You Wouldn't Dare (Khaos Trilogy Book 1), page 13
It’s funny how quickly I forgot that.
I had judged him so quickly based on the image he projected on the surface. A few days in his company had taught me I was more like my mother than I thought, making snap judgements based on gossip and hearsay.
More and more wolves crowded into the large hall, most of them taking their seats on the many chairs provided, a few standing guard at the doors. I glanced around looking for Khaos and instead met the eyes of the last wolf I wanted to see.
“Well, well, well. I thought Khaos would be done with you by now.” He snarled at me with a nasty smirk on his face.
“Hello again, Beta Morgan.”
He pressed up close to me, brushing the hair off my shoulder and tutted.
“Mm-hmm, just as I thought, all bark, no bite.” He ran his finger up and down my neck, his eyes widening. “What’s this? No mark, I see. Not as special as you thought - are you, princess?”
“Get that finger off my neck, grandpa, before I ram it up your arsehole.” He laughed at my bravado, pressing even closer to me, and I swallowed down the lump of fear that turned up in my throat.
“Isn’t that the most delicious smell? There’s nothing quite like a woman’s fear to whet a man’s appetite. Tell me--”
“Morgan!” A loud man’s voice boomed out, pulling Morgan away from me. My knees went weak with relief when I noticed Jasmine, who immediately came to my side as the two males barked at each other.
“Thank you,” I whispered as she slipped her arm through mine.
“Don’t mention it. Morgan is a dick. He always has been. Goddess knows why Khaos chose him as a Beta. That’s my brother, Arthur,’’ she inclined her head towards my rescuer as he marched Morgan away from me and towards the other warriors. “The sooner you join our pack, the better. It’s arseholes like Morgan that make the mind-link come in handy.”
She offered me to join her with the other ladies, but I declined, more decided than ever to remain on the side-lines. My anxiety was playing with me, letting me know that many other wolves would feel the same way towards me as Morgan did, and no amount of persuasion could convince me otherwise.
Jasmine gave me one last concerned glance as she made her way down the walkway and headed for her seat.
The crowd quietened as Khaos entered. Almost immediately his eyes found mine, calming my nerves in a way I hadn’t thought possible. He shot me a small wink and my knees went weak, a stupid smile splitting across my face.
Everything was going to be okay.
The meeting went on for a while. I didn’t take much notice of the points that were made, but what impressed me was the fact that every wolf was free to speak. If they had any concerns, they were welcome to voice them and Khaos would do what he could do to reassure them, although he wouldn’t lie. He was very transparent with his intentions, letting them know who he was planning on attacking next and some of his reasons for doing so. He had assured me earlier that everyone here was an equal, and after seeing the way this meeting had gone ahead so far, there was no denying it.
Wolves of all ranks were shouting out questions, a couple of them even teased him when he scanned the room, looking for where I was hiding. He laughed it all off good-naturedly, even though I blushed a deep red, wanting the floor to swallow me whole when Khaos informed them all that if they had a wolf of my beauty by their side, they wouldn’t want me out of their sight either.
Amid all the laughing and jibes being thrown, a young man raised his hand and my stomach flipped with the way the room silenced as Khaos signalled them. The man had some dominance, and both my wolf and I were more than impressed.
“Congratulations on your mating, Alpha. Is her pack okay with her being here?” He said, inclining his head in my direction. “Only, we’ve all noticed she has yet to join our pack.”
“Would anyone be happy with their daughter being here after some of the rumours that have been spread around about us?” The sound of laughter resounded around the hall once more, and I couldn’t help but smile along. He wasn’t wrong. My mother was no doubt still throwing a fit about it.
“The truth is, no, they weren’t happy. I haven’t contacted them and I’ve no idea whether or not my mate has, although we are too far away for her to link with them, unfortunately. My mate is not here against her will, I have assured her that if she is not happy, she can leave. I will not hold anyone against their will. Please be patient with her, remember that she has left behind her parents, her brother, his mate, and all of her friends. Violet will take her place as your Luna, if and when she is ready. I’ll admit I was forceful when taking her and she didn’t get the best goodbye. In fact, she didn’t get a goodbye at all and that is one thing I regret. However, you know the way I work. I don’t play games. They wouldn’t have let her come willingly, and so I took what was mine. If any of you have a problem with that, the stage is yours.”
He waited patiently, but no one spoke up. “Moving on, Violet has expressed some displeasure with my rudeness in not introducing her to the pack already and so I’d like to call her out from her hiding place behind the curtain, since we all know she’s there anyway, and formally announce our mating.” My heart stopped as hundreds of heads turned my way, staring at me with wide, curious eyes.
I caught Jasmine’s gaze as she grinned at me. “Go on,” she mouthed, but I couldn’t get my legs to move, I was capable of nothing other than standing there and shaking. Khaos gently cleared his throat, drawing my attention. As our gazes locked, the same trance fell over us, the room seeming to disappear as we had eyes for no one but each other.
His eyes beckoned me forward, full of gentleness and softness meant solely for me. I shyly made my way forward, keeping my focus on nothing else but the man in front. I was mere steps away when he grabbed hold of me and hauled me up against him, dipping his head low to press his lips against mine. The crowd cheered, and he gently pushed me back, rubbing his nose against mine for a split second before dropping his hold on me completely.
I tried to hide my disappointment, reminding myself that I had to take baby steps with him. He shot me a look out of the corner of his eye and, noticing my disappointment, he linked his fingers with mine, giving them a tight squeeze before he turned back to the pack.
Something had changed. No longer did the meeting have the easy, natural atmosphere. Instead, the room grew tense as the Alpha’s mood shifted and the pack followed suit.
He rounded off the meeting, his voice gruffer and harsher, seeming to have run out of patience with the whole situation.
He quickly said his goodbyes and headed for the door, announcing I would stay behind to get to know people. I didn’t even have the chance to speak to him before dozens of wolves, each speaking over the other, surrounded me.
I glanced over my shoulder, trying to find Khaos amid all the heads in front of me, but he was gone. The only evidence he was here at all was the ominous slamming of the door as he left.
Khaos
I headed straight for my home gym, stripping down to my briefs, and slipped on boxing gloves. I repeatedly hammered the punching bag, feeling wild and out of control.
Violet was getting too close, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I had never displayed such affection in front of my pack before, had never even allowed a woman to stand by my side. I knew she was different, that she was my mate, their Luna, but it didn’t change the way I was feeling. I wanted her fiercely, but at the same time, I wanted her gone. I was at war with myself. I hadn’t wanted a fucking mate and now that she was here, I didn’t know what to do with her.
Words such as love didn’t feature in my vocabulary, but I knew it was what Violet craved.
I wouldn’t be able to give her that. The best I could offer was sex. I knew that would fast lose its appeal. Right now, everything I did to her, every bit of pleasure I delivered to her body was new and exciting. It was understandable that she couldn’t get enough, but it couldn’t stay that way. I could tell a mile off that the woman lived with her head in the clouds, waiting for her white knight to come and find her. Just look at her ex, for fuck’s sake! He looked like he belonged modelling Calvin Klein.
It wasn’t her fault; she was painfully beautiful after all, and her mother had conditioned her to believe a strong mating was the be-all and end-all of a woman’s life. She was used to tea parties and grand balls. I still had her dress in my fucking room, her coming out dress, her stupid, sexy, stunning mating dress - another reminder that as far as her pack was concerned, she was not meant for me.
What did I have to offer?
Nothing.
If your own parents couldn’t love you well then who the fuck would? I gave one last roundhouse kick to the punch bag, sending it crashing to the wall in front.
I had no intention of letting Violet go, despite what I told her. I knew deep down that it was wrong to lie to her, that this could all come crashing down on me if she decided that she wanted to leave, but it was a risk I was willing to take.
I felt something towards her I couldn’t place, but I knew I wanted the feeling to last. I would just have to try harder to be the man she wants and needs.
That’s where the problem lay. I didn’t want to change who I was. All my childhood my emotions had gotten the better of me, allowing me to be hurt time and time again. I didn’t want to be vulnerable again. My wolf felt my anger and snarled in my head, demanding to be let out. He was as reluctant to go back to the old days as I was. He would never be caged and locked away again.
We were one, together always.
Violet needed someone who could give her the world. I could be that man. But, in my version, I would kill everyone to give her it.
I had to get out of here, away from her, away from the beckoning call of the mating bond that urged me to find her and stay by her side.
I glanced at the window and before I knew what I was doing, I jumped, shifting into my wolf before I even hit the ground.
Our black fur was lost in the night sky as we thundered over the grass towards the forest. We roared and crashed into any obstacle in our path, laying waste to all animals we came across. We ran until we were exhausted and spent, hours having passed. My wolf lifted his muzzle to the moon and howled out his anger and then curled into a ball, whining softly.
He wanted his mate.
When all was said and done, we were a simple pair. We secretly wanted the love and affection that was on offer, we just didn’t know how to reach out and make it ours without destroying it completely.
Chapter 12
Violet
After Khaos stormed out of the hall without a backwards glance, I was ready to chase after him and give him a piece of my mind, to remind him of the promise he made not to let his temper get the better of him, especially as I couldn’t see any reason for him to be angry at what had happened.
On the other hand, I had already been given so much today - I must be finally maturing as I put my own feelings aside and realised that he had to have some time to himself. Khaos had promised me that if things were getting too much for me, I could escape to a room that he was willing to build to be my sanctuary. I had readily agreed without giving a second thought about him.
Where did Khaos escape to?
He had the entire pack to take care of, as well as other affairs that didn’t disappear just because I was now here. Yet not once had he complained. All he had tried to do was to make me happy, to make sure I was comfortable and taken care of. He wasn’t perfect, but he had tried his best for me. Now was the time to show him I was stronger than he thought. I didn’t need to be treated as though I was made of glass.
Not that the whole situation hadn’t taken its toll on me, but now it was clear no one ever gave any thought to how Khaos was handling this. He was a powerful man; he ruled with his head and not his heart, but here I was, determined to break through his icy barriers.
I also recognised this for the opportunity it was. I could finally get to know the pack and learn a thing or two about the wolf I was supposed to mate with. People would be more than likely to speak their truth if he weren’t around.
I glanced around for Jasmine, figuring it was best to start with a friendly face or at the very least her brother, anyone with whom I had had a basic bit of interaction. Of course, it was Jasmine who was there; it felt as though she had made it her mission to make my transition from one pack to another as easy as possible, and I was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Do you mind if I join you?” I asked shyly as I approached their table. I noticed it was full of other she-wolves, all of whom had friendly, open faces.
“Are you kidding? Sit, sit!” Jasmine ushered the women down to make room for me and gave me a hesitant smile. “Are you okay? Khaos can be--”
“Khaos?” I interrupted, earning myself a few laughs from the other women.
“Yeah, Khaos…” Jasmine let out a heavy breath, “it’s not you, you know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know. This is a lot for him to take.”
“It’s a lot for you too!” A raven-haired wolf spoke up. “Don’t make this any more difficult for yourself by trying to go easy on him. He’s my Alpha and I love him fiercely for what he does for this pack, but I know I’m not alone when I say he was an arsehole for the way he took you.” The other women nodded along with her as she spoke passionately. “We try to stay away from him when he’s with his bandit brigade. Those wolves are borderline feral. We knew it would not go well when we found out he was taking them to retrieve you.”
“I suppose he thought they were the best option – no one was hurt though. Well, as far as I know…”
“There you go again! Honestly, Luna, you’re allowed to be annoyed. All Khaos had to do was come back to the pack and let us know that he had found his mate and we would have helped – I know I speak for every woman at this table when I say that we would have gone along with him. He didn’t need to take those fucking savages with him.” Every wolf at the table nodded their agreement. “Your pack might even have been happier if they could see the women that would be joining you at your new home. Goddess knows what they’re thinking after they saw those idiots.”
“Honestly, I can’t say I blame him. I’m not making excuses for him,” I hastened to add when she opened her mouth to interrupt me. “My parents would not have let me go without a fight- especially not to a wolf like Khaos. My mother is a socialite, she lives her life in a very superficial world. All she cares about is looking young forever, she barely even wants to change into her wolf, so she doesn’t stretch her skin too much. It’s a game between herself and her friends, to remain forever beautiful and wanted, the ultimate trophy wife. She had plans for me to follow in her footsteps.”
“You don’t fit in there?” Jasmine asked quietly.
“Honestly? I’ve never really fit in anywhere. I went along with it. There was nothing else I could do. My mother had been conditioning me from the moment I was born, and by the time I realised there was another way to live and figured out my own wants and needs, it was too late to stop her. She would easily dismiss my remarks as teenage rebellion and hormones that held no truth. She would brush me off saying I would regret what I was saying in a few years, that mothers know best.”
“So where do you see yourself in this pack?” The raven-haired beauty spoke up once more.
“I don’t know. Khaos said I could do whatever I wanted, but I really don’t have any hobbies or interests. I would like to train a little, to build up my skills to help defend should we need it, but other than that, I really wouldn’t know where to start.”
She nodded at me and dropped the conversation, leaving me with no idea whether or not my honesty had been the right course of action to take. I was slightly saddened by how much I wanted their approval.
“Well, I think it’s a fab idea if you want to train! You can join me if you like? I train twice a week with the warriors!” My gut twisted in horror. There was no way I would be joining anything that the warriors had the slightest part in. Especially not after the warning Khaos had given me. He would be livid if he found out I was alone with them, even if Jasmine were there. I already knew he wouldn’t see that as adequate supervision. “Hey, don’t look at me like that! My brother watches me the entire time.”
“Khaos wouldn’t like it, he’s already warned me I can’t be near those guys…”
“We’ve all received similar warnings. My dad nearly threw a fit when he found out, but we’ve all worked together to find a happy medium. We never train in the warrior grounds, but in a training arena that Khaos built for us when he found out what we wanted. We always have a chaperone and there’s a safety alarm that will make the Alpha drop everything and come running to us. Besides, the warriors really are the best of the best. I’ll be the first to admit, we can rely on the men quite a lot, so this is a great compromise and allows us to feel as though we’re helping in some way. We’re not huge in numbers, but we are deadly fierce - or should I say they are deadly fierce. We have no worries; the men will always protect us. Goddess, that sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?” I gave her a grim smile.
“I had hoped this pack would be different- is it not against all rules of feminism to rely on a male for your protection?”
“Sure, in an ideal world. We don’t live in an ideal world; we live amongst wolves. Wolves who won’t hesitate to attack a lone female in groups of five, or maybe even more. There are women here that could hold their own against one or two, but males are naturally bigger and stronger than most of us. They can easily overpower us. Its why we were so insistent on training so we could learn the basics, but deep down we can admit that we need the warriors. It’s the only reason we’re all so tolerant of them. I know this plays on Khaos’ mind a lot, it’s why he never, ever, takes all warriors with him. We always have someone here with us.”
