was trying to choose her words carefully so they didn't ignite an argument.
“I understand where you're coming from, and that you think it's from a place of love, but I feel jealousy doesn't come from love at all. It comes from a possessive feeling. I'm my own person, and while it's great that you want to look out for me and protect me, I don't need you going and starting fights with other people. Our relationship is our business, and I thought we were stronger than that. I must be honest with you. I'm still finding my way through this. This is the first proper relationship I've ever had, so I'm still discovering things about myself and about us as a couple. But this... this is something I definitely don't want. I just feel as though all this could have been avoided if you didn't have those jealous feelings.”
“Maybe.”
“What made you jealous in the first place, anyway? Was it just the sailors, or was there something more? Did I do anything?”
“No, it's not you at all,” Luis said, and for a moment he debated whether he should be honest with her. He never liked having intense emotional conversations. “You want us to be honest with each other, right? No matter what?”
“Yes,” she replied, shifting her position on the couch to prepare herself for whatever he was going to say next.
“I think I was bothered by you choosing to go out on patrol without talking about it with me first. I get why you want to go, but I can't help thinking it's an unnecessary risk. I can sense you want to go out on a few patrols, and I think I'd rather you stay here where it's safe. We know what the city is like. Hell, we know what the world is like. Let's let some other people take the risk for a change. We've paid our dues. We've earned a little rest, and the right to stay behind these walls. Why do you need to go out there?”
“I've told you why. I don't just want to stay in New Haven. I want to feel like I'm doing something, and sitting on the council making decisions isn't enough. You have being a deputy, Hank has his services, and Saul and Freddie have the orphans. I'm not just going to sit around and tell everyone what to do when I'm not doing anything constructive or productive.”
“There's a difference, though. Everything that we're doing is done in the settlement. We're safe here. Out there, you don't know what's going to happen, and I don't want you to get hurt.”
“I don't want to get hurt either, but I'm not going to stay here because I'm scared, or because you're scared for me. I'm good at going out on patrol. Back when this all started I never would have thought I'd be able to survive out there on my own. But I can, and I've taught other people how to do it, too. I want to explore that side of me, and have the autonomy to patrol the city for weeks on end. I've spent too much of my life staying put and watching everyone else live life around me. Looking back on my life now I don't think I ever truly lived before the end of the world, I just observed life and fooled myself into thinking I was taking part. Now that I'm here I want to do this, and I want you to be supportive and happy that I've found this passion as well.”
“So I am. I'd just...I'd prefer you to be safe.”
“And I'd prefer not to feel as though I can't do the things I want to do...” she said, and then silence hung heavily between them.
The two of them stared at each other and then stared into space, slowly realizing they may want different things from the relationship, and may not be as compatible as they once thought they were.
Chapter 4
Hank had been watching the proceedings with a careful eye. He had heard about the brawl, of course, and felt saddened that people he loved and respected were driven to such behavior. He could see the toll it had taken on Mack as well. He felt strongly that the sailors should have been welcomed with open arms, but like everyone else, he had seen how difficult it had been to have them in New Haven. By now, days had passed, with the sailors seemingly firmly entrenched in New Haven. It was supposed to have been a trial period, but they didn't want to leave. It surely would be only a matter of time before the rest of them came to New Haven and gave them more mouths to feed.
None of the sailors had come to see him, although he had made sure to let them know his door always was always open. He had kept a careful watch over them, though, trying to glean any information he could. For the most part, they seemed like regular people; sticking to those with whom they were comfortable. There was one exception however, a thin young man who, as far as Hank could tell, hadn't said a word to anyone since entering New Haven. Unlike most of the other sailors, he hadn't taken the opportunity to tidy his appearance, so his hair was long and tousled. He had thin flecks of a beard, but was so young it hadn't fully taken hold yet. Hank estimated he could have been only a year or two older than Tristan, and he seemed haunted.
