Beyond Reach, page 16
part #3 of True Calling Series
“You still haven’t answered my question. They’ll want to know, so they can determine how likely the chances are that the baby was conceived naturally,” I whisper.
“Zane, I’m not discussing that with you.”
“Ari, I’m still on your side.” And I mean it, even though there’s a part of me that thinks I should hate her. But I love her too much to ever let it win out. Neither one of us speaks, both uncharacteristically at a loss for words.
She finally looks over at me, drawing in a breath before she speaks. “I only slept with him one time. But I know this baby is his, I feel it.”
I don’t know if that makes me feel any better; I’d rather it hadn’t happened at all. I had never taken it there, believing it to be the right thing to do because she was so young and I figured there was plenty of time for that in our future. It hurts that she couldn’t apply the same logic or show restraint with him, whether it was one time or not. “You have no idea how much pain I’m in at this moment, to think that you’d choose to sleep with him.” I hear myself say this, and I don’t recognize me. I sound so self-indulgent, jealous, and petty. But I’ve spent so long trying to protect her, keeping her shielded from my pain, my need, that I figure I’m owed at least this moment to be selfish.
“At the time I slept with Cal, you were an … unknown entity.” Wincing, I bury my fist in my mouth. She notices. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound cruel. But it’s so hard to explain this to someone who hasn’t experienced what it’s like.” Gulping, she looks intently into my eyes. “That first year on Novo was a living hell for me. There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t wonder what they’d taken from me—when they stole my memories—and how it was changing me. Because it did change me; it altered me in ways I didn’t even know or couldn’t fully comprehend. I still can’t. The anger and bitterness were starting to eat me alive, so I made a conscious decision to let it go, to accept my new life and forget what’d gone before. I didn’t feel there was any other option. Perhaps it would’ve been different if I’d remembered us. But maybe it wouldn’t, I really don’t know. I’m not the same girl you fell in love with.”
I feel numb, and there’s a golf-ball-sized lump in my throat, so forming any type of cohesive response is out of the question. After a couple minutes of silence, she continues, “I’d resigned myself to my fate. Cal was my designated suitor, my fiancé; it was a done deal. And I love him, so when the opportunity presented itself, it didn’t seem wrong; it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but I didn’t know at the time that my actions would affect anyone else, and I can’t, I won’t, regret it now.”
I know she’s put considerable effort into explaining it carefully, hoping to limit my distress, but it doesn’t change the facts or how they make me feel. “I know you didn’t do it consciously to hurt me, but irrespective of that, I can’t help how I feel. I spent two years longing for you, crying myself to sleep every night, and I refused to let anyone else in. Thoughts of you consumed my every waking moment and hijacked my dreams at night. I refused to relinquish hope that one day we’d be together and finally experience that.”
“That’s not really true though, is it?” She pins me with a derisory look.
“What?” I can’t believe she doubts the sincerity of my actions and my words.
“What about Isla? She told me you slept together. How many times did you do it with her?” she asks, her tone accusatory. “I didn’t have you pegged as someone with double standards.”
“That was one time, and it was a mistake.” Her eyes widen. “We didn’t speak properly for weeks after it. I can’t believe you’re throwing that at me, and belittling the feelings I have for you. You’re right, you have changed, and it’s not for the better,” I say, pulling myself to my feet. “What do you want me to report back to the War Council?” I ask bluntly.
“Run away, and tell them that our baby is none of their concern.”
“Fine.”
I slam the door viciously on my way out.
Lying in bed a few hours later, I regret my outburst. Arguing with Ari won’t change anything, or the fact that my life is falling apart at the seams. I’ve been so consumed in her for years that I don’t how else to be. If she slips from my grasp indefinitely, I don’t know how I’ll survive. It’d be far simpler to cut ties now, and start the proper grieving process, but I promised Malcolm that I’d protect his family, and Ari needs me now more than ever. I know that I can’t, and won’t, let her down. All I’ve achieved today is to drive a gap between us and cause her further pain. I desperately want to rectify that. “Ari?” She doesn’t answer, but I can tell that she’s still awake. “I’m sorry,” I say into the silence.
The next morning, I hear the buzz of voices from halfway down the corridor. Turning the corner into the kitchen, I am astounded at how quickly our numbers have swelled. The communal space is packed to breaking point, every table and couch crammed full of people eating breakfast. The room sings to the tune of so many voices talking, laughing, and joking. Grabbing a muffin, I turn, intent on heading back to my apartment, when I spot a friendly face beckoning me with a wave. “I saved you a seat,” Commander De Luca says. Ari looks up from across the table, quickly averting her eyes.
“Thanks.” Sitting down, I nod at Ari, Deacon, and Mel. A girl I’ve never met before sits in the seat to my left. Short, jet-black hair contrasts vividly against her pale, luminous skin. Her delicate features are all perfectly in proportion.
“Zane, let me introduce you to my daughter Ruby,” Commander De Luca says with obvious pride. “Ruby, this is Zane, our IT expert extraordinaire.”
“Pleased to meet you,” she says, extending her hand.
“And you. I hope you’re settling in well.”
“I am, thanks. Everyone’s been very welcoming. Ari is giving me a grand tour after breakfast.”
“Great, let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“Sure thing.” Smiling widely, she positively lights up the room. I understand instantly why she was given the name Ruby; her lips are the deepest shade of red I’ve ever seen. She’s a total knock-me-down stunner.
“It’s rude to drool at the breakfast table.” Ari still won’t look at me.
“I’m just being friendly.”
She almost sounds jealous.
I wish.
I listen idly to the banter around the table, but my mind is elsewhere. “Ruby, are you ready yet?” Ari asks from across the table. Glancing up, I note that she’s barely eaten a thing. Ordinarily I’d say something, but there’s no point in aggravating her further.
“All set,” Ruby replies enthusiastically.
“Actually, Ari, I was hoping we could talk privately for a few minutes.”
“I’m busy, Zane.” She still hasn’t met my eyes. The Commander stares from one of us to the other, clearly picking up on the underlying tension.
“No problem, I’ll catch you later.” It looks like she isn’t going to forgive me any time soon. The others abscond, leaving only Commander De Luca and myself at the table. “You must be thrilled to have her here.”
“I am. Though she’s been through a lot, and she’s still suffering. My ex-wife was killed six months ago, that was a shock.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He’s pensive for a few moments, and we sit in amenable silence. “I take it your conversation with Ariana didn’t go too well?”
“No, it went off on a tangent I wasn’t expecting.”
“Oh?” He arches an eyebrow.
I probably shouldn’t say anything, and risk incurring further wrath, but he’s going to find out at some point, and I wouldn’t mind his advice. “She slept with Cal, and she’s convinced the baby is his.” Lowering my eyes, I stare at a stain on the tabletop.
“Hmm. That does change things.”
“I’m not so sure it does; it could still be as a result of the government’s meddling. I don’t know if there’s any way to tell for certain, but I’m going to visit Dr. Hann and see what our options are. Keep this to yourself for the moment. I don’t want to report back to the War Council yet.”
“She’s a lucky girl to have you.”
“Yeah, you’d think,” I mutter, picking at the muffin with my fingers.
As I set out on the journey to the hospital, I’m banking on Dr. Hann being there and not in his usual laboratory office. It really doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Ari is scheduled to visit Cal. At least that’s what I try to convince myself.
Quietly opening the door to the observation room, I nod at Dr. Hann. I peer through the hidden glass window, and my blood pressure rockets as I spot Ari settled on the edge of Cal’s bed, whispering into his ear. The muscles in my jaw clench anxiously. “Should she be leaning in so closely?”
“He doesn’t appear to be aggressive with her. It’s as if he’s using whatever sliver of self-control he has to be careful around her. Interesting dynamic,” he muses.
I don’t want to spend any time wondering about their dynamic, so I don’t even acknowledge his comment. “I’ve spoken with Ari.” He twists around to face me. “There’s a possibility that the baby could be Cal’s. Is there a way of confirming if her pregnancy is natural or contrived?”
“I don’t think so,” he says, looking thoughtful, “but a scan will help to determine the gestation, and perhaps that might give us the answer we need. There’s a DNA procedure we can apply thereafter, but it’s risky to the fetus.”
“She’ll never agree to that. Can you talk to her about setting up the scan? She’s not really speaking to me at the minute.”
“This must be very difficult for you.”
“Does everyone know my history with Ari?” I sigh in exasperation.
“I don’t,” he says, without shifting his gaze, “but I’ve seen how you are with her. It’s obvious how much you care.”
“Last night, I actually thought about requesting a memory erase myself. It would be far easier for both of us if I didn’t remember that I love her.”
“Then you wouldn’t be the person you are, and you don’t seem to be the type to take the easy way out.” Perceptive. “I was hoping you’d do me a favor, Zane, maybe it’s too much to ask.”
“What do you need?”
“Can you try to retrieve Cal’s medical file on the Novo server? It’d be extremely beneficial, not just for his recovery, but in terms of discovering exactly what they’re doing to these boys.”
I’m not feeling very charitable, so I pause considerably before responding. “I’ll try. But don’t get your hopes up; I still haven’t managed to get back into their systems yet.”
“I appreciate your help, and it’s generous of you, given the circumstances.”
“It’s my job,” I reply, my voice harsher than intended.
“Can I ask you a question? Off the record?” I ask, automatically lowering my tone. Eyebrows arch in silent surprise. “What’s going on with those Rangers in the other room?” His expression instantly darkens, and his mouth tightens in a thin line. I fear that I may have overstepped some unspoken line.
“I can’t explain here. I know a place we can talk safely. Follow me.”
His fingers are gripping the door handle when I hear an almighty crash. Rushing past him, I dash into Cal’s room without a moments’ hesitation. Ari’s head flips quickly in my direction, and her eyes narrow to thin slits. “Leave.” Soldier Boyd is fixated on Cal as he motions, with his outstretched arm, urging caution. I look at Cal, and the expression on his face is one of raw, naked hostility.
“Only if you leave with me,” I say, inching toward her.
“Get back,” Cal roars. Ari moves toward him, stretching out her hand. Reacting without any consideration for my own safety, I grab the fabric of her dress and yank her backward, scooping her up into my arms. Cal thumps his hand down on the steel end of his bedframe, and it slowly bends under the strength of his grip. Ari is flailing about, trying to free herself from my grasp. “Get your hands off me!” Ignoring her pleas, I turn and stride toward the door just as Dr. Hann appears in the doorway.
A strong hand tugs me back with extreme force, and I lose my footing, stumbling backward over the base of the unit at the edge of the bed. I hurtle toward the ground as Ari is wrenched from my arms. My head falls back and clatters loudly against the floor as an excruciating pain reverberates from the back of my skull through to my temple. Staggering to my feet, I’m dizzy. I lean against the wall, clutching my head. As my vision refocuses, I see Cal cradling Ari to him. She’s whispering intently, and his expression is becoming steadier with each word. Backing over to the bed, he jumps on top—the bed screeching as the tiled floor loudly objects to the sudden weight—and pulls her securely onto his lap. His arms fasten around her like iron claws. “Get out, all of you,” he demands. Rotating his eyes around the room, he attempts to stare each of us down. Dr. Hann moves to his side, and Cal permits it, appearing to tolerate him.
“I need to check your vitals, Cal.” He lifts his head. “Can you leave the room please? That includes you too, Solider Boyd.” Having seen Soldier Boyd in action, I know it’s difficult for him to relinquish his duty, but so is disobeying orders. Trusting Dr. Hann to look out for Ari, I follow Soldier Boyd out of the room and take a seat just outside the door.
Dr. Hann emerges a few minutes later. “What happened? Is she all right?”
“They’re both okay. He had a nasty hallucination, but I don’t believe she was ever in any danger. I’m confounded. His natural protective instinct toward her seems to be over-powering the psychosis. She’s insistent on staying by his side. I’ll continue to observe. You can go, Zane, we’ll have that conversation later.” Getting up, I press my hand to the back of my head and wince as a dart of pain shoots out from underneath my fingertips. “Here,” he says, reaching into his inside pocket and extracting a thin vial. “For the pain.”
How I wish he’d some medication to dull my emotional pain.
The throbbing pain in my head is starting to dissipate, and I can’t put off the inevitable, so I take a detour to Central Control and update Agent Dale on my conversation with Ari and Dr. Hann. He frowns. “Zane, if Dr. Hann can’t tell us with absolute certainty that the baby is Cal’s, then the original plan remains intact.”
“I won’t let them touch her.” A muscle pops in my jaw.
“You’ll have no choice.”
Of course, he’s unaware of our little blackmail tool, and while I have that control, I intend to use it to provide as much protection as possible for Ari. Knowing we won’t be able to exert influence for long, I’ve no doubt they’re already busy working on a ‘get out’ clause. They’re next on my list of visitations.
I’ve never been to this part of the facility before because the Chancellor’s office is in a special security clearance zone. Two muscle-bound soldiers man the perimeter of the fully enclosed inner office. One of them takes my name and scurries off. Once approved, the other soldier escorts me through double doors, down an endless long narrow corridor, and out into a wide lobby. Micha Kloon appears in my line of sight. Her expression hardens as she takes one look at my face, but there are appearances to uphold, so she walks forward determinedly and shakes my hand vigorously. “Follow me.”
The Chancellor’s office is off to the left, at the end of a short hall. Micha dips her head so the retinal scanner can do its job. There’s a faint click, and then the aluminum doors slide inward. Following Micha into the room, I take a seat in front of the Chancellor. Seated at a large desk, he makes no attempt to rise in greeting. He shows no interest in even attempting to maintain a semblance of professionalism. Micha scoots around, resting on the edge of the desk beside him. If this show of solidarity is meant to intimidate me, it’s a pathetic attempt, which earns only further disrespect. My contempt for them both is palpable. I’ve learned that—with these two—the direct approach works best, so I waste no time in getting to the point.
“I’ve spoken with Ari, and the baby is Cal’s. Dr. Hann will perform a scan today which will confirm it, and that’s the end of the matter.”
“Don’t insult our intelligence, Zane. Dr. Hann will be able to confirm zilch with the sonogram. A full DNA extraction will be the only way to confirm that the baby is their biological child,” she says. I’m surprised at how reliably informed she appears to be. “I’ll speak to him myself to organize the procedure.”
“The hell you will! You will not touch her, or the baby. I won’t hesitate to release that recording.” She laughs cynically.
“You don’t want to play that game with us, because you’ll lose,” the Chancellor says, picking at an imaginary thread on the sleeve of is jacket.
“Maybe it’s time I had a conversation with the Board of Management,” I say, letting the threat hang in the air. I’ve been a busy boy, using my time wisely to compile detailed files on all of the Board members. The Clementia Board resides in a separate facility in Orlando, Florida, along with other key administrative staff. Several of the members are ex-politicians and congressmen, who had considerable ties within the business community before the change. I can understand why they have a vested interest in all this, and why they’d fight to take back control. But for the life of me, I cannot fathom how anyone came to choose Chancellor Corr and Micha Kloon as the face, and lifeblood, of the movement. I know there’s something I’m missing, and I need to keep on digging until I discover it. For I’m certain, there’s more dirt to be found.
The Chancellor’s face pales at the mere mention of the Board. Very interesting. They both know that I’ve the knowledge, and access, to make life very difficult for them. “There’s no need to be hasty, Zane,” the Chancellor says. Micha places her hand over his, cautioning him with her eyes. I don’t know what silent message has passed between them, only that he’s authorizing her to take charge.
