Evie Interrupted, page 10
Present
I dropped Mom off at her weekly respite group, but instead of getting right to my errands I found myself aimlessly driving around. Five days had passed since the day I bailed on Butler without so much as a hint of an explanation. He texted and even left a couple of voicemails even after I made such a fool of myself. All of his messages were caring, wanting to know if I was okay and if I needed his help. No anger or arrogance. Just kindness and concern. It took every ounce of strength I had to ignore my phone—and Butler.
Something weird was happening to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I had told myself I wasn’t going to see him, and then I sought him out. My heart, head, and hormones were in a constant struggle. Loneliness had been a mainstay in my life for the past few years. There was something in the way Butler looked at me that made me want to lose myself in his arms and never find my way out.
During the week I forced myself to redirect. I focused on other, more important things. While Mom was sleeping, eating, or watching TV, I rearranged closets, rooms, and cabinets. And once I finished, I re-rearranged them. Anything to keep me from reading his texts, listening to his messages, or thinking about him.
So, imagine my surprise when I pulled into the parking lot of my old alma mater, Porter High School. The same Porter High School that had a new football coach who I had spent the past week trying to get out of my system. I just wanted, needed, a quick glance at him. I didn’t know why. I just did. Swirling hormones know no logic. Slowly driving around the campus caused memories to invade my mind of happier times. These buildings held so much promise for the future. I loved high school. I loved school, period.
The thought of leaving the house in the morning and returning a few hours later with new knowledge gave me a high. It didn’t always have to be academic, either. I was giddy learning everything from who was dating who to discovering a new lipstick color. So, no matter what the knowledge, I was smarter when I got home in the afternoon.
Turning the corner, the football field came into view. As I slowed down, my head shook at how pathetic I was.
Hello, my name is Evie, and I am a stalker.
It was nine in the morning; classes were in session. No one would be roaming around out here. Football practice was always before school when the weather was hot, and after school on a beautiful crisp fall day like today. The odds of me getting a peek at Butler were zero to none. It was just as well. A lonely libido and heart made Evie a cray-cray lady.
Hanging my head in shame, I had a moment of silence for the dignity I had lost. Once I came to my senses, I put the car in reverse and—
Bang!
My body jolted and lurched forward from the impact of whatever I had just backed into. Looking in the rearview mirror all I saw was the giant silver grille of a truck. What kind of dumbass would pull up that close to another car?
A student. Fucking fantastic.
I blew out a sigh, remembering what it felt like to be a new driver with my very first car. The kid was probably already sweating bullets and on the verge of tears. I needed to stay calm and resist the urge to unload some driver etiquette 101 on him. I got out and walked to the rear of my car without glancing at the truck. Squatting, I slid my sunglasses down to the tip of my nose and assessed the damage.
“It doesn’t look too bad, but for future reference you never pull up to another car that close. Just let me have your parents’ phone number and the adults will take care of everything.”
“Um…ma’am, do we really need to…uh…let my parents know about this, ma’am? They’re going to kill me, ma’am,” a squeaky, quivering, cracking voice said.
Great. Not only was he on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but he was also pissing me off with all the ma’am shit. Tilting back my head, the bright sun peeked through the clouds, causing my eyes to squint. The silhouette of the truck with a large figure standing next to it came into view. Pushing my sunglasses back up, I stood, coming face-to-chest with the subject of my stalker desires.
“O-h-h-h-h, h-i-y-a,” I stammered.
Butler’s bottom lip disappeared behind his pearly whites as he attempted to stifle a smile.
Awkward chuckling dribbled out of me. “Um…funny meeting you here.”
“It really is, especially since I work here,” he said.
I huffed out a laugh and a lie. “You work here?”
“I do.” Folding his arms across his chest, the material of his navy-blue T-shirt strangled his biceps. Butler shifted, leaning his basketball short-covered hip against his big silver truck.
“I graduated from here.” My hand waved in the air, finally grabbing onto several strands of my hair, and twirling it. “Did I mention that the…um…last time we chatted?”
His dark brows lifted as his eyes widened. “You mean five days ago?”
He was enjoying my unease a little too much and had every intention of drawing it out. I deserved it. After all, not only did I bail, but I went MIA.
“So, you work at this Porter High?” My voice reached a pitch so high only dogs could hear it.
“Well, it’s the only one in town.”
With pursed lips, I racked my brain for a believable response and ended up with, “It really is.”
“Evie, did you come here looking for me?”
Planting my hands firmly on my hips, a long stream of oxygen spewed from my lips. “W-o-o-ow, that’s pretty…uh…arrogant on your part.” Shaking my head, I said in a mocking tone, “Oh, Butler, I’m driving around campus hoping to get a glimpse of you.” I ended with a little chuckle. “This is my alma mater, you know.”
“You stated that previously.”
Squirming silence.
“I had some amazing times at this place, lemme tell ya,” I said, my gaze bouncing all over the place to avoid looking at Butler.
Unfolding his arms, he took three steps toward me, landing us only a foot or so apart. He leaned in and slid my sunglasses down, exposing my eyes. I swallowed so loud the sound pounded in my ears. My entire body vibrated on high.
“What are you doing here, Evie?”
I was so captivated by his nearness, I’d lost the ability to form a coherent thought. Panic struck, my mind doubled back, and I repeated the last thing I could remember. “Driving around campus hoping to get a glimpse of you.”
Dear global warming: Please cause a seismic shift in the earth, creating a large crater, and gobble me up.
A sexy smile slowly appeared across his face, causing his dimples to pop, my nipples to pop, and the air between us to pop. Things were popping all over the fucking place. Butler’s dark eyes shifted from side-to-side before they zeroed in on my lips. Leisurely he removed my sunglasses and inched his mouth closer to mine. Only a hair’s breadth separated us. The cool air got thicker and more suffocating with each passing second. Heat and moisture intensified in the down under region of my body. Trying to bring my wobbling knees together, I lost my balance, and fell into Butler’s chest.
One of his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me up against him. Butler’s lips brushed mine, causing every nerve in my body to explode. The tip of his tongue slid out, tickling the middle of my Cupid’s Bow, before gently gliding down to the seam of my mouth.
My mind shouted, Evie, you should stop this. But the rest of my body screamed, shut the fuck up. Parting my lips, I let him know, in no uncertain terms, what to do next.
The kiss had barely started when it heated up to a full make-out session right here in the parking lot. My hands traveled up his chest, wrapping around his neck and holding on as if my life depended on it. The feel of his large hands pressing against my ribs, his fingers curling into my shirt, pulling me closer, had pushed all the shouldn’t out of my head, leaving it swimming. We were in a bubble where Butler and I were the only two who existed. Until, suddenly, the sound of honking horns blared and the bubble burst.
Feeling drunk, I pulled away from the kiss, but not from Butler. He still had a firm hold on me. He placed his forehead on mine and worked to slow his breathing. “Figured I’d better kiss you before you ran again.”
“That was a good decision on your part, Coach. Your heart is beating really fast.”
“That’s on you, Miss Chapman. Why did you run from me last week?”
I paused for a second, looking for the words to apologize. “I’m sorry about that and the way I’ve handled things with you.” Instinctively, I rubbed my flat palms over his chest. “I’m prone to freakouts. I was having such a great time with you, I just—”
“Freaked out?”
“Pretty much,” I whispered.
“I’ll let you get away with that for now. Evie, I really like you, and want to see more of you.” His brows crinkled, a sign, I realized, that meant he thought his words came out wrong. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean. I really like you too, and want to see more of you, but—”
“Is there someone else?”
Yes, my mother who has stage 5 frontotemporal dementia, and who I love more than anything in the world, needs me.
I knew what Butler meant. He wanted to know if there was another man in my life. The men who had been in my life weren’t able to handle my life. And even though Butler checked off all the right boxes so far, the day would come when things would get too real. Too much. Too uncomfortable. Too time-consuming. Too stressful. Too disgusting. As much as I wanted Butler to have a shot at being my cute nerd, in time, his character, understanding, and patience would be tested, and he would fail, just like Dad and Ben.
Looking at his sincere face, I gave him the answer I wanted to be true. “No, there’s no one else in my life.”
Excitement pinged off him. “That’s great…I mean…”
“I know.”
“I just…uh.” With flushed cheeks, he glanced at the ground, before his gaze bounced back up to mine. “I would like a chance to be that someone in your life.”
Swoon.
“Wow…that’s really…wow.” All my internal organs plummeted to the lowest point possible in my body upon realizing how shitty this response was. “I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing for me to say after you…I’m not accustomed to someone saying such sweet things to me.”
“No problem. You’re not just talking to a member of the foot-in-mouth club. I’m also the president.”
Relief and laughter bubbled up and out of me. Not only was this guy smart, sweet, funny, and hot, I could now add chivalrous to the list. The second he realized I was embarrassed, he swooped in and slayed the awkwardness, making me laugh. Biting my bottom lip, I tried to come up with the right words to say goodbye. But for the life of me, none came.
“So, your car,” Butler said, walking over to check out the slightly scratched bumper. “I can buff that out in no time.”
“Really? Thank God.” Not only was I thrilled my car would be fixed, I would also get to spend more time with Butler.
“Is tomorrow night good for you?”
“For what?” I said.
“For me to buff you.”
“You can’t do that here? Now?”
Darting his eyes back and forth, he said, “In broad daylight? Nice to know you’re so adventurous.”
“You think you’re real funny?”
“I’m a little funny. Besides, it’s my way of getting to see you again.”
I pursed my lips attempting to hold my raging ridiculously large smile in check. “And I, you.”
“Better come back.”
“Can I let you know for sure, later today?”
“I’ll cook,” he offered.
“Ah, sweetening the pot.”
“And after I cook and buff for you, we can…you know.” He winked.
At any other point in my life, I would be offended if a guy asked me to his place, hinting about having sex. But I’m no innocent, it’s been a while, and this would be the only chance to have one night with him. If I just had the one night, I’d be able to move on and focus on reality.
Swaying my hips, I sauntered toward him. “Are you talking about what I think you’re talking about?”
“I think so. Puzzling!”
Trying not to look shocked, I cheerfully said, “That’s exactly what I thought you were talking about.”
“It’s only our second date, Evie. I’m not that free with my body.” He mocked offense.
“Oh, is that what we’re calling it, a second date?”
“Yeah.” Butler moved past me and took a few steps in the direction of the football field.
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page,” I hollered at him.
He stopped and turned to face me. “Evie, thank you!”
“For what?”
“Giving me someone to look forward to.”
I stared as he grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled it over his head, revealing his jacked-up torso. The sight knocked the breath out of my lungs.
Waving my finger up and down, I said, “Isn’t that a bit inappropriate with all the impressionable minds and raging hormones flying around here?”
He scanned the isolated and empty area. “Looks like the only hormones raging are yours.”
He slow jogged to the fence surrounding the football field and jumped it even though the entrance wasn’t that far away. Show off. As Butler ran the track around the field, one question kept throbbing in my head. Why the fuck do I keep digging a deeper hole?
Memories
With my hand pressed flat against the door, I closed my eyes and braced myself. This day started out like any normal day. I got out of bed at the very last possible moment and rushed to get dressed, because I enjoyed sleep more than I enjoyed breakfast. As I sat in Mr. Davis’s junior English Lit class taking notes and inconspicuously nibbling on the granola bar I had shoved in my backpack, my name blasted over the intercom.
“Evie Chapman, please report to the office.”
By the end of the sentence the bottom had dropped out of my stomach. It was never a good sign to be called to the office in the middle of a class. I didn’t even make it to the office. As I approached, I saw Dad standing in the hallway with an unreadable look on his face.
Where was Mom?
Each step pushed the sobs up into my throat. By the time I reached him, I was a complete basket case.
Wrapping his arms around me, Dad whispered into the top of my head, “Your grandmother is in the hospital.”
Dad drove faster than I thought he was capable of, weaving in and out of traffic. He gave me information in bullet points. Mom had just taken Gran to her doctor’s appointment. Everything appeared normal. They stopped to pick up breakfast and take it back to Gran and Papa’s house. Mom and Papa were in the kitchen while Gran went to her bedroom. The next thing they heard was a loud thud. They ran back to the bedroom and found Gran unconscious on the floor.
I hesitated a few seconds before forcing my hand to push the heavy door open. Humming and beeping of machines swirled around me as I saw Papa standing by the bedside, quiet and stoic. Aunt Carol had planted herself in the far corner of the room with knitted brows, hugging herself. Finally, I focused on the bed where Gran lay covered up and hooked up. My knees gave out, causing my hand to tighten around the doorknob.
Once I regained balance my gaze landed on Mom, sitting in a chair at the head of the bed. In one hand she held Gran’s hand and in the other a soaked wadded up tissue. Her beautiful eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. At that moment something inside me shifted. I had never seen my mother cry before. I’d witnessed her get misty-eyed, but never sob. She was always strong. But today she wasn’t my superhero mom. Today she was a daughter saying goodbye to her superhero.
This was my first experience with death; so I had no idea what words to say to make Mom feel better. I guess there wasn’t anything to say, really. When you lost the one who taught you everything, would do anything for you, and loved you above and beyond all else, you had to feel your way through it. No right words existed to fill the loss. So, I stayed silent, sat next to my mom, and held her hand. Three generations of women linked by strength, support, and love. Praying that a miracle would take place and we’d have more time together.
Present
Instead of running errands and heading back home as I had planned, I made a pit stop at Dough-Mates. I needed Maine to talk me down from this ledge and to momma sit tomorrow night. The morning rush was dying down by the time I walked through the door. My best friend read my panicked expression the second she spotted me.
“Evie, is everything okay?” Maine said, rushing toward me from behind the counter.
“No, everything isn’t okay. Things are bad. Very, very bad.”
Pulling me into a hug, she whispered, “We will get through whatever is wrong together. I got you, girl.”
“I can’t believe how stupid I am, Maine. I open my mouth, and stupid, stupid words fall out without me giving a second thought as to what I’m actually saying.”
“You’re only human. We all get stressed, frustrated, and say things we don’t mean. Your mom loves you and I believe she understands you’re doing your best.”
Stepping out of her embrace, I looked at her with narrowed eyes. “I didn’t say the stupid stuff to Mom.”
“Then who?”
“Butler.”
“Coach Sexy,” she said, waggling her dark sculpted brows. “Take a breath and calm yourself. Things are slowing down here. I’m going to get you a cup of Zen chamomile tea and then we can talk it all out, with special attention to the naughty parts.”
“Oh my God, can you see it on me?”
“Evelyne Rose Chapman, did you do the morning mamba between the sheets with—”
“No! Of course not. But I let him—”
Maine’s hand flew up in front of my face before I uttered another word. “Hold that thought! I gotta be sitting down for this story. I’m going to get your tea and I’ll meet you over on the sofa.”
Parting ways, Maine took off like a hummingbird to make my tea while I slouched my way over to the sofa and plopped down. Within seconds she was by my side, hot tea in hand and a big smile on her face.
