The Daughter-in-Law, page 7
Hope was on her feet in an instant, bending down to scoop Hazel up from the sandpit. ‘Where is she?’
Hazel was furious at being ripped from her new game, and her mouth open to scream again, but once she was balanced on Hope’s hip she must have caught the sense of urgency and stopped.
Hope walked as fast she could. Aliya’s father had taken the buggy and was leading the way. Where the hell was Edie? Once Hope reached the climbing frame, she saw a small group of people by the slide, two of them squatting over a small, seated figure in shorts and stripy T-shirt that Hope immediately recognized. Betty was sobbing.
‘Excuse me. She’s mine,’ she said, pushing her way to the front of the group. Betty looked up at her with tear-filled eyes.
‘She was pushed off the top of the slide,’ someone explained.
‘I want Mummy!’
Hope noticed the stillness of her granddaughter’s swollen left arm as she held it protectively, a bruise already forming. ‘Poor Betty.’ She reached out to stroke the hair off her granddaughter’s forehead. Hazel pitched herself towards the ground but Hope caught her in time. ‘I’m going to find Mummy. Wait here.’ She turned to Aliya’s dad. ‘Could you possibly wait with her for a few minutes? Edie’s here somewhere.’
‘Of course, I’ll keep an eye on the buggy too. Aliya,’ he called, ‘come and talk to Betty.’
Hope half-ran back to the playground entrance where she had last seen Edie going to meet her friend. Perhaps they had gone for a coffee from the kiosk, or for ice creams for the kids. She left the playground enclosure to enter the park and worked her way round the perimeter fence towards the spot where she’d seen the flash of white. In the bushes, she saw a man and a woman standing close together. The woman was wearing a white shirt and jeans, and she had her back to Hope. She almost walked past them, but the woman’s dark blonde ponytail made her stop.
‘Edie?’
The woman turned abruptly. It was her. As she whipped round, her expression changed from irritation to alarm. ‘Hope?’
Hope saw the man take a step back. Her impression was of someone tall, in chinos, check shirt with rolled-up sleeves. She did notice that he was rubbing his mouth, awkwardly – guiltily.
‘Betty’s hurt herself,’ Hope explained, refocusing on the situation.
Edie’s mouth fell open.
‘She fell off the slide,’ she went on. ‘I think she may have broken her arm.’
‘Oh my God, where is she? I thought you were watching her.’
‘I was, but Hazel…’
Edie wasn’t interested. She turned to her companion. ‘I must go. We’ll speak.’
‘Of course.’ He disappeared through the trees into the main park itself, but not before reaching out towards her. It was just the smallest of movements, but Hope couldn’t miss the way Edie’s fingers instinctively reached towards him. There was an intimacy in the gesture that suggested a multitude of unsaid things.
And then the moment was gone.
Edie grabbed Hazel. ‘Where is Betty?’
Hope led the way as quickly as she could. When they got back to the slide, Betty was still sitting on the ground with Aliya and her father on either side of her. As they approached, Edie thrust Hazel into Hope’s arms so she could crouch down in front of Betty, who burst into tears again the moment she saw her.
‘My pet, what have you done?’ Edie kissed her forehead, careful not to hurt her by hugging her. She listened to Aliya’s father explain. ‘Adnam, thank you so much for staying with her.’
‘Of course.’ He inclined his head. ‘She should have that arm X-rayed. Let me drive you to A&E.’
‘That’s so kind. Thank you.’ She turned to Hope. ‘Will you take Hazel home? Paul will look after her. I’ll call him and let him know what’s happening.’
Her tone of voice! Rage simmered inside Hope. She had done everything she could in the circumstances. If anyone was guilty of neglect, it was Edie. And for what? For that man, that stranger? Why? She didn’t want to believe the worst.
The two of them stared at each other as Edie waited for Hope to answer. Guilt flashed across Edie’s face. ‘Please,’ she stuttered.
Hope inclined her head. ‘Of course.’ As Edie walked away with Betty and Adnam, she wondered what it was that had made Edie feel guilty. Her abrasive manner with Hope, or the fact that she had been found where she shouldn’t have been?
8
That night, Edie went to bed before Paul, exhausted. Betty was finally asleep, with a temporary cast on her arm. A displaced fracture. As soon as they’d made it back from the hospital, she’d thanked Hope for all that she’d done… and asked her to leave. Perhaps she had been too short when she refused Hope’s offers of help, telling her Jen had agreed to come back early now she was back from travelling. She could see Hope was hurt and desperate to make up for her attention lapse. But how could Edie trust her with the girls now?
Most disturbing of all, what had her mother-in-law seen? Her and Daniel, together. Would she say anything? What a stupid, stupid risk Edie had taken. Meeting Daniel there had felt chancy but, however wrong, the brief moments they’d had together had been deliciously thrilling. She needed that excitement of him in her life.
Paul was outside in his woodworking shed, so she knew she had at least half an hour without interruption. Propped up on cushions and pillows, she started texting Daniel.
Betty’s broken arm. Pushed off slide. Feeling terrible as shd have been watching her. That was my mother-in-law. Don’t know what to say to her
He replied quickly.
Say nothing. Hope for best and never risk it again. Glad you’re back in chambers soon
Despite herself, Edie felt a guilty rush of exhilaration. Paul was without question one of the best men she had ever met, but Daniel had always had her heart. She realized that now. He made her feel more than Paul ever would. For a few hours with him, she felt passionate, alive. She could forget the reality of her life and experience what they once had together. She wanted to make her marriage work, but she needed more out of it if it was to last. Was it so wrong to find what was lacking with Daniel if it made the marriage possible? Their affair suited them both and it made her feel good – as long as she didn’t think about the future and what would happen to them.
why?
She knew exactly why but wanted him to say it. Even after two years of seeing each other as often as they could, until the late stage of her pregnancy and Hazel’s birth, she needed that reassurance that he still wanted her as much as she did him. Of course they had kept in touch and met for the occasional coffee, but now they were heading into new uncharted waters. She could feel it. Her pregnancy hadn’t repelled him, just served to make him want her more.
You know very well
He didn’t give in to her prompt.
can’t wait
She deleted that as soon as she had typed it. This was all wrong. She shouldn’t be chasing past dreams, risking everything she had. But, but, but… she couldn’t ignore her feelings. Daniel and she had been inseparable until work had made their relationship impossible by separating them geographically. They’d originally met doing their pupillages in London and spent all their free time together. When she was with him, then and now, she felt complete in a way that she never would with Paul. When she met and married Paul, she had told herself Daniel was part of her past. But when he showed up again, some years later, she knew immediately that she had to have him in her life, that she couldn’t live without him however much she would be deceiving Paul. So what the hell was she meant to do?
Maybe – she typed instead – see you soon
Paul would be in bed soon, oblivious to anything wrong. He had settled into their changed domestic routine with enthusiasm, whereas she found it utterly draining. Even when she had put on her dark suits and gone back to work after Betty’s birth, the clothes felt like a camouflage, disguising the drab weary her that was inside. Childbirth had taken something from her. She no longer felt attractive or sexy, and despite having done one of the main things women were created to do, she’d lost all sense of her femininity. But that was the point. Her body had changed. Her mindset had changed. Guilt ran through her like a seam in a block of marble. Everything was different. Except Daniel. He was the same exciting, sexy, lovable man he had always been. Every time she saw him, she realized how much she missed that and how different he made her feel.
She had been standing in the queue for lunch at the coffee shop in the square near her chambers, soon after returning to work from her first maternity leave.
‘Excuse me, but there’s something on your shoulder.’ The voice came from behind her, and she would have recognized it anywhere.
She swung round and stared, disbelieving. ‘Daniel!’ Her breath felt as if it had been stolen from her chest.
He looked as shocked as she was. ‘Edie! I—’
‘What are you doing here? I thought you were in Newcastle?’
‘Jesus, Edie. I didn’t… your hair.’
Of course, the long dark blonde hair he had known had been cut and tamed. He was the last person she expected to see, and she found she couldn’t stop staring at him. He wasn’t conventionally handsome, but he had an open face and a seductive smile, she thought as he took a serviette, poured a little of his water over it and dabbed at the back of her shoulder. ‘There.’ He took a step away, satisfied. ‘No one would know.’
‘Thanks. The baby must have puked on me and I didn’t notice.’ Now at the front of the queue, she put her egg sandwich on the counter and asked for a skinny latte with almond milk. When she’d paid and turned round to leave, he was waiting for her.
‘So you have a baby?’ He sounded surprised. ‘I thought you were—’
‘Married to the Bar? Still am, really.’
‘Shall we find a bench in the square and have lunch together? We’ve obviously got lots to catch up on.’
Her immediate instinct had been to run back to work, but then she told herself he would be a good sounding board for her upcoming cases. Also, she was curious about him. How had he spent the years since they parted? What had brought him back to London? Perhaps he had a family too now.
‘Just quickly then,’ she said. ‘If we can find one. I’ve only got half an hour. You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.’
‘Maggie, my wife, pulled off her dream job in the brain and behaviour research lab at Imperial College.’ So, he was married too. Her face must have given away something of what she was feeling. He smiled. ‘Don’t ask. I don’t entirely understand it myself, but we moved here. Luckily for me, a place came up with the Newman Garlake Chambers, so here I am.’
‘When did you get married?’ She shouldn’t be jealous of another man’s wife. But she was.
‘A couple of years ago. We already had a baby so just sealed the deal.’ He laughed. ‘She’s the sister of one of my colleagues up there. A real high-flyer.’ He looked down at the sandwich he was carrying. ‘Bit like you.’
At first glance, there were no benches, but they found one when a couple got up to leave, bagging it before another man who was heading purposefully towards it. They laughed together as they sat down and something sparked between them. Did he feel it too?
‘So,’ he said. ‘You’re still in chambers here?’
Immediately, the talk turned to their work – the one obvious thing they had in common now. Their families felt like dangerous territory somehow. There wasn’t room for other people in their relationship. Daniel soon had her laughing. He wasn’t afraid of taking the mickey out of himself as he told her about his new colleagues and one of the most recent cases he’d worked on: a man who’d been found guilty of murdering his wife and child, despite protesting his distress on nationwide TV before his arrest. The half-hour vanished and, as they returned to their almost neighbouring doorways in the square, they agreed to meet for lunch again. For the rest of that day, despite her attention being taken up by a child custody case, her spirits were lifted.
Now, Edie lay back against the pillows with her eyes closed, picturing their bench under the cherry tree where she and Daniel had sat so often before her second maternity leave. She had hardly dared question who Hazel’s father really was when she was pregnant with her, but kept the thought at bay. Paul wanted another child and she found herself going along with it. When Hazel was born, her nose and something about the set of her mouth and chin made Edie certain she was Paul’s. Relief took over from her guilt and fear. She heard the click of the bedroom door.
‘You awake?’ Paul whispered.
‘Mmmm. Just.’ Her daydream evaporated as she rolled over to face him while he undressed and got into bed.
He reached out to stroke back a lock of hair from her cheek. ‘Still beautiful.’
At that moment, the baby monitor sprang into life as Hazel started whimpering.
‘No, no, no. She can’t. Not now. I’m exhausted.’ She rolled over in despair. Hazel’s cries got louder.
Paul sighed. ‘I’ll go, then. But I’m starting a new job tomorrow so you might have to take over if she won’t settle.’ He had gone before she had even thought to ask what the job was, his resentment lying heavy in the air for once. Because he didn’t turn the baby alarm off, she could hear him calming Hazel down. Provided he found the dummy and she didn’t spit it out in anger, he wouldn’t be long. The sound of his shushing and singing snatches of sea shanties was so soothing that Edie felt herself drifting off even before their daughter did.
* * *
Hazel screeched her delight at rejoining the world at five a.m. Edie made sure she was the one to get up and attend to her, whisking her downstairs before she woke the others. There was little time to talk as Paul got ready for work. ‘I may be late back depending how it goes. It’s complicated.’
Edie had by now at least established that his new job was making an elaborate ziggurat-styled bookcase for someone in Finchley – lots of work for relatively little financial reward. The two girls and she waved him off before going back inside and collapsing in front of CBeebies for a while. She knew she shouldn’t, that there was a mountain of household chores to be done – clearing up breakfast, emptying the dishwasher, putting on another load of washing, making their lunch, playing… on and on it went – but sometimes… well, a person just had to let go. And anyway, Betty was a bit off-colour, although not apparently in any pain. But a whole day spent at home with no relief? It yawned ahead of them.
And yet as she let the bright cartoons flow across the screen, Edie went over the events of the day before. Would Hope say something to her about Daniel? What if she said something to Paul? Edie would have to pre-empt her in some way. Come on! she thought to herself, getting up and going into the kitchen. She was a woman used to making decisions, but her capacity for doing so had virtually deserted her since Hazel’s birth and her confinement to home. She shoved the laundry into the washing machine before standing straight and stretching. It was time to get back into gear.
She would pay Hope a visit that afternoon. Jen was coming over to see the girls, so that would be perfect. She could get to know Hazel while Edie left them for a couple of hours.
Her phone, lying on the breakfast bar among the debris of breakfast, began to ring. That could wait. Then she saw Hope’s name on the screen and picked up.
‘Hello? Edie?’ Hope sounded apprehensive. ‘I just wanted to see how Betty is today.’
‘Much better. Bit sorry for herself, of course.’ Edie picked at a nail. ‘Actually I’m pleased you’ve phoned. I’m sorry I was a bit tense last night. Could I pop over this afternoon if you’ve got time?’ She wondered whether Hope would think this was odd? But, if she didn’t see her, how else would she be sure to shut this down?
‘Oh!’ Hope sounded surprised. ‘Well, yes, do. I think I should be clear by about four. Will you be bringing the girls?’
Was there a note of suspicion in that voice or was Edie reading too much into it?
‘I’d better see how things are. Jen’s coming over so probably not.’
Betty moaned and held out her water beaker. ‘More.’
‘I’ve got to go, Hope. Betty needs me. We’ll talk this afternoon.’ If Hope didn’t suspect something was up, she was wasn’t as smart as Edie thought she was. But now she’d gone down this path, Edie had to follow it to the end.
* * *
Hope’s house always struck Edie as being like the TARDIS. Its narrow Victorian frontage gave nothing away of the living space behind it. A small well-tended garden led to the stone steps up the front door, nothing like the chaotic riot of colour that Hope favoured in the back. Through the living room window, Edie could see the large round mirror over the mantlepiece, one or two invitations and cards beneath it, and that strange Scandinavian vase Hope loved so much containing four or five blousy pink and red roses. She rang the doorbell and waited, going through what she wanted to say to Hope one more time.
After a moment or two, she heard steps in the hallway and the door opened. Hope’s apron was scattered with flour. She frowned slightly as she welcomed Edie in. The spicy smell of something cooking drifted up the stairs, making Edie feel queasy.
‘Vita’s upstairs finishing up some admin.’
‘Don’t worry, I won’t take up too much of your time.’ Edie was grateful to have been given an excuse for a quick exit.
‘No, no. It’s absolutely fine. I’ve just been making a chicken curry.’ Hope looked down as she wiped her hands on her apron. ‘Look, I really am sorry about what happened yesterday. I was trying to deal with Hazel when I lost Betty.’
‘I know you were.’ Edie was cautious. ‘Hazel can be so grouchy, much more than Betty ever was.’
‘I couldn’t be in two places at once and you’d disappeared.’ She led the way downstairs. ‘Coffee?’
‘Please.’ Edie took a stool at the island. ‘I bumped into a friend from work, you see.’ Keep it as close to the truth as you can, Edie. ‘I would have introduced you, but everything happened so suddenly.’
