Why We Forget and How to Remember Better, page 27
The content of Part 5 comes from many sources. In addition to those we have listed in the earlier chapters of this book, we also incorporated information from Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning, by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III, and Mark A. McDaniel,1 Ageless Memory: The Memory Expert’s Prescription for a Razor-Sharp Mind, by Harry Lorayne,2 and Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything, by Joshua Foer,3 in addition to Andrew’s earlier book with Maureen K. O’Connor, Seven Steps to Managing Your Memory: What’s Normal, What’s Not, and What to Do About It.4
Use Memory Aids
Whether you are young or old, in school or working, or think you have a good or bad memory, you can use external memory aids—physical devices, software programs, or phone apps—to help you remember information. Why memorize your shopping list when you can write it down? Why keep appointments in your head when you can keep them in a calendar or your phone? This advice of course assumes that you will have the memory aid with you at the relevant times; if there’s a good chance you won’t (perhaps you’ll need to use a password when not by your computer that contains your password manager), then you’ll want to supplement your use of memory aids with the strategies we discuss in later chapters.
Some people worry that their memory will wither away if they use memory aids to improve their memory. We would argue that there are enough things in life that you really do need to memorize, such that if an external memory aid can help, you should take advantage of it. Or, if you’re determined to work at memorizing all information (and good for you), you can always memorize that list and use an external memory aid—just to double-check you remembered everything correctly.
Five General Principles
There are five general principles that will help you use memory aids most effectively.
1. Be organized. Use a system so that you know which aid you will use to remember which piece of information.
2. Be ready. Whether you use a pencil-and-paper notebook or your phone, be ready to use your external memory aid whenever needed.
3. Don’t delay. Enter appointments immediately in your paper, phone, or computer calendar. When a reminder pops up to alert you, take care of it right away.
4. Keep it simple. Use the simplest memory aid that can accomplish the task. Don’t use a complicated system of reminder notes when a daily planner will do. There’s no need to purchase a deluxe phone app if a simple app will get the job done.
5. Develop routines. The first few times that you use new memory aids it may take a bit of extra thought or effort. But once you get into the routine, they will become part of your procedural memory and easy to use even if you are feeling distracted, rushed, or tired.
Special Places
Benjamin Franklin liked to say, “A place for everything and everything in its place.” This is good advice. We’ve used the example in this book of why you might forget where you put your keys and how you can better remember where you put them. But the best solution is to always put them in the same place every day—that way you never need to look for them. Do the same for your wallet, phone, rings, glasses, and everything else you use daily.
What to do if you don’t have a special place for these items? It’s the perfect time to create one. Some potential good places are:
• On a table, tray, or bowl near the door where you enter your home, or perhaps on your kitchen table.
• In a small basket that uses suction or magnets to stick to your refrigerator.
• In a tray or bowl on your bedroom dresser or bedside table.
• On top of or in a drawer of your home office desk.
• In your briefcase, purse, or commuter bag.
Which place is best for you will depend, in part, on where you tend to use these items. For example, you might keep your glasses and headphones in your briefcase or purse, and your keys, wallet, and rings in the bedroom. Other factors to consider include how likely it is that your home might be broken into—if it is likely, you’ll want to keep expensive items out of sight (perhaps in a drawer) rather than in the open by the door.
Calendars and Planners
Most people use a calendar or daily planner, but not everyone takes full advantage of them. Some people prefer physical, paper planners, although most people today use phone- or web-based calendars. Whichever type you use, make sure that you include the five “W”s in each appointment: who, what times 2, when, and where.
• Who is the appointment with?
• What is the appointment for?
• What should you bring with you or have prepared for the meeting?
• When is the appointment?
• Where is the appointment located?
Make sure you include the physical or web-based virtual meeting room address. We suggest you also include a backup phone number and/or email address just in case you run into trouble finding the physical or virtual location.
We recommend that you keep your calendar with you so that you can always add appointments as they arise. Whatever type of calendar you use, it’s good to periodically create a backup copy just in case it gets lost. Most electronic calendars have built-in backups, and you might want to make copies (perhaps take pictures with your phone) of paper calendars.
To-Do Lists
To-do lists can vary from a simple, single list on paper to web- and app-based four-quadrant project-management systems. We recommend matching the complexity of the list to the task.
Simple Lists
If you’re going to the supermarket there is nothing wrong with a pen-and-paper list that you can have handy when you’re going up and down the aisles. These types of simple lists also work great for other shopping lists, errands, holiday lists, and more.
The Four-Quadrant System
Dwight D. Eisenhower noted, “I have two kinds of problems, the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.”5 Based on recognizing this critical difference between importance and urgency, we recommend you use what is often called the four-quadrant time-management system or the Eisenhower method when making lists for work, school, or other projects.
Important/Urgent
Crises you should attend to first Important/Not Urgent
Long-range projects you need to remember
Not Important/Urgent
Interruptions, but things you may need to do Not Important/Not Urgent
Timewasters you should likely avoid altogether
This method has the benefit of allowing you to remember what is important, even if it isn’t urgent. It also allows you to see what you should do first, and what you should not bother doing. We recommend that you use a separate paper-, app-, or web-based grid like this for each area of your life (work, school, personal), school subject (history, mathematics, science), or large work project (different ventures or clients, etc.).
Reminders
Whether paper sticky notes or electronic pop-ups and alarms, everyone can benefit from reminders of medications, meetings, appointments, projects, and deadlines. App- and web-based systems usually have built-in reminders—don’t forget that you can customize them if you wish, so that you’re reminded of a meeting 5 minutes ahead of time instead of 15 if that’s what you prefer. If you use sticky notes, make sure that you put them somewhere that you’ll see them (such as the bathroom mirror or front door) and take them down once you’ve used them.
Pillboxes
Medications are important, and serious consequences can result if they are missed or taken twice. Why rely on your memory to determine if you’ve taken your medication when a pillbox can do it for you? Even with just one or two medications to take, many people have a brief lapse of attention or a false memory (see Chapter 12) and end up missing their medication or taking it twice by accident. Don’t let that happen to you.
There are many different pillbox styles available. The basic pillbox has one compartment for each day of the week, and comes in 1-week, 2-week, and 4-week options. There are also two-compartment boxes for morning and evening medications, and three-compartment options for morning, afternoon, and evening medications. If you have afternoon medications, you might also want a pocket-size pillbox that you can take with you when you’re out and about.
Some pillboxes have built-in reminder alarms, display screens, and even communication devices that alert family members if medications are being forgotten. Lastly, many pharmacies will prepare your medications in daily, plastic “blister packs” for you either free or for a small charge. Talk to your doctor if you’re not sure what the right pillbox is for you.
Memory Aids Can Help
Our recommendation is to always consider using a memory aid to remember information if it is important and/or easy to do so.
• Five general principles to use memory aids effectively: Be organized. Be ready. Don’t delay. Keep it simple. Develop routines.
• A place for everything and everything in its place.
• Include the 5 W’s in your calendar or planner: Who, What is it for, What do you need, When, and Where.
• Use simple lists for simple tasks.
• Use the four-quadrant system for projects: important/urgent, important/not urgent, not important/urgent, not important/not urgent.
• Use reminders.
• Use a pillbox.
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Basic strategies
You read the textbook chapter and highlighted the key points. Then you re-read the chapter several times. It felt easier each time you read through it such that, by the last read, you were completely confident that you mastered the content. Yet—to your dismay—now you find yourself struggling on the test! You know you read the relevant material, but you just can’t remember it.
Would you like to learn the best ways to study—and avoid the studying techniques that give you the illusion of mastery without the knowledge? Do you need to remember your shopping list, appointments for the day, mathematical formulas, anatomical terms, or your company’s strategic plan? In this chapter we’ll review how to learn whatever content you’re trying to remember so that you can breeze through the supermarket, ace your math test, treat your patients correctly, get that promotion, and more.
Strategies When Acquiring Memories
Be Motivated
Your ability to remember begins with your desire to remember. If someone is talking and you are not interested in listening to them, you are unlikely to remember what they are saying—whether they are a colleague introducing themselves or a professor at the podium. So, if you want to remember what someone is saying later, it is important to keep in mind the goals that motivate you to remember what they are saying. This colleague could be a wonderful collaborator on a future project—and you don’t want to embarrass yourself and forget their name at the next meeting. And, yes, what the professor is saying may be important not only so you can pass the test but for your later career as well. This principle of motivation is key to all forms of intentional memory. For example, if you want to be able to find your car after the concert, you should be motivated to pay attention to where it is as you are walking away from it in the parking lot.
Align Your In-the-Moment Goals with Your Memory Goals
How many times have you wished you paid more attention at the time when you are later trying to remember information—such as your temporary locker combination or where you left your keys? Being motivated “in theory” isn’t enough; if you later want to be able to get into your locker or locate your keys, you have to align your in-the-moment goal when the memory is being formed with your later goal of remembering. So, before you walk away from your locker, take a minute to store the locker number and its combination in your memory. Similarly, focus on where you are putting your keys as they are leaving your hand. The techniques described later in this chapter and the next two will help you to form and store these memories.
By adjusting your goals, you can also change what you remember from an event. For example, if you go to a party to have fun and enjoy yourself, you’ll probably remember the games, smiles, and laughs that you were part of. If you go to the same party to network with people who might be able to help you with your career, you’re likely to remember the few individuals who fit that role. And if you’re looking for a new style that will best reflect your distinct personality, you will likely remember many of the clothes, haircuts, mannerisms, and speech patterns that you encountered. In each of these situations you may not have been consciously trying to remember. But you were paying close attention while playing games, speaking with individuals who might help your career, and looking for style elements, leading you to remember those aspects of the party.
Relax! Don’t Be Anxious
Anxiety can be a source of distraction—particularly if it is making you ruminate on past memory failures or other unpleasant thoughts rather than focusing your attention on the present. There are several things that you can do to reduce your anxiety. For example, it may be helpful to try regularly engaging deep breathing or mindfulness meditation (see Chapter 21).
Sometimes reframing your goals can reduce your anxiety. For example, if you believe that you are bad at remembering people’s names, and you’re meeting someone new right now, having a motivating goal of “remembering their name” may only serve to heighten your anxiety. A more targeted, less intimidating goal such as, “I’m going to form a visual image to help me remember their name,” may help you to feel less anxious and remember the name better. Similarly, if you’re anxious that you have five chapters of reading or 25 slides to prepare and memorize, try focusing on just one chapter or one slide—something that doesn’t sound too intimidating. Once you’ve finished one chapter or slide, move on to the next. Usually, once you get started, you’ll find your stress levels are back to normal.
Use Effort to Do FOUR Things
If we only had space to discuss one strategy in this book, using effort would be the one. Nothing will help you to remember information more than using effort. Consciously trying to remember can be a powerful way to bring your efforts into alignment with your goals of retaining information. In fact, if your studying seems too easy, sometimes that means whatever studying technique you are using is not going to be very effective for learning the material. You will succeed when your goals lead you to exert effort toward processing the information.
We recommend that you use effort to do FOUR things: Focus your attention; Organize, cluster, and chunk the information; Understand the material; and Relate the new information to things you already know.
Focus Your Attention
A key part of effort is being present and paying attention to whatever activity, event, or material you’re trying to remember. Work to focus on what you want to remember and try to ignore everything else. It takes effort to focus your attention but, as we just discussed, using effort will help you remember. Sit up straight in your chair. If you find your attention drifting, direct it back to the material, experience, lecture, or meeting you wish to remember. If you were lost in thought when you put down your keys, you are unlikely to recall where you put them; pause in your thoughts and pay attention as you are putting the keys down. If you don’t want to tell the same story to the same person twice, pay close attention to who is with you as you tell the story; focus on their facial expressions and reactions as you tell it. Interested in improving your ability to pay attention? Try practicing mindfulness as we described in Chapter 21.
• Avoid distraction—don’t multitask. Because paying attention is so important for forming memories, we hope it is obvious that you won’t remember information well if you are distracted because your attention is drawn to something else at the same time. The studies show that although many people think they are good at multitasking, they are actually wrong! No one is able to do two things at once anywhere close to as well as they could if they just focused on that one task. So, turn off the television, close down those browser tabs, stop checking your messages, set your phone to “do not disturb”—and then put your phone out of sight. Just having your phone nearby can be a distractor.
• Take breaks. If you find that you are getting mentally fatigued when studying and can no longer focus, take a short break. Go for a walk. Chat with a friend. Grab a snack. Do whatever you need to do to recharge your batteries and get ready for some more studying.
• Consider a cup of coffee (or tea). It is important to be alert and attentive—not sleepy or bored—when you are trying to learn new information. Sometimes a cup of coffee or tea can help you to be more alert and pay attention better. However, as described in detail in Chapter 20, coffee and tea are not substitutes for getting a good night’s sleep.
• Use your senses. One beneficial strategy to help you remember almost any type of experience or information is to use your senses. To remember where you put your keys, listen to the sound they make when you put them in the metal bowl. If you’re trying to remember words on a page, give them new dimensions. Don’t just read about where the car parts are coming from—visualize the various components traveling from different parts of the world, converging in Detroit, and being assembled into an automobile. If you want to remember a day at the beach, smell the sea air. Feel the sand under your toes as you walk down the beach and the wind as it moves the tiny hairs on your forearms. See the colorful plastic pails and shovels full of sand and salt water. Hear your grandchildren’s shrieks and laughs over the sound of the surf as waves try to wash their sandcastles away.
