Chasing the Stars, page 19
I heard a person come through the doors and saw Amelia walking toward us. “Hey,” she said as she got closer.
“Hey. He’s in surgery so we don’t know anything.”
“Okay. I came as soon as I heard.” She looked at Hayes. “Hi, I’m Amelia. I live with Mackenzie.”
“Hayes,” he said, offering his hand to her. She shook his hand as she looked at me with wide eyes. We had both been so busy that I hadn’t been able to fill her in on Hayes.
She sat down in the chair next to me as Hayes leaned closer. “Carson’s going to bring me my laptop. I have a paper I have to write.”
“You don’t have to stay,” I told him but I didn’t really mean it. I needed him.
“I’m staying. I can write my paper here.” He glanced at his watch. “Will you remind me to call my parents in the morning? It’s too late to call them now, but I need to let them know that I’m not going to make it home this weekend.”
“You were going home?” I asked. He wasn’t going to see his parents because of me?
“I was going to tell them about Harley…and you,” he said, squeezing my hand.
“Ms. Nicholson?” a man in scrubs asked as he stepped through the waiting room doors.
Tina locked eyes with me as she stood up and walked over to the man. Amelia grabbed my free hand as we watched the man talk to Tina. We were too far away to hear what he was saying, so I relied on Tina’s body language.
She began to cry and I immediately shot out of my chair and by her side in an instant. Tina turned to face me as she cried, but when she fully turned, I could see a smile gracing her face. “He’s okay.”
“He’s okay?” I repeated.
“He made it through surgery. The next twenty-four hours are critical, but for now he’s okay.”
I felt two arms catch me from behind as my knees buckled from all the worry leaving my body. “He’s okay,” I repeated again.
“We’ll let you know when his room in ICU is ready and you can see him,” the doctor said before exiting the room.
I turned around and hugged Hayes as tight as I could as I repeated over and over again, “He’s okay.”
Chapter 30
Hayes
I made sure Harley was securely strapped into her car seat in the back of my Jeep before I hopped down and helped Mackenzie place their luggage in the trunk.
She handed me her last bag as she bit her lip and I knew she was nervous. “Hey. You don’t have anything to worry about. My parents love you.”
“I know they used to like me, but…this time I’m showing up with a grandchild they don’t know about.”
Brad had recovered well from his gun shot injury, so I persuaded Mackenzie to come with me to my parent’s house the following weekend. I decided it would be nice for my parents to meet Harley as soon as they learned of her existence.
“Everything will be fine. They’ll be so in love with Harley that nothing else will matter,” I told her before giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, let’s go.”
I wanted to get there early because it just happened to be Valentine’s Day. As long as the weather didn’t turn cold, I planned on spending the night on the dock of my parent’s pond with my two favorite girls. The same dock that Mackenzie and I spent our very first official date on.
As we drove toward Maverick, I noticed Mackenzie ringing her hands and becoming more and more nervous. I turned the volume down on the radio then grabbed her hand. “I know you can’t be this nervous about my parents. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She bit the inside of her lip as she looked out the passenger window. “Do you know what happened to my dad? Or my mom?”
I immediately felt sick. I still hadn’t told her about beating the shit out of her dad. I hadn’t told her because I knew she’d think I was just like him. How could she not? He beat her for years and I almost beat him to death. I was an awful person. I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
She shifted her body and leaned her head against the window. “At first I was terrified that he’d find me. That he’d beat me and hurt Harley. I guess that was stupid though. He’d have to care about me to come look for me.”
“He’s an awful person. You’re better off without him caring about you.”
“Anyone that could hurt someone like that?” she whispered, holding back tears. “Definitely a horrible person. Could you imagine treating Harley like that?”
Harley was my daughter. My princess that deserved nothing but love, but I was evil on the inside just like Kenneth Blanchard. “No. I can’t even imagine doing something like that to Harley.”
“I used to tell myself that if my own parents couldn’t love me, you couldn’t either,” she confessed as she stared out the windshield.
“That’s not true. You’re very easy to love. You’re so easy to love that I never stopped. Not even an entire year apart could make me stop loving you.”
She didn’t respond and I turned my attention back to the road. I didn’t want to think about how similar I was to Kenneth Blanchard, but I was similar to him. I took my heartache and turned it into rage.
I could’ve killed a person and I still don’t care.
The fact that I didn’t care is what scared me the most because I knew Kenneth didn’t really care about Mackenzie. He didn’t care that he had broken her, not only on the outside, but on the inside.
We pulled into my parent’s driveway with Harley screaming at the top of her lungs. She had woken up fussy with drool all over her shirt. Mackenzie suspected that she was teething and I had no clue other than the fact that she was upset.
“Let’s just leave the bags. I’ll get them later,” I told Mackenzie as I opened my door. As soon as I saw Harley, my heart broke. Her little face was red with drool and sweat all over her. I unbuckled her, and took her out of the seat, trying to calm her.
You could never hurt her. Not even a little bit.
The cool February air seemed to calm Harley a little as I carried her to the front porch with Mackenzie by my side. Mackenzie kissed Harley’s forehead and rubbed her little head which completely settled her. It was an incredible sight watching her comfort our child.
I took a deep breath as I opened the door to my childhood home. “Mom? Dad?” I yelled.
“In the kitchen,” I heard my mother holler.
“Ready?” I asked Mackenzie.
“If I say no, can we leave now?”
I adjusted Harley then took Mackenzie’s hand. “I promise it’ll be okay.” I leaned in, giving her a light kiss on the lips as an assurance.
My mom was taking a lasagna out of the oven and my sister and dad were sitting at the breakfast bar talking about her classes, when we entered the kitchen. I smiled widely at my family as Harley cooed in my arms. “Hey,” I said as I stepped a little closer. “You guys remember Mackenzie, right?”
“Of course we do,” my mother finally said as she stared at Harley with wide eyes.
My sister seemed to be frozen in place next to my dad as he spoke. “Whose baby is that?” he almost whispered.
“This is Harley Rose. My daughter.”
“Your what?” my dad asked harshly as my sister yelled, “Oh my God!”
My mother didn’t speak as she rounded the corner of the counter and stepped beside me. “She has your eyes. How old is she?”
“Six and a half months,” I told them as I made a silly face at my daughter making her laugh.
My mother turned toward Mackenzie. “Where are my manners? It’s good to see you, dear,” she said as she embraced her in a hug.
“I’m sorry, Hayes. I don’t mean to be rude to you or Mackenzie. I’m just a little shocked,” my dad said as he clapped me on the shoulder then held out his arms for Harley. I watched as my daughter smiled at my dad then held up her hands for him.
“I’m an aunt? I’m an aunt!” Lacey exclaimed making all of us laugh.
I placed my arm around Mackenzie’s shoulder. “See? I told you they would love her.”
She rolled her eyes. “I guess you were right. But in my defense, most parents would freak out.”
“Let’s go in the living room so I can spoil this little girl, and we can catch up with Mackenzie,” my mom told us as she walked beside my dad, holding Harley’s hand.
“I can’t wait to go shopping for cute, little girl outfits,” my sister exclaimed as she followed my parents.
***
After an afternoon spent watching my parents bond with Harley and a tense conversation with my dad, I decided we needed some alone time. Just Mackenzie, Harley, and myself.
I closed the door to my old bedroom and began setting up the pack ‘n play that I had brought up earlier. “So today is Valentine’s Day,” I began.
“I’m aware,” Mackenzie said as she rocked an exhausted Harley on her lap.
“I know we’re not a couple, but I was thinking that maybe the three of us could have a nice Valentine’s date.”
“That could be nice. What did you have in mind?”
I finished locking the last side of the pack ‘n play in place before I answered. “I was thinking that I could order us a nice meal, and then we could go down to the pond dock and have a picnic.”
“Since it’s warm, I think that’s a great idea. Would you mind getting the food while I take a nap with Harley? I’m exhausted from studying and work this past week.”
“Sounds good.” I kissed her on the forehead before I left the room.
I walked down the stairs that led to the living room as Lacey was going up the stairs. “Harley is really cute.”
“Thanks. I think so.”
“You look good. Better than I’ve seen you look in a long time. Even Mom and Dad think so,” she said with a cheerful smile lighting up her face.
“Thanks. I guess happiness will do that to you,” I told her as I took a step down.
“I don’t have any plans tonight,” she blurted.
I turned around letting her statement pull on my heartstrings. “I’m sorry, sis. You’re too good for any guy anyway.”
She placed a hand on her hip, rolling her eyes. “I meant I can babysit. You know, if you and Mackenzie want to have an actual Valentine’s date.”
I thought it over in my head. I wasn’t sure if Mackenzie would go for it because we had decided to be friends and to be a united front for Harley. “Let me check with Mackenzie after I get back from getting dinner. She’s taking a nap with Harley right now.”
“Okay, just let me know.”
I climbed in my Jeep and started it up. It felt weird driving through Maverick again. Especially driving through Maverick and feeling something besides coldness inside me. I grabbed my sunglasses from the visor and cranked up some Nine Inch Nails.
Before I realized what I was doing, I was turning right into the trailer park that Mackenzie used to live in. I just wanted to know if her parents were still living in Maverick, or if they had moved on to some other town. As I pulled up to the trailer, I realized that they were still living there. Kenneth’s beat up junker truck was parked in the driveway and an old recliner was perched next to the porch. Beer cans riddled the small lot, and I realized that fucker was still going on with his life without a care in the world about his daughter.
I decided I needed to turn my Jeep around before my anger turned into rage and Mackenzie found out exactly what I was capable of. I flew out of the trailer park, leaving dust flying as I turned down the main highway. I needed to calm down, pick up our dinner, and have a nice dinner with my family.
My family.
Mackenzie, Harley, and myself.
A family I would do anything for to see them smile.
Chapter 31
Mackenzie
I woke up sprawled across Hayes’s old bed to the sound of my phone ringing. I looked around until I found it on the opposite nightstand. I grinned as I saw the name across the screen.
“Hey, you!”
“Hey. I just wanted to check in and see how it went with the in-laws,” Brad rasped.
“It went well. Great actually. Are you okay? You sound weird.”
“I just woke up,” he said as he cleared his throat. “Better?”
“Yes. They aren’t my in-laws by the way,” I corrected before I yawned.
He chuckled. “Yes they are. You know they are, you just don’t want to believe it.”
“Whatever.”
“Seriously.”
“So tell me, how are you doing? I feel bad about leaving you while you’re hurt,” I said as I raked my fingers through my hair.
“Don’t feel bad. I promise I’m fine, just sore. You needed to do this, if for nobody else, for Harley. She deserves to meet her grandparents.”
“I know.”
“I’m going to let you go, okay? I just wanted to check on you.”
I grinned at his thoughtfulness. “You were shot a week ago and you’re worried about me. I love you,” I told him as Hayes opened the door.
“I love you too, kiddo,” he replied as the phone went dead.
I glanced in Hayes’s direction and he didn’t look happy. He had a scowl on his face and his nostrils were flaring.
“What’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he said as he checked on Harley. “Who was on the phone?”
“Brad. He just wanted to make sure everything was going okay.”
He smiled, but it wasn’t a friendly smile. It was Hayes’s signature asshole smile he usually used right before he said something mean. “How sweet of him,” he drawled in a fake voice.
“What is wrong with you? When you left, you were in a great mood. You come back and you’re being an asshole.”
“I want what I can’t have.”
I stepped in front of him. “What are you talking about?”
He shrugged and shook his head. “Nothing. As soon as Harley wakes up we’ll go down to the pond.”
I closed my eyes trying to calm myself. He wasn’t going to tell me what was bothering him and it hurt. Sometimes it was hard for me to remember that Hayes wasn’t my boyfriend. He was the father of my child and that was all.
As I thought about that, it hit me how bad I wanted to change that fact. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. Since we had reconnected, I had come to realize that what I had told myself wasn’t real, was in fact real. Hayes had loved me and he still did.
I still love Hayes. I opened my eyes at this awareness and locked eyes with Hayes. He was so damn gorgeous and I wanted him. All of him.
Well, it was Valentine’s Day. A perfect day to declare my love and feelings for him.
Harley began crying, signaling that she was waking up. I broke eye contact with Hayes as I moved toward Harley. My little girl that was a piece of both Hayes and I.
“I’ll get her,” Hayes said picking her up.
I placed my hand on the side of his cheek and stroked it soothingly. “Please don’t be upset about whatever it is that’s bothering you. It’s Valentine’s Day.”
He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again, focusing on Harley. “I know it’s warm out for February, but do you think it’s still too cold for Harley? Lacey offered to babysit since she’s doesn’t have plans.”
Thank you, God. Things were working out perfectly. We could have a real adult date and Harley would still be close by. “I think that would be best. I mean, if she needs anything, we’ll be in in the backyard.”
“Okay, I’ll go let her know. She can watch her in here since all of Harley’s stuff is in here.”
I walked over to my luggage before grabbing a change of clothes and my makeup bag. I wanted to make sure I looked nice for our little date. “I’ll just get dressed in the bathroom. Be right back,” I told him before I pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.
***
Since it was February, the sky had darkened early and a few stars were already twinkling. I tilted my head back as we reached the dock and inhaled. The last time I remembered being that happy and peaceful, I was with Hayes.
I opened my eyes to see Hayes lighting a fire over a portable fire pit. He smiled at me as the flame began to grow. “I wanted you to be warm while we ate.”
“I guess you thought of everything.”
“I also brought some blankets in case…”
I walked closer to him and grabbed his hand, “In case I wanted to snuggle up next to a stud and look at the stars?”
He placed his other hand on my cheek, letting his thumb stroke my cheekbone. “Yeah,” he whispered.
I leaned up on my toes and pressed my lips against his. I wasn’t necessarily ready to blurt my feelings for him out, but I still wanted him to know how I felt. I deepened the kiss by bringing my hand to the back of his neck. He kissed me back, harder, letting his tongue swipe across my bottom lip. He let go of my hand and grabbed my hip, forcing our bodies closer.
I lost myself in the kiss as I made up for all the kisses we hadn’t shared over the last year. We had given each other slight pecks over the last week but this was a real kiss. A kiss full of emotions and desire.
I let my hands wander up to his head as my fingers tangled in his hair. Our tongues explored one another’s mouths as we both made sounds of pleasure.
I tried to back us both toward the built in bench that surrounded the dock, when he gently pulled away. “We need to stop,” he said raggedly.
“Why?” I asked panting. Why the hell would we need to stop? Did he not want me like that anymore?
“Because I don’t have a condom on me and if we don’t stop now, I’m going to strip you down and make love to you on this dock.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.”
He smiled in a way that made me want to climb his body and make him kiss me. “No, I guess it wouldn’t, now would it? But I still don’t have a condom.”
“Fine,” I huffed as I began digging around in the takeout bags. “Yum, you got Mexican,” I exclaimed as I pulled out some chips and queso, along with some cheese enchiladas.
He laid out a blanket then sat down. “I’m glad you like it.”
