The Halfwit Halfling: A Bard's Tale, page 13
“What is it?” I asked when Lily started murmuring under her breath.
“I can’t tell,” she answered, keeping her voice low. “The psychic feedback isn’t giving me any useful information. It’s something organic. I’m sure of that, but it’s like reading a blank slate. Nothing is going on in there.”
“It must be Little Linda,” Gor said, calm as a cucumber. “She digs through rocks looking for creepy-crawlies and shrooms. Gran used to tell us stories about her. We don’t know where she came from, but Little Linda is a friendly lass.”
Lily nor I found his words reassuring. The sounds were getting much too loud. ‘Little’, worried me. What if it was an ironic use of the word? Like Little John from Robin Hood. The man was anything but little.
The rhythm made things worse. I imagined a troll much bigger than the one pushing the plague cart digging through rock with its nails and teeth. Maybe she fed on mushrooms and insects because she lacked better options. As lovely as the cappers were, their awful skin didn’t make them look particularly appealing. Maybe Little Linda would feel differently about Lily and me. My trust in Gor dwindled as our journey continued. I couldn’t tell whether it was all the stopping and starting whenever we reached a fork or the scraping and crunching were getting to me.
Then we found an underwater stream. Throwing good sense out the window, I dunked my head in the cold water. Things hadn’t gone according to plan. Expecting ourselves at a rest stop after disembarking, we hadn’t brought supplies with us. Anxious about the escape, I had only hydrated myself after getting out of bed. Now, after running from the wargs and spending several hours in the cave-system, my throat was parched.
“No dying until the life debt is repaid,” she whispered, ruffling my hair. I couldn’t tell whether she was doing it on purpose or not, but Gor and I struggled to look away when droplets splattered on her pale cleavage. At this rate, she’d wear me down by the end of the day.
The longer we walked, the less with it Gor appeared. He no longer resembled the cheerful jailor I had met in the dungeons. Drool dripped from the corner of his mouth, and his buggy eyes had long gone blank. It reconfirmed my worries regarding the power of Mind Magic. I wanted to ask her more about her magic, but keeping silent made more sense. Who knows what monster lurked beyond the field of our vision?
Further down the stream, we saw the first sign of life. We spotted a light dangling over the water. The yellow glow had a soothing air about it as if welcoming us to wander closer. When we got closer, we spotted more.
At first, I thought we had encountered some sort of bioluminescent vegetation. Then, a fish leapt out of the water, biting the tear-drop shaped light, proving me wrong. Glowing spikes sprang from the bulb, impaling the creature from the inside out. The line reeled itself up towards the ceiling, and we heard crunching echoing down.
“What manner of creature is that?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Lily said when Gor didn’t respond. In his dazed state, I didn’t expect an answer from him. “If these caves are locked off from the rest of the world, there might be creatures that have adapted to the local environment and Mana specifically.”
“So, the gods and Cosmics don’t create everything then?”
Lily didn’t answer my question. I guessed religion was as complex a subject on Game World as it was on Earth. I thought with there being evidence of higher beings, there’d be fewer debates regarding the matter. Also, it reminded me not to make assumptions. As opinionated as Lily appeared, she likely had beliefs of her own. Understanding the magic system wasn’t enough. I still had a lot to learn about Game World.
Our lights had halved in size. Lily’s shoulders drooped, and her eyes appeared somewhat glassy. I guessed keeping Gor placated and maintaining the purple wisps had a drained her Mana.
I got nervous when we saw giant glowing mushrooms in the distance. They stood as tall as Lily and light filtered through the veins beneath the mushroom caps. On spotting them, intelligence returned to Gor’s eyes. Lily’s control over him was waning. He ran over to them and scrambled up the shortest of the lot. Following some heaving and groaning, the capper managed to pull the cap free of the stem and returned to Lily holding it out as an offering. Good. Though not in full control he remained enchanted with Lily.
“Mana oyster mushrooms, mistress,” he grinned. “They pack a punch but will keep you going for days!”
Lily and I looked at each other with hesitation in our eyes, but her expression changed as soon as she sniffed at the mushroom’s gooey contents. Gor peeled back the veins revealing fluorescent orange and purple jelly. The aroma wafting off it carried earthy notes with a touch of fruitiness. My rumbling stomach urged me to consider the nourishment.
Gor took the lead. He scooped a handful into his mouth and the cheery intelligence he had first displayed when we met, returned to his face. “The shamans use it to help them commune with the spirits,” he explained.
While the comment made me hesitant, Lily tested the substance with her index finger and licked at it. Her eyes widened at the taste, and she dug in. Was it just Mana the mushrooms provided or did they have psychedelic effects too? I had no issues with hallucinogenic or relaxing substances. Bloody hell, when my family dug through my freezer on Earth, they’d find two blocks of Cannabutter, but there was a time and a place for everything.
Lily visibly relaxed as she ate and Gor appeared more in control of himself. Despite their insistence, I refused to partake. Tripping out in a cave with monsters wasn’t my idea of a good time. The tantalising aroma called to me. It wanted me to taste, but I refused to give in. Lily sat down holding the mushroom cap and ran her hands down her cheek, neck and down to her breasts, leaving a trail of glowing jelly behind. Her eyes flared purple, and all of a sudden, my body demanded I join her and consume the material as well.
“Go on, laddie,” Gor insisted. His old Scottish accent had returned. “Yer gonna need the energy once we’re out of the caves.”
“I’m fine thanks, mate,” I said, trying my best to maintain a cheery tone. However, the now crazed look in Gor’s eyes made my voice waver. Lily didn’t say anything. She continued to eat the jelly, covering herself in it slowly, sensually. Much to my surprise, she didn’t recoil in disgust when Gor ran a finger up her breast scraping a line of jelly off her skin. He licked it off his fingertip and grinned. “Doesn’t look like my kind of thing.”
Grabbing a handful, Gor advanced on me. “I swear ye’ll like it, lad. Come on, don’t make me force ya.”
Chapter 20
Mushroom Dodging
I could tell from Gor’s face. He wasn’t playing around. In the ambient light, he finally resembled the fantasy goblins I had grown up with. He lunged at me, one hand outstretched to grab and the other ready to stuff luminescent jelly down my throat. What the hell was going on? How did he go from his placid self to this aggressive brute in seconds? It had to be the mushrooms.
Fortunately, though they didn’t affect him as much as they did Lily, Gor wasn’t in top form. I had little trouble side-stepping the very telegraphed lunge.
“What’s going on, Gor?” I asked in a half-horse stance. I was born premature and spent all my pre-adult years short and skinny. So, mum enrolled me in Shotokan Karate. The Pacifist trait had rendered most of it useless now. However, the footwork came in handy when dodging the next lunge. “C’mon, mate. You don’t want you to do this. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Yer not my friend.” He laughed. “Ye want the mistress, and yer not having her. She’s mine, I tell ya!”
“Don’t you see what’s happened, mate? It’s Lily’s Mind Magic! This isn’t you.” Keeping eye contact, I slowly backed away, trying to find flat ground. I’d have an easier time dodging him without any obstacles getting in my way.
His second attack was too close for comfort. The footwork would only get me so far without technique. Gor’s knobbly shoulder grazed mine, throwing me off balance. My old block-and-counter instincts threatened to kick in, and I fought to reign them back. I wasn’t sure whether it would count as engaging in combat or not, but I couldn’t risk it.
I needed to run. Maybe if I put enough distance between Gor and me, he’d give up. Then, I’d follow the stream or whatever markers I came across until the exit appeared. After that, I’d use the six silvers in my pocket to find a way to Eldar’s Port. I could put this whole episode behind me. It’s then I remembered I had forgotten to collect my tips from Klinkle’s. Now wasn’t the time for such concerns, and I cursed myself for thinking about money.
On second thought, no. My conscience would never let me get away with it. If I escaped, I’d be leaving Lily in Gor’s grubby hands. As much as I disliked the aelf, I could imagine what fate the capper had planned for her. He’d likely keep her on a diet of mushroom jelly and have his way with her repeatedly. No one deserves such a fate.
So, when I did get the opportunity to run, I sprinted into the little forest of mana oyster mushrooms. It wasn’t far enough for Gor to give up the chase. Once I was sure, he had lost sight of me among the stalks, I fell into a crouch and focused on slowing my breathing.
“You hiding from me, laddie?” Fortunately, Gor’s Perception wasn’t enough for him to spot me straight away. “I promise I won’t do anything too bad.”
His boots scraped the stone floor, giving away his location. So, Sneaking Mastery wasn’t a part of his repertoire. Or, that’s what he wanted me to think. No. I wasn’t going to let myself get complacent. Why was he so keen on feeding me the damned mushroom jelly? Was this some ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ bullshit? Wouldn’t killing me make for a more sensible option? Considering my Brawn stat, he likely only needed a punch or two to put me down.
Magic and friends. That’s what I needed. As much as I wanted to focus all my resources on Charisma, it wasn’t going to be enough. Hell, even something along the lines of trap making would go a long way. I didn’t have a relevant mastery or the tools, but something along the same lines would prove invaluable when escaping wargs and hopped up cappers.
My giant, bare feet helped me keep quiet as I crept around the mushrooms. Fortunately, Gor’s Perception wasn’t enough to track me. I guessed the capper had focused all his stats in Brawn and Control.
『
Sneaking Mastery has advanced to Novice: Rank 8
』
I needed a plan of attack. Sneaking around wasn’t a permanent option. So, I followed Gor. I still couldn’t figure out what was going on with him. Had he snapped under Lily’s Mind Magic? I guessed her spells stemmed from awakening a target’s carnal desires. Maybe, with Gor, she had pushed it too far. Or, had Lily subconsciously projected her view of cappers on him, and now Gor was emulating what she expected; I couldn’t be sure.
A plan began to form. Despite the air of malice about him, Gor wasn’t in full control. He was under the mushroom jelly’s psychedelic effects too. Of course. The shamans used it for communing with spirits. It had some significance in capper religion. I assumed they, as a species, had a much higher tolerance of the substance. However, if I managed to force enough on him, maybe I could get him in the same state as Lily.
Once Gor was far enough from where I hid, I targeted the shortest mushroom with the widest cap. My Brawn wasn’t sufficient to break it off as quickly as Gor had, but after several minutes of rocking the cap back and forth, I managed to get it free. The sweet, earthy aroma assaulted me as soon as I removed the veins and the urge to dig in returned with a vengeance. Samantha often complained I was too stubborn; for once, it did me a world of good. Maybe willpower was a more appropriate term, but it wasn’t the time for semantics.
“C’mon, laddie, I’ve got a sweet lass to enjoy,” Gor called. “It’s no fun if she passes out altogether before I get to her. Why don’t you come on out? We’ll share some of this lovely treat, have a chat, and then everything will be okay.”
Armed with the heavy mushroom cap, I approached him. Gor stood on a rocky outcropping above the stream. The several hanging angler bulbs behind him made it difficult to focus on his features. I could only see his crooked silhouette.
“Fine,” I said, making myself visible. “I’m not going to beat you, so why not join you?” His tense shoulders relaxed when he saw the full mushroom cap in my hands. “Let’s sit down together, share some of this jelly and talk things out.”
“Finally, ye come to yer sense.” He laughed. “I was starting to worry ye were going to run for the exit. Ye could’ve ye know, lad? We’re so close.” Gor looked at where the stream disappeared into the wall. I couldn’t see a way out of the caves or more tunnels, but he was right. I could feel a light breeze blowing towards us.
“I’m not going to make it out there on my own. You know that mate. I considered running at first, but then I realised you don’t want to kill me.” I pointed at the chunk of wobbling jelly still clutched in his left hand.
“Of course not, I want to offer you to Little Linda.” The swaying lights cast their glow on Gor’s grinning face. His yellowed teeth and manic eyes sent shivers running down my spine. I knew it then. He was no longer the capper I had befriended. “The stories say, she likes her prey live and docile. I reasoned if she and I can strike up a deal, I’d not only get to keep the sweet aelf lass for myself but also make a worthwhile Covenant. You have no idea how hard it has been for us practitioners when the shamans hog all the clan’s spirits.”
“So what? You want to go back to Blacknail’s Table with an aelven woman on your arm, and a summon to show off to your friends?”
“Ye read my mind, laddy,” he said. “Now go on. Eat the jelly. Make it less painful for yerself.”
“How about we sit together and share it?”
“What do you take me for? A fool?” Gor laughed.
“Not at all,” I answered. “But, how depressing is a final supper if you go at it alone. An experienced jailor as you should know. Don’t you think so, mate? Come on, share it with me. You obviously have the constitution to bear it. I’ll be out of it long before you start getting loopy.” Gor stared at me long and hard, unsure whether to trust me or now. “C’mon, it’s not like I can beat you in a fight anyway and Lily isn’t going anywhere. Humour my last request, please?”
“Fine.” He waved me over.
I marched forward with all the confidence I could muster. Once, I was close enough, I feigned tripping on a rock and flung the goop at his face. Okay, no debuff yet. Much to my disappointment, he blocked most of it with his arm. Of course, his higher Control stat made his reaction time much quicker than mine.
Shooting me a wicked grin, he scooped a fresh handful off the ground and rushed at me. I was out of options. The only way out was to backpedal, and Gor would have little trouble catching me. On either side was the sharp drop into the stream below, so I reacted on impulse and summoned Diya. As soon as the guitar manifested in my hands, I used it to block Gor’s fistful of jelly. Fortunately, it didn’t trigger the Pacifist trait’s debuff either.
Roaring like a mad beast, Gor swiped at me with his free hand and barely missed. I teetered on the outcropping’s edge, struggling to regain my balance. I didn’t know how jovians fared with swimming, but on Earth, I’d never been particularly good at it. Then, the capper grabbed me by the throat, and there was nothing left to stop his large hand from shoving the luminescent jelly down my throat.
Screw reigning in impulses. It was time to do or die. I swung Diya up between his legs, and he yelped as all air rushed out of his lungs. A heartbeat later, a wave of weakness washed over me.
『
You have violated the Pacifist Trait’s commandment.
All stats have been halved until you get a full night of undisturbed sleep.
』
Fortunately, I didn’t need my halved Brawn or Control. Gor stumbled backwards, and mustering the last of my strength, I pushed him into the curtain of dangling bulbs. Trying to regain balance, he fumbled about, and managed to wrap his hands around the two in front of his face. Spikes sprang from them, biting through his hands. Gor screamed loud enough to alert everything sleeping within the caves.
“Help!” he shouted as the anglers started pulling him up, looking at me with desperation in his eyes. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. My half point of Brawn could barely carry my own weight. My knees turned to jelly, and I collapsed in a heap. It felt like someone had struck me in the back of the head even though there was no pain. Or, maybe I had fallen out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Gor’s struggling body disappeared into the darkness above. Crunches punctuated his screams until everything went quiet. Despite my halved Perception, I caught a glimpse of the creatures above. They reminded me of rock lobsters. Stone covered shell, several legs, ugly spines, and antennae that ended in large luminous teardrops. My chest tightened thinking of the pain Gor must have felt. None of this was his fault. Lily was the one that had pushed his mind to the point of snapping, but I had let her do it to escape Blacknail’s Table. Now, I would have to live with the consequences of my actions.
I tried standing up, but my body had forgotten its motor skills and the concept of balance. Struggling on my hands and knees, I crawled through the mushroom forest. The fog clouding my mind made it difficult to remember which direction we had come from. Fortunately, my Perception of four was enough to spot Lily’s jelly slathered form propped up against a rock. I did a quick check of my stats.
『
Identification:
First Name: Peregrin
Last Name: Kanooks
Race: Jovian
