Complete Works of Ford Madox Ford, page 569
It was a godsend; yet it was absurd. Like the weather machine of the old man and the old woman on opposite ends of the stick...When the old man came out the old woman went in and it would rain; when the old woman came out...It was exactly like that! She hadn’t time to work out the analogy. But it was like that...In rainy weather the whole world altered. Darkened!...The cat-gut that turned them slackened...slackened...But, always, they remained at opposite ends of the stick!
Mark was saying, the umbrella crook hindering his utterance:
‘We buy then an annuity of five hundred for your mother...’
It was astonishing, though it spread tranquillity through her, how little this astonished her. It was the merely retarded expected. Mr. Tietjens senior, an honourable man, had promised as much years ago. Her mother, an august genius, was to wear herself out putting, Mr Tietjens alive, his political views in his paper. He was to make it up to her. He was making it up. In no princely fashion, but adequately, as a gentleman.
Mark Tietjens, bending over, held a piece of paper. A bell-boy came up to him and said: ‘Mr Riccardo?’ Mark Tietjens said: ‘No! He’s gone!’ He continued:
‘Your brother...Shelved for the moment. But enough to buy a practice, a good practice! When he’s a full-fledged sawbones.’ He stopped, he directed upon her his atrabilarian eyes, biting his umbrella handle; he was extremely nervous.
‘Now you!’ he said. ‘Two or three hundred. A year of course! The capital absolutely your own...’ He paused: ‘But I warn you! Christopher won’t like it. He’s got his knife into me. I wouldn’t grudge you...oh, any sum!’...He waved his hand to indicate an amount boundless in its figures. ‘I know you keep Christopher straight,’ he said. The only person that could!’ He added: ‘Poor devil!’
She said:
‘He’s got his knife into you? Why?’
He answered vaguely:
‘Oh, there’s been all this talk...Untrue, of course.’ She said:
‘People have been saying things against you? To him? Perhaps because there’s been delay in settling the estate.’
He said:
‘Oh, no! The other way round, in fact!’
‘Then they have been saying,’ she exclaimed, ‘things against...against me. And him!’
He exclaimed in anguish:
‘Oh, but I ask you to believe...I beg you to believe that I believe...you! Miss Wannop!’ He added grotesquely: ‘As pure as dew that lies within Aurora’s sun-tipped...2 His eyes stuck out like those of a suffocating fish. He said: ‘I beg you not on that account to hand the giddy mitten to...’ He writhed in his tight double collar. ‘His wife!’ he said...’She’s no good to...for him!...She’s soppily in love with him. But no good...’ He very nearly sobbed. ‘You’re the only...’ he said, ‘I know...’
It came into her head that she was losing too much time in this Salle des Pas Perdus! She would have to take the train home! Fivepence! But what did it matter. Her mother had five hundred a year...Two hundred and forty times five...
Mark said brightly:
‘If now we bought your mother an annuity of five hundred...You say that’s ample to give Christopher his chop...And settled on her three...four...I like to be exact...hundred a year...The capital of it: with remainder to you...’ His interrogative face beamed.
She saw now the whole situation with perfect plainness. She understood Mrs Duchemin’s:
‘You couldn’t expect us, with our official position...to connive...’ Edith Ethel had been perfectly right. She couldn’t be expected...She had worked too hard to appear circumspect and right! You can’t ask people to lay down their whole lives for their friends!...It was only of Tietjens you could ask that! She said — to Mark:
‘It’s as if the whole world had conspired...like a carpenter’s vice — to force us...’ she was going to say ‘together.’ But he burst in, astonishingly:
‘He must have his buttered toast...and his mutton chop...and Rhum St James!’ He said: ‘Damn it all...You were made for him...You can’t blame people for coupling you...They’re forced to it...If you hadn’t existed they’d have had to invent you...Like Dante for...who was it?...Beatrice? There are couples like that.’
She said:
‘Like a carpenter’s vice...Pushed together. Irresistibly. Haven’t we resisted?’
His face became panic-stricken; his bulging eyes pushed away towards the pulpit of the two commissionaires. He whispered:
‘You won’t...because of my ox’s hoof...desert...’
She said: — she heard Macmaster whispering it hoarsely. ‘I ask you to believe that I will never...abandon...’
It was what Macmaster had said. He must have got it from Mrs. Micawber!
Christopher Tietjens — in his shabby khaki, for his wife had spoilt his best uniform — said suddenly from behind her back, since he had approached her from beyond the pulpit of the two commissionaires and she had been turned towards Mark on his bench:
‘Come along! Let’s get out of this!’ He was, she asked herself, getting out of this! Towards what?
Like mutes from a funeral — or as if she had been, between the brothers, a prisoner under escort — they walked down steps; half righted towards the exit arch; one and a half righted to face Whitehall. The brothers grunted inaudible but satisfied sounds over her head. They crossed, by the islands, Whitehall, where the bus had brushed her skirt. Under an archway —
In a stony, gravelled majestic space the brothers faced each other. Mark said:
‘I suppose you won’t shake hands!’
Christopher said:
‘No! Why should I?’ She herself had cried out to Christopher:
‘Oh, do!’ (The wireless squares overhead no longer concerned her. Her brother was, no doubt, getting drunk in a bar in Piccadilly...A surface coarseness!)
Mark said:
‘Hadn’t you better? You might get killed! A fellow just getting killed would not like to think he had refused to shake his brother by the hand!’
Christopher had said: ‘Oh...well!’
During her happiness over this hyperborean sentimentality he had gripped her thin upper arm. He had led her past swans — or possibly huts; she never remembered which — to a seat that had over it, or near it, a weeping willow. He had said, gasping too, like a fish:
‘Will you be my mistress to-night? I am going out tomorrow at 8.3o from Waterloo.’
She had answered:
‘Yes! Be at such and such a studio just before twelve...I have to see my brother home...He will be drunk...’ She meant to say: ‘Oh, my darling, I have wanted you so much...’
She said instead:
‘I have arranged the cushions...
She said to herself:
‘Now whatever made me say that? It’s as if I had said: “You’ll find the ham in the larder under a plate...” No tenderness about it...
She went away, up a cockle-shelled path, between ankle-high railings, crying bitterly. An old tramp, with red weeping eyes and a thin white beard, regarded her curiously from where he lay on the grass. He imagined himself the monarch of that landscape.
‘That’s women!’ he said with the apparently imbecile enigmaticality of the old and the hardened. ‘Some do!’ He spat into the grass; said ‘Ah!’ then added: ‘Some do not!’
VI
He let himself in at the heavy door; when he closed it behind him, in the darkness, the heaviness of the door sent long surreptitious whisperings up the great stone stairs. These sounds irritated him. If you shut a heavy door on an enclosed space it will push air in front of it and there will be whisperings; the atmosphere of mystery was absurd. He was just a man, returning after a night out...Two-thirds, say, of a night out! It must be half-past three. But what the night had lacked in length it had made up in fantastic aspects...
He laid his cane down on the invisible oak chest and, through the tangible and velvety darkness that had always in it the chill of the stone of walls and stairs, he felt for the handle of the breakfast-room door.
Three long parallelograms existed: pale glimmerings above, cut two-thirds of the way down by the serrations of chimney-pot and roof-shadows! Nine full paces across the heavy piled carpet; then he ought to reach his round-backed chair, by the left-hand window. He sank into it; it fitted exactly his back. He imagined that no man had ever been so tired and that no man had ever been so alone! A small, alive sound existed at the other end of the room; in front of him existed one and a half pale parallelograms. They were the reflection of the windows in the mirror; the sound was no doubt Calton, the cat. Something alive, at any rate! Possibly Sylvia at the other end of the room, waiting for him, to see what he looked like. Most likely! It didn’t matter!
His mind stopped! Sheer weariness!
When it went on again it was saying:
‘Naked shingles and surges drear...’ and, ‘On these debatable borders of the world!’ He said sharply: ‘Nonsense!’ The one was either Calais beach or Dover sands of the whiskered man: Arnold...He would be seeing them both within the twenty-four hours...But no! He was going from Waterloo. Southampton, Havre, therefore!...The other was by that detestable fellow: ‘the subject of our little monograph!’...What a long time ago!...He saw a pile of shining despatch cases: the inscription ‘This rack is reserved for...’: a coloured — pink and blue! — photograph of Boulogne sands and the held up squares, the proofs of ‘our little...’ What a long time ago! He heard his own voice saying in the new railway carriage, proudly, clearly and with male hardness:
‘I stand for monogamy and chastity. And for no talking about it. Of course if a man who’s a man wants to have a woman he has her. And again no talking about it...! His voice — his own voice — came to him as if from the other end of a long-distance telephone. A damn long-distance one! Ten years...
If then a man who’s a man wants to have a woman...Damn it, he doesn’t! In ten years he had learnt that a Tommie who’s a decent fellow...His mind said at one and the same moment, the two lines running one over the other like the two subjects of a fugue:
‘Some beguiling virgins with the broken seals of perjury,’ and:
‘Since when we stand side by side, only hands may meet
He said:
‘But damn it; damn it again! The beastly fellow was wrong! Our hands didn’t meet...I don’t believe I’ve shaken hands...I don’t believe I’ve touched the girl...in my life...Never once!...Not the hand-shaking sort...A nod!...A meeting and parting!...English, you know...But yes! she put her arm over my shoulders...On the bank!...On such short acquaintance! I said to myself then...Well, we’ve made up for it since then. Or no! Not made up!...Atoned...As Sylvia so aptly put it; at that moment mother was dying...
He, his conscious self, said:
‘But it was probably the drunken brother...You don’t beguile virgins with the broken seals of perjury in Kensington High Street at two at night supporting, one on each side, a drunken bluejacket with intermittent legs...’
‘Intermittent!’ was the word. ‘Intermittently functioning!’
At one point the boy had broken from them and run with astonishing velocity along the dull wood paving of an immense empty street. When they had caught him up he had been haranguing under black trees, with an Oxford voice, an immobile policeman:
‘You’re the fellows!’ he’d been exclaiming, ‘who make old England what she is! You keep the peace in our homes! You save us from the vile excesses...
Tietjens himself he had always addressed with the voice and accent of a common seaman; with his coarsened surface voice!
He had the two personalities. Two or three times he had said:
‘Why don’t you kiss the girl? She’s a nice girl, isn’t she? You’re a poor b —— y Tommie, ain’t cher? Well, the poor b —— y Tommies ought to have all the nice girls they want! That’s straight, isn’t it?...’
And, even at that time they hadn’t known what was going to happen...There are certain cruelties...They had got a four-wheel cab at last. The drunken boy had sat beside the driver; he had insisted...Her little, pale, shrunken face had gazed straight before her...It hadn’t been possible to speak; the cab, rattling all over the road, had been pulled up with frightful jerks when the boy had grabbed the reins...The old driver hadn’t seemed to mind; but they had had to subscribe all the money in their pockets to pay him after they had carried the boy into the black house...
Tietjens’ mind said to him:
‘Now when they came to her father’s house so nimbly she slipped in, and said: “There is a fool without and there is a maid within...”’
He answered dully:
‘Perhaps that’s what it really amounts to...’ He had stood at the hall door, she looking out at him with a pitiful face. Then from the sofa within the brother had begun to snore; enormous, grotesque sounds, like the laughter of unknown races from darkness. He had turned and walked down the path, she following him. He had exclaimed:
‘It’s perhaps too...untidy...’
She had said:
‘Yes Yes...Ugly...Too...oh...private!’
He said, he remembered:
‘But...for ever...’
She said, in a great hurry:
‘But when you come back...Permanently. And...oh, as if it were in public...I don’t know,’ she had added. ‘Ought we?...I’d be ready...’ She added: ‘I will be ready for anything you ask.’
He had said at some time: ‘But obviously...Not under this roof...’ And he had added: ‘We’re the sort that...do not!’
She had answered, quickly too:
‘Yes — that’s it. We’re that sort!’ And then she had asked: ‘And Ethel’s party? Was it a great success?’ It hadn’t, she knew, been an inconsequence. He had answered:
‘Ah...That’s permanent...That’s public...There was Rugeley: The Duke...Sylvia brought him. She’ll be a great friend!...And the President of the...Local Government Board, I think...And a Belgian...equivalent to Lord Chief Justice...and, of course, Claudine Sandbach...Two hundred and seventy; all of the best, the modestly elated Guggumses said as I left! And Mr Ruggles...Yes!...They’re established...No place for me!’
‘Nor for me!’ she had answered. She added: ‘But I’m glad!’
Patches of silence ran between them: they hadn’t yet got out of the habit of thinking they had to hold up the drunken brother. That had seemed to last for a thousand painful months...Long enough to acquire a habit. The brother seemed to roar: ‘Haw-Haw — Kuryasch. 2 And after two minutes: Haw — Haw — Kuryasch. 2 Hungarian, no doubt!
He said:
‘It was splendid to see Vincent standing beside the Duke. Showing him a first edition! Not of course quite the thing for a, after all, wedding party! But how was Rugeley to know that?...And Vincent not in the least servile! He even corrected cousin Rugeley over the meaning of the word colophon! The first time he ever corrected a superior! Established, you see!...And practically cousin Rugeley...Dear Sylvia Tietjens’ cousin, so the next to nearest thing! Wife of Lady Macmaster’s oldest friend...Sylvia going to them in their — quite modest! — little place in Surrey...As for us,’ he had concluded, ‘they also serve who only stand and wait...’
She said:
‘I suppose the rooms looked lovely.’
He had answered:
‘Lovely...They’d got all the pictures by that beastly fellow up from the rectory study in the dining-room on dark oak panelling...A fair blaze of bosoms and nipples and lips and pomegranates...The tallest silver candlesticks of course...You remember, silver candlesticks and dark oak...’
She said:
‘Oh, my dear...Don’t...Don’t!’.
He had just touched the rim of his helmet with his folded gloves.
‘So we just wash out!’ he had said.
She said:
‘Would you take this bit of parchment...I got a little Jew girl to write on it in Hebrew: It’s “God bless you and keep you: God watch over you at your goings out and at...”’
He tucked it into his breast pocket.
The talismanic passage,’ he said. ‘Of course I’ll wear it...’
She said:
‘If we could wash out this afternoon...It would make it easier to bear...Your poor mother, you know, she was dying when we last...’
He said:
‘You remember that...Even then you...And if I hadn’t gone to Lobscheid...’
She said:
‘From the first moment I set eyes on you...
He said:
‘And I I...from the first moment...I’ll tell you...If I looked out of a door...It was all like sand...But to the half left a little bubbling up of water. That could be trusted. To keep on for ever...You, perhaps, won’t understand.’
She said:
‘Yes! I know!’
They were seeing landscapes...Sand dunes; close-cropped...Some negligible shipping; a stump-masted brig from Archangel...
‘From the first moment,’ he repeated.
She said:
‘If we could wash out...’
He said, and for the first moment felt grand, tender, protective:
‘Yes, you can,’ he said. ‘You cut out from this afternoon, just before 4.58 it was when I said that to you and you consented...I heard the Horse Guards clock...To now...Cut it out; and join time up...It can be done...You know they do it surgically; for some illness; cut out a great length of the bowel and join the tube up...For colitis, I think...
She said:
‘But I wouldn’t cut it out...It was the first spoken sign.’
He said:
‘No it wasn’t...From the very beginning...with every word...’
She exclaimed:
‘You felt that...Too!...We’ve been pushed, as in a carpenter’s vice...We couldn’t have got away...He said: ‘By God! That’s it...’
He suddenly saw a weeping willow in St James’s Park; 4.59! He had just said: ‘Will you be my mistress to-night?’ She had gone away, half left, her hands to her face...A small fountain; half left. That could be trusted to keep on for ever...
Along the lake side, sauntering, swinging his crooked stick, his incredibly shiny top-hat perched sideways, his claw-hammer coat tails, very long, flapping out behind, in dusty sunlight, his magpie pince-nez gleaming, had come, naturally, Mr Ruggles. He had looked at the girl; then down at Tietjens, sprawled on his bench. He had just touched the brim of his shiny hat. He said:
