You Wouldn't Dare (Khaos Trilogy Book 1), page 11
I heard Khaos scream as he was thrown onto the dining table, handcuffs secured around his ankles and wrists, keeping him pinned down and spread eagle.
“It’s such a backwards society we live in. For the most advanced creatures on earth, the Moon Goddess keeps us so limited in our sexuality. Find your mate of the opposite sex, settle down for life. That’s it. No alternative and no choice over gender. Many wolves are turning away from this, choosing to remain unmated and carrying their frustrations with them every day. Young Khaos here is going to provide some much-needed release. He is to be of service to every warrior in Louisa’s pack. Once they’ve finished with him, he’ll be given over to anyone else who would like a turn on an Alpha Wolf - you’d be surprised how many men get hard at the thought of fucking such a powerful figure, especially if it’s against their will. Just think, sweetheart, had you not released his wolf, his cries of mercy would be granted. The violence about to be inflicted upon him would have killed him had you left him alone. Instead, he will heal, time and time again, ready for his next sexual partner. I hope he remembers the gift you’ve given him.”
The last thing I heard was Khaos screaming, begging for mercy as his father laughed evilly and announced that he would be the first to have a ride on the virgin alpha, breaking him in for everyone else.
I had just enough time to take one last look at him, to see the fear in his eyes as he openly sobbed. He met my gaze and, in that split second, I saw how haunted he was, how much we had destroyed him already. This would tip him over the edge, which was exactly why Drake was doing it.
The last thing I remember before I was dragged away for my own punishment, was thinking that this was the moment of no return. If Khaos survived this night, it would be this act that stayed with him, fuelling his revenge.
We were all doomed, the sands of time shifting against us.
Present-day
Violet
Tears ran down my face as Khaos finished telling his story, and I shook my head in disbelief.
I had never in my life heard such a heart-breaking tale, but he had told me his life story in such a cold, detached voice. It was almost as if he was reading the weather, and not telling me about the brutality his parents had subjected him to.
I looked up at him, seeing the disgust written on his face, the hatred and self-loathing, bracing himself for my rejection and scorn.
I grabbed hold of him and wrapped him up in the tightest hug I could manage, knowing it did little to ease any of his pain.
“I’m so sorry, Khaos. I had no idea.” I sobbed, squeezing him closer to me. “I believed everything about you, all those stupid rumours! I never even gave you the chance, I--”
“It’s okay, Violet, really. Everyone does it.”
If that was supposed to make me feel better, he had failed miserably. I was as bad as everyone else in his life. I had rejected him without even giving him a chance. I hadn’t even bothered to find out what had happened at this pack here today – I had automatically assumed the worst, thinking he would murder everyone in his path. I hadn’t known him long, but already we had been in some crazy situations, and besides the slight attack on Logan - who had provoked him now that I thought about it - he had never once hurt anyone.
I sobbed louder, thinking how much I was becoming like my mother. She judged people, condemning them without a second thought. I had always believed I was above that, but clearly, I was wrong.
Khaos’ hand stroked down my back, offering me murmurs of comfort.
He was comforting me!
Goddess, I really was pathetic! I pulled back and grabbed his face, covering it in kisses before hugging him tight again.
“There’s one more thing...” I looked at him quizzically, “this can’t end until I’ve finished what I set out to do. I hadn’t planned on ever finding my mate, I have nothing to offer you and I wanted no distractions as I finished my goal, yet here you are. So, we’re going to make the best of it. I don’t want to lose you now that I’ve found you and I can’t risk leaving you alone in my pack. I hope that after everything you’ve heard, you can understand…”
“Khaos, you’re mumbling. Just tell me. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad, surely. Ryssa and Drake are gone and--”
“Violet. I’m going to kill my birth parents, and you’re going to help me.”
Chapter 9
Violet
Khaos refused to enter any further conversation with me as he drove us back home. I wanted to know more of his plan for his birth parents, how I could help him. I wanted to comfort him as I continued to process the story of his horrific upbringing, but he shut down every attempt I made.
I felt so much regret at the way I had treated him so far, believing every wild story I had heard about him. Yet, with nothing else to do but reflect upon our time together, I couldn’t help feeling that his own actions had already poisoned our relationship.
He had suffered more than anyone should ever have to - especially a defenceless child - but that pain and suffering had shaped him into a wolf that was so different from my own, and I couldn’t stand by and watch him slaughter innocent people in the name of revenge. Albeit, I didn’t know the full story regarding his parents, but by all accounts, they had abandoned him not long after he was born.
It was inexcusable, especially the way they had left him out in the cold, but that did not mean they were responsible for what happened. The blame for that lied solely at Ryssa and Drake’s feet, and he had already made them pay for what they had done. Khaos had no way to even be sure it was his parents that abandoned him – one second in his company and you could feel the powerful wolf inside him. It stood to reason that his parents would be just as powerful as him. Maybe I was being foolish and naïve, but it wasn’t unheard of for heirs to be stolen away.
“Khaos...” I began, wetting my lips nervously.
“Violet...” he mimicked back at me.
“You know this doesn’t excuse what you did, right? I understand you want to find your birth parents; I know there are parts of your upbringing concerning them you’ve held back from me, but that does not mean you can harm innocent packs.
You understand that, don’t you?” I was pleading with him, needing him to agree with me in order for us to have any hope of a future. He might have killed no one, but he couldn’t continue the way he was going. Attacking packs left, right and centre, burning them to the ground. It was madness, and eventually, he would find himself face to face with an enemy that he couldn’t defeat. There was always someone stronger out there.
“This doesn’t concern you,” he growled, opening the car door, and marching towards the packhouse. I sighed heavily and ran to catch up with him.
“How can it not concern me, Khaos? We’re mates! Everything you do impacts me now! Are you listening to me?” I followed him as he made his way towards the bedroom we had abandoned earlier.
“Mates?” He scoffed, shooting me a nasty look. “We’re not mates, Violet. You’ve rejected me enough times to know that.”
“I won’t mate a beast,” I whispered back. “I did nothing to deserve your treatment of me, I won’t be a part of such violence and brutality. Honestly, I’d rather live my life alone than unhappy. I can’t sit awake every night wondering if you will come to bed or you’re too busy murdering someone in the most sadistic way. I can’t have nasty words thrown at me whenever you’re in a temper again!”
“We’re fated to be together. I won’t let you go. It’s as simple as that, so you best start getting used to it. Whether you decide to complete the mating is of little consequence to me, your future is already decided. Your life is here, by my side. Until I can trust you, you won’t be allowed out of my sight and that’s really all I have to say on the matter. If you’ll excuse me...”
He tried to slide by me, aiming for the bathroom, but I grabbed his arm, preventing him from moving any further.
“It looks like we’re both in for a very miserable, unsatisfied life then, doesn’t it?” He looked me up and down as he gave me a smirk.
“You’re so transparent. Go on, do the usual female trick, and say you’ll withhold sex.” I went to respond, but he clamped his hand over my mouth. “Before you decide to take that path, think very carefully. Remember whose pack you are living in. I had women long before I met you, and they’ve made no secret of the fact that they’re willing to continue to share my bed. You can withhold your body from me, and I’ll just get it elsewhere. The only person you will make miserable is yourself. Life is what you make it, little one.”
I shoved him away, slapping his arm away from my face.
“How can you treat me like this? Especially after what your own mother suffered, especially after Louisa!” I screamed as he went to walk away. “You’d think you’d have learnt,” I muttered, but he only shrugged.
“I learnt. I learnt from the absolute best. I only ever had one example of the way to treat women, and that was from my father. Remember that next time you choose to piss me off.” And with that, he slammed the bathroom door closed.
I hurled myself on to the bed and sobbed out my frustration. This conversation hadn’t gone at all as I had planned. I hadn’t wanted to argue with him, but it seemed we really brought out the worst in each other!
Just as my last tear had fallen, and I was drifting off, completely spent and exhausted, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Khaos muttered in a whisper. It was so quiet I barely heard the words. “I’m sorry,” he repeated louder when he noticed my frown. “You’re right. You don’t deserve this life, but as you well know, we don’t choose our mates. I didn’t want to find you, but now that I have, I can’t let you go. Call me selfish, call me a bastard, but that’s just the way it is. I can’t promise you a life of romance and happiness beyond your wildest dreams, I’m too damaged for that, but with your help, I can promise to at least try to be better. To not repeat the mistakes of my parents. Let me know when you’re not happy and I’ll do what I can to fix it.”
I knew I should take what he was offering, that I shouldn’t push my luck, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know that life would be different. “Will you leave the past in the past? You got revenge on your adoptive parents, leave your birth parents alone. Don’t ruin the last of yourself with hatred for them. They weren’t there for your upbringing, Khaos. Change your aim, make a new future with me.” I pleaded, knowing he would reject the idea, but I was clutching at straws to find a way to make us work.
“I can’t do that, Violet.” My heart sank as he confirmed what I already knew. His vengeance came before anything else.
“Then I want to go back home. Have enough respect for me to let me go.”
“I can’t do that either.” My anger grew as he refused any sort of compromise with me.
“Unfortunately, we can’t always get our own way! Meet me halfway at least - let me go and come back to me when you’ve finished your task, when you’re ready to commit to a relationship. Don’t drag me along with you when you know how much I’ll hate it.”
“What about your heat? That will hit you in a matter of days. Do you honestly expect me to let you go back to your parents’ pack knowing that you have Logan there just waiting to take what’s mine? Don’t tell me you’ll avoid him,” he muttered as I went to deny his accusation, “I’ve seen how responsive you are first-hand. I know how much you enjoy being touched. Add the haze from the heat on top of this and you’ll be ripping his clothes off within seconds. It’s not happening, you’re staying here, and that’s final.”
“You’re a monster!” I sobbed.
He shrugged his shoulders, completely unfazed, “I’ve been called worse.”
“Who’s saying when my heat hits that I’ll come to you anyway? I saw the way those warriors looked at me, I’ll have my fucking pick of whoever I want! You think you can control me; you have no idea of the lengths I will go to in order to make your life difficult.”
“Ditto,” he snarled, cutting off the rest of my rant. I got up on my knees on the bed, kneeling directly in front of him as he stood clutching the bedpost. We were eye to eye as I prodded him in the chest.
“You don’t scare me, Khaos. You can pretend you’re the big, bad, unfeeling wolf, traumatised by your childhood and completely out of control, but I know better. It’s because of your childhood that I know you won’t hurt me. You attack males, warriors, you wouldn’t lay a hand on a woman and so I know I’m safe. Growl at me all you want; you know I’m right.”
“You sound so sure, so confident, but really you have no idea what I’m capable of.”
“You’re not capable of hurting me, I know this for a fact. You’ve had ample opportunity, but you’ve never laid a finger on me. How long until my heat arrives do you think? Enough time for me to get talking to people, get my scent out there so every unmated wolf in a ten-mile radius can detect when it changes. A wolf in heat, with the added bonus of being a virgin, I’ll have my pick of the best wolves out there.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”
“What was it you said to me? Oh yes, ‘try me’, wasn’t it?”
We both stared at each other, breathing heavily, each refusing to be the first to break eye contact. A knock at the door saved us from the worst in each other, calming the meltdown that was fast getting out of hand. When I was hurt, I lashed out, but Khaos had been hurt his entire life. He knew how to slice me down with minimal effort.
“Alpha. There’s a situation that needs your attention.”
“I’ll be right there,” he called back, shoving me away from him so I fell back on the bed.
“Think what you want of me and my pack, but apart from the warriors, every wolf here is a family man, looking for their mate or already happily settled down. No one would be interested in a slut throwing themselves around. They’re going to know there’s something seriously wrong with you if your own mate can’t be bothered to satisfy you during the heat. Especially when your mate has a reputation for his sexual appetite.”
He went to leave me and before I could stop myself, I called out: “Like father, like son!”
He turned to look at me and the utter disgust written on his face made my stomach flip. I had expected his anger at the cheap insult but seeing the disappointment and pain in his eyes almost had me running to apologise, to get on my knees and beg him to forget I had said it. It hadn’t even been an hour since he told me his story, and here I was throwing it in his face.
His lip curled in distaste as his eyes raked my body from head to toe, “I guess it’s true what they say. Beauty is only skin deep. You’re as nasty and ugly as they come on the inside. It’s suddenly not a mystery why the Goddess paired us together. Underneath your ravishing beauty lies a heart blacker than mine. I guess we’re a match made in Heaven after all.”
Chapter 10
Violet
Khaos didn’t return that night. An Omega brought me a meal when I refused to come down to dinner, and I spent the evening alone in this room.
Again.
I knew I was making yet another horrendous impression on the pack, but I couldn’t bring myself to face them without Khaos by my side - What sort of message would that send out if I turned up alone? It would just prove that he couldn’t be bothered with me. That I was here simply because the Moon Goddess had fated us to be together, that if it weren’t for the undeniable bond that called us together, Khaos would happily take what he wanted from me and leave me behind.
I knew what my mother would say, and for once I agreed with her; not meeting the pack after the length of time I had been here was inexcusable. I was already in danger of relying on Khaos too much, expecting him to hold my hand and guide me through my duties - I was meant to be the Luna of this pack! I should have been stronger than this, they needed me to be stronger than this, but I just wanted Khaos, and it hurt that he didn’t want me in return.
Despite the way he had been with me, despite the cruel and ugly words we had thrown at each other, he still called to me. My wolf was howling her anguish as we felt his rejection once more. I wanted to be with him, my body ached to be next to his.
Even though I felt silly and childish, I wanted the romantic mating of love stories, not this hellish existence I had been given. I had been swept off my feet alright, in all the wrong ways.
Sighing heavily, I threw the covers off my body and climbed out of bed, kicking aside the untouched meal that had been prepared for me. I was going to find Khaos and apologise; we needed to talk this through. It wasn’t just us we owed it to; we had an entire pack of wolves needing to have a strong Alpha and his Luna by his side, supporting him, loving him.
Once out in the hallway, I was lost. The packhouse was a mansion with twists and turns everywhere. I followed my instinct, heading towards where I thought the smashed-up room we had left this morning was. As I rounded another corner, I bumped into a beautiful woman who gasped when she saw me.
“Luna! What are you doing out of bed? Alpha Khaos said you were ill and not to be disturbed!” I gave her a small smile, secretly relieved that I did not have to explain my absence, that Khaos was protecting me and covering for me even through our argument. It was a small beacon of hope.
“I was looking for Khaos, do you know where I’ll find him?”
“He’s repairing the wall to your bedroom, but I thought you knew that. That was quite an argument the two of you had.”
I blushed furiously, staring at the floor, “you heard that?”
“Honey, the entire pack heard it.”
“Great,” I muttered sarcastically, scuffing my feet on the carpet, and avoiding her gaze.
She laughed at me and gently placed her hand on my arm.
“Don’t worry about it, Luna. We all know our Alpha has a temper. Between you and me, most of the she-wolves were cheering you on.” She gave me a small, conspiratorial wink, “one day here and you had him spitting hairballs. It was quite a sight to see! Plus, the making up afterwards...” her voice trailed off into a laugh. “Don’t be shy! You made up in the proper way, it’s one of the best parts of arguing! Come on, follow me, I’ll take you to him.”
