Paladin, page 9
Ever’s guarded expression returned, the tiniest hint of panic creeping into his voice as he asked, “Where?”
“It’s a surprise. But a good one. I think you’ll like it. Will you come?”
Ever eyed him warily. “But you’ll bring me back, right? You’re not…leaving me there, right?”
Arsen blinked at him. Bring him back? Why wouldn’t he… The answer dawned on him then, and his heart felt like it had been put through a shredder. Ever thought he was trying to get rid of him.
Arsen caught Ever’s gaze, looking him in the eyes. “I’ll always bring you back. As long as that’s what you want.”
Ever caught his bottom lip between his bunny teeth, worrying the already abused skin until it was raw. Arsen fought the urge to free it.
Finally, Ever nodded. “Okay.”
Arsen let out the breath he’d been holding. “Okay, good. Do you want to shower and get changed? I brought you some clothes to wear.” It wasn’t much. Just jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. It wasn’t freezing outside but there was a bite to the air. “Then we’ll go get breakfast.”
Ever’s brows went up as he said, “Breakfast?”
Arsen nodded. “It’s still kind of early. But if you don’t like breakfast food, the diner is open twenty-four hours a day, so their menu has many other things.”
If Ever wanted a burger at eight in the morning, Arsen would give it to him. Hell, if he wanted to order the entire right side of the menu, he’d give it to him. He was almost giddy at the idea of being all of Ever’s firsts. His brain short-circuited at some of the other firsts he could be for him.
No. That was a slippery slope.
“…devirginized the little gumdrop…”
Fucking Felix. He was putting thoughts in Arsen’s head. Thoughts that he’d been trying to stomp on for hours.
“I’ve never had breakfast,” Ever said, scooting to the edge of the bed and standing, then taking the clothes from Arsen.
Who had never not had breakfast? “No?”
Ever shook his head. “Jennika said food was earned.”
Jesus. Arsen really had killed her too quickly. “Well, she’s not here anymore. Food is a necessity and you can have whatever you want whenever you want.”
Ever’s gaze floated to a spot over Arsen’s shoulder, the wariness returning. “She said I needed to look small, helpless. They liked me better like that.”
Something cold and slimy felt like it slithered in Arsen’s belly at that statement. They. He didn’t ask who they were. Ever hadn’t explicitly stated what Jennika had done to him—let others do—but it didn’t take a genius to know she’d been selling Ever’s body, likely to pedophiles.
“You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You can eat as much as you want whenever you want. I promise. Whatever makes you happy.”
Ever watched him from beneath sooty lashes for a long moment before asking, “Whatever makes me happy?”
Arsen nodded, earnest. He needed Ever to believe him, to trust him. “Whatever you want.”
“Okay,” Ever said.
Before Arsen could even guess his intention, Ever was coming up on tiptoe and smacking his lips against Arsen’s cheek. He didn’t even have time to react before Ever was scurrying out of the room to the bathroom, leaving Arsen holding his face like he’d slapped him.
What the hell was going on in Ever’s head?
Ever was overwhelmed. He didn’t want to be. He sat in the corner booth, his eyes scanning the restaurant for any potential threats. But there weren’t any. It was just a bunch of regular looking people who didn’t pay him or Arsen any mind, at least not until Ever slipped his headphones on. Then he drew some looks, but more curious than unkind.
He didn’t want to wear them. Or he didn’t want to need them. He knew how it made him look. But the noise was too much. Dishes clattering in the open kitchen, the cooks laughing and shouting at each other, the sound of utensils on china, even the low hum of dozens of voices making small talk had his skin crawling.
He didn’t ask Arsen to turn the music on. That had to count for something, right? He just needed a way to block out the ambient noise but not Arsen.
A young girl with bright red hair in a ponytail, dozens of freckles, and a smattering of hearts tattooed next to her right eye approached the table in a powder blue uniform.
She gave Arsen a huge smile that made Ever want to bite her harder than he ever had Levi. “Hey, sexy. Who’s your little friend?”
Sexy? Was she Arsen’s girlfriend? Ever glowered at her without saying a word. She arched a brow at him like she was waiting for a response. When she didn’t get one, she turned her attention back to Arsen.
“This is Ever,” Arsen said. “Ever, this is Magnolia.” Arsen gave Magnolia a smile that made Ever contemplate stabbing her with his butter knife. Why did he have to smile at her like that? “He’s shy.”
“Oh,” she said as if that made perfect sense. “Whatcha having?”
They hadn’t even touched the menu, but that didn’t seem to matter. Arsen just started listing off food. “Eggs, scrambled and over easy. French toast. Pancakes. Waffle with butter and powdered sugar. Bacon. Sausage. Hash browns. I think that’s it. To start.”
Magnolia blinked at him. “Are you expecting others? ‘Cause this booth only holds four max and I’m not having Henry yell at me again.”
Arsen shook his head, giving Ever that look he seemed to save just for him. The one that made him feel like a rescue dog. “It’s just for us. Ever here has never had breakfast food before.”
Magnolia stared at him blankly. “What?”
“He’s never had breakfast,” Arsen repeated, but louder as if that was the problem, not his statement. His voice carried to the people sitting at the counter.
“Who’s never had breakfast?” an old man at the counter asked.
“Ever here,” Magnolia called, pointing to him. Ever shrank back against the corner of the booth.
The middle-aged woman reading a paper at the counter gave him a shrewd look. “Never ever?”
Ever shook his head.
“Well, damn,” another old man said. “He needs to try the biscuits and gravy.”
“Or the eggs Benedict,” another server called.
“Or the crispy French fritter things from New Orleans,” another said.
“Beignets, you heathen,” a dark-haired woman said without looking up from her novel. Ever wondered what she was reading.
Fifteen minutes later, plates started arriving and didn’t stop. Ever felt a little like he was under a microscope as dozens of curious patrons watched him take bite after bite, waiting for his opinion on each of their recommendations. When he liked something, they cheered, but when he didn’t, they would all make a sad sound in tandem. He tried to pretend to like things even if he didn’t, but he didn’t have a really good poker face.
“You don’t have to fake it, little one. They’re all adults. This is your breakfast, not theirs,” Arsen reminded.
Ever nodded but still continued to try to please everyone. Life was just easier when people were happy with him.
After about an hour of eating, Ever tapped out. “I can’t eat anymore,” he whispered. “Please?”
Arsen’s face grew stormy and he leaned over the table, grabbing Ever’s chin and forcing it upwards. “Are you sick? Was it too much? You didn’t have to eat it just because they brought it.”
“I’m sorry,” Ever said, chest tight.
The concern faded into the sad puppy look again. “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Sorry,” Ever said again then flushed.
Arsen asked for the bill, but Magnolia just shook her head. “It’s already been covered by your fan club,” she said, pointing to the group at the counter.
Ever felt tears spring to his eyes and, for a split second, feared he might cry. They didn’t even know him. Why would they buy him food? But Arsen hadn’t known him either and he’d still rescued him, still gave him food and clothing and shelter. Still let him sleep beside him.
Ever didn’t know how to repay him or any of them. What could he ever do to make up for eating so much food? Maybe they would let him work it off in the kitchen. He should try to get a job so he could let Arsen be.
His gaze darted to Arsen, hoping he would speak up and tell them that they could pay. But Arsen just said, “Are you sure?”
They all nodded. “Bring him back for round two next week. We made a list of stuff we missed.”
“Yes, okay. We can come back next week,” Arsen said.
They could? Ever would still be with Arsen next week? That quelled some of the unease brewing inside. Arsen stood, holding out his hand to Ever, who took it eagerly, threading their fingers together and clutching tight enough for Arsen to squeeze back like he was trying to reassure Ever.
Just touching him made things better. Arsen made everything better.
Ever kept his headphones on as they walked the block to the bus stop, waiting only a few minutes before it pulled to a stop before them, the brakes hissing like some kind of mythical creature from one of his novels or from Arsen’s game.
Arsen didn’t let go of Ever’s hand, not even to pay the fare. Once that was handled, he led him to the back, gesturing for him to sit in one of the two seats that allowed a direct view down the aisle.
“Now you can see everything,” he told him with a smile.
Once more, Ever fought back tears. Arsen thought of everything.
They rode the bus for about twenty minutes before they were deposited outside a large strip mall with fancy columns and several department stores. It was far nicer than anything in their neighborhood. Ever looked at Arsen, confused, but he just gave him another reassuring smile and then removed his headphones, settling them around his neck.
“You won’t need those here. I promise.”
Arsen guided him towards a two-story building with a wall of windows. There were books displayed everywhere. Ever’s heart galloped. A bookstore. It was a bookstore. He looked at Arsen, unable to contain his excitement. As soon as Arsen opened the door for him, he rushed inside, stopping short and inhaling deeply. It smelled different than the library.
It smelled like ink and coffee, it smelled like paper. Ever grabbed a book and fanned the pages, sniffing again, the scent like a drug to him. There were so many books. Two stories of books. He’d never been to a book store before. Jennika had taken him to the library twice, both times to make up for something horrible. But this was different.
There were books on tables and books on the walls. They were on shelves and in alcoves, and in the corner was an entire section for children with little chairs and games. Ever spun in a circle. He didn’t even know what to look at first.
When he turned to Arsen, he found him watching him with an amused look. Heat crawled up his neck to the tips of his ears. “Sorry.”
“For what, besenok?”
“I don’t know,” he wailed, bewildered.
This was all so confusing and overwhelming. He needed to get it together. He needed to act like he wasn’t too damaged to function in society. People were watching them. He shrank against Arsen, wrapping himself around his arm and resting his head on his bicep.
“I brought you here to find some books to read. I know you’re bored watching me work.”
“I don’t have any money.”
“Well, today, you have a benefactor,” Arsen said.
Ever frowned. “A what?”
“A benefactor. Someone is covering the bill for all of this. You don’t have to worry about anything,” Arsen promised, leaning down enough for Ever to feel his breath ruffle his hair.
Yeah, right. “What do I have to do for this money?”
Arsen sighed. “Nothing, besenok. Jericho and Atticus want you to have things of your own. They want you to enjoy your day. They’ll never ask you for anything, I promise. This isn’t reciprocal.”
There was nothing Ever wanted more than to believe Arsen was who he said he was. He’d never done anything to prove otherwise. But they had known each other less than a week and he was showering him with gifts and attention. All the things Jennika had done in the beginning. But Arsen didn’t feel like Jennika had. Even as a child, Ever had sensed there was something…off about her. She smiled too wide, her words were too sweet, too…sharp. Like the big bad wolf posing as Red’s grandmother. A small voice had whispered that she couldn’t be trusted. He never heard that voice with Arsen.
Arsen put his arms on Ever’s shoulders, walking him deeper into the store. “Let us spoil you today. Please? It will make me so happy to see you happy.”
Ever was having a hard time concentrating with the warmth of Arsen’s body pressing against his back. “Okay,” he managed.
Ever lost track of time. They could have been in there an hour or seven days. He moved from aisle to aisle, a sense of urgency hurrying his steps. There were so many options. He couldn’t settle for anything less than looking at them all but it was impossible.
Arsen trailed behind him. Each time Ever would say a book sounded interesting, he’d set it back on the shelf only to see Arsen retrieve it and add it to a basket he held. He wanted to protest, but he’d promised he’d let them spoil him.
Arsen insisted they get coffee at the cafe in the center of the store. Ever didn’t know what to order so he asked Arsen to surprise him.
“Is there anything you don’t like?”
“Olives,” Ever said, then blushed when Arsen gave him that puppy look.
“Have you ever had coffee?” Arsen asked.
Ever shook his head. “Jennika said caffeine gives people cancer.”
“Jennika was a liar,” Arsen said with a shake of his head.
While Arsen stood in line, Ever couldn’t resist going through his finds, looking at each book lovingly before returning it to the stack on the table. He’d found a book about vampires and one about faeries. He also found a murder mystery and something listed as a thriller.
He blushed when he looked at the two romance books he found, one between a man and a woman, the other between two men, both featuring muscled half-naked men on the covers. Arsen had assured him there was nothing wrong with reading romance novels.
Ever had taken the ones he’d wanted but had also quickly exited to the young adult section where he’d found a few more titles. He wanted to hurry home and start reading.
Arsen returned with a drink topped with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate and a cookie the size of a small plate. Literally the same size as the plate. Ever took a sip of the drink, eyes widening at the sweetness on his tongue. He couldn’t help the way he began to suck it down, stopping only when a knife of pain split his skull, causing him to wince.
Arsen chuckled. “Brain freeze. Do this.”
Ever watched as Arsen pressed his thumb to the roof of his mouth. At first, Ever thought he was joking, but did it anyway, willing to be a joke if that was what Arsen wanted. But it wasn’t a joke; it really did help. When he looked at him, relieved, Arsen placed his large hand over Ever’s smaller one.
“Drink a little slower and it won’t happen again.”
Ever gave a stilted nod as Arsen’s skin seemed to sear into him. He gave his drink a break, instead picking at the warm chocolate chip cookie, his eyes rolling in pleasure at the taste. It tasted almost as good as touching Arsen felt. That was dangerous.
Ever knew he would be sick from all the food later but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was all too yummy.
Once they finished and Arsen paid for Ever’s books, he assumed they’d head home, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, they walked a few stores down to the shop with a giant bullseye on the top. Target. Ever quickly returned his headphones to his ears.
“Why are we here?” he asked warily, uneasy with the number of people in the vast space. It smelled different there. Not bad but…chemical. And there were far more people there than at the bookstore. People pushing carts filled with groceries and children and plants and even a television.
“You need clothes, shoes, underwear.”
“Clothes?” Ever looked down at his borrowed outfit. “Oh.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to keep having to wear mine, do you?”
Yes. Arsen’s hoodie smelled like him. It smelled like his spicy soap, motor oil, and the sharp woodsy scent of his cologne. Wearing Arsen’s hoodie was like being wrapped in a permanent hug and he was already mourning the loss.
“Okay,” Ever said, dejected.
Arsen studied him closely—so close Ever made himself small, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You can still wear my t-shirts and my hoodies,” Arsen said softly. “If that’s what’s worrying you.”
Ever’s gaze slid to the floor. “Okay.”
Arsen put a hand on his back. “I just want you to have things that are just yours. Just in case.”
Those three words stabbed at Ever’s heart. In case of what? In case he sent Ever away? In case he had to leave? In case someone took him away? But he didn’t say any of that. He was being ungrateful.
Instead, he did as Arsen asked, picking shirts and jeans and a few hoodies as well as socks and underwear, pajamas and soap. Arsen wouldn’t let him see the total of their purchases and insisted on carrying all the bags, not only to the bus but several blocks back to the apartment.
It wasn’t quite dark when they returned, but it was dinner time. Ever refused to eat. He couldn’t. His stomach was already churning. Arsen said it was fine but insisted that he take another shower with his own things and then put on his new comfortable clothes.
As always, Ever did as he was told. His clothes were comfy. The pants were soft and thin with navy and white stripes, the shirt just a plain white tee but one he wasn’t swimming in. Even so, he took a seat on Arsen’s bed, picking up his zippered hoodie from the night before and slipping it on, bringing it to his nose and inhaling deeply.
He grabbed one of his books from the bag sitting on the edge of the bed—the romance novel—and curled up in the corner where he usually slept, opening the book and reading the first paragraph.
He didn’t remember falling asleep but he must have, because when he woke, the room was cast in shadow, the only light coming from the street light outside. Ever’s pulse shot up, leaving him a little breathless. He wasn’t afraid of the dark necessarily, but he didn’t want to be in it alone. He quickly exited the room, his heart rate slowing as he entered the family room where the lights burned bright.
“It’s a surprise. But a good one. I think you’ll like it. Will you come?”
Ever eyed him warily. “But you’ll bring me back, right? You’re not…leaving me there, right?”
Arsen blinked at him. Bring him back? Why wouldn’t he… The answer dawned on him then, and his heart felt like it had been put through a shredder. Ever thought he was trying to get rid of him.
Arsen caught Ever’s gaze, looking him in the eyes. “I’ll always bring you back. As long as that’s what you want.”
Ever caught his bottom lip between his bunny teeth, worrying the already abused skin until it was raw. Arsen fought the urge to free it.
Finally, Ever nodded. “Okay.”
Arsen let out the breath he’d been holding. “Okay, good. Do you want to shower and get changed? I brought you some clothes to wear.” It wasn’t much. Just jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. It wasn’t freezing outside but there was a bite to the air. “Then we’ll go get breakfast.”
Ever’s brows went up as he said, “Breakfast?”
Arsen nodded. “It’s still kind of early. But if you don’t like breakfast food, the diner is open twenty-four hours a day, so their menu has many other things.”
If Ever wanted a burger at eight in the morning, Arsen would give it to him. Hell, if he wanted to order the entire right side of the menu, he’d give it to him. He was almost giddy at the idea of being all of Ever’s firsts. His brain short-circuited at some of the other firsts he could be for him.
No. That was a slippery slope.
“…devirginized the little gumdrop…”
Fucking Felix. He was putting thoughts in Arsen’s head. Thoughts that he’d been trying to stomp on for hours.
“I’ve never had breakfast,” Ever said, scooting to the edge of the bed and standing, then taking the clothes from Arsen.
Who had never not had breakfast? “No?”
Ever shook his head. “Jennika said food was earned.”
Jesus. Arsen really had killed her too quickly. “Well, she’s not here anymore. Food is a necessity and you can have whatever you want whenever you want.”
Ever’s gaze floated to a spot over Arsen’s shoulder, the wariness returning. “She said I needed to look small, helpless. They liked me better like that.”
Something cold and slimy felt like it slithered in Arsen’s belly at that statement. They. He didn’t ask who they were. Ever hadn’t explicitly stated what Jennika had done to him—let others do—but it didn’t take a genius to know she’d been selling Ever’s body, likely to pedophiles.
“You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You can eat as much as you want whenever you want. I promise. Whatever makes you happy.”
Ever watched him from beneath sooty lashes for a long moment before asking, “Whatever makes me happy?”
Arsen nodded, earnest. He needed Ever to believe him, to trust him. “Whatever you want.”
“Okay,” Ever said.
Before Arsen could even guess his intention, Ever was coming up on tiptoe and smacking his lips against Arsen’s cheek. He didn’t even have time to react before Ever was scurrying out of the room to the bathroom, leaving Arsen holding his face like he’d slapped him.
What the hell was going on in Ever’s head?
Ever was overwhelmed. He didn’t want to be. He sat in the corner booth, his eyes scanning the restaurant for any potential threats. But there weren’t any. It was just a bunch of regular looking people who didn’t pay him or Arsen any mind, at least not until Ever slipped his headphones on. Then he drew some looks, but more curious than unkind.
He didn’t want to wear them. Or he didn’t want to need them. He knew how it made him look. But the noise was too much. Dishes clattering in the open kitchen, the cooks laughing and shouting at each other, the sound of utensils on china, even the low hum of dozens of voices making small talk had his skin crawling.
He didn’t ask Arsen to turn the music on. That had to count for something, right? He just needed a way to block out the ambient noise but not Arsen.
A young girl with bright red hair in a ponytail, dozens of freckles, and a smattering of hearts tattooed next to her right eye approached the table in a powder blue uniform.
She gave Arsen a huge smile that made Ever want to bite her harder than he ever had Levi. “Hey, sexy. Who’s your little friend?”
Sexy? Was she Arsen’s girlfriend? Ever glowered at her without saying a word. She arched a brow at him like she was waiting for a response. When she didn’t get one, she turned her attention back to Arsen.
“This is Ever,” Arsen said. “Ever, this is Magnolia.” Arsen gave Magnolia a smile that made Ever contemplate stabbing her with his butter knife. Why did he have to smile at her like that? “He’s shy.”
“Oh,” she said as if that made perfect sense. “Whatcha having?”
They hadn’t even touched the menu, but that didn’t seem to matter. Arsen just started listing off food. “Eggs, scrambled and over easy. French toast. Pancakes. Waffle with butter and powdered sugar. Bacon. Sausage. Hash browns. I think that’s it. To start.”
Magnolia blinked at him. “Are you expecting others? ‘Cause this booth only holds four max and I’m not having Henry yell at me again.”
Arsen shook his head, giving Ever that look he seemed to save just for him. The one that made him feel like a rescue dog. “It’s just for us. Ever here has never had breakfast food before.”
Magnolia stared at him blankly. “What?”
“He’s never had breakfast,” Arsen repeated, but louder as if that was the problem, not his statement. His voice carried to the people sitting at the counter.
“Who’s never had breakfast?” an old man at the counter asked.
“Ever here,” Magnolia called, pointing to him. Ever shrank back against the corner of the booth.
The middle-aged woman reading a paper at the counter gave him a shrewd look. “Never ever?”
Ever shook his head.
“Well, damn,” another old man said. “He needs to try the biscuits and gravy.”
“Or the eggs Benedict,” another server called.
“Or the crispy French fritter things from New Orleans,” another said.
“Beignets, you heathen,” a dark-haired woman said without looking up from her novel. Ever wondered what she was reading.
Fifteen minutes later, plates started arriving and didn’t stop. Ever felt a little like he was under a microscope as dozens of curious patrons watched him take bite after bite, waiting for his opinion on each of their recommendations. When he liked something, they cheered, but when he didn’t, they would all make a sad sound in tandem. He tried to pretend to like things even if he didn’t, but he didn’t have a really good poker face.
“You don’t have to fake it, little one. They’re all adults. This is your breakfast, not theirs,” Arsen reminded.
Ever nodded but still continued to try to please everyone. Life was just easier when people were happy with him.
After about an hour of eating, Ever tapped out. “I can’t eat anymore,” he whispered. “Please?”
Arsen’s face grew stormy and he leaned over the table, grabbing Ever’s chin and forcing it upwards. “Are you sick? Was it too much? You didn’t have to eat it just because they brought it.”
“I’m sorry,” Ever said, chest tight.
The concern faded into the sad puppy look again. “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Sorry,” Ever said again then flushed.
Arsen asked for the bill, but Magnolia just shook her head. “It’s already been covered by your fan club,” she said, pointing to the group at the counter.
Ever felt tears spring to his eyes and, for a split second, feared he might cry. They didn’t even know him. Why would they buy him food? But Arsen hadn’t known him either and he’d still rescued him, still gave him food and clothing and shelter. Still let him sleep beside him.
Ever didn’t know how to repay him or any of them. What could he ever do to make up for eating so much food? Maybe they would let him work it off in the kitchen. He should try to get a job so he could let Arsen be.
His gaze darted to Arsen, hoping he would speak up and tell them that they could pay. But Arsen just said, “Are you sure?”
They all nodded. “Bring him back for round two next week. We made a list of stuff we missed.”
“Yes, okay. We can come back next week,” Arsen said.
They could? Ever would still be with Arsen next week? That quelled some of the unease brewing inside. Arsen stood, holding out his hand to Ever, who took it eagerly, threading their fingers together and clutching tight enough for Arsen to squeeze back like he was trying to reassure Ever.
Just touching him made things better. Arsen made everything better.
Ever kept his headphones on as they walked the block to the bus stop, waiting only a few minutes before it pulled to a stop before them, the brakes hissing like some kind of mythical creature from one of his novels or from Arsen’s game.
Arsen didn’t let go of Ever’s hand, not even to pay the fare. Once that was handled, he led him to the back, gesturing for him to sit in one of the two seats that allowed a direct view down the aisle.
“Now you can see everything,” he told him with a smile.
Once more, Ever fought back tears. Arsen thought of everything.
They rode the bus for about twenty minutes before they were deposited outside a large strip mall with fancy columns and several department stores. It was far nicer than anything in their neighborhood. Ever looked at Arsen, confused, but he just gave him another reassuring smile and then removed his headphones, settling them around his neck.
“You won’t need those here. I promise.”
Arsen guided him towards a two-story building with a wall of windows. There were books displayed everywhere. Ever’s heart galloped. A bookstore. It was a bookstore. He looked at Arsen, unable to contain his excitement. As soon as Arsen opened the door for him, he rushed inside, stopping short and inhaling deeply. It smelled different than the library.
It smelled like ink and coffee, it smelled like paper. Ever grabbed a book and fanned the pages, sniffing again, the scent like a drug to him. There were so many books. Two stories of books. He’d never been to a book store before. Jennika had taken him to the library twice, both times to make up for something horrible. But this was different.
There were books on tables and books on the walls. They were on shelves and in alcoves, and in the corner was an entire section for children with little chairs and games. Ever spun in a circle. He didn’t even know what to look at first.
When he turned to Arsen, he found him watching him with an amused look. Heat crawled up his neck to the tips of his ears. “Sorry.”
“For what, besenok?”
“I don’t know,” he wailed, bewildered.
This was all so confusing and overwhelming. He needed to get it together. He needed to act like he wasn’t too damaged to function in society. People were watching them. He shrank against Arsen, wrapping himself around his arm and resting his head on his bicep.
“I brought you here to find some books to read. I know you’re bored watching me work.”
“I don’t have any money.”
“Well, today, you have a benefactor,” Arsen said.
Ever frowned. “A what?”
“A benefactor. Someone is covering the bill for all of this. You don’t have to worry about anything,” Arsen promised, leaning down enough for Ever to feel his breath ruffle his hair.
Yeah, right. “What do I have to do for this money?”
Arsen sighed. “Nothing, besenok. Jericho and Atticus want you to have things of your own. They want you to enjoy your day. They’ll never ask you for anything, I promise. This isn’t reciprocal.”
There was nothing Ever wanted more than to believe Arsen was who he said he was. He’d never done anything to prove otherwise. But they had known each other less than a week and he was showering him with gifts and attention. All the things Jennika had done in the beginning. But Arsen didn’t feel like Jennika had. Even as a child, Ever had sensed there was something…off about her. She smiled too wide, her words were too sweet, too…sharp. Like the big bad wolf posing as Red’s grandmother. A small voice had whispered that she couldn’t be trusted. He never heard that voice with Arsen.
Arsen put his arms on Ever’s shoulders, walking him deeper into the store. “Let us spoil you today. Please? It will make me so happy to see you happy.”
Ever was having a hard time concentrating with the warmth of Arsen’s body pressing against his back. “Okay,” he managed.
Ever lost track of time. They could have been in there an hour or seven days. He moved from aisle to aisle, a sense of urgency hurrying his steps. There were so many options. He couldn’t settle for anything less than looking at them all but it was impossible.
Arsen trailed behind him. Each time Ever would say a book sounded interesting, he’d set it back on the shelf only to see Arsen retrieve it and add it to a basket he held. He wanted to protest, but he’d promised he’d let them spoil him.
Arsen insisted they get coffee at the cafe in the center of the store. Ever didn’t know what to order so he asked Arsen to surprise him.
“Is there anything you don’t like?”
“Olives,” Ever said, then blushed when Arsen gave him that puppy look.
“Have you ever had coffee?” Arsen asked.
Ever shook his head. “Jennika said caffeine gives people cancer.”
“Jennika was a liar,” Arsen said with a shake of his head.
While Arsen stood in line, Ever couldn’t resist going through his finds, looking at each book lovingly before returning it to the stack on the table. He’d found a book about vampires and one about faeries. He also found a murder mystery and something listed as a thriller.
He blushed when he looked at the two romance books he found, one between a man and a woman, the other between two men, both featuring muscled half-naked men on the covers. Arsen had assured him there was nothing wrong with reading romance novels.
Ever had taken the ones he’d wanted but had also quickly exited to the young adult section where he’d found a few more titles. He wanted to hurry home and start reading.
Arsen returned with a drink topped with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate and a cookie the size of a small plate. Literally the same size as the plate. Ever took a sip of the drink, eyes widening at the sweetness on his tongue. He couldn’t help the way he began to suck it down, stopping only when a knife of pain split his skull, causing him to wince.
Arsen chuckled. “Brain freeze. Do this.”
Ever watched as Arsen pressed his thumb to the roof of his mouth. At first, Ever thought he was joking, but did it anyway, willing to be a joke if that was what Arsen wanted. But it wasn’t a joke; it really did help. When he looked at him, relieved, Arsen placed his large hand over Ever’s smaller one.
“Drink a little slower and it won’t happen again.”
Ever gave a stilted nod as Arsen’s skin seemed to sear into him. He gave his drink a break, instead picking at the warm chocolate chip cookie, his eyes rolling in pleasure at the taste. It tasted almost as good as touching Arsen felt. That was dangerous.
Ever knew he would be sick from all the food later but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was all too yummy.
Once they finished and Arsen paid for Ever’s books, he assumed they’d head home, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, they walked a few stores down to the shop with a giant bullseye on the top. Target. Ever quickly returned his headphones to his ears.
“Why are we here?” he asked warily, uneasy with the number of people in the vast space. It smelled different there. Not bad but…chemical. And there were far more people there than at the bookstore. People pushing carts filled with groceries and children and plants and even a television.
“You need clothes, shoes, underwear.”
“Clothes?” Ever looked down at his borrowed outfit. “Oh.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to keep having to wear mine, do you?”
Yes. Arsen’s hoodie smelled like him. It smelled like his spicy soap, motor oil, and the sharp woodsy scent of his cologne. Wearing Arsen’s hoodie was like being wrapped in a permanent hug and he was already mourning the loss.
“Okay,” Ever said, dejected.
Arsen studied him closely—so close Ever made himself small, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You can still wear my t-shirts and my hoodies,” Arsen said softly. “If that’s what’s worrying you.”
Ever’s gaze slid to the floor. “Okay.”
Arsen put a hand on his back. “I just want you to have things that are just yours. Just in case.”
Those three words stabbed at Ever’s heart. In case of what? In case he sent Ever away? In case he had to leave? In case someone took him away? But he didn’t say any of that. He was being ungrateful.
Instead, he did as Arsen asked, picking shirts and jeans and a few hoodies as well as socks and underwear, pajamas and soap. Arsen wouldn’t let him see the total of their purchases and insisted on carrying all the bags, not only to the bus but several blocks back to the apartment.
It wasn’t quite dark when they returned, but it was dinner time. Ever refused to eat. He couldn’t. His stomach was already churning. Arsen said it was fine but insisted that he take another shower with his own things and then put on his new comfortable clothes.
As always, Ever did as he was told. His clothes were comfy. The pants were soft and thin with navy and white stripes, the shirt just a plain white tee but one he wasn’t swimming in. Even so, he took a seat on Arsen’s bed, picking up his zippered hoodie from the night before and slipping it on, bringing it to his nose and inhaling deeply.
He grabbed one of his books from the bag sitting on the edge of the bed—the romance novel—and curled up in the corner where he usually slept, opening the book and reading the first paragraph.
He didn’t remember falling asleep but he must have, because when he woke, the room was cast in shadow, the only light coming from the street light outside. Ever’s pulse shot up, leaving him a little breathless. He wasn’t afraid of the dark necessarily, but he didn’t want to be in it alone. He quickly exited the room, his heart rate slowing as he entered the family room where the lights burned bright.
