Evie Interrupted, page 8
“You already told me about Aunt Flow,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not talking about your menstrual cycle.”
I tilted my face to the ceiling. “Oh my God! Do you have to call it that?”
“You start to look at yourself differently. Boys look at you differently. And other girls look at you differently. You see all these perfect images in magazines, on TV, and in the movies. Those women don’t look like that when they get up in the morning.”
I shrugged. “People always say it takes a glam squad, lighting, and Photoshop. Girls get preached at to not compare ourselves to all these beautiful women. Then why take the pictures? If all of that truly doesn’t matter, why are we constantly bombarded with the images?”
Mom gazed over my shoulder like the answer was written on my headboard. After what felt like an hour, she let out a sigh. Looking me directly in the eye, she said, “That’s a good question. I wish I had a good answer. Being a teenager is hard work, my dear. But you can’t always follow your friends. You need to trust the voice inside of you. What have I always told you?”
“If it doesn’t feel right then it’s not right for me.”
“And you have to find the courage to stand alone sometimes.”
This was the moment I realized my mom was human. It felt unnerving. Like my safety net had just been cut up and thrown away. Up to this point she always had clear answers to my questions. Granted, explaining the tooth fairy was a lot easier than explaining how society sexualized women, sending mixed messages at every turn. She wanted me to find the answer to my question. She was preparing me for the next four years of high school and the rest of my life.
“Evie, you are the exact person you’re supposed to be at this moment in time. Do you feel less than because of those images?”
“Not really, but the girls at school talk about what this celeb is wearing and the makeup they’re using, and I feel like I should care. They make fun of Susan Sunderson because she’s overweight.”
“Do you?”
“No. I like Susan. She’s funny.” I dropped my gaze, concentrating on fiddling with my comforter. “But I don’t stop them. Lindsey made Susan cry the other day.”
The feel of Mom’s hand pressed against my cheek caused me to look up. “Trust your voice.”
And I did. The only reason I had those diet pills was because Lindsey was passing them out at school to our small circle of friends. I ignored my gut and went along with everyone. I didn’t even really like Lindsey. We were only friends because we’d been through every grade together. But somewhere along the way, she got snotty and a little mean. I felt a shift in the bed as Mom stood and headed toward the door.
“Mom.” She turned to face me. “I didn’t take any pills and I didn’t plan to.”
The hint of a smile spread across her face. “That’s my girl.”
Present
I caved and put on the dress, and yes, the lacy underwear. To complete the look, Maine did my makeup, giving me a soft, natural look. And she styled my hair with relaxed curls that fell just below my shoulders.
Once in my car the thought crossed my mind again to text Butler and call off the day. I could just ride around for a couple of hours and tell Maine that he was nice, but no real connection happened. Unfortunately, I wasn’t a good liar, and she knew me too well.
I had no plan for the tour. I figured we’d stay downtown where we could walk and talk about the shops, restaurants, and landmarks. Getting in the car to drive around was a no-no. Being in close quarters would only invite personal questions. I was not getting personal with this guy.
Butler was leaning against the brick wall when I pulled up to the café. Damn, he looked amazing in dark jeans and a white T-shirt, with an unbuttoned burgundy and white checkered long-sleeved shirt over it. He appeared comfortable in his clothes and his skin. He was looking down, so he didn’t see me when I first drove up. When his gaze lifted and he saw me, a huge smile spread across his handsome face. Pushing off from the wall, he sauntered over.
I picked up my phone and sent a quick text to Maine.
Me: Everything okay?
Maine: All is super-duper. Relax and take note of every hot detail so you can relay back.
Me: :p
I slipped my phone into the front pocket of my purse, inhaled a cleansing breath, and opened the car door.
“You showed up,” Butler teased as I got out of the car.
“You doubted me? I’m wounded.”
“I was cautiously optimistic. Besides, it looks like rain.”
“We’ll be fine. And I did consider calling it off.” I smiled, covering up the truth that I had, in fact, intended to call this off.
With his hand over his heart, Butler said, “Now I’m wounded.”
I stepped up onto the sidewalk and immediately felt the zap of electricity shoot through my body. It intensified the closer I got to him. The strong pull I felt was odd because I never considered myself a romantic. I didn’t dream about my wedding or the man I would marry. Besides Ben, I’d only had a couple of semi-serious relationships. Nothing earth-shattering. My plan was to travel and finish my graduate degree. Discover the world and focus on my career before settling down.
Maine was the hopeless romantic. She believed in two people spotting each other from across a crowded room and falling madly in love. Soulmates destined to be together. I wasn’t sure what label to stick on my reaction to Butler. All I knew was I’d never experienced these feelings with such intensity in the past.
“Suck it up, buttercup.” I joked, winking.
He stepped toward me putting us only a foot apart. “Aw, you’ve already given me a nickname. Cute. By the way, you look…wow.”
“I hope that’s a good wow.”
“It’s a very good wow.”
My stomach clenched with nerves. I breathed in another deep breath hoping to calm my insides. Stupid move because Butler smelled incredible. It didn’t take me long to place the aroma. It was licorice. He smelled like a box of Good & Plenty, which happened to be my favorite candy. Of course, he smelled like my favorite candy. Why not? The universe was having a good laugh at my expense.
I cleared my throat. “Well, let’s get this show on the road.”
“Your car or mine?”
“What? No, that’s just a figure of speech. Am I the only one who knows classic figures of speech?” I mumbled to myself.
“Sorry.”
“Since you go to the gym and the café, I thought this would be a good area to start with.”
He opened his arms, and said, “Take me wherever you wish.”
I pulled my gaze from him, turned, and started power walking down the sidewalk.
“Oh, we’re starting!” he said, sounding surprised.
It only took a few seconds before he was by my side matching my stride.
“You gotta pay attention if you’re gonna roll with me.”
“Yes, ma’am.” We walked for a few minutes in silence, then Butler wanted to get personal. “So, you grew up here?”
“Sure did.” The shorter I kept my answers the better. As we approached the row of shops, I pointed to them like a real tour guide. “On our right is Five Points, one of the best pizzerias in town. Everything is made from scratch and fresh. They deliver too. Across the street are a few boutiques, which I assume you have no interest in.”
He nudged my arm with his elbow. “Is that your sly way of finding out if I have a girlfriend?”
My muscles tensed. “Not at all. Your personal life is personal. This here is a great bar. Very relaxed atmosphere. From time to time, famous musicians pop in unannounced to perform.”
“I don’t, by the way.”
“Don’t what?”
“Have a girlfriend.”
I was having trouble keeping my delight at the news under wraps, so I stared straight ahead. I don’t know why I was so happy about the lack of a girlfriend. I certainly wasn’t going down that path with him. He was an eligible bachelor; I’m sure the females in town had already endured multiple scratches clawing over one another to get his attention.
I licked my lips, and said, “I’m sure you won’t have any problem finding women to go out with.”
“Finding the right woman is the challenge.”
“I’m sure your Mrs. Right is out there somewhere.”
I could feel his eyes on me. “I think so too.”
We walked a little farther in silence. Only this time, instead of feeling at ease, I was anxious, as if my civic duty were turning into more of a date. Taking in a calming breath, I could smell the aroma of licorice drifting in the air. Ben never smelled like candy. He smelled like cherry cough drops. He tasted like cherry cough drops too. All medicinal. I wondered if Butler tasted like candy?
My palms tingled and started to sweat. As inconspicuously as possible, I slid them down my dress as though smoothing out a wrinkle. Glancing out the corner of my eye, Butler appeared as calm and relaxed as ever. Until…
“Holy shit! A puzzle store!” he yelled, marching ahead toward the tiny shop. When I caught up, he was holding the door open for me and grinning from ear to ear. “You’ve been holding out on me, Evie.”
“I didn’t know this was here. It must be new,” I said, walking across the threshold. The place was covered, floor-to-ceiling, with every type of imaginable puzzle. The store was divided into sections—kids, teens, adults. Each section was subdivided into the number of pieces each puzzle contained. Taking my hand in his, Butler escorted me to the more experienced pro puzzler section in the back.
The warmth of his skin on mine felt incredible. I loved how he took charge, wanting to share something with me that he was passionate about. Even if it was puzzles. Once we got to the back, we headed straight to the one-thousand-piece section.
Still clasping my hand, Butler gazed in wonderment at the wall of choices. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
“One thousand pieces? That must take forever to put together.”
“That’s the challenge.”
He was like a kid. Excitement radiated off his body and melted my heart. It was adorable and infectious.
“What’s the biggest one you’ve done?” I asked.
He turned to me, pride written all over his face, and announced, “Three thousand.”
“You’re kidding?”
The proud expression turned serious. “I never kid about puzzles.” He winked.
“Do tell, what was the ginormous puzzle of?”
“The Harry Potter Crest.”
“Dear, God, you are a nerd.”
“Told ya. Look, they have the new Star Wars one.” Butler reached up and grabbed the two-thousand-five-hundred-piece puzzle. Holding up our joined hands, he said, “Is this okay?”
“I haven’t pulled away, have I?”
“No, you haven’t.”
Butler placed the box under his free arm and guided me toward the front of the store.
“What are you doing?” I said, confused.
“We’re going to pick one out for you. I know it might seem silly to get a kid’s puzzle, but trust me, it’s a great training ground.”
“That’s okay. I don’t think I’d be particularly good—”
“I’ll help you.” Soft brown eyes and a warm smile beamed down at me.
“No. Really. I have little to no patience for…Scooby-Doo! I loved Scooby as a child. Maine wanted to be Daphne, but I always wanted to be Velma, the smart one who solved the mysteries. I guess I have some nerd in me too.”
“You’re even more beautiful when you’re excited,” he said.
Heat crawled up my neck and across my cheeks. If Butler kept saying things like that, I could end up attacking him right here in front of the entire Scooby gang.
“You’re high on puzzle fumes,” I said, as my gaze fell to the floor.
“Sorry. It’s probably too soon to say something like that. I’m not very smooth at this type of thing.” He pointed back and forth between us.
Other than passing each other at the café, this would be the only time I saw Butler, so I figured a little indulgence with the fantasy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I mean, how many times in life does a girl have a great guy tell her such sweet things?
Smiling, I said, “You’re smoother than you think.”
“Really?” Butler’s chest puffed out ever so slightly. “Well, let’s get the beautiful lady a puzzle.”
I had every intention of stopping the fantasy as soon as we left the shop by dropping his hand and the flirting. But I couldn’t. I’d gotten a taste of what it felt like to be unencumbered by responsibility, out with a terrific guy. Butler was interested in me.
I loved my mother more than anything in the world, but whenever I ran into friends, they only asked about her, bypassing any interest in how I was handling things. I understood and didn’t blame them. Though, each time it occurred I felt as if I faded away a little more. Since he left, I’d had little to no contact with my father. My choice, mostly. Other than Maine, I couldn’t remember the last time I held anyone’s full attention.
Dementia was an isolating illness. I despised the word. People thought of an ax-wielding murderer when they heard it. Most of my family and friends started to fall away because they were uncomfortable being around it. It made them sad to see Mom in such a fragile state.
They couldn’t and didn’t want to handle the unbridled behavior, or the awkward silence, not knowing what to say to her. Soon the visits stopped, replaced by phone calls. Then the calls stopped, replaced by run-ins at the store. After a bit of chitchat, they were on their way feeling good that they showed concern for her.
Mom’s diagnosis was devastating, but in the beginning I took what little comfort I could in knowing we had a support system. At least I thought we did. I found out the hard way I was wrong. For now, I just wanted to savor a little more time in Butler’s world before returning to mine.
After leaving the shop, puzzles in hand, which Butler insisted on paying for, we walked hand-in-hand as I continued to point out local hangouts. We popped into the college football store and I had just as much fun watching Butler’s excitement as before. A zest for life exuded from every pore of his body.
As we leisurely strolled back toward Dough-Mates, dark clouds rolled in seconds before the sky opened with huge raindrops pelting down. Tightening his grip, Butler pulled me toward the pizza shop, taking refuge from the down pour under its awning.
“Oh my God! Where did that come from?” I yelled as rain and hair covered my face.
“You okay?”
“Soaking wet, but okay.”
Suddenly, the door to the pizzeria opened and a couple walked out, causing Butler and me to squish closer together, my free hand landing flat against his chest. The four of us exchanged smiles before the couple opened their umbrella and disappeared into the curtain of water.
Smiling down at me, Butler said, “You’ve…uh…got a little drop of water…”
Raising his index finger, he flicked the tip of my nose. A shiver ran through my body at his touch, care, and the way he looked at me.
Crinkling my nose, I teased, “Hope it was rainwater. I’m prone to sinus drainage.”
His smile grew wider. “Either way it was cute.”
“Freak.”
Holding my gaze, he brought his hand up to cradle the side of my face. His thumb slid gently over my cheek wiping away the raindrops. The tip of his tongue slipped between his lips, running along the bottom one as he slowly leaned into me. My pulse sped as my breath shallowed in anticipation of his lips on mine. He was less than two inches away from me when suddenly the door swung open again and a group of giggling teens shot out onto the sidewalk, inadvertently spoiling the moment. Butler’s gaze lifted and mine dropped to the ground as the group made a dash for their car.
“We might as well wait this out while eating pizza,” he said, tilting his head toward the door.
And that was the moment in which my stomach decided to roar to life. Every time I was around this guy the universe decided to embarrass me to the nth degree.
“I might be a little hungry.”
“It sounds like you’re more than a little hungry,” he teased.
“A true gentleman would have ignored it.”
“Where’d you get the idea I was a gentleman?” He winked.
Opening the door, Butler placed his hand on the small of my back and ushered me inside to a cozy booth in the corner.
Before sliding into the seat, I said, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go try to dry my mop top.”
“You look awesome wet…” His face turned bright red. “I mean—”
Holding up my hand, I said, “No need to explain.”
He blew out a sigh of relief. “Good, because—”
“I’ll be right back. Order me a sweet tea.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I floated across the restaurant to the bathroom. It had been a long time since I felt this happy and free.
Placing my purse on the vanity, I snatched a couple of paper towels and patted my face dry. I flipped on the hand dryer, bending down so that the hot air could reach my hair, as I ran my fingers through the limp curls. When I looked in the mirror I cringed. The frizzy beast had been riled up. There was no way I would go back out to Butler looking like Chuckles the Clown. One thing having a loved one with dementia had taught me was to always be prepared. Lucky for me, I always carried a hair tie.
As I reached for my purse, my hand tapped my phone screen, causing it to light up. Picking it up, I was shocked to find a slew of text messages and missed calls from Maine. My heart sank. How could I have missed all my notifications—or the phone ringing, for that matter? I checked the volume to discover that somehow I’d turned it off. With trembling hands, I clutched the phone and burst out of the bathroom, laser focused on getting home. I was halfway to the front door when Butler appeared in front of me.
“Evie, is everything okay?” The concern written across his face hurt my heart.
