Rumspringa's Hope, page 10
Mark turned his head to the side and glanced at the guy behind him. His hair touched his collar, and he wore jeans. He was either with a less conservative group or already taking advantage of rumspringa. He scoffed when she told Mark no, and Emma was regretting how she’d responded to Mark.
Mark shook his head. “You’re my sister, not my mamm.”
Before he could say more, she lifted a hand. “Can you excuse us?” she asked the young man behind him.
He shrugged and started to walk down the aisle of the bus. “Catch ya next time, Miller.”
Mark’s lips twisted as he watched him go. Then he bent over so only she could hear him. “You’re not going to ruin this trip for me, Emma.” He turned around so fast, she didn’t have a chance to explain to him why she wanted him with her. She didn’t know those boys, and he probably didn’t either. Unless he could say differently, it made no sense for him to drive off with strangers. His harsh words embarrassed and angered her. At the moment she hated everything about her decision to leave.
Caleb finally finished getting everyone aboard and sat down next to her. “Does Mark want to sit with you?” He seemed to have a new liveliness about him. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but something was different.
“Nee, he’s not happy I’m here.”
Caleb looked over to where Mark sat between two other guys. “Let it go. He’ll need you sooner or later, even if it’s only for a couple bucks or to take care of him.”
“I don’t think he wants me here, let alone to take care of him.” She grunted.
“You might be surprised. Leaving everything a person’s ever known changes them.” He grinned, trying to lighten her up, but nothing would help right now. Not unless she could get off the bus. “Are you okay?”
“Nee, I don’t want to leave.” She kept her eyes on the driver and looked out the window as they rolled out of the station.
“Does it make you nervous to be on a bus?” Caleb put a hand on hers, and she let her head drop back onto the headrest. It was a familiar feeling for his hand to touch hers, and she needed the comfort.
“Jah, everything about this makes me nervous.” She didn’t look at him and kept her eyes on the open spaces that were few and far between. “It’s closed in, makes me feel claustrophobic.”
Caleb dropped his chin so he would be eye-level with her. “You’re thinking too much. Think of it as a vacation. You sit back and enjoy the ride, and before you know it, we’ll be there.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle. “A vacation?” It was an odd way to put it to an Amish person.
“Okay, maybe not a vacation…an adventure.”
“Adventures aren’t always good, though.”
“Well, now you’re just being negative.” He grinned, and she nodded.
“What will we do once we’re there?” She knew Caleb ministered to the disadvantaged, but she didn’t know exactly what that meant. There had to be a lot of needs in a city this big.
“Whatever needs to be done. The Stock Pot at the church always needs some helping hands, so you can pass out food.” He studied her intently, waiting for her answer. His eyes flickered back and forth as if to pick up the pace in her answering.
“To the homeless?” She’d never seen a homeless person, let alone talked to one or given them a meal. She wondered how a person became homeless. That would never happen in her community.
“Some are homeless, and others just need a little help for a while. Is that something you’d feel comfortable doing?” He seemed worried about her. She knew he had better things to deal with than her insecurities, so she made an effort to think positively. When she looked over at him, a thought popped into her head. They were a lot alike—always had been. So if he enjoyed what he did in Philly, there was a chance she would too.
“As long as you’re there to show me the ropes.” Her request was twofold. She did want his direction, but also his protection. As different as she was, she would be an easy target for a city person to take advantage of. As she looked around the group on the bus, there was a mix of expressions, conversations, and conduct. Some were oblivious, taking it all in as it came. Others’ wide eyes and pinched faces were more like how Emma felt, and then there were those like her brother, ready for an adventure and excitement.
“I won’t leave you alone. I’ve promised not to, and I keep my word.”
“Keep your word to whom?”
He looked away and then out the window, ignoring her. “See there, milk cows. Do you feel better?” His eyes met hers, and they connected for a moment.
“Can I take them to Philly with me?” She grinned. As silly as it seemed, she did feel better seeing a farm.
With him at her side the time went quickly. Emma knew he was making an extra effort to keep her distracted, and it worked. They were close to the city in what seemed to be no time at all.
Caleb looked out the window as he spoke. “The city and country split so quickly, you could be in one and then the other simply by going through a stoplight.”
Sure enough, tall buildings started popping up, and then a long bridge that took them to skyscrapers. There were all modes of transportation with the trains, waterways, mass transit, and many cars, all going exceedingly fast. Emma looked through the back window, but all she could see was concrete and steel.
“Having second thoughts?” Caleb didn’t look at her when he asked, just waited for her answer even though he already knew what it would be.
Emma knew the answer too, but another thought made her stop and discern what kept tugging at her. “Jah, but also nee. There is another reason for being here.”
Caleb gazed at her. “I’m sure of that.”
She opened her eyes wide. “You are?”
“There’s no doubt.” He said it with such confidence, Emma started believing what she was thinking.
“I can’t truly believe it, but there is something nagging at me.” She turned her attention to a large church with spires and golden caps. “Is that the church where we’re staying?”
Caleb chuckled. “It’s that one.” He pointed to a much smaller building that looked nothing like a church. The dilapidated roof and tattered front door made the building look more like a homeless shelter than a church. There were a handful of people sitting or lying on the steps. Most had a bag or pillowcase that held their belongings, probably all they had.
Caleb stood to address the group. “This is where we’ll be staying, at the Old Mennonite Church.” The sound of seats squeaking and low murmurs were heard as they looked out the bus windows. He let them digest their new, temporary home.
For the first time Emma wished for a nicer place to stay. Her five-bedroom home on a hundred acres seemed like a palace. She hadn’t thought she’d ever feel this way and felt selfish for the thoughts. Emma hoped Caleb had some better news than this, but she prepared herself for whatever came.
“For those of you who have heard this speech, plug your ears.” Nervous laughter fluttered throughout the bus. “I’m not here to babysit you. But it would be to your benefit if you’d tell us where you’re going and be back here by curfew, which is midnight. If you’re here to do mission work, there are a lot of opportunities. If you’re here to party, I can’t help you. That’s not what I do here. Grab your bags and get settled in.” He led the way off the bus, with Emma close behind.
She blinked, digesting the set of loosely made rules and options, and then decided she liked the way he worked. Forcing them to do anything was futile. They were here to spread their wings. She just hoped they didn’t fly too far.
She slowly turned around in a circle, observing the cars rushing by, pedestrians gambling to walk across busy streets, and every type of person she had ever imagined—every age, color, height, and fashion style.
Caleb came up next to her. “Amazing place, isn’t it?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and watched the hustle and bustle of the city. Lights, noise, and smells lifted and were carried away, and then started again.
“Jah, I guess you could say that.” She wasn’t sure what word would describe this crazy place. It scared her, and yet electrified her at the same time. “I’m not sure what to do with this strange mixture of emotions. I’m used to everything being predictable.” She blew out a breath and looked for Mark. The unpredictability he created was nothing compared to this. And she worried this would only increase his curiosity, unlike many who wouldn’t feel comfortable indulging in all the city had to offer.
“You’ll fit in here.” Caleb looked down at her and grinned. “Let’s go inside.”
She doubted that was true. She’d never felt more like a fish out of water. He was just comforting her. She needed it either way, so she let him take her bag along with his and then lead her into the church.
The inside was in better shape than the outside, but it still left her wanting for home. Long cracks in the deep-yellow, stucco-covered walls made it appear as if the building might split in two. A kitchen and long tables were to her right, and a sanctuary was on the left. A stream of Amish young people walked up the stairs to find their rooms.
“Are you okay?” Caleb’s voice brought her back to a place she didn’t want to be—even more than before she knew about the living arrangements. She shook off the attitude, shaming herself for expecting more, and went into a bedroom with two beds. There were no sheets or blankets, only a sleeping bag, but that would have to do.
“Is this going to work for you?” Caleb gave her a sideways glance.
“This is fine, Caleb.”
“Okay, there’s one other thing.” He almost cringed but stopped himself.
“Ach, what’s that?”
He paused and then looked her in the eyes. “Your roommate.”
Chapter Seventeen
Caleb heard the clinking of chains grow louder as Monique walked to her room. When she came in, he immediately noticed she’d added a strand of gold links to her belt, and her long, dark hair with spiked up bangs couldn’t conceal her beauty. She was tall and lean, with the look of a runway model. It was both a blessing and a curse. Caleb had hoped she’d tone her look down a bit with the arrival of the Amish. But he couldn’t control her.
As Monique came in, he heard Emma suck in a breath. There were tattoos on both of Monique’s arms, gifts from her boyfriend. Caleb had tried to keep him away, but it was impossible.
Caleb was distracted by Emma’s presence, but he’d have to snap out of it. This was going to be a bigger adjustment than many of them could fathom.
“Monique, this is Emma.” He glanced at Emma long enough to make eye contact, and then turned away. “Emma, this is your roommate, Monique.” He purposely kept quiet to see how they interacted. Monique hadn’t bonded with anyone since coming to the Old Mennonite Church. Emma was his last shot. If she couldn’t draw Monique out, no one could. Monique walked past Emma, dropped a battered backpack on the floor, and sent a fleeting glance toward Emma.
“What’s wrong, haven’t seen tattoos before?” She lifted her eyebrows and stuck out her chin.
“Jah, I have.” It wasn’t something Emma hadn’t seen before when they went into town. Emma turned away, opened her bag, and placed some Amish clothes on one of the shelves standing at the end of her bed. Just as Caleb was about to speak, Emma spoke. “How long have you been here, Monique?”
“Not as long as some and longer than others.”
Monique’s quick tongue had gotten her into more scrapes than Caleb wanted to remember. As much trouble as she was, he had to believe she’d get things straightened out. She’d been around the block a couple of times, but Caleb hoped Emma could handle her. She’d dealt with Mark, which was a lower scale, but the attitude was the same.
“I’ll take that as awhile then.” Emma put her things away quickly, and pulled off the sleeping bag covering the bed. “Is there somewhere to wash this?”
“Down the hall. There are a couple of industrial-sized washers and a dryer.”
“Do you want me to wash yours?” Emma pointed to Monique’s sleeping bag, which was wadded up on the twin-size bed.
Monique stared her down. “Don’t be acting like Jesus sent you here Himself.” She raised a fist to her hip and stuck out one foot. “Just ’cause you wear that dress and hat don’t mean you’re better than me.”
“Jah, but I know Jesus sent me to this place and you.” Emma turned away and scanned the room.
Caleb kept from shaking his head. He’d likely be sending groups back home within a few days after the initial curiosity was over and they’d seen enough to appreciate home. He’d be left with the hardcore bunch who liked the excitement they found. That’s when his real work would begin. He wondered if Emma would be among the first group to return home.
The entire church had the same puke color of yellow on the walls. There was only one overhead fluorescent light. Caleb was grateful that both bulbs worked in their room.
Emma sighed and then shrugged the sleeping bag over her shoulder and looked at Caleb. “Which way?”
Monique frowned, looking confused.
The two young women stared at one another for a moment, and then Emma looked again to Caleb. “Which way?”
He pointed to the right, down the hall. He’d been so fascinated by their exchange, he hadn’t said a word. It didn’t seem necessary. “Do either of you need anything before I go help with the meal?”
“Nee I don’t, danke, Caleb.”
Monique sneered. “Don’t be doing that Amish talk around me. Speak English.”
Her sentences were shorter the bolder she got, to the point Caleb had to stop and figure out what she said at times.
“Monique, once you get to know Emma, you’ll understand what she’s saying.”
Monique was one of the most untrusting people he’d met, but in knowing her history, he understood why.
“We’ll see.” She kicked the dark-green sleeping bag toward Emma.
Emma picked up the bag and walked out. Caleb was right behind her, grabbing Monique’s sleeping bag from Emma and studying her face. “If you want a different roommate, I can figure something out.”
“Nee, it’s gut.” Emma didn’t look at him, so he couldn’t tell whether she was sincere, upset, or angry.
“She can be difficult, but once she lets her guard down, she has a big heart. It’s been bruised so many times, she goes on the defensive until she knows she can trust you. She’ll come around.” He paused, hoping she’d be as hopeful, but how could he expect that from Emma already? He wasn’t being fair and knew it, but couldn’t stop trying.
“I asked Gott to put me in the right place, with those He wanted me to be with. If this is His will, then I’ll be obedient and stay with her.”
Her face was expressionless, which wasn’t a good sign. She was trying to take it in stride, but he knew better.
Caleb let out a long breath. “Listen, it wasn’t fair of me to expect so much of you. You don’t want to be here in the first place, and then I dump Monique on you. That’s not right. I’m sorry. I just…” He stuck his hands in his pockets, trying to decide how much to say. He couldn’t tell her how he really felt about her. That would just make things more awkward. But he knew her heart, and helping others was one of her gifts.
She placed her hand on his arm. “Caleb, I’m fine. So far, anyway.” She half smiled. “Remember, I came here with no expectations.”
She seemed to have her mind set, so Caleb let the guilt roll off of him. He shouldn’t have assumed as much as he did, but he had a lot of faith in Emma, and he couldn’t help but try and use her for the good of the people there. “I see a lot of potential in Monique. I don’t want her slip through the cracks like so many have since I’ve been here.”
“I understand.” She squeezed his hand, and then gave her attention to the laundry room. He watched her scan the area as they went in. Holes were punched in the walls, with drywall falling out. The once black-and-white tile was a dingy brown, and random clothes were scattered throughout the room.
“Here, let me show you how to use this.” He stuffed the sleeping bag in the washer, put in the soap, and turned the dial on. “It’ll be done in thirty minutes.”
“That’s wonderful gut.” She watched the bag shifting around through the circle window. “It’s very large.”
“Yeah, a little different than doing laundry with the hand-cranked washer back home.” Caleb wondered how Emma was doing, so far. It was a lot to take in, especially for a young Amish woman who was content on a farm.
He wished Monique would give a little and let Emma rub off on her. She needed to get out of North Philly before she could get her life together, but she kept going back. He didn’t understand it, but it seemed to be common amongst those in poverty. No place was home for them. “Are you hungry?”
Emma frowned. It had been several hours since they’d arrived and she’d barely noticed the time. “I haven’t even thought about food. But jah, I am.”
“They’ll be serving dinner in the kitchen in a few minutes. Do you want to go downstairs and help?”
“Jah, should we ask Monique?” Emma kept walking to her room instead of taking the stairs to the kitchen. Caleb was tickled she’d asked. If things didn’t work out between them, it wouldn’t be because Emma didn’t try.
“That’s a great idea.” He stood at the top of the stairs, not wanting to interfere, and watched Emma stop at the door and talk to Monique. He had no idea whether she’d come. The deciding factor would probably be if her belly was empty.
Emma turned away and walked back to him. “Ready?”
Caleb pushed off the dull yellow wall and started for the dingy tile stairs. “She’s not coming, I take it.”
“She said she’ll come down when she is ready.” She rubbed his arm. “You are very concerned about this girl, Jah?”
“I’ve seen her go through some tough stuff. But she’s strong. She just needs to believe in herself and get away from the people she hangs out with.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I get carried away. Not just with her. Any of the clients who stay long enough to get to know them and what they’ve been through.
