Chasing the Stars, page 14
I looked down at my bright maroon graduation gown. It was definitely ugly. “Thanks. At least I look better than you.” I unzipped the gown and tossed it in a nearby trash can. “Let’s get out of here. I’m hungry,” I told my family.
***
After dinner with my family, I met up with my friends and Kennedy at Kurt’s field party. I had sworn off drinking because I kept getting completely shit faced and I was worried I’d wind up hurting myself or someone else. I’d been fighting the urge to drink since we arrived, though, because memories of Mackenzie kept creeping into my mind. The field party was where we decided to have our star gazing dates. Where I realized she was special.
“I’m going to get a drink. You want something?” Kennedy asked as she hopped off the tailgate of Austin’s truck.
“I’m good, but thanks,” I said before giving her a quick kiss.
I watched her walk toward the keg while admiring her body. I couldn’t deny that she was beautiful, but she wasn’t as beautiful as someone else. I was beginning to think that I’d never get over Mackenzie. She had to have a good reason for not coming back to me because I truly believed we were made for each other. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she came back to me tomorrow or twenty years from now, I’d drop everything and everyone to be with her.
“How’s that going?” Kurt asked as he pointed in Kennedy’s direction.
I sighed. “It’s going.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“I’m glad you finally moved on. I was starting to worry about you.”
I jumped off the tailgate, wanting to get away from the conversation. “I’m good. Nothing to worry about.” I walked to my Jeep and climbed inside. My head was starting to pound and all I wanted was sleep.
I grabbed my phone from my pocket and sent Kennedy a text.
Me: I’m not feeling good. Going to take off. Can you get a ride back with someone else?
I knew it was a horrible thing to do. I was essentially ditching her but I just didn’t care.
Kennedy: Um, okay. I love you.
I threw the phone in the passenger seat after reading her message. It made me gag a little. She had told me last night that she loved me and I had responded to her by saying I was thirsty and left the room. I wasn’t going to lie to her and say it back. That was wrong.
How could she love me anyway? I had never been that nice to her. I’d never even taken her out on a date. We always hung out with my friends, or if we were alone, we had sex. Nothing else. That wasn’t love.
I turned down the main street and stopped at the red light. I watched a drunk stumble out of the bar and walk to his beat up truck.
I knew the damn drunk.
Kenneth Blanchard. Mackenzie’s dad.
Before I could think better of it, I parked my Jeep next to his truck and hopped out. I grabbed his door handle and hauled him out.
“You’re out of jail?” I gritted out as I pressed him against the side of the truck. My dad hadn’t been allowed to have anything to do with Kenneth’s case because of conflict of interest, and had hidden all of the facts he did know from me. He said the less I knew the better, because I needed to move on with my life.
“Yeah.” He chuckled with the stench of whiskey permeating from him.
“You fucking asshole! You beat your daughter. Hurt your daughter and you walk away! You worthless son of a bitch!”
He laughed. Actually had the nerve to laugh. “You little shit. I don’t care what you think.”
My anger boiled over. “You know what? I think you deserve to feel what she felt,” I told him through clenched teeth before I hit him square in the jaw.
Once I swung at him, I couldn’t stop. I hit him over and over again.
He hurt Mackenzie.
He had hurt the woman that I love. I couldn’t let him get away with that. I couldn’t let him go on with his life when she was God knows where.
I let all of my anger and rage take hold as I hit him. The worst part was that he didn’t fight back. Just laid there, taking punch after punch.
I had no idea how long I hit him, when I felt arms pulling me off him. I looked up into a strangers eyes. I could see his mouth moving, but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying. I just knew that I wasn’t done giving Kenneth Blanchard what he deserved.
He took Mackenzie away from me.
I struggled against the man but he was stronger than me. “Calm down,” I finally heard him say.
I stopped fighting him in order to listen to him. “He’s unconscious. You almost killed him.”
“I don’t fucking care!” I roared at him as I flexed my hand, looking at Kenneth’s bloody face.
“Well, the cops are on their way so you might care in a minute. What the hell did Ken do to you?”
I narrowed my eyes at the stranger that obviously knew Mackenzie’s dad. “He’s a fucking drunk that hits his daughter.”
“Maybe, but you can’t beat the man to death,” he uttered as he kneeled beside Kenneth, taking in his swollen face. “Ken, can you hear me?”
I knew that I’d be hauled into jail, so I decided to call my dad. He needed to hear it from me and not the local police chief. I pressed the call button and waited for my dad to answer as I paced the street.
“Hello,” he answered.
“Hey, Dad, it’s me. I’m kinda in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” he asked slowly.
“I beat the shit out of Mackenzie’s dad.”
“You did what? Hayes, I thought you were past this.”
I looked over at the man lying on the ground. He was awake, talking to the man that had forced me to stop hitting him. At the sight of him talking, my anger picked up a notch making me want to hit him again. “I guess I wasn’t, Dad.”
“I assume the police have been called. I’ll meet you at the police station.”
“Thanks,” I replied before ending the call. I walked back to the two men. “I guess he’s awake?”
“He says you didn’t hit him. That I must be mistaken on what I saw. Or at least I think that’s what he said. Kinda hard to understand a man with a broken jaw.”
I looked at Kenneth’s face, resisting the urge to spit on him. “Is that what you said?”
He nodded just as the ambulance and a police car arrived at the scene. The paramedics began working on Kenneth as the police asked the other guy what he witnessed. I stayed to the side and texted my dad that he might not need to go to the police station. He let me know that he’d meet me at the “crime scene.”
My dad pulled up just as the officers finished getting the other guys statement. I had no idea what he told them, but I decided I’d handle this with the help of a lawyer. I wasn’t saying shit because I had no clue what the other two men had said.
“Have you said anything, yet?” my dad asked me as he stepped next to me with disheveled hair.
“They haven’t asked me anything. Kenneth told the other guy it was someone else. I’m not real sure what they are going to say to the cops though. The guy stopped me from hitting him. He knows it was me.”
“I’ll handle this.”
“I don’t need you to handle this. Last time you handled something, I lost everything.”
He sighed. “You blame me for what happened to Mackenzie? You asked me to help.”
I didn’t blame him. I knew my dad had done exactly as I had asked and called child services. I blamed Kenneth which was exactly why I had beat the shit out of him. “No.”
“Don’t say anything until we talk to our lawyer. He may not press charges, or he may stick with his story that it wasn’t you.”
“Okay,” I told him as the two officers walked in our direction.
“Can we ask you a few questions about what you saw tonight?”
I smiled. “Of course. As soon as my lawyer gets here.”
The two officers gave each other a look before turning their attention back to me. “You can’t tell us what you saw?”
“Officers, I’m Judge Morgan, his father. We’d just feel more comfortable waiting for our lawyer. Is this something we can do at the station?”
“The victim says he was attacked, but the attacker ran off after the other gentleman stopped him.”
“If that’s what he says then I guess that’s what happened. It’s really dark out,” I answered in a bored tone.
One of the officers narrowed his eyes at me. “Here is our card. Give us a call when you feel like telling us what you saw.”
I nodded and accepted the card the officer handed me before watching them walk away.
“It’ll be okay, Hayes. I promise,” my dad said placing a hand on my shoulder.
I looked into his worried eyes. “You know, Dad, I just don’t care anymore.”
“What about college? What about Kennedy?”
“You’re really stupid if you think I care about Kennedy,” I informed him before walking toward my Jeep.
I drove home feeling a little bit lighter knowing I had given Kenneth Blanchard a taste of his own medicine, but a little heavier knowing I had turned into a monster just like him.
Chapter 23
Mackenzie
I had been a mom to Harley Rose for six months. She was an easy baby compared to some that we lived with at Connie’s house. I hadn’t been able to produce breast milk, but she had taken the bottle very easily. Most nights she only woke twice, which made starting classes at the community college a month after she was born a lot easier than I had anticipated.
I had plenty of help from Connie and the other girls that lived with us. We all pitched in and babysat for each other when we had school, work, or just a rare night out. I also had Tina and Brad to help me, which made motherhood almost easy. Almost.
I still had nights when I broke down crying because I was a single mother and felt alone. I knew I wasn’t, but some nights it felt that way.
“Are you sure you don’t mind watching her?” I asked as I placed the diaper bag on Brad’s couch.
“I think I can handle a few hours with her. Besides she loves me. I’m her Uncle Brad.”
I looked into Harley’s beautiful green eyes that were just like her father’s. “It’s just a quick study group at Starbucks so maybe two hours tops.”
He sighed as he adjusted Harley in his arms. “I promise we’ll be fine.”
“I know but usually your mom is around to help. Maybe you can call Maria and see if she can help you?” I grinned. We both knew how Maria felt about me. She basically thought I was trash and wanted absolutely nothing to do with Harley.
“Maria and I broke up,” he told me as he flipped through channels on the TV.
“I’m sorry. When did that happen?” I asked as I double checked the diaper bag contents.
“Last week? I don’t really remember. She just wasn’t my type and I wasn’t hers. I’m not a suit and tie type of guy and that’s what she wanted.”
“That’s… I’m really sorry,” I said because I meant it. Maria and I didn’t like each other but I wanted Brad to be happy. “Everything is in here,” I declared as I zipped up the diaper bag. I always double checked her bag when I dropped her off with anyone. I couldn’t help my anxiety that I would forget something that she would need.
He pointed to the door. “Get out of here. I got this. Promise.”
I gave Harley a quick kiss goodbye before I left the apartment. I knew that Harley would be fine with Brad, but as a mother I couldn’t help but worry. He wasn’t used to kids, especially babies, and I didn’t want it to be a terrible experience for either of them.
I walked to the bus stop to wait for the bus that would drop me a block from the Starbucks near the community college. I still couldn’t afford a car, but because my rent and bills were cheap at Connie’s house, I was close to buying a used car. I just needed someone to teach me how to drive first. My parents had never showed me how and I had never even gotten my license. No point when I didn’t have a car to drive.
I stepped off the bus twenty minutes later and buttoned up my coat. It was a bitterly cold January and I couldn’t wait to feel the warmth inside the Starbucks. I pulled the door to the coffee shop open, and scanned the few people standing in line for anyone in my study group. I was relieved to see I was the first to arrive. I hated making people wait on me which is why I was usually early for everything.
After the barista took my order, I waited to the side for my name to be called. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but before I could glance around, my name was called. I took my cup gratefully letting it warm my hands.
I turned around to come face to face with green piercing eyes. My breath caught and I felt like I was going to pass out. No way was I standing in front of Hayes Morgan. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t do anything but look into his beautiful eyes.
“Mac?” he finally managed, his voice cracking.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
He reached his hand out like he was going to touch me then dropped it. “I can’t believe it’s you. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again.”
I pulled my eyes away from him to notice the beautiful girl standing beside him with her arm wrapped around his forearm. “It’s really me. It was nice seeing you, but I have to go.”
I marched to the door as fast as I could without looking back. I had to get out of there. Away from Hayes and definitely away from his girlfriend. Before I could make it far, I heard him yelling, “Mackenzie! Mackenzie, wait.”
I didn’t turn around as I quickened my pace. I couldn’t talk to him. I didn’t know what to say. How do you tell someone that you haven’t seen in over a year that they have a child they didn’t know about? How do you talk to someone and not tell them that they have a child?
I didn’t get very much further before I felt a hand wrap around my arm, stopping me. In an instant, Hayes was in front of me grabbing both of my arms. “Just stop. Okay?”
I said nothing as I took in his face. He was still absolutely the best looking guy I had ever laid eyes on, but he looked different. His beautiful eyes looked dead where they used to be full of life. “You can’t run off when it’s been over a year since I’ve seen you.”
I closed my eyes trying to gather my thoughts. “What do you want me to say?”
He smiled and my heart melted. I had missed seeing his smile. “You could start with ‘Hi.’ Then you could tell me how great I look,” he joked.
I laughed in a way only Hayes could make me laugh. “Hi. You look…good.”
“Wasn’t so bad was it? You look amazing, Mackenzie,” he said as he placed both of his hands in his coat pocket. We both stared at each other for a moment before he spoke. “I’m sorry I can’t think of anything to say. I have so much I want to say to you, but can’t think of a single thing. I just can’t believe your standing right in front of me.”
I nodded because I felt the same way. “Crazy, right? Look…I have to go.” Screw study group. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway and I knew Hayes’s girlfriend was still inside the coffee shop. I couldn’t stomach watching them together.
“Can I walk you to your car?” he asked as he grabbed my hand.
I closed my eyes as my hand tingled at his touch. I still loved him. I hated that I felt that way though. He had never loved me. “That’s okay. Thanks though. Great seeing you.”
“Can I see you again?”
I bit the side of my bottom lip. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Take care.”
He stepped up close to me and kissed me gently on the cheek. “I’ve missed you so much, Mackenzie. So much. Can I give you my number in case you change your mind?”
I hated seeing the hurt on his face, but he was the one that never really cared about me. “I won’t change my mind.” I noticed Hayes wipe tears from his eyes before I took a step back then began walking down the street toward the bus stop.
I waited until I was seated on the bus before I gave in to the tears. I let them fall down my cheeks as I felt all the hurt I had never really let myself feel before. I had always been in survival mode, but seeing Hayes had brought all of the pain to the forefront.
Even though I saw Hayes every time I looked at my daughter, I was able to block everything else out. I was able to forget about him lying to me every time he told me he loved me. I was even able to block out the images of him and Baylee kissing. I was able to forget all of that because he gave me Harley who had brought nothing but joy to my life.
I exited the bus and quickly wiped the tears from my face. I didn’t want Brad to see me crying. I knew he’d figure it out, but I was hoping I’d released all of my tears over Hayes on the bus.
I knocked on his door and was greeted with the sight of Brad holding my sleeping daughter on his shoulder. It was a sweet moment that I cherished because I knew that he cared about Harley and me.
He furrowed his brows as he observed my tear stained face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I answered as I took Harley from his arms.
“You’ve been crying. You can’t hide that from me. Hell, you can’t hide that from anyone.”
I rubbed Harley’s head. “It’s nothing.”
“What happened to study group? You haven’t been gone that long,” he asked as he closed the front door then flopped down on his couch.
I took a long, deep breath. “I ran into Hayes.”
He stared at me for a moment before asking, “What did you say?”
“Not much.”
He bit his lip, deep in thought. I knew where his mind was going before he even asked. “You didn’t mention Harley at all?”
I glanced at my daughter’s beautiful face before returning my gaze to Brad. “No. You can’t immediately tell someone you haven’t seen in over a year that they have a child.”
“Then when do you plan on telling the guy? It’s wrong for you to keep this from him.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to get in touch with him anyway.”
He got up and walked to the kitchen. I could hear him open the fridge then a moment later he was back with a beer can in his hand. He opened the can and took a long drink. “You know I’m a detective, right? I’m pretty good at figuring shit like that out. But you also know exactly where his parents live. You could always call them for his number.”
