Evie Interrupted, page 19
“As I was saying, most of the time Mom is able to feed herself, but there are times—”
“I’m not good with feeding people.”
“How about dressing her?”
“I’m good with that,” she said.
“Bathing her?”
“Yep.”
We had turned a corner and were finally getting somewhere. I mean, there was no such thing as a perfect person, so I was kidding myself to think the perfect caregiver existed.
“Well, let’s give it a try and see how things go,” I said.
Scooting to the edge of the sofa, Angelina leaned toward Mom, and shouted, “We’re going to be best friends.”
“She has dementia. She’s not deaf.”
She then placed her finger under Mom’s chin and wiggled it. “Tickle. Tickle.”
“She’s also not a four-year-old,” I said, deadpan.
Ding.
“Oh, my boo sent me another video.”
Looking at me, Mom said, “I post my tickle in the ground it light.”
I couldn’t have agreed more.
Next.
Linus jumped and twirled, putting on quite a show for Melissa, the young darked-haired woman sitting on the floor in front of Mom and me. She had an easy going relaxed vibe about her which caused my hopes to lift a bit.
“It’s obvious you have no problem with dogs,” I said.
She played with Linus. “I love dogs. All animals, really. I have bunnies.”
“You don’t say?”
“Yep, seven of them.”
“Wow.”
I don’t begrudge anyone’s choice of pet. I prefer dogs, but that’s me. There are cat people, bird people, etc. But there was something weird to me about having bunnies as pets. Bunnies were cute forest creatures to be admired from a distance. Besides, when they sat up on their hindlegs it freaked me out.
“They’re my life. Although sometimes when I talk to them in a high-pitched voice, they look at me like I’m crazy. Oh my gosh, whenever they hear a strange noise, they take off down the hallway like a heard of wild beasts! And it’s so funny when they slide to a stop and end up crashing into one another.” Maniacal laughter bubbled out of her.
“That’s…um…something.”
“Does your mom like to be read to?”
Bunnies aside—this was good she wanted to know Mom’s interests. None of the others cared enough to ask.
“Not really. She loves to listen to music, though.”
“Is there a particular Christian song she likes?”
“She loves all kinds of music…Motown, Frank Sinatra, Michael Bublé, and even Lizzo.”
“Is she a Jew?” Melissa blurted out.
“Excuse me?”
“Is she Jewish?”
My face contorted. “Lizzo?”
“Your mom?”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“It doesn’t bother me one bit. I talk to everyone, black people, Latin people, Asian people, the gay people, and all the LMNOPQ people. I mean, why not.”
“You’re quite the equal opportunity supremacist.”
A wide grin spread across her face. “Aw, thank you so much.”
“Busta, take the bitches out the roots,” Mom chimed in.
Melissa’s eyes widened at the same time as her jaw dropped. Next.
Caregiver fatigue was real and setting into my bones. I was desperate to find the one person who could meet Mom’s needs, was capable, and was not easily distracted, or a racist. It was like finding a needle in a haystack. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this hard to find a nice, skilled caregiver. To say the batch the agency had sent me so far were subpar was an understatement. I needed to come up with a Plan B if this was the pool I had to choose from. Julie from respite care had given me the name of someone she had used on occasion. But my hopes weren’t high for success.
I opened the door to find what looked to be the quintessential grandmother. She was short and round, with rosy cheeks and a salt and pepper bun atop her head. A large floral-patterned bag hung from one arm, while the other hand was wrapped around a dark umbrella. Mary Fucking Poppins was standing on my front porch.
“Hi, I’m Evie Chapman,” I said, extending my hand.
She took my hand and smiled. “Hello, I’m Liza Martinez.”
I stepped aside, letting Liza inside the house.
“Mom’s sitting at the kitchen table,” I said, indicating the direction.
Greeting Linus with a pat on the head, Liza made her way into the other room. Standing in front of Mom, Liza looked directly in her eyes, and said in a normal volume, “Hello, Mrs. Chapman, I’m Liza. Can I sit with you and get to know you?”
The hint of a smile crossed Mom’s face as she slipped her hand into Liza’s. “I’m gonna let you let me run.”
And just like that the search was over.
Present
Part of my love of football was the game itself and the other part was the atmosphere around the game. College football was my favorite. It was that period between playing the game for the love of it and playing the game for the money. College football had heart. High school football had soul. The kids playing in high school had a raw passion for the game. They were focused only on Friday night and the win.
I hadn’t been to a Porter High game since my senior year. Stepping through the gate, my senses were flooded with the familiar bright lights, the rumble of the band tuning up, and the smell of hot dogs and popcorn coming from the concession stand. Groups of teens scurried around parent free, while families claimed their spots in the stands, huddled together under team blankets keeping warm in the chilly night air. It felt as if I’d been teleported back in time to senior year when life was less complicated and my future had endless possibilities.
When Butler asked me to come, my gut reaction was to give him a lame excuse about why I couldn’t. But the look in his eyes told me this meant a lot to him. He wanted to share an important part of himself with me. My heart wouldn’t let my mouth form the rejection, so here I was back at my alma mater looking for my cute nerd. Besides, this was homecoming and the last game of the season. Luckily, Maine was able to swing watching Mom for the night.
Looking toward the field, I saw the reason I was here talking with one of the players on the sideline before the game. My pulse rate sped up watching Butler in his element. I was too far away to hear what he was telling the kid. While his expression was serious, his hand rested on the young man’s shoulder in a supportive manner. Butler stopped talking and gave the player a friendly slap on the back. Looking up, he spotted me. His eyes lit up and a sexy smile split across his face.
“Hey, you came,” he said, walking toward me.
He looked like a teenage dream in a pair of dark khaki pants, dark blue sweater with the Blue Devils logo over his heart, along with matching tennis shoes, and a Blue Devils baseball hat. No doubt every female who walked the halls of Porter crushed on Coach Thompson.
“Was there ever a doubt?”
“Let’s just say you keep me on my toes.”
Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on my lips. The gesture took me by surprise. Butler and I hadn’t spent a lot of time together in public. I knew from our first date he didn’t shy away from public displays of affection, holding my hand within minutes. But a kiss was different, and while there was little to no chance of running into anyone who knew me and my situation, I didn’t want my two worlds to collide.
Still only a hair’s breadth away, I said, “You better control yourself, Coach. You know what they say about how the libido leads to a loss.”
A low growl vibrated his chest. “You are a very sexy distraction.”
My cheeks flushed as my gaze shifted back and forth to check if anyone was listening. “Butler!”
“I love making you blush. Everywhere. I got you something,” he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bright blue knit beanie with the Blue Devils logo on the front. “Can’t have my woman walking around without any visible signs of team support.”
Warmth spread throughout my chest at the sound of Butler claiming me.
I pulled off my old chunky gray beanie. “I like being your woman.”
“Yeah?” he said, slipping the new cap on my head.
“Of course, I do. You give me such kewel gifts.” I aimed my eyes up.
“Treat me right, babe. There’s plenty more paraphernalia where that came from.”
We smiled and stared at each other for a second or two before Butler realized he was at work.
“I gotta go do some coaching now.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll meet you in this spot after the Blue Devils bring home another victory,” he said, backing away.
“Me and my new hat will be here waiting.”
He shot me a wink before turning and joining the team.
I found a seat on the bottom bleacher and settled in for the next couple of hours. I watched Butler coach more than I watched the actual game. There were a few close calls, but in the end, the fighting Blue Devils pulled out a win, guaranteeing a spot in the state championship. My chest swelled with pride for my old team, and for my new boyfriend. The Blue Devils hadn’t gone to the playoffs in several seasons. Butler had really done a fantastic job turning things around for the program.
Before making my way to the area where I was to meet Butler, I made a pitstop at the concession stand for a cup of hot chocolate. Drink in hand, I headed to our meeting place when I thought I heard a deep voice calling my name. Looking toward the field, I saw Butler engrossed in congratulating mode: handshaking and backslapping. As my gaze shifted back toward the seats, I was shocked to see my long-lost cousin I hadn’t seen in years.
“Evie!” Paul said, waving his hand, walking in my direction. From far away he looked like I remembered him from years ago, but as he got closer, I could tell that his boyish look had morphed into a mature man. “I thought it was you and knew for sure when I saw that hair of yours.”
Never missing a stride, Paul opened his arms and trapped me into a hug. I froze, shocked at how casual and familiar he was toward me, after I hadn’t seen or heard from him in a long time. Paul had disappeared four years ago along with the rest of his family. Phone calls from Aunt Carol, my mom’s sister, trickled in for another year before she apparently lost my number.
“Hey, Paul. What are you doing here?” I said, not showing my shock.
“I was in town, and since it was homecoming, I decided to come relive my glory days as a fighting Blue Devils.”
“You were third string.”
“I was still on the team, Evie.”
“Whatever gets you through the night.” I glanced over at where Butler was, making sure he didn’t see me talking with Paul.
“Why are you here?” he said.
“Reliving my glory days.” I plastered a fake smile on my face.
Paul’s gaze dropped to the ground as he shuffled from one foot to the other. “So, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”
“Four years is certainly a while.”
Looking up, but not at me, he said, “I moved to Atlanta for a job about two years ago.”
I stared at him, speechless and expressionless.
“Oh, and I got engaged. His name is Robert. We haven’t set the date yet, because of our busy schedules. We’re thinking about a destination wedding. A few of our friends have done that and they were great.”
I had no idea why this person who had been like a brother to me thought I gave a fuck about his wonderfully rosy life after vanishing from mine when I needed him the most.
“Did you hear I’m going to become an uncle again? Sally and Derek are expecting baby boy number two. They just moved into a new home. The place is huge and let’s just say colorful. You know Sally and her loud color palette.”
I remained silent but inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs. My cousins were both thriving, living their dreams. Normally, I didn’t begrudge anyone anything, but the more Paul talked, the more I got pissed off.
Resentful much?
He hadn’t mentioned his parents yet, so I knew he was running out of updates. Soon, he’d have to broach the subject he was trying hard to stay away from—me and Mom.
Paul’s blue eyes scanned the crowd milling around us. “My parents are here somewhe—there’s Mom.” Lifting his hand, Paul flailed his arms desperately, trying to get his mom’s attention. “Mom! Mom!”
Aunt Carol spotted Paul, giving him a big smile. Her gaze shifted to me, causing her smile to fade. She hesitated for a moment before walking toward us.
“Look who I found,” Paul said, draping his arm around Aunt Carol’s shoulders, pulling her into the awkward encounter.
“Evie, what a surprise to see you,” Aunt Carol said.
“Right back at ya.”
“I’m going to grab a hot dog before they close the stand while y’all catch up,” Paul said already walking away. “Evie, great to see you.”
Aunt Carol watched Paul’s retreating figure until she had no other option but to look at me. “So, how are things going?” she asked, tentatively.
“Shitty.”
She tried to hide her shock with the hint of a smile and a few rapid blinks. “How is she?”
For a split second I thought about telling her to fuck off then walk away. I decided that would be letting her off the hook too easily. Looking Aunt Carol directly in the eyes, I told the truth.
“She no longer walks. She shuffles. There are days when she can’t feed herself. She’s incontinent. She pisses in the hallway and smears shit on the walls. She wanders the house mumbling incoherently. When she’s anxious and frustrated I get hit, slapped, and called horrible names. She can’t dress herself.”
With each horrible truth I listed, Aunt Carol’s demeanor crumpled more. “Oh, Evie,” she choked, tears brimming her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I know I haven’t been around much lately.”
I chuckled. “That’s the understatement of the century.”
“I couldn’t bear to watch my baby sister deteriorate. It made me so sad, but I think of you and her every day. I considered coming by so many times, then I thought, what good would it do? Evelyne wouldn’t recognize me. Please know my heart breaks every time I think of her.”
My blood froze as I stared at her. “I don’t give a fuck about your feelings and I’m not here to absolve you of being a bitch. My mother may not be the same person she once was, but she’s still a person. She’s still alive. She’s not able to communicate in a way you understand, but she still feels hurt, happiness, and anger. How dare you erase her from your life because of your discomfort. It never would have occurred to her to do that to you.”
By the time the last word left my mouth, my body was shaking with rage and tears rolled down my cheeks.
Aunt Carol stood speechless, pity pouring from her eyes. “I want to do—”
Raising my hand, I stopped her from continuing. “I don’t care what you want.”
Spinning on my heels, I walked away. No longer in the mood for hot chocolate, I dumped my cup into the nearest trashcan. Then something occurred to me. I turned back to Aunt Carol and shouted, “Mom always thought your bridesmaid dresses were ugly as fuck!”
Present
Adrenalin coursed through my body, propelling me toward the parking lot. Seeing my aunt not only infuriated me, it broke my heart. She resembled Mom so much: they shared the same delicate features, and green eyes, though they had different hair color. My throat closed when I first gazed into Aunt Carol’s eyes; for a split second, it was like having Mom looking back at me. Recognizing her little girl. But anger and disappointment quickly overshadowed all other feelings. The woman that stood in front of me was nothing more than a stranger.
Once I reached my car, I pulled out my phone to text Butler. Before I was able to bring up his name, I heard his smooth voice.
“Evie!” he hollered, jogging toward me.
“Hey, I was just about to text you.”
He stood in front of me, his warm breath turning into smoke when it hit the cool air. “Are you trying to ditch me again?”
My stomach twisted at his words. “I never want to ditch you.” My voice cracked with emotion.
Placing his hands on either side of my face, he lowered his forehead to mine. “I’m just kidding you. Is everything okay?”
I was afraid if I spoke all the pent up emotions would come flooding out, so I nodded my response.
“Your beautiful eyes are red, like you’ve been crying.”
“Fall allergies, is all,” I lied.
“I got worried when I didn’t see you at our spot.” He paused for a moment. The struggle evident on his face. “Evie, if we’re going too fast, or I’m pushing into something you don’t want—”
Jerking my head back, I said in a panic, “I want you. I want us. Everything I’ve said to you I mean. I love you, Butler. Never doubt that.”
He blew out a sigh. “I love you, too. So much so that sometimes it scares me. I don’t want to fuck things up and lose you.”
“You won’t fuck things up,” I whispered. Snaking my arms around his waist, I pulled Butler close. “Let’s go back to your place and hide away.”
His strong arms circled me. “That sounds perfect, but first I have a question to ask you. Evie Chapman, would you go to the homecoming dance with me?”
Tilting my head back, I rested my chin on his chest. “What did you just ask me?”
“I have to chaperone the dance for an hour and I want you to be my date.”
Stepping out of his embrace, I shook my head. “No, no, no, no.”
“Come on. It will be fun.”
“No, it won’t,” I shot back.
Butler took a step toward me, causing me to back up against my car. “I bet you were adorable in high school. Ever wonder what it would have been like if we’d met then?”
“No, because you wouldn’t have given me a second glance.”
“That’s not true,” he said, placing his hands on the car on either side of my shoulders.
