Guarded, page 19
Her eyes darken at the challenge, and she nods before giving me a short, wet kiss. She pulls away, propping herself up with her hands resting in the middle of my chest. At first, she doesn’t move; but just as I start to lose my patience, she runs her teeth over her bottom lip and tells me, “We’ve never done this before. Don’t laugh, okay?”
A smirk plays at the corner of my mouth as I move my hands from behind my head and rest them on her thighs. “There’s nothing funny about a woman who isn’t afraid to take what she wants.” She nods, but her lack of confidence causes her to hesitate. I clap my hand against the side of her ass and she gasps, then moans, her eyelids drooping as she stares down at me. “Ride, baby.”
“Okay,” she whispers, finally thrusting her hips forward.
She starts slowly, and I let her get a feel for it, running my hands up and down her sides in encouragement. I know when she starts to feel more comfortable as she grinds down on me harder. When she stops gliding her hips and starts bouncing them, a small, proud smile spreads across my face.
I’m completely captivated by her as she surrenders to her body’s needs. Pushing herself completely upright, she uses her legs to lift and lower her pussy over me. My dick grows even harder as I watch her raise her arms over her head, her hands reaching back to lift her hair away from her neck. With her in control, her rhythm and pace is gentler than what we’re accustomed to, but I don’t mind. Not yet, at least. She feels good. With the perfect view of her bare tits and narrow waist in front of me, I’ve got nothing to bitch about.
“Lee,” she whines, her head tilted back as her eyes fall closed. “Lee, touch me. Please—touch me.”
Fuck. I like it when she begs.
Wishing to play with her a little before I make her come, I reach for her breasts first. As soon as my hands are cupped around her, massaging her soft flesh, she drops her hands to take hold of my wrists. Leaning into my touch, she thrusts her hips forward with a new sense of urgency. I pinch both of her nipples simultaneously, and she moans, her grip around me tightening as her movements become frantic.
“More. Shit, Lee—you feel so good. Give me more—I want more.”
A wicked grin tugs at my lips as I’m once again reminded of all the ways in which I possess this woman. Even when she’s in control, she begs for more of me. She knows as well as I do that I am the one who will see to her needs. I’m the one in charge of her pleasure. I’m the one that’ll get her off, every damn time.
“Please!” she cries, her nails digging into my skin as her gaze locks with mine, her eyes on fire with her hunger.
Her desperation breathing fresh life into my own need, I don’t waste any time giving her what she wants. Letting go of one of her tits, I reach down and pinch her clit. She immediately sucks in a sharp breath, her hips jerking in small, erratic movements as her cunt clamps around my cock. Before she’s even had a chance to recover, I sit up, grabbing hold of her ass in one hand, holding her to me as I start to shift.
She claps each of her hands around the back of my neck as I flip us over. She lands on her shoulders—her hair going everywhere, and her knees pressing into my hips. I kneel on the bed, one hand still gripping her ass, the other planted on her pillow. I pound into her relentlessly, staring into her big, blue eyes as I grit my teeth in concentration. It doesn’t take much to bring forth my own climax, and I plant myself deep, digging my fingers into her tight ass as I spill my release inside of her.
Breathless, I ease her down onto the bed before dropping myself onto my back beside her. I stare up at the ceiling as I take a few deep breaths, then turn my head to look at Jill. She smiles at me drowsily, curling up on her side before she murmurs, “Good morning.”
Chuckling, I reply, “Fuck yeah, it is.”
She giggles, and the sound goes straight to my gut. I lift my arm in silent invitation, and she’s quick to eliminate what small distance was between us as she curls around my side, hitching her leg over mine.
“Are you hungry? I could make us breakfast.”
“Yeah, baby. In a minute.”
I drape my arm around her shoulders, and she hums a contented sigh, snuggling deeper into my side. This—what she’s giving me now—it’s hers. It’s Jill. For the first time in a long time—for the first time in a lifetime—whatever this is, I’m not pushing it away. It feels good. She feels good.
Fuck, she feels good.
Four more days. It’s not enough. It’s never enough.
I SCRUB THE pot in soapy water slowly, as if the longer it takes, the longer this day will be—and that’s what I want. I want this day to never end. When it ends, tomorrow will dawn, and Leo will be gone. After the week we’ve had, just the thought of him leaving makes me miss him, even while he’s sitting in the very next room.
With him being in Dillon, we’ve had as close to a normal week as possible for us. I still had work, but with the shop hours allowing me to leave by late afternoon, I spent the rest of my time in his company. For the most part, we stuck around town. A couple evenings, we didn’t even bother leaving my apartment at all, deciding we were more interested in each other than anything else. Today, dad offered to cover my shift, and Leo and I packed a picnic lunch before heading to Breckenridge to do some hiking. It was the most beautiful day, and I could tell that Leo appreciated being out on the long trail.
Now, as I clean up after dinner, I can’t help but think about what will happen next. The truth is, I’ve been avoiding all thoughts regarding the distant future—not just since his trip out here, but since I boarded that plane headed home after my first trip to Nashville, right after he added his number to my phone. Since then, all I’ve really wanted was a chance to explore what could be between us. Of course, I knew long distance would be a factor, but until a few days ago, I wasn’t even sure where our relationship was going, so I wasn’t worried about the long haul.
I understand that his job involves an incredible amount of travel. The next twelve weeks will be more of a challenge, as he’ll be out of the country. Communicating with a two-hour time difference is not nearly as difficult as six, eight, or even twelve hours. Though, it’s not the twelve weeks that has me contemplative. Not the next twelve weeks, or even the ten that follow. At least when he’s back in the states the distance that separates us will feel like it usually does. But after that? When Ashley’s tour is over and they settle back into a normal routine—when Ashley and Corie move onto their land in Tennessee, I wonder what will happen then?
I know that our relationship has just barely begun, and maybe thinking about five months from now is presumptuous; but after the last few days, I really can’t help myself. What we have shouldn’t be relegated to a few short trips every couple of months. I hate saying goodbye to him. We’ve still got one night to share, and already I’m starting to feel the disappointment that comes on that first night after a goodbye—when I crawl into bed alone. We can’t be together if we’re never together.
I’m startled out of my thoughts when Leo’s arms reach around me, taking the pot from out of my hands and dropping it into the empty side of the sink. He dunks his hand into the soapy water, pulling the plug, then reaches for the dish towel that I had resting on the countertop beside me. He dries his hands, then mine, tossing the towel aside before he takes hold of my hips and spins me around. I look up at him, my heart fluttering at the sight of his devastatingly handsome face.
He really is remarkable. Even his body’s slight imperfections make him all the more perfect.
I reach up and rest my hands on his biceps as he lifts me from my feet, planting my ass on the ledge of the sink. His grip holding me steady, his eyes roam over my face. He doesn’t speak for so long, I wonder if I’m supposed to say something. Finally—
“You’re worried.”
Now it’s me who lets the silence stretch on between us. We’re in a good place. I don’t want to ruin it by freaking him out with my thoughts concerning next year! Even just thinking about it practically makes me feel a little bit clingy and overbearing. So I decide not to bring it up. Instead, I push it aside, like I’ve been doing all along, stashing it away for something to be dealt with when the time comes. I remind myself that we have to get to February before I can start feeling anxious about it.
When he scowls at me, I try and ease his mind, sliding my hands up and around his shoulders before pulling him closer. I circle my arms behind his neck as he touches his forehead to mine, and I whisper, “I just want to be with you.”
“You are,” he mutters in reply.
Nodding my head against his, I say, “I know.”
“We’ve been over this, Jill,” he grunts, lifting his head until his lips are pressed against my forehead. “I’m leaving, not walking away. You’re mine.”
Smiling, I tilt my head back until I’m looking into his eyes. Lifting my legs until they’re wrapped around him, I state, “You’re mine.”
“Nothing’s going to change,” he says, jerking his chin in a curt nod of agreement.
“I know,” I repeat.
“Then what’s there to worry about?”
I shrug as I ask, “Can’t a woman just miss her man?”
“Right here, baby,” he tells me, quirking an eyebrow. “Or do you need reminding?”
His grip around my hips tightens as he leans into me, and the sheer massiveness of his frame overshadowing mine makes me wilt against him. In the last week, we’ve had more sex than I even thought possible. I’ve come so many times, it’s hard for me to imagine that reaching the point of orgasm was ever a struggle for me. Now, as he suggests another round of play, I’m about ready to admit that I might be an addict, and I don’t even care.
Staring straight into his gorgeous blue-green eyes, I fight my smile as I nod at him.
That’s all the answer he needs.
I SIT ON the edge of the bed and watch her as she sleeps. After what her body went through last night, she could use all the rest she can get, so I let her slumber a little longer. I don’t like leaving her here. I don’t like thinking about how long we’ll be apart. I don’t like knowing that my woman will be all on her own, unprotected, for months. She’s not a child. She’s an independent person capable of looking after herself. I’m fully aware of the facts—but that doesn’t change how I feel. I protect the people that matter to me.
Life is unpredictable. It’s uncertain. It’s unfair and unjust. Life is also precious and fragile. I know all too well; and in her own way, so does Jill. Only, she couldn’t protect her mother from death. She doesn’t carry the weight of that unrelenting guilt. For that, I’m grateful. Her disposition is too kind, too sweet, too gracious. The last thing I would wish is for anything to tarnish that. It’s all worth protecting. She’s worth protecting. She fucking matters, and she’s mine now, which means she’s my responsibility—and I don’t like leaving her here.
She pulls me from my thoughts when she draws in a deep breath, bringing her hands up to rub her eyes. I watch as she then looks behind her, searching for me, only to find that I’m already up and dressed. Suddenly wide awake, she shoots up and frantically looks around the room for a clock.
“It’s almost five,” I tell her, sparing her the trouble.
She blows out a sigh, raking her fingers through her hair as her eyes find mine. “Five? Lee, you have to leave at five.”
I dip my chin in a slow nod of acknowledgement, and her face falls before she starts to scramble out of bed. As she rounds the corner of the mattress, I catch her around the waist, stopping her, from what I’m sure is a quick trip to the closet, and pulling her between my legs. She’s still naked, her hair falling down her chest, covering her tits. Wanting to see all of her, I sweep her long mane over her shoulders and down her back.
“Lee,” she whispers, her hands cupping the nape of my neck.
I lean forward, pressing my forehead against her sternum as I inhale deeply through my nose. Grazing my hands over her bare ass, I tell myself that she’ll be fine; that I have no reason to think otherwise; that I’m leaving her in a far different environment than the one I fled from all those years ago. I remind myself that she belongs to me—that no matter what, I’ll never let anything happen to her.
I lift my head at the sound of her soft sniffle, and I’m met with her teary eyes. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d cry.” She shakes her head at me before she murmurs, “You’ll write me? And you’ll call?”
“When I can,” I assure her calmly.
She looks at me with the same worried eyes she was giving me last night, and I lift my arms, snaking them around her waist as I pull her against me. It does something to me, seeing her cry, and I feel fucking crippled by it. I give her a squeeze when she hiccups, and she brushes the back of her knuckles across her wet cheeks before burying her fingers in my hair.
“It won’t always be like this, right?” she blurts out, her eyes searching mine pleadingly. “We’ll figure something out, right? We won’t always be saying goodbye, right?”
“Baby,” I grunt, sliding a hand up her spine. I grip a fistful of her hair at the base of her neck and bring her toward me as I insist, “Calm down.”
She nods as much as my hold will allow, touching her forehead to mine as she closes her eyes.
“I’m a man of my word, Jill. When I say I’m your man, I fucking mean it. You need to hear me tell you I’ve never belonged to someone the way I belong to you? Huh? Open your eyes, Jill—look at me.” She obeys immediately, and I peer into her pretty blues, my voice low and gruff when I mutter, “Never. Hear me?”
“Yes,” her voice comes out garbled, so she clears her throat and tries again. “Yes, Lee. I hear you.”
“Good.” I let go of her hair, reaching down to pinch her ass. She squeaks and I smirk before demanding, “Cover up. Walk me out. I’ve got to go.”
She doesn’t say a word in reply. Rather, she hurries off to her closet, returning less than a minute later in a pair of little cotton shorts, a hoodie, and some flip-flops. Sure that she’s still not wearing any underwear, my dick twitches at the sight of her. I’m forced to ignore it as I stand to my feet and throw my duffle bag over my shoulder. When I hold out my hand, she’s quick to take it, and together, we make our way out to my rental. I stow away my bag in the back seat and then pull my woman into my arms.
I don’t say a word. I just kiss her. I kiss her deep, taking all that I want, all that I need—memorizing the taste of her mouth, the feel of her tongue, and the sound of her moan. When she tightens her hold around my neck, I pull her in closer to my chest, groaning as she kicks up her legs and hooks them around my hips. I turn and press her against the driver’s side door, kissing her harder before I capture her bottom lip between my teeth. At the sound of her whimper, I pull my mouth from hers, both of us breathing heavy as we stare at one another.
“I’ve got to go.”
“I know,” she says, all of her limbs clinging to me tighter.
Taking a step away from the door, I turn my back to the vehicle, tapping her ass in a silent command for her to let me go. She hesitates at first, but finally unlocks herself from around me, sliding down my chest and onto her feet.
“Talk soon?” she asks, her glassy eyes staring at me hopefully.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
I sink my fingers into her hair, bringing my lips to her forehead before I mumble, “Bye, Jill.”
After I let her go, I manage to open the driver’s side door before she calls out, “Lee?”
Looking over my shoulder, I ask, “What, baby?”
“I’m really glad you came.”
Lifting my chin, I assure her, “I’ll be back.”
I don’t hesitate to climb into the vehicle, shutting the door behind me without another word. I start the engine, buckle my seat belt, shift into reverse, and then chance one last look at the distractingly gorgeous woman I’m leaving behind. She offers me a small wave, and I look away, pulling out of the parking stall, sure that if I don’t get the fuck out of here now—I’ll never leave.
From: Jill Stevens
Date: Tue, Sept. 19 at 4:38 AM
Subject: Kon'nichiwa
To: Leo Vollucci
Have you seriously only been gone a day? It feels like weeks already. Maybe because you’re a world away. How was your flight? I can’t imagine being cooped up on a plane for fourteen hours. Of course, that’s not to say I wouldn’t try it. I hear the world’s a pretty spectacular place…
I bet you’re used to long flights, huh? We’ve never actually talked about all the places you’ve traveled since you started working for Ashley. Have you been to Tokyo before? I bet Corie is so excited to be traveling with you guys.
Anyway. I just wanted to check in. I’m sure you’re completely jet lagged. What is it, like, eight at night over there already? Well, I hope you’ve had a good day. Talk soon.
Miss you.
Jill
From: Leo Vollucci
Date: Tue, Sept. 19 at 7:04 AM
Subject: Re: Kon’nichiwa
To: Jill Stevens
Japan, China, Thailand, Italy, France, UK, Spain, Ireland, Scotland Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Columbia, Canada. Don’t ask me my favorite. Tokyo is crowded, makes security more difficult, especially since this is the first time Ashley’s over here for a solo tour. Not to say it wasn’t crazy the last time we were here. Came with Britton. Bet you can guess how that was. Fans were fucking everywhere. (Shit. Not literally.)
I’m tired as fuck. It’ll pass. Got a few weeks to adjust over here. Headed to bed. Talk soon.
L
From: Jill Stevens
Date: Tue, Sept. 19 at 1:03 PM
Subject: Re: Kon’nichiwa
To: Leo Vollucci
