Kismet, page 2
He snickered at my sarcasm. “Really? Because you don’t look like it.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Is my mom not coming back?”
“They’re all having lunch at the lodge. I told them I’d swing by and check on you.” He unzipped his bibs, tossing them on the floor beside his boots. “Now that I see you’re still on death’s door, do you have any last requests?”
“Yeah. Fuck off.”
Collin let out a low whistle. “Cariou, I swear, the older you get, the meaner you get. I sure hope you’re nicer to Oliver than you are to me.”
“Of course, I am. He isn’t an insignificant asshole like you.”
Lies.
If he was an apple, I’d be Eve. But unlike Eve, I would never be able to taste the forbidden fruit.
“I feel for him.” Collin lowered his muscular frame to the cushion next to me. “Seeing that I am practically your older brother, I feel obligated to let him know what he is getting himself into.” His shoulder brushed mine as he adjusted to a comfortable position causing my mind to become dizzy with excitement. He sat Indian style with his knee touching mine as he rubbed his hands together, warming them up.
Trying to ignore his closeness, I continued our banter. “Yeah, well, I don’t see any girls beating down your door for a piece of you either.” But deep down I knew they were; Collin always had a girlfriend. Beautiful girlfriends.
He tilted his head and appeared thoughtful for a moment, then he spoke. “Sorry, I had to do a mental headcount, when you’re as good looking as me, it’s hard to keep up with them all.”
I stuck my index finger in my mouth and made a barfing noise. “Whatever.”
He patted my shoulder. “It’s all right, Cariou. Someday, maybe more than one boy will actually be interested in you.” He threw his head back and howled at his joke.
Collin’s tongue was a double-edged sword. No matter how quick I thought my wit was, his was faster. He really had a knack for making me feel subpar. Or maybe it’s because it’s coming from him that it makes me feel that way? After all, if Taj had said something like that, I would have laughed in his face, responding with something equally vicious. But with Collin, it left me downcast, borderline inferior.
“All jokes aside though,” he said, his expression becoming serious. “When those little fuck boys come knocking, Taj and I are going to run them off.”
“Are you going to run Oliver off too?” I challenged as his threat warmed me from head to toe.
“Pfft. He’s harmless.”
“He and I have kissed you know.”
“You two better not be kissing on the lips; both of y’all’s braces are going to get stuck together.”
I gave him a skeptical look. “Col, that doesn’t happen.”
“How would you know? Are you kissing that boy on the lips?”
I shrugged. Even though I wasn’t, he didn’t know that.
“Granger Adeline Cariou, are you?”
Remaining nonchalant, I ignored him, focusing my gaze on the fire.
“Okay, I see how it is.” He nodded. “It’s all right, I’ll just ask Oliver when I see him later. He and I are becoming good friends you know, so I have no doubt he will tell me.”
“You leave him alone—it’s none of your business.” I felt embarrassment starting to creep up inside me. If he asked Oliver, he would know I was lying and then he would tease me until the end of time. Because that is what Collin did, treated me like his little sister—nothing more.
Past / Age 14
“Peu d’amour!”
God, my mother could be so friggin’ aggravating.
This was like the tenth time she had called for me to come do something today and I was getting irritated. I was still trying to get myself situated from moving all my stuff into Taj’s old bedroom. It had more space and a larger closet in it than my other one. Plus, even though the bathroom was connected to Collin’s old room, it had a double vanity for all my makeup and a large soaking tub. And it’s not like Collin ever stayed here anyway, so basically it was like having my own en suite.
Tossing the poster I was trying to hang onto the bed, I opened my bedroom door. “What?” I hollered.
“Can you come downstairs, s’il vous plaît?”
I rolled my eyes letting out a groan. I didn’t feel like walking all the way down there again. Call me a lazy fourteen-year-old, but that’s exactly what I was. Bratty and lazy. “Do I have to?”
Standing in my doorway, I waited for her reply, but I didn’t get one. Sighing, I resigned myself to go see what she wanted this time. “Coming!” I started down the hallway when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. To my surprise and delight, I saw a face that I was not expecting.
Collin Stadlen’s.
“What in the world?” I was unable to keep the shock from my voice. Oh my God. How do I look? Do I look okay?
“Hey, Cariou.” He smiled that gorgeous smile that jelloed my insides. “I was in town and so is the State Fair and I wanted to see if my favorite little sister wanted to go?”
My favorite little sister. When would I ever stop expecting more and start accepting less? Then optimism took hold. Beggars couldn’t be choosers; I would take what I could get. And right now, I could get Collin, to myself, for a whole evening at the fair. “Are we going to ride every ride?”
“Until one of us barfs.”
“You’re on.”
“So, what’s going on in the world of Granger Cariou these days?”
Well, it still revolves around you and not the sun…
“I’m on the girls’ softball team this year.”
He handed the vendor some bills and gave me the giant fluff of pink cotton candy. “Oh, yeah? What position?”
“Catcher. And oh my gawd, it makes my thighs and calves burn like hell.”
“You’ll get used to it. Have you been hit with the ball yet?”
I stuffed a wad of cotton candy in my mouth. “All the time. Our pitcher sucks at throwing and apparently I suck at catching.”
He laughed, casually draping his arm around my shoulder. “We should practice while I’m in town. I can give you a few pointers.”
“Really? You would do that?”
“Sure. You know I played in high school, and I’m home for a couple weeks. I would love to help you out. But just know I’m not going to go easy on you.”
“When have you ever?”
“Good point. See, Cariou, I knew you weren’t as dumb as you looked.” He flashed me a wicked smile right before I landed him a hard elbow punch in the gut.
Doubling over, he gasped, his arm dragging my head down with him. The action caused our faces to become so close, I could feel his breath on my face. Wincing, he looked at me in shock as he straightened his stature, rubbing his abdomen. “Goddamn! Not so hard next time.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t hit you somewhere else for that comment.” I knew he was only joking, but it hurt to hear it just the same. For once, I wanted him to say that I was pretty or cute, but he never did.
“Oh, so now I’m supposed to be grateful you didn’t bust my balls?”
“Just know I’m not going to go easy on you,” I gloated, rubbing his words in his face.
“Still mean as ever. No wonder Oliver broke up with you.” With his arm still resting on my shoulder, he guided my body toward the line for the Ferris wheel—our hips bumping together as we walked.
“Correction. I broke up with Oliver, thank you very much. And it was because we started going to different schools and I never had time to see him. Not because I was mean.”
That, and he started to expect things from me that I was not ready to do. I had been fine with us kissing and holding hands or closing our bedroom doors to lie on the bed together, but nothing more. Then, one day, he stuck his hands down my pants, trying to finger me, and I broke up with him.
I might read about sex in magazines and see it on TV or hear other girls at school talk about their sexcapades, but I simply wasn’t ready to do those things with guys yet.
“Are there any other boys looming on the horizon I should know about?”
Just you.
I shook my head.
“Good.” He took my hand and helped me into the gondola. “Because you deserve the best.”
Oh, Collin, if you only knew, you are the best.
My heart pounded as I sat down on the worn, green bench as he climbed in next to me. The right side of my body was pressed snuggly against his as the space confined us. I didn’t know where to put my hands, so I left them in my lap, nervously clinging onto my cotton candy.
The ride operator closed the door to the gondola and seconds later it jerked upward. It gradually climbed higher as they loaded more passengers aboard, and when it was full, it began to turn freely.
The sun had almost completely sunk behind the horizon, leaving a few rays of oranges and pinks. Music floated in the background, and from atop our rotating perch, I could see the fairgrounds lit up from all the lights of the other rides.
The October breeze whipped around us, but there was just enough warmth radiating from his body to mine to ward off the chill. Even if it was only going to last a few minutes, it felt like we were in our own little world. At least I am, anyways.
I looked over to his handsome face and smiled. In my mind, this moment felt magical to me.
Collin returned it with one of his own. “Having fun?”
“I am. Thank you for taking me.”
“Who else would I ask to go except the Ride Master Cariou?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “Come on, let’s take one of those selfies you’re so fond of.”
“Oh, God, no.” My hand automatically went to my hair at a feeble attempt to tame it. “I look awful,” I said my self-consciousness kicking in.
Collin’s eyes looked my face over. “You look cute,” he said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Like you’ve been having a good time.”
His praise had me melting like butter on warm bread. That was possibly the first genuine compliment he had ever given me. Biting my lip, I tried to calm the butterflies that were twirling in my stomach. Afraid that the euphoria I was feeling was obvious, I hid behind my sarcasm. “Well, what are you waiting for, Col. Take the picture already.”
Past
Since I had some spare time on my hands, I thought I might be able to give Granger a few pointers for softball. I called her mom ahead of time and asked if she would mind if I picked her up from school after her conditioning practice.
Without hesitation, Marcella said yes, telling me that Granger needed all the help she could get.
It felt good to dig out my old gloves and balls from the garage. They hadn’t seen the light of day since I graduated. Loading them in my truck, I headed down to Granger’s Catholic prep high school.
It was odd to be out here, watching her play ball, when it seemed like yesterday she was a little girl hollering my name from the sidelines when it was my turn at bat.
Now she was fourteen and growing up, fast. I noticed as much when I took her to the fair the other night. Her clothes were tighter and shorter than I last remembered, amplifying the areas of her body that were beginning to fill out. The hairstyle she sported, mimicked the ones of girls older than her and gradually, more makeup was painting her face. That gangly little girl that I adored picking on, was giving way to a young lady with piercing eyes and a beautiful face. I couldn’t help but think that in a few short years, Marcella and Ghabi were getting ready to have their hands very full. I didn’t envy them in that aspect, but I would probably be the first to kill a bastard that broke her heart. That much I knew.
“Cariou!” I heard the coach shout, drawing me out of my thoughts. “Relax your arm and keep your eyes on the ball!”
“Kinda hard to do that when the ball is all over the place, Coach.”
I gave a silent chuckle. Her appearance might be changing, but her tongue wasn’t.
“Smart off again, and you’ll give me three miles. Understood?”
She didn’t say anything, but judging by her rigid posture, she was ready to rip on her coach.
With her back to me, she squatted once again, assuming her position behind the home plate, totally unaware I was here. Which was fine; it allowed me to see where her skill set was and where I could help her later.
The pitcher, who I came to identify as Sims via the back of her jersey, was inconsistent, to say the least. And it dampened Granger’s ability to catch the ball. Basically, it was a complete shit show out there.
Sims wound her arm up again, releasing another rogue ball, and this time it was headed straight for the dirt. Granger dropped to her knees, trying to catch it, but she wasn’t fast enough, and the ball struck her elbow. Immediately, she was on her feet, flinging her helmet on the ground.
“Seriously!” she roared. “Are you fucking blind, Bridget?”
“Three miles. Now!” her coach barked.
“This isn’t fair, she is the one who hit me!”
“Four miles!” he countered, upping the ante.
She let out a shrill noise and peeled off her body protection, letting it drop in a pile before breaking out into laps around the field.
About thirty minutes later when she finished half-assing her four miles, I headed down to the well-manicured turf to catch her before she headed to the showers.
She stood with her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath when she finally saw me strolling up to her.
Apparently shocked to see me, her eyes widened. “What are you doing here?”
I shrugged. “Watching you dodge balls.”
She scoffed at my observation. “I was lucky she didn’t knock me out.”
“Not like it would have done any real damage.”
“You’re such an asinine jerk.” She pulled the tail of her shirt free from her pants, wiping her forehead with it. The creamy skin of her stomach peeked out for just a moment before she let the fabric fall back to her waist. “Really though, what are you doing here?”
“I told your mom I would pick you up. I thought maybe you would want to practice with me a little. That is, if your coach and Sims haven’t worn you out.”
The sarcasm in her face vanished, her tired features lighting up at my suggestion. “Um… yeah, just let me shower and change and I’ll meet you out front.”
By the time Granger emerged from the main entrance, it was already dark, and we weren’t going to get any practicing in tonight. But there was still time to get a bite to eat or walk the shops downtown. I flashed my headlights, letting her know where I was parked as I unlocked the doors.
She bounded up to my truck, throwing her stuff in the back before hoisting herself in the front seat. Her face was clean, without any makeup, and her hair that had been pulled back into a sweaty ponytail earlier, now fell fresh around her shoulders.
She leaned to the side, tugging her seatbelt on and as she did, I caught a whiff of apples. It infiltrated my senses as my eyes roamed all the way down to her bare legs. They had a fading tan left over from the summer sun and that space between her thighs looked soft and smooth.
What the fuck, Collin? I immediately tore my eyes away and brought them back to her face just as she looked up.
Her eyes met mine with a calm, unassuming look; she smiled, utterly naïve to what just passed through my mind. “Thanks for waiting for me.”
I cleared my throat. “No problem. Are you hungry?”
“God, yes! I’m so hungry, I could eat a whole cow.”
And she wasn’t kidding either. When we went to Burgers and Doughnuts, Granger plowed through two cheeseburgers, fries, and a handful of doughnut holes.
She leaned back in the booth across from me, cradling her stomach. “Dear God, I am so full. Why did you let me eat so much?” she asked with regret etched on her features.
“I tried to tell you.” I grabbed the last fry out of her basket and popped it in my mouth. “But if I’m not mistaken, you said, and I quote, Col, I’ve got this. Now look at you. You’re going to make me strain my back trying to carry your ass out of here.”
She slurped her soda with a smile, catching the end of the straw between her teeth. “There’s no way you can pick me up.”
I grunted, my eyes scaling her up and down. “Please, Cariou, I could take you with the flick of my wrist.”
Her smiling facial expression didn’t change at my challenge, but something in her eyes did, and it wasn’t humor either. It was something different, something I had never seen in them before. It was almost as if they were screaming for me to touch her. And for a second, I felt my world spin as I wondered what that would feel like.
Will her skin be as soft as it looked?
Then, as quick as the thought came—it went. I wanted God to heap fiery coals upon my head for thinking such a thing. Never would I ever touch her. Never. I was repulsed at myself for letting such a thought even enter my head.
Not only was I too old for her, but Taj was my best friend and she was his sister. Not to mention, the Bashara’s put a roof over my head for two years. I hadn’t needed them to; my grandparents left me well provided for financially when they passed. But they opened their family and home to me nonetheless, and I could never break that trust.
Her eyes held mine for a moment longer, then they were gone as she averted her gaze to somewhere else in the restaurant.
For the first time in the fourteen years I’d known Granger, I felt uncomfortable. Not because of what I saw in her eyes but because of what my eyes saw in her.
After we left the restaurant, Granger kept the conversation light, sneaking a few jabs and puns in. If she picked up on my unease, she didn’t let on. I was grateful because I needed to sort out why my mind went where it did tonight.
When I dropped her off back home, Ghabi asked me to stay for a drink and a cigar on the patio. I welcomed the gesture because I needed something to help clear my mind and alcohol was good for that.
