Kismet, page 23
“Any longer and you may have needed to,” I said, climbing into the bed.
He pulled a few shirts from the drawer and closed it. “Don’t forget, I won’t be home tomorrow. I’m driving down to Charleston to prospect a client.”
I frowned; I had forgotten about that. “It’s a good thing you reminded me. I would have been freaking out when you didn’t show up.”
“So, you’re saying you would miss me?”
“Maybe, when I realized you weren’t coming home with dinner,” I teased.
“You are awful.”
“Well, you stick around, so I can’t be that bad.”
He snapped his finger and pointed at me in concurrence. “You have a point.”
We stared at each other for a moment. “Well, I have an early start, so this is goodnight from me.”
“Goodnight,” I echoed.
He turned the light switch off and walked out of the bedroom.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I contemplated the gnawing urge to ask him to stay. “Col?”
A moment later his shadow appeared in my doorway. “Yeah?”
“Would you lay with me, just for a little bit?”
My heart began to race as I heard his footfalls coming closer. He peeled off his shirt and jeans, discarding them on the floor. I felt the dip in the mattress from his weight as he crawled in and wrapped his arms around me.
I’m not sure what I was expecting by asking him to lay here. I certainly wasn’t going to fall asleep with him so close. Especially since this was the first time we’d been like this in almost seven months.
We lay there for a little bit, and just as I started to relax, I felt the baby move. Lately, she had been making her presence known by pushing more intently on my ribs at random times.
Untying my robe, I took his hand and placed it on my stomach. “Do you feel that?”
He was silent for a moment, then he propped himself up on his elbow. “That’s her?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Does it hurt?” he asked wide-eyed.
“Most of the time, no. It’s more of a surprise, weird feeling.”
Eventually, he withdrew his hand and rolled on his back. “I don’t know if I can do this, Granger.”
Confused, I sat up and looked down at him, my robe falling open. “What do you mean?”
He sighed as he ran his hands over his face. “I can’t lay beside you and touch you and pretend it’s platonic. I mean, I will, if that is what you want, but it’s killing me, and so is that mattress in the spare room.”
I tried to contain my laughter, but it was futile; his frustration was so endearing.
“Granger, this isn’t funny. I am so fucking hard for you right now.”
His desperation sparked excitement in me as that familiar heat began to build in my core. I wanted to feel the weight of his body on mine, the push of his tongue into my mouth. I wanted my spine to shiver with that first thrust of him going inside me. I wanted what only he could give me, himself.
I didn’t think—I acted on impulse as I leaned down and kissed him.
Collin’s hungry lips battered my eager mouth, and I welcomed it. I circled his tongue with mine thinking of all the places I wanted him to go with it. He pushed himself up on his knees and brought his hands to my face almost crushing my cheeks under his palms.
Clawing the robe from me, he kissed my chin, my nose, my eyelids, even my temples. He dragged his thumb across my bottom lip as he kissed the side of my mouth. I shuddered at the chills that coursed through my body. I ran my hands down the toned muscles of his stomach, impatient for his flesh to burn my fingertips once again.
Unbuttoning his boxers, I wrapped my hand around his hardened girth and began pumping him.
Kissing my neck, Collin groped my breasts as I let out a muffled cry. They were sore, but I didn’t care. I was just grateful his hands were on me. For the first time in a long time, we were free in every way to be ours.
“I want you,” he said with a shaky voice.
“I am yours, Collin.”
Lowering me onto the pillows, he reached for my leg. Lifting it, he let it rest on his shoulder as he positioned himself at my center.
“I love you so much.”
“I know,” he replied as he entered me.
The best thing I did was listen to Collin when he told me to move in. By now I was so used to having him around, I was going to be lonely without him. Before he left this morning, he came in and kissed me goodbye. It made me a little sad because we had just spent our first night together in months. But this was his career, and I promised myself a long time ago I would never stand in the way of his success.
Grabbing my purse and the two cans of paint we’d bought last night, I loaded them into my car. I drove downtown to Collin’s grandparents’ home, which I guess was our home now. No one was there when I pulled up, and I was glad. I wanted to walk through by myself.
Gables covered the high-pitched roofs—one even boasted a weathervane. There were bay windows on the first and second floors and a porch that wrapped all the way around. It brought my mind back to a time when I told Collin my dreams of our future home together. Ironically, it had been right here all along.
On the inside, the finished product did not disappoint. Sunlight poured in from every corner, emphasizing the open floorplan Collin designed. My footsteps echoed through the house as I climbed the staircase to the second floor. I poked my head into each bedroom, saving the nursery for last.
The walls were primed white, waiting to be decorated with beautiful things. Both windows had seats built into them, which I loved. One of them over-looked the backyard, where there was a huge hole being dug out.
I told Collin that I wanted a swimming pool and two days later, they started working on it. It was the same with the kitchen cupboards. I wanted them to be white, so he ripped out the brand-new walnut ones and installed white cabinets instead. Anything I wanted—he gave me—even though I didn’t need him too.
Taking one last look around our daughter’s room, I wandered up the second flight of stairs to the attic. Collin had it finished off as a bonus space. Before I had seen it, my first thought was, it would make an excellent playroom for the baby when she got older.
But now that I was standing in here, maybe it would be better suited as something else. I looked around trying to envision a use for it when I noticed five black transport cases lined up neatly along the wall. Curious as to what was in them, I crouched down and released the straps.
To my surprise, I saw myself. It was one of the portraits I had auctioned for Mikkel’s charity. My heart skipped a few beats as I opened another, seeing myself yet again. All this time I assumed that they had been purchased by random people. My love for Collin swelled at the realization that he had been the one who had bought them.
I touched the black and white canvas, running my hand along the silhouette as Mikkel’s voice filled my mind. “This moment, the way you are, unashamed, high, freshly fucked, it’s beautiful to me. I want to capture that in its purest form. And I’ll never forget it because it’s right here.”
His words were so true. I may change, but the picture never will.
For someone who was only with me for a short period of time, Mikkel would stay with me forever.
Ever since I was a young girl, my heart had belonged to Collin. But I had been willing to risk that love for the chance of another. Sometimes I wondered if Mikkel were still alive, would I have chosen to stay with him, even after I found out I was pregnant.
I didn’t know, nor would I ever know. Because if was a dangerous word to hang onto and I wasn’t Alice. I didn’t chase rabbits down holes labeled with if.
Taking out the rest of the pictures, I left them to lean up against their cases. They were a part of me, and I did not want them tucked away. I wanted to live out loud, unhindered, like Mikkel. I needed to build joy from my imperfections and live tall in my pain—it was the root of all happiness. My past was becoming my future; irrevocably proving how some dust never settles.
When I left the house, I had one more place I wanted to stop: The Memorial Cemetery.
This was particularly hard for me because I hadn’t been here since the day I buried my mother. I used to tease her about having empty nest syndrome. Little did I know, I would be the one missing her.
I held my coat close to me as the wind blew the leaves that crunched under my feet.
The grass had grown in lush and green over her grave as if it had never been disturbed. There was a lovely angel headstone with its head looking downward and hands splayed out.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I could see her in my mind’s eye—her face, her smile, her dark hair cascading around her face.
“Mama, I have so much to tell you.”
One Month Later
“What is this?” Collin asked holding up a NoseFrida box.
“It’s a snotsucker.”
He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the picture. “How does it work?”
I smiled, shaking my head. Poor critter, he had no idea what was in store for us. I took the box from him and opened it. Pulling out the tube and attachment, I put the pieces together and gave a brief demonstration.
“You mean to tell me you’re going to suck snot out of her nose through your mouth?” he asked appalled.
“None of it gets in your mouth, silly. There is a filter that stops it. It’s very hygienic.”
“No way in hell, Granger. That’s gross.”
“Just wait. When it’s your child, it’s different,” I said putting it back in the box.
We were organizing all the gifts I’d received for my baby shower last week. It didn’t take long for me to figure out Collin was more of a hindrance than a help, seeing that he was fascinated by all the baby gadgets.
“Where is the breast pump you got? I want you to demonstrate how that works,” he said with a mischievous look in his eyes.
“I bet you would like that, wouldn’t you?”
“I could help you take your shirt and bra off if you need me to.” He leaned forward and planted a sweet kiss on my lips.
Gently pushing him away, I told him to go start dinner and stop distracting me.
“Are you sure? I could always—”
“Scram!” I giggled. “I’m going to be hungry before too long anyway and you don’t want to make me wait.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” His knees popped as he stood up from the floor. “You’re like a raging T-Rex when you don’t eat on time these days.”
“Exactly. So, get to it,” I warned, watching him stroll out the door.
I looked around my daughter’s room. It was pink, frilly, and whimsical. Of all the rooms in the house, this one was my favorite. I couldn’t wait to hold her, rock her to sleep, or hear the first cry she made when I brought her into this world.
I was choosing to have her in the same hospital that I was born at in France. It was important for me to pass my French heritage to my daughter as my mother had done for me. If she were here, I know it would be what she would have wanted. She would have been a doting grandmother, spoiling my daughter at every turn.
Her picture sat on the Walnut dresser across the room, waiting to watch over her granddaughter. “Not too much longer now, Mama,” I whispered.
A little while later, lured by the scents of food and a growling stomach, I came downstairs. We had moved in a little over two weeks ago. Well, the movers moved us in, and my designer delegated where everything went. I merely showed up once everything was picture perfect. It wasn’t a ten thousand square foot home in an affluent neighborhood, but it was ours. It still had the new house smell to it, which aggravated my heightened sense of smell, but I was getting used to it.
I was lost in my thoughts as I walked through the living room, when I felt a pair of arms come around me. Collin nuzzled my neck as he nibbled on my ear. “Dinner is ready.”
I leaned my head back against him as his touch sent tingles up my spine. “Mmm, I might not be hungry now.”
“Does that mean I can talk you into a quickie before dinner?”
“You can try.”
Accepting my challenge, he turned my chin upward, enveloping me in a kiss. Sighing, I turned around into his embrace.
I never took for granted the way it felt to love and be loved by him with no inhibitions. Sometimes, I woke up terrified that it would all be gone because I was so happy. But I had to be stronger than my fear. I had to trust in the love this man had for me. That no matter how far life would push me, he would always be there to pull me back.
Reaching under my dress, I pulled my panties down. The blinds were open, but I didn’t care. I earned my place in line for this. Collin situated himself on the couch, and in a fluid movement, he pulled his erection from his pants.
Straddling his legs, giving him my back, he guided me down onto him. Leaning forward, I put my hands on his knees, unashamed to act on my desperate craving. I could feel him everywhere as I moved my hips in a circular motion. He mumbled something inaudible, and I smiled in satisfaction as I dug my toes into the floor.
Collin lifted my dress, taking a moistened finger, he applied mild pressure to my backside. I sucked in a sharp breath as he slowly inserted it. It hurt, making me tense at first. But I found myself relaxing to the gentle in-out motion—the pleasure outweighing the pain.
The sensation of him in my pussy and my ass at the same time, made me want to scream so I could release this intensity roaring inside of me. I rode him, weak with tension, and I wasn’t sure if I could continue to hold myself up as I melted around him. It felt like a planet was going to burst inside of me.
My legs began to quake from the consuming climb my body was chasing as Collin pushed harder. My heart was pounding in my ears as his free hand went under my dress, pulling the cup of my bra down to finger my nipple.
“Jesus, fuck me, God,” I gasped as my fingers rubbed my clit. And for the next few minutes, nothing else mattered to me as we came together.
The world could go one way; but I, Granger Cariou, would always go with Collin Stadlen.
Epilogue
One month before Granger was due, we flew out to Dinard and re-opened Maison du Rivage to wait out the baby. Then, on a stormy night in May, Bellamy Marcella Stadlen was born, and my life changed forever.
She’s five now and a miniature Granger. If she asks for something and I say no, she does this thing where her bottom lip quivers and tears brim in her eyes. It gets me every time because as soon as I say yes, the tears are magically gone, and I know I have been swindled.
I’m blessed to have my hands so full. They are my whole world, the air in my lungs. Granger is my inhale, and Bellamy is my exhale. I could not have one without the other.
I smile to myself as I walk up the snow-covered sidewalk to our house with my suitcases in tow. I work out of town more than I would like these days. But it’s worth it to know that I can provide for my family. My business has grown so much in the past three years that I had to take on two protégés to help shoulder the load.
When Granger isn’t chasing Bellamy around, she dedicates herself full-time to charitable and nonprofit organizations. About six months after the baby was born, she went to Norway and visited the places Mikkel’s foundation sponsors. Now she spearheads We Dream Too alongside his sister, Bibiane.
Taj’s secretary, Phyllis, retired almost four years ago, and he was crushed. But not for long, as Granger cleverly suggested that he hire Bibiane to fill the position. It turns out, Bibi did a little more than fill a job opening, she filled his thoughts as well. As a result, Noa and Taj had a very public split, and Bibi’s girlfriend moved back to Norway. But everything worked out the way it should because Taj and Bibiane are set to have a spring wedding next year. Who would have thought it?
After constant nagging from Granger, Kristen and Garrett bought the vacant house next door to ours. As a wedding gift to them, I did a full restoration on it before they moved in. Now that Kristen has had the twins, Brexsen and Nolan, Bellamy gets to see her cousins almost every day. And of course, Granger loves having her sister so close. Plus, it’s free childcare next door when we want to have a date night. In fact, I’ve enlisted her services this evening because I have a surprise for Granger.
Turning the key in the lock, I step in from the frigid February cold. Closing the door, I kick off my shoes, set my bags down and hang up my jacket.
I follow the sounds of my daughter screaming like she’s dying. This could only mean one thing: she’s getting her hair brushed.
Sure enough, Granger is on the floor by the roaring fire trying to keep Bellamy still as she combs her hair. I could see the big crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks; she’s so dramatic.
Neither one of them sees me until I speak. “Belly, what are all those tears for?”
Her head snaps up, and she abandons her post as she barrels toward me. “Daddy!”
Catching her up in a bear hug, I kiss her salty cheeks. “Hey, baby doll.”
“Did you bring me a surprise?” she asks with big eyes.
“Maybe. Have you picked up all your toys in your room?”
She shakes her head no.
“Well, go clean them up, and we will see what Daddy brought home for you,” I say, setting her back down.
She dashes off and disappears upstairs.
Turning my attention to Granger, I see that she looks tired but beautiful as she waits for my approach. She gazes at me with dreamy eyes and a smile. “I love when you come home early and surprise me.”
I extend my hand to her. “I know you do.”
Putting one arm under her round stomach, she grabs mine with the other as I effortlessly hoist her up to my side.
“Before long I won’t be able to get down there anymore.”
“I’m surprised you’re still trying.”
Ahmaliya is due in April, and we can’t wait. Baby things have already started to pop up around the house again. The new nursery is already perfectly staged with things she will never use.
