Rumspringa's Hope, page 15
Emma had grinned when Caleb suggested flying a kite. She’d never flown one but had always wanted to. Of all the things she was curious about, this was one she was truly interested in. It was silly, she knew, to want this experience more than others, but it freed her to think of maneuvering something up so high in the air.
Caleb moved closer and squinted his eyes. “You really want to do this, don’t you?” He seemed amused, yet serious about it at the same time.
Am I being obvious?
Monique rested her chin in her palm. Only her eyes moved as she scanned the room, always leery of her surroundings. She was completely uninterested in their conversation, bored with it, even. The young woman didn’t hold back her feelings and could be outright rude, but Emma understood, as Caleb did, that she’d been through a lot.
“Do you really have a kite?” Emma asked.
“Yes, I do. Also a volleyball net, Frisbees, and a soccer ball.” He lifted his brows. “Watch this.” He jogged up to the stage and waved his hands, a gesture to which the teens seemed to respond.
“Listen up. We’re going across the street to the park. Anyone who wants to join us is welcome.” He directed his attention to the visiting group and jogged back to Emma.
She couldn’t help but smile as he ran to her taking her to a large closet down the hall, where he dug around until he found the equipment he needed.
“We’ll grab this, just in case.” He pulled out the air pump and held a Frisbee in the other hand.
Some of the young men grabbed the rest and headed for the park.
She watched them cross the busy street and then scatter around the park. Some sat and talked by the tall fountain with statues of famous historical figures surrounding it. Others set up the volleyball net or played a game they called Frisbee golf. The weather couldn’t be more perfect, with a slight breeze and white, fluffy clouds overhead.
An alarm went off in Emma’s head when she didn’t see Monique. She turned around and went back into the church. When she passed through the lobby and to the eating area, she went to find Alex.
“Haven’t seen her since you left.” He stopped cleaning and looked around the room and back to Emma. “That’s not a good sign.”
“What do you mean?” Emma’s stomach began to roll, feeling something was off.
“She always goes back, Emma. It’s just a matter of when.” He handled a towel nervously and shook his head.
She took in a breath, frustrated with him for giving up so quickly. She didn’t care what the history was. “Maybe this time it will be different.”
“I used to pray for that, Emma. Now I pray for safety.”
“So you give up, just like that? You don’t try to keep her away?” Her face twitched with frustration, partly at Alex but more with Monique. She’d heard of women in her own community who were abused, but the bishop didn’t let it continue. They tried to work through the church to remedy the problem, not look the other way.
She turned and walked away before he could respond. Emma glanced back as she climbed the stairs. He was still watching her as he continued to wipe down the bench seats. He was obviously concerned, which fed Emma’s concern.
When she made her way up to the room, Emma was relieved to see Monique on the bed. One foot on the floor, tapping the wood beneath her high-top tennis shoes. She didn’t acknowledge Emma and kept her eyes fixed on the dingy, popcorn-textured ceiling.
“Are you going to the park?”
Monique scoffed. “No, I don’t play Frisbee. You Amish are so easy.” Her moods were as unpredictable as Mark’s, but at least it was something Emma was used to and had learned to live around.
“Jah, I suppose we are…but it might be good to get out for a while.” Monique was probably right, but Emma took no personal offense to it. She would rather be easily entertained than in the fast pace Monique was in. Deep down she wondered whether Monique felt the same but was so caught up in the only life she’d ever known that she defended it.
Monique sat up abruptly, her eyes narrowed. “Go play with your new friends.” With that she stood and left the room. Where the sudden bitterness came from, Emma didn’t know. Maybe something was said that triggered negative feelings, or maybe she just didn’t feel like socializing.
Now that Mark was being somewhat reasonable, Emma was put in a familiar position with Monique. At least it wasn’t both of them at once. Emma mustered up some strength and went to find Caleb.
When she got to the top of the stairs, she noticed the place was almost empty. All that remained was the staff and a few lingering teens and the group who wanted to go home that Caleb would be taking to the bus station soon. She found Caleb sitting in an old, tattered beanbag chair, and plopped down in an avocado-green one.
“Comfortable?” He grinned as he watched her squirm around, trying to adjust to the strange chair.
“Nee, not really.” She let out a sigh and looked upstairs for any sign of Monique. “She’s not going to the park.”
“So you’re not, either.” He said instead of asked.
“Nee, I would worry.”
“You’re not her mother, Emma. It’s good of you to care for her and be there for her, but you have to let it go. She’s going to do whatever it is she’s going to do. And all you can do is be there for her again when she falls.”
“That’s negative—for you to be so sure that she’ll fail.”
“I hope I’m wrong. But I doubt it. This is all she knows. The only way to change that would be to modify her environment and keep her away from the bad things she’s been involved in.”
“I can’t think about it that way. I have to have hope she’ll change her ways.”
“I hope so too. But she has to want to change.” He reached for her hand, and she responded without hesitation, almost expecting the common gesture. She had grown accustomed to him clutching her since she’d come here. He’d done it since they were children—instinct, she supposed.
“Everything is so much better with you here, Emma.” He looked up as if to see in her eyes whether she was comfortable with his words.
She slowly turned her head, trying to think of the right response. The one that immediately came to mind was how she felt when he was at the farm with her.
“I feel the same when you’re home.” They seemed to both want to be together, but in their own worlds. Being with him now was good only because she was with him, but if she wanted him in her life, she would have to compromise, and living in the city wasn’t something she could do.
His bright eyes dimmed at the words. His struggle was the same as hers, and neither could give up where they felt they belonged. She closed her eyes in silent prayer, asking for strength and wisdom. Gott had brought her there for a reason, but now so many reasons competed that she wasn’t sure which was the most significant.
“I get confused as to what I’m supposed to do since I’ve come here.”
Caleb looked to the floor. Disappointment or just plain sadness seemed to penetrate him.
“Maybe you’re trying too hard. Maybe you just need to be and not worry about the rest.”
She didn’t totally understand what he was saying, but it was enough to let her know she should slow down and take it as it came. At a place like this, that was about all you could do.
She noticed his eyes shift and look behind her. Monique swung a bag over her shoulder and moved quickly down the stairs. As she got closer, Emma waited for her to stop, but she didn’t. Emma saw her eyes, heavy and bloodshot, and knew something was on her mind.
The front door opened, causing Emma and Caleb to look that way, away from Monique. Wherever Abe was, his followers were too, harassing anyone who was vulnerable.
Abe stood with his back against the glass door watching Emma’s reaction as Monique went past him and down the stairs. A toothpick stuck to his lip as he smiled. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and leaned back to hold the door open. His eyes followed Monique until she was out of sight, and then looked at Emma.
“You’re done babysitting. She’s mine now.”
At that moment, some in the group came back from the park, talking about Abe as they went up the stairs to the church. As they passed Abe, he grinned and watched each of them stroll by.
The Amish frowned and tried their best to ignore him. The city kids showed more anger toward him, but neither had an impact. Abe had apparently accomplished what he’d set out to do—discourage the Amish, anger the group of city kids, but most of all, to capture the pawn. In either place she went, Monique was a hostage.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Caleb gave the Mennonite driver some cash to pay for taking a group of Amish girls to the bus station. As he walked up to the church, he knew there would have been another load of guys, as well, but they were too prideful to admit they wanted to go home. He could see it in their eyes and lack of enthusiasm that a few weeks in the city were more than enough. He listened in on a conversation as he took a seat in the kitchen, waiting for Emma.
“It’s boring in the city. There’s not enough to do.” A blond-haired kid who still wore a bowl haircut looked unhappy.
An older girl tucked her palm under her chin, not used to idle hands. “Jah, and they live in small areas, right next to each other, but are isolated from one another.”
A tall lanky Amish boy nodded. “It’s strange, the men and women work together, doing the same things. And when they go on that subway, they all run together, but no one leads.
“They stare straight ahead and don’t talk.” Another young man paused. “I feel sorry for them.”
Caleb felt sorry for them sitting around and complaining instead of practicing what they were preaching. But after the situation with Abe, some of them had been scared straight. Although Abe was forbidden to come back to the church, it didn’t stop him.
Caleb opened the paper like he did every morning to read the obituaries. Occasionally there was a name he recognized or a call from the morgue when one of the homeless had passed away. He would notify any friends or families if he knew of them, and offer the church if a family member didn’t have a place to hold the funeral. It was just part of what he did. He couldn’t get to know these people without feeling responsible for them.
“Our group is dwindling.” Emma scanned the room as she sat next to him. The smell of her hair, the way she talked, and her presence alone stirred something inside of him that no other person could. He made a point not to stare, sniff, or hang on her every word, but at times it was impossible.
“Most of the girls are gone. There’s still a dozen or so boys. They’re the ones who will usually stick it out.” He folded the paper and poured more coffee into her mug.
“Unless Abe keeps coming around.” Emma looked down at her cup and then took a sip. “Some of the Amish didn’t know who he was or the others he was with. They tried to evangelize to them.”
Caleb’s brows furrowed, and he gave her his full attention. “Do you know what came of it?”
“Nee—nothing good, anyway. Those young men scared them, taunting them, flirting with the girls, and picking fights with the boys.” Emma shook her head. “What’s the point of all this? It only makes the Amish look weak and stupid when all they’re trying to do is talk to people about their faith.”
“They’re not as well-equipped to evangelize as they should be with a crowd like there is here. But then we talked about that, remember?” Caleb searched her face, knowing she was discouraged. “It’s going to come naturally or not at all. People here are skeptical, so don’t expect it to be easy.”
“Everything is so negative. Why do we just give up when we have Gott’s work to do?” Tears built up, but she blinked them away.
He reached for her, but she pulled back, angry. He knew it wasn’t directed at him. It had been a long few weeks, unexpected for her once she’d gotten involved with Monique. Mark seemed to be doing better, so that was one positive. He and Adrian spent time together when they could. For the most part, though, she was right—a lot had happened that was difficult, if not impossible, to solve without the help of community.
“I’m sorry, Caleb. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have come here at all and met Monique.”
“Sometimes I regret getting you two together. It’s been harder than ever since you got involved. It’s almost like Abe’s competing with you for her.”
Emma took her time to respond. “He knows we’ve become friends. He’s threatened by it.”
He was surprised at her confident reply, and he could see how it could be true. Abe had let up on Monique until Emma started a relationship with her. How would Emma take that information? He didn’t want to make her feel responsible for Abe coming in strong again once she got here. “He’s a possessive man. Maybe if we let go a little, he’d lose interest.”
“And let Monique fend for herself?” Emma shook her head.
He’d figured she would balk at the suggestion but wanted to throw it out there. He just didn’t see how they could do anything to help Monique at this point.
Mark distracted them from their conversation. He was dressed more like Adrian than Amish, in jeans and a T-shirt, but his work boots gave him away.
“New clothes?
“Adrian let me borrow some while I’m here.” Mark looked over at Emma. “I knew you wouldn’t like it.”
“I like the boots.” She smiled. “Are you going somewhere?”
Mark remained unsmiling. “I’m meeting up with him.” He held up a hand when Emma sucked in air. “I’ll be back before dinner. Can he eat with us?” Mark turned his eyes on Caleb.
“Sure, it would be nice to see him again. Be here by six to help set up?” Caleb gave him a chore so he’d be back well before dark and Emma wouldn’t worry so much.
“Sure. Later.” He turned and walked away with a bit of swagger.
“What kind of word is that?”
Caleb grinned. “It’s just a condensed way of saying, ‘see you later.’”
“There’s nothing funny about any of this.” Emma stood and rushed after Mark. Caleb was caught off guard and decided to stay put. Emma was too emotional to reason with. She’d probably had her fill of Philly, something he was avoiding dealing with. This wasn’t the place for her. She would need to go home soon, and he would be here without her. Nothing would be the same once she left.
He decided to find her and tell her she should go whether Mark left or not, because he didn’t want to see her miserable. But when he went through the front doors there was no sign of her or Mark. He knew she wouldn’t have gone with him, but he scanned the area and neither of them were anywhere in sight.
Caleb took the steps two at a time and went from one end of the block to the other and then made his way to the park. He’d barely hit the grass when he ran across a group of Amish guys walking over to him. They were unusually quiet, and not one cracked a smile as they approached.
“What’s going on?” He waited for an answer, but they all looked at each other, not wanting to be the one to tell.
“We’re in a bad spot.” One blue-eyed young man spoke up, but he glanced at his friends as he said it, not at Caleb. Their approval obviously took priority over his.
“Spill it, guys. Whatever it is isn’t important, so don’t waste time.”
A few seconds went by, and finally one of them spoke up. “Adrian’s gonna show Mark where Monique is.”
He couldn’t meet Caleb’s eyes, but that didn’t matter to him. He was just glad they told him. He was also scared. Anywhere Monique was, Abe would be, and that meant danger.
He clasped the boy on the shoulder. “Danke.” Speaking in the boy’s own tongue made him smile, and Caleb had to admit it felt good for him too.
“Can we help?”
“Tell Alex and Emma I’ve gone to find them.” He didn’t know the street, but he knew the area, and everybody knew everyone else’s business in those neighborhoods where people lived in small row houses.
But he wasn’t thrilled going alone. He wasn’t too proud to admit it, either. It wasn’t a good part of town.
“Emma went with Mark.”
Caleb’s chest contracted. The air in his lungs stuck. Nothing moved for a long, drawn-out minute.
“You!” He pointed to the dark-haired kid who’d said the horrifying words. “Which way did they go?”
He pointed in the direction Caleb had planned to go but was the last place he’d want to be. There would be no mercy once they set foot in the area he figured them to be in. A hand slapped his back, and he turned to see Alex. He didn’t dare be so bold as to ask him to go with him but having a black man with him would help. And it was Alex’s old stomping ground.
“Let me take you home.” Alex’s voice was strong, not intimidated.
“No, I’m doing this.”
“I mean my crib, where I come from.”
Caleb nodded sheepishly. Although he knew Alex’s history, he knew him in a very different way.
“You do what I do, how I do it,” Alex ordered in all seriousness. His concern made Caleb worry more. “You boys go to the church and stay there.”
None of them balked at his directions.
“Let’s do this.” Alex made his way through speeding cars, angry taxi drivers, and crowds of grumpy people getting off work.
Caleb panicked a little, realizing the early shift was over and after the next group was off work, it would start to get dark.
“Keep up.” Alex was as serious as Caleb had ever seen him, and his pace was faster than Caleb could keep up with.
The subway stifled Caleb, who wanted to move his own two feet. The train stopped twice before they finally got off.
When they got to the top of the stairs, Caleb felt the oppression immediately. He sensed a heavy weight was pushing on his chest. Negative thoughts circled around in his mind.
Why did you let Emma come here? You can’t help Monique, stop trying. Just try to find her here.
“Which one?” he said to himself.
“What are you mumbling about?” Alex stared at him, trying to tell him something. “Move your feet, man.”
