Chasing the Stars, page 17
“You don’t need to explain anything to me. You’re free to date whomever you want.”
“I still feel—”
She cut me off before I could explain that Kennedy meant nothing to me. “Let me be a little clearer. I don’t want to know anything about her or your relationship. For the time being, I don’t really want her around Harley. Maybe after you know for sure that the relationship is serious and going places, but not right now.”
I nodded because she wouldn’t let me explain that Kennedy wasn’t an issue. I planned on ending things with her as soon as I saw her again. I knew it was shitty, but I no longer needed her. I had the real life girl right in front of me and back in my life.
A knock on the door followed by, “Let me in!” came from the hallway. I guess Carson had told Miranda the news. She lived on the floor below us and had missed Mackenzie like crazy over the last year. Almost as much as me. Almost.
Mackenzie’s face split into a wide smile. “Is that who I think it is?”
“Yeah. My guess is that she ran into Carson and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”
The door flew open and Miranda came barreling inside, rushing toward Mackenzie. She grabbed her in a huge bear hug. “I fucking missed you. Where the hell have you been?”
Mackenzie pulled back and smiled. “You know, I’ve been around.”
Miranda brushed a few tears from her eyes. “You’ve made me cry. I can’t believe you’re really here.” Miranda looked in my direction but her eye caught on Harley lying in the bed. “Umm, is that a baby?”
I laughed at the confusion on her face. I would’ve thought that Carson would have told her about Harley. Carson looked at me with a huge grin on his face. “I wanted to see her reaction. I figured it would be close to mine.”
“That’s Harley,” Mackenzie answered as she looked at our daughter with love in her eyes.
“Where did she come from?”
Carson snorted. “Where do you think? She came from Mackenzie’s uterus. The product of Hayes and Mackenzie’s love,” he joked.
“Oh my God! Hayes Morgan is a dad? Holy shit this should be scary to watch!” she practically yelled.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
She placed her hand over her mouth as she walked slowly toward Harley. “I’m sorry. But you’re a dad? I’m sure you’ll be great, but it’s a little hard to wrap my brain around.” She peered down at Harley before stroking a hand over her little arm. “She’s absolutely beautiful.”
“She looks just like Mackenzie, so of course she’s beautiful.”
Mackenzie smiled before she stepped beside Miranda. “You should see her eyes. They look just like Hayes’s.”
“This is just incredible. We have so much to catch up on.”
“Are you still with Preston?” Mackenzie asked and I winced. He had destroyed Miranda. He had gotten her addicted to heroin then bailed on her with some other girl. Miranda spent the summer after high school graduation in rehab.
“No. Let’s not talk about him. I want to hear about you. What have you been doing besides having a baby?”
“I’ve just been working and going to school. I’m taking classes at the community college.”
“That’s awesome! It’s been so great seeing you. Can I get your number? I have a study group in fifteen minutes.”
“Yeah,” she told her before giving her number to Miranda.
I turned my attention back to Harley that was starting to wake. I smoothed my hands over her back and quietly shushed her. I had no clue how long she normally napped, but I wanted to be the first person she saw when she woke up.
“Bye, Daddy,” Miranda hollered at me before leaving, followed by Carson.
“She should be waking up anytime. Then I should probably get home. I have some homework I need to finish.”
“Of course.” I still had questions about Brad but I had one big one that I needed to know. I knew she had called him a big brother before, but I wanted to know for sure he wasn’t anything more. “The Brad guy that you mentioned? Is he your boyfriend?”
“Oh, God, no. I told you he’s a big brother to me. I could never think of him like that.”
Her statement made me smile so hard that I felt like my face might split in two. “That’s great. Really great.”
Her eyes focused on my nightstand and I realized she had spotted the picture of us. “You keep a picture of us on your nightstand?”
“Yeah. It was the one time in my life I was truly happy,” I told her.
“Hayes. You know that we can’t be anything more than friends, right?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know.” Life was so fucking cruel.
Chapter 27
Mackenzie
“Was it so bad?” Brad asked me as we sat on the couch at his apartment.
I thought it over in my head. Telling Hayes about Harley and allowing him into our lives hadn’t been as hard as I had imagined. I still didn’t fully believe him about the whole Baylee thing, but it was time I moved past that. It wasn’t about Hayes and me. It was about Harley.
“No, it wasn’t, but you better not say I told you so,” I told him as I watched Harley greedily drink from her bottle.
“That kid can eat. The other day she had a jar of some nasty vegetables, a full bottle, and then cried until I gave her a jar of fruit.”
“She’s like me. She likes her sweets. Sometimes I’m tempted to eat her fruit.”
He wrinkled his nose at me. “Her baby food? That’s just gross. You could just go the store and buy some fruit.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I could, but where is the fun in that?”
“You need a life if eating baby food is fun to you.”
I bit my lip as I gazed at Harley. “She’s my life. Everything I do is for her.”
He rubbed his eyes as he took a drink from his beer. “I know, kiddo. Hey, you wanna see if Mom will watch her tonight and we can go see a movie?”
“Sure, but you look really tired.”
“I am. This last case almost killed me. I didn’t think we’d ever figure it out.”
“Then why do you want to go out?” I asked.
He finished off his beer and placed the can on the coffee table. “Because I just want to do something fun for a change? I’m only twenty-eight, yet I haven’t gone out in weeks. I feel more like a fifty year old. Hell, I know fifty year olds that go out and have way more fun than me.”
“You mean you’re not fifty? I could’ve swore I saw some gray mixed in with that blond hair of yours. And don’t get me started on the facial scruff.”
“Ha-ha. Very funny. Let me text my mom and see if she’ll watch Harley.” He pulled out his phone and began pressing buttons making me decided to check my phone.
Hayes: I was kinda hoping to spend some time with you and Harley tonight. Let me know if you’re free.
Miranda: I need to catch up with you.
I studied the text messages for a minute before asking Brad, “Hey, um, you want to have dinner as well? And maybe invite Hayes and Miranda?”
He eyed me for a moment as he smirked. “Is Miranda hot?”
I laughed as I threw a couch pillow at him. “Yeah. Like seriously hot. But I don’t think she goes for old men.”
“Since I’m so damn young, definitely invite her then. As far as Hayes, that’s completely up to you.” His cell phone beeped and he read the message. “Mom will watch Harley. Where do you want to eat? I’m fucking starving.”
“I don’t care as long as it’s cheap.”
“How about Chickie’s Chicken?”
My stomach growled at the thought. “That sounds really good. Let me text them. Maybe an hour?”
“Yeah, I’m going to change real quick.”
***
An hour later, I was sitting beside Brad with Hayes sitting directly across from me in a booth at Chickie’s Chicken. I watched Hayes devour his chicken then lick his lips before taking a drink. I couldn’t help but wish I could lick his lips as well. I knew we could never be a couple again, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still find him attractive. In fact, he was the most insanely attractive person I had ever laid eyes on.
He noticed me watching him, and he winked at me before taking a bite of his mashed potatoes. “So, how was Harley today?” he asked after swallowing his bite.
“She was good.”
“She was hungry. Like seriously hungry,” Brad chimed in.
I laughed. “Yeah, I think she’s going through a growth spurt. Her appetite has definitely increased lately.”
“Aww, do you watch her often?” Miranda asked Brad in a flirty tone.
Hayes and I gave each other knowing looks. Miranda liked Brad. “When I can. She’s a really sweet baby.” I noticed Brad smile his award winning, swoon worthy smile, and I realized he liked her too.
This could be interesting.
I looked back at Hayes and I knew by the look on his face, he was thinking the same thing. We both smiled at each other before I took a bite out of my chicken. It tasted so good I had to suppress the urge to moan.
I glanced in Hayes’s direction and he was staring at me. I realized by his expression that I hadn’t been successful in stifling my moan. “Sorry. I got busy at work and I haven’t eaten all day.”
“You do know that you do that every time you eat, right?” he asked with a grin on his face.
I had no clue what he was talking about. “Do what?”
“You moan,” he said as Brad and Miranda laughed.
“He’s right. I noticed it the first time I ever ate with you. It’s kinda loud,” Brad told me.
“I do not. You guys are messing with me. Today was a one-time thing.”
He bit into his fry and shrugged as Hayes said, “Okay. Whatever you want to believe.”
I narrowed my eyes at him as he took a bit of chicken. He was so damn hot when he was being cute. I needed to remember what a jerk he could be. An image of him and Baylee kissing popped into my head and he no longer looked hot.
I tried to listen to Brad and Miranda’s conversation, but failed as I narrowed my eyes at Hayes, wanting to slap him for kissing Baylee. For letting her kiss him. Whichever way it happened he needed to be slapped for it.
“Shit. What the hell did I do?” he asked as he swallowed his bite.
I took a drink of my Dr. Pepper. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“I know that look. What did I do in the last twenty seconds?”
I looked down at my plate, shaking my head. I was acting like a crazy person. I needed to stop thinking about that night. I was a mother—an adult, and I shouldn’t have to force myself to think of unpleasant thoughts just so I wouldn’t get turned on by Hayes.
I glanced back over at Brad and Miranda who were talking up a storm, oblivious to Hayes and myself. “I just thought of something…unpleasant. That’s all. I’m over it now.”
“Okay. But if you decided you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
I huffed. “I don’t think you want that considering it’s about you. Or rather something you did.”
“No. I think we should talk about it. If it’s bothering you then we need to talk about it. Not talking and assuming things is how we got in this situation.”
“Okay. Maybe later when we’re alone.” I looked at my empty cup. “I’m going to go get a refill.”
***
After the movie, Hayes asked me to ride with him to pick up Harley from Tina. He wanted to be able to hold Harley for just a minute. He had really stepped up to the plate with Harley, which, of course, made me happy, but I still worried. What would happen if he decided he didn’t really care that much for her after she had grown attached to him? Her face already lit up every time she saw him, therefore it would be incredibly heartbreaking if he walked away after a few months or years.
“Do you want to talk about what was bothering you at the restaurant?” he asked as we drove away from the theater.
“Not really. It’s just going to take me a while to let go of things I held onto and believed for over a year.”
“I understand. Just know that nobody has ever meant as much to me as you do. Well, that’s a lie. Harley does.”
I sighed as I stared out the windshield at the street lamps. “That’s the thing, Hayes. If I had meant that much to you, you wouldn’t have kissed her or allowed her to kiss you. That’s what I can’t wrap my mind around. That’s why it terrifies me to let you get close to Harley. I’m afraid that even though she means a lot to you, something else will come along and you’ll ditch her.”
He reached across the console and grasped my hand. “I’m so sorry about kissing Baylee. I promise you on my life that I was blacked out while she was kissing me. As soon as I realized she was doing it, I shoved her off me. I only ever wanted to kiss you.”
“You moved on quite easily,” I whispered as I drew my right leg up on the seat, leaning my cheek on my knee.
He tightened his hold on my hand. “I didn’t. I was lonely and spiraling into a deep depression. I just needed someone. Kennedy reminded me of you, and I know that sounds horrible, but I just… I don’t know. She never meant anything to me.”
I wiped a tear from my eye. It hurt so much to think about him with other girls. But what did I expect? He was Hayes Morgan. He’d always been a player. “You keep talking about her in the past tense.”
“We aren’t together anymore.”
I lifted my head from my knee. “When did that happen? Was it because of Harley?”
“No, it wasn’t because of Harley. It was because I needed to do the right thing,” he said as he turned down a street, following the GPS directions.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” I lied. I was smiling on the inside even though I knew that made me a bitch.
“I’m not. Besides, she was really stupid.”
“Did it bother her that you kept a picture of us on your nightstand?” I asked. It made my heart flutter to know he’d kept a picture of us.
“Um, well, this should tell you how stupid she is. I told her you were someone from my past that wasn’t coming back. When I saw you at Starbucks the other day, she asked if you were the twin of the dead girl from the picture.”
I laughed slightly. “So she was okay with it because she thought I was dead? Nice.”
He pulled up to Tina’s house and parked. “I can’t wait to see Harley’s little face.”
“Me either. She was in a good mood earlier, although she’s probably asleep now.”
“I just wanted to see her face once today,” he said as we walked up the steps and I knocked on the door.
Tina answered and motioned us in, whispering, “She’s asleep.”
We stepped inside and Hayes immediately introduced himself to Tina before walking over to watch Harley sleep in her portable crib.
“Thank you for watching her. It was nice having a night out,” I told her as I gave her a hug.
“Brad’s been working himself way too hard lately. I thought the both of you deserved a night out.”
We grabbed Harley’s things and placed them inside Hayes’s Jeep a few minutes later. As we drove toward Connie’s house, I looked at Harley sleeping in the backseat and Hayes, who was wearing a smile on his face, I felt something like hope creep into my heart. Hope that everything would be okay and that my life would work out like I’d always wanted.
Chapter 28
Hayes
My break up with Kennedy went pretty well if you call someone yelling and screaming about love and her heart breaking, well. I felt a small amount of guilt for stringing her along for almost a year, but mostly I felt trapped in her dorm room. I wasn’t sure what was considered an appropriate amount of time to stay and listen to her cry and scream. I just wanted to leave.
After she cried for about fifteen minutes, I patted her on the back and left the room. I had been lucky and not received any calls, texts, or appearances from her until a week later. I had just finished getting dressed for my first class when someone started knocking on our door.
“I will kill whoever that is,” Carson groaned as he placed his pillow on top of his head.
I opened the door to see Kennedy standing in front of me looking beautiful. “Kennedy? What are you doing here?”
“I need to ask you a favor.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Okay. What?”
“Tonight is the date party my friend Nicole is throwing. You said we could go when we were together and I was wondering if you’d still go with me.”
I groaned. “Can’t you find someone else?”
“No. I had a boyfriend until last week and now I don’t have any time to find someone else. Besides you owe me. You broke my heart.”
Shit! I didn’t want to say yes, but a part of me felt like I needed to go. Like it would somehow makeup for using her. “Okay. But you know this doesn’t change anything, right?”
She rolled her eyes before saying, “Yeah. I know. You’re in love with your ex-girlfriend. I got it.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” I said because a part of me meant it and it was the right thing to say. I had been cold and unfeeling for the last year, but each time I looked into my daughter’s eyes, a part of my heart mended. It was crazy, but it was as if loving Harley had made my heart open to caring for others again.
“Pick me up at seven? We can go to dinner.”
“Okay,” I said as I closed the door. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes.
“Did you really agree to take Kennedy to that party?” Carson asked.
I took a deep breath then slowly exhaled. “Yeah. I’m trying to be nice.”
“Please, just promise me that y’all aren’t going to happen again. Because if I hear Kennedy refer to the two of you with that stupid nickname she made up that combines your names, I will hurt someone.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Stupid nickname?” I asked. It was way too early for me to figure out what he was talking about on my own.
“You really don’t listen to Kennedy at all, do you? She calls the two of you Hayeseddy or Kenn…something. I don’t remember the order of your names. But that’s how stupid she is. She made up a nickname to call you guys.”
