You Wouldn't Dare (Khaos Trilogy Book 1), page 23
He also said that he had spoken to Duke’s mate, Grace. I had cringed when hearing some of the things he had said to her, that they were both broken in ways that couldn’t be fixed. He said that he needed to ring her, to clear the air. If she left Duke because of what he said, he would hate himself forever.
That’s when I had been selfish. I reminded him that no wolf was ever going to completely shake the bond. She could wait whilst we experienced these two weeks together. If he didn’t want to contact his own pack, what sort of message would it send out to be ringing Grace? He had agreed, saying this time was for us and the baby.
I had to admit; I played on the pregnancy a little, getting Khaos to massage my legs and run me baths. He seemed so different and free out here; I wished it could stay like this forever.
He even permitted me to ride on his back in his wolf form. He was so paranoid about our wolves losing connection, and since I couldn’t shift, he wanted me around his wolf wherever possible. He also wanted his wolf to be well used to the idea of a pup, as Alphas could be prone to killing their offspring if they rejected them. He was already so fiercely protective of this little one. Werewolves are only pregnant for six months, our advanced and altered DNA speeding up the process to follow the timeline of our animals, and Khaos planned to experience every second of this moment together.
My own wolf was at peace, in a state of contentment like nothing I had experienced before. We may not be mated, but she knew we had their protection and loyalty until the day they died, and that was enough for her.
For now.
Each day was getting harder to resist the urge to complete our mating. Ignoring the fact that our souls were designed to be joined, the very half of the other to make us complete, Khaos appealed to me on so many other levels. He didn’t try to suppress me as my mother often had done. In fact, he encouraged me to push my limits and step out of my comfort zone, even training with me in strength and agility. Due to the pregnancy, he refused to do any form of one-on-one combat, but he taught me to use muscles I hadn’t even known I possessed, to hone what little skills I had.
Beyond that, there was also the fact I knew he could protect me and the baby, and Goddess knew he appealed to me on a sexual level, and I both loved and respected his nature. The good, the bad and the ugly. I was learning to be okay with his anger, (so long as it wasn’t directed at me) and could even get behind the justification for it. I accepted his jealousy and possessiveness, and I had fallen hook, line and sinker for this adoring, loving caregiver he had shown me of late.
All in all, it all added up to me being screwed. I made my mind up. Despite his many flaws, this man was the one for me, and it went far beyond the destiny of a Goddess neither of us had met.
We were soul mates, best friends, and lovers.
Well, maybe not so much lovers. Khaos hadn't touched me since the day we conceived during my heat. I had tried, using my body in all the tricks of seduction and he had resisted my every move. I knew sex was important to him, and that it meant more to him than it did most people. It would be weird if it didn’t after his own experiences. I knew he would not do something that I could end up regretting. However, this didn't help the sudden rush of hormones I had that had me horny every waking moment of the day. When I confronted him on the number of casual lovers he had in the past, he would simply tell me they meant nothing to him. They had both been willing and knew it was a one night or very short-term thing. I'm a permanent fixture and he wanted me to want him for him, not because my hormones were sending me crazy.
I had even hesitantly brought up the prospect of mating, only to be completely shut down in the gentlest way possible.
Two weeks of this and enough was enough, I was going to get my man if it killed me.
Amanda’s Diary
She actually left!
She’s gone.
Goddess only knows where that monster of a man of a man has taken her!
Her poor father is inconsolable! He’s absolutely beside himself, waiting for the moment when we feel the pack bond being ripped and severed. If that foolish girl goes ahead with this charade of mating, Goddess help her.
I honestly am getting just a little bit sick and tired of the utter selfishness of that girl. Her life was a dream here, she had everything! A prominent member of society, she would have lived with nothing but respect and held in the highest regard amongst the most prestigious of social circles. Khaos may be powerful and respected, but we would never accept him. His respect comes from his sheer strength and abilities, and not the well-bred mannerisms of his superiors.
We had to act quick, I would not allow my daughter to throw away everything I had worked so hard for! There was even talk of removing me as head of the she-wolves for our circle.
Me!
As if anyone could possibly achieve the level of dignity and poise I brought to the group!
The uprising had me slightly worried though, if enough idiots band together, they usually can kick up enough of a storm to get their own way - and this is where I found myself ringing Nyx once more and finalising our plan.
It was amazingly simple really. Both of us agreed that it would be utterly preposterous, (although Nyx said, “plain fucking moronic”, she really is the most uncouth and unladylike she-wolf), to storm an attack on the Dragonheart pack. The men there were beyond any normal warriors, almost feral in the way they trained and attacked. Honestly, it was borderline ridiculous. I would never allow my mate to become so obsessed, loving the bloodshed more than me! A man’s place in this world was to keep his mate happy, not to abandon her for the sweaty, unhygienic battlefields! Goodness, no!
So that’s where the utter brilliance came in - it really is such a fantastic plan! And oh, so simple!
I keep finding myself almost wanting to clap my hands together in glee and share the news amongst everyone, but Nyx had warned that we must be patient. One wrong move and we’ve destroyed everything.
Well, I wasn’t Luna of this pack for no reason! It was insulting of Nyx to even suggest that I would slip up and reveal the plan before we were ready. It was no secret that my mate was a figurehead. Behind the scenes, I ran this pack and we did things on my order.
Oh yes, Luna Amanda of the Atlantis Pack could keep her fair share of secrets, let me tell you!
The world would be shocked if they knew the extent to which I maintained power and ownership of all my surroundings, just by playing confidant to these idiots. Lending a friendly ear to those that needed it in the guise of friendships.
It’s amazing what one can learn that way!
So, the plan is as follows:
My mate, a few of our warriors, together with Nyx and her Beta managed to find the source of the Dragonheart pack’s water supply! How wonderfully marvellous! This means we really don’t have to do much of the work at all! A little Wolfsbane goes a long way, and we had it in abundance.
A little bit here, a little bit there, the entire pack would swallow it daily! They would wash their clothes in it, their dishes cleaned in it, it would be everywhere! The symptoms would start off slowly, nothing worse than a stomach-ache.
Obviously, the tricky part was keeping them from being overly suspicious. Wolves don’t get sick for long; no mere human disease will ever keep us off our feet. However, we can suffer from a bout of “plague” so to speak. Every so often a disease will appear amongst the wolf community, and it can be absolutely rife in packs that are in close proximity. If we kept the dosage of wolfsbane low enough, it was easy for them to confuse it with one of those illnesses.
Stomach-ache, sickness, headaches, loss of appetite, nose bleeds, all these were easy to pass off and not raise the suspicions of the pack doctor. At least not until it was too late. Besides, what was the usual advice to combat a sickness bug? Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
Oh, it was all so easy! Why hadn’t I done this years ago? I could have a pack the size of a small country by now, instead of the stupid rules of battle that we had to adhere to.
I didn’t ask Nyx to elaborate when she told me she had vast experience dealing with Wolfsbane - I would sever all ties with this woman, (and believe me I use that term lightly, she was more deadly than most of the men I knew), as soon as this was all over. I had no intention of becoming her friend, nor acquaintance, and so I simply nodded, leaving her to her delusions that we really were in this together whilst letting her do all the legwork.
The first batch of Wolfsbane was being deployed tonight, and we’d see how things went on this daily dosage for a week or so before deciding our next course of action.
Although, between you and me, I may have sent my mate with a smidge more than what we had initially planned.
Just a smidge, mind you.
Maybe a bit more.
I wanted this thing to kick off in the most spectacular way – I would be known the world over as the she-wolf that stopped the evil Alpha Khaos and destroyed his entire pack. As well as rescuing the sole survivor out of the goodness of my heart. It just so happens that said survivor was my daughter!
Perfect!
As for Nyx - she would be dealt with as soon as she had served her purpose.
Jasmine
When all was said and done, I really was a simple she-wolf. All I wanted was for my Alpha to finally settle down and be content with his lot in life. I was sick of being terrified every time he went on one of his lengthy battles, and prayed every night for a she-wolf to come along and keep him in check.
Violet could not be more perfect. I had spent many evenings with the other wolves laughing at how Violet kept him on his toes, for the first time making Khaos truly doubt his actions and second guess every move he made. Even Erin had been won over and she was an extremely harsh critic.
It seemed our Alpha was finally getting his comeuppance in the most perfect way, and there wasn’t a member of this pack – well, perhaps Morgan – who was not delighted by the behaviour Violet had shown so far.
If there were ever two wolves made for each other, those two were it.
I loved the dynamic that was falling over the pack. It had begun to feel unsettled at the lengths Khaos was willing to go to get his revenge, but things finally seemed to be falling into a peaceful rhythm that even the most violent of wolves craved. Most of them fought when they had to, for protection and pack rank, not because they were chasing the never-ending game of war.
The warriors we had were different, I knew that. They fought because they loved the bloodshed. But it didn’t take a genius to work out that Khaos’ hatred fuelled them. His emotions whenever it came to his battles were so potent, it was hard not to get drawn into it. Once he was settled, the warriors wouldn’t be as bloodthirsty, and if we lost a few of them – well, that was no big deal to me.
Things were going so well without Khaos and Violet, which didn’t surprise me.
We all worked together in this pack and Khaos had spent years ensuring that each and every one of us felt welcome and, more importantly, respected. Myself, and the rest of the Omegas, were happy to serve, knowing that we would be rewarded wholeheartedly, and that someone else usually offered to relieve us of our duties when it came to cleaning up – as a thank you. That type of thing took place throughout all ranks. The very fact that the Alpha allowed his Luna to be friends with an Omega like myself showed that rank was just a title, something that placed us within a specific job role. It was not a life sentence that determined how you were treated.
It was hardly shocking that we could function as one big, dysfunctional family, even in our Alpha and Luna’s absence.
Maybe we became too content, too comfortable, because it wasn’t long before disaster struck.
It was around the end of week one that I became ill. Waking up with headaches, my appetite completely disappearing, and my wolf acting out of character. She went from trying to force a change upon me to retreating into the far corner of my mind and not responding.
I didn’t think too much of it, brushing it off as the stress of the last few weeks, as well as a change of routine.
My wolf was one of the more needy ones, seeking out her Alpha much more frequently than others would normally do. It made sense that she would be disturbed at Khaos being away, no matter how smoothly things were running. Similar things happened when he went on his battles, but not quite to this extent.
Although I figured this could be due to the fact that I had been the one to bond with our new Luna, so my wolf was probably feeling the loss of them both.
Around ten days after Khaos and Violet left, my illness intensified. I wondered if my mate was nearby, and that’s what was causing my wolf to act so out of character. Nothing else made sense to me. I retreated to my bedroom, trying to mind-link my brother, but getting no response. I remembered thinking this was strange before sleep overcame me and I forgot my concern almost as soon as it came.
I slept away the entire day, waking up feeling completely lost. My wolf was not responding at all, overcome by weakness and fatigue. She was still there, although extremely frail. I could feel her weak cries in the back of my mind. She kept trying to push forward, to take control and force a shift so she had a better chance to inspect herself, but she just didn’t have the strength. I heard her faint mind-link with me, whispering one word – but it was enough to make my blood run cold.
“Help.”
I called the pack doctor straight away, demanding to be checked over, and she told me, with some noticeable strain in her voice, to come over and join the others.
Others?
Clutching my head in my hands to block out the dim light that caused my headache to intensify, I stepped out of the doors and was met with devastation, instantly understanding what the doctor had been talking about.
Wolves everywhere were stumbling, clutching their stomachs, or clinging to one another for support. Some unlucky few had even shifted and were currently whining as their wolves were too weak to allow them to change back. The pack doctor was running around trying to alleviate everyone’s pain, but even she looked worse for wear with her pale, drawn in face that was pouring with sweat as the fever coursed through her body.
I felt a tug on my hand and looked down to see Erin on the floor, clutching a bottle of water to her chest.
“Jasmine...” She whispered weakly.
“Goddess! What’s happened?” I cried, unable to stand the sights and sounds all around me.
“Something hit us. Something bad. I was one of the last people infected.”
“I was only asleep for a day! How can this possibly happen in a day?”
“Jasmine… you were out for three days.”
“I can’t have been!”
“I should know! I was the one to tend to you, wiping water around your lips to keep them from cracking, taking your temperature, changing, and bathing you. I did it all, honey. At least until I got too ill…”
“I don’t understand. Have any other packs suffered with this? Has the council sad anything about a plague?”
“Not that I’ve heard – you know the council won’t speak on the phone and none of us have a strong enough wolf to try to link them… I’ve tried for days to flush this illness out with water, I must have drunk at least fifteen of these bottles a day, but it’s made it worse if anything!” Her grip on my arm went slack as a bout of nausea gripped her, her body convulsing with dry heaves.
“We need to get word to Khaos! Who here is fit to travel? We need him back! Our wolves will heal with the Alpha here, I know it!”
“He’s not coming back, Jasmine, you know this. Not until he’s won Violet over.”
“Erin…” A sudden thought had come to my mind, one that had me out of my mind with fear. “What if Khaos and Violet didn’t leave in time? They could be in that cabin succumbing to the same thing! We need to find them!”
“You always think of everyone else,” Erin whispered, a smile on her face as her eyes closed and the bottle fell from her hands.
I felt the moment her wolf left her, my heart shattering at the broken pack bond. I screamed for the doctor; my vision blurry, tears streaming down my cheeks.
The doctor came running over, but I knew at that point it was too late.
The Dragonheart pack had suffered its first casualty.
Chapter 24
The Last Two Weeks
Violet
My plan to seduce Khaos failed spectacularly. He simply gave me a kiss on my forehead and went to his own room.
To sleep.
Alone.
It was hard not to take offence. Was it me? There was a time when he could barely take his hands off me, when he would playfully threaten to ruin me, destroy me for all other men, and now he can’t leave the room quick enough.
I spent the next few days in a funk. In fact, I may as well be honest and say I did a complete one-eighty back into my “bratty” temperament that I had shown during our first two days together. Khaos had no tolerance for this, choosing to be out of the cabin and away from me.
No longer did we take our trips into the local town, no longer did we pretend to be man and wife, and gone was the easy familiarity we had found with each other. We weren’t even back to square one, which for us two was usually anger and resentment. No, instead, Khaos treated me with a very formal courtesy, often inquiring about my welfare and trying to take care of me, but it was all done in such a cold, robotic way.
I'll admit that I goaded him, deliberately going out of my way to be fussy and difficult in order to provoke a reaction. Even anger was better than this awkward relationship we had. Finally losing my temper with him, I ambushed him in the kitchen as he was making my current craving - mac and cheese on pepperoni pizza. It wasn’t the healthiest option, but I had thought of nothing else all morning.
I had tried to talk to him as we normally would, but he was only interested in finding out whether or not I was happy, if the baby were okay, and so I snapped. I accused him of fast becoming a weird, fucked up version of a werewolf Stepford Wife and perhaps he and my mother had more in common than I thought, since he was literally living her dream life right now.
