Paladin, page 4
Ever inhaled deeply then seemed to relax. Still, Arsen watched until his breathing evened out again. If following Arsen’s order got Ever more sleep, then in this one particular instance, it was okay. Until Arsen found that adult he needed.
Arsen finally forced himself to move, throwing on some clothes and his coveralls before heading downstairs to get the bay doors open on time. People had to work, so Jericho had a drop box for keys. By the time he made it to the shop, there were already four sets in addition to the jobs left over from yesterday. It was clearly going to be a busy day.
He walked to the back of the garage. There used to be a huge sofa and television as well as a gaming console there. Arsen and his friends had spent hours in the back of the shop, hiding from bullies, hiding from their own families. But now, that had all moved next door.
When Jericho had married Atticus, they’d pooled their money to buy the building next to the garage so Jericho’s “strays” had a safe place to sleep at night and Jericho had a place to work where he didn’t have to worry about someone accidentally lopping off a finger or losing a foot to an engine block.
The core group had never changed, but other stray kids ebbed and flowed out of the place depending on necessity. And sadly, in their neighborhood—in every neighborhood, really—there was always a need.
Arsen had considered putting Ever over there last night. He would have been safe. But a bunch of twenty-year-old sometimes killers with a penchant for caffeine, sugar, and gaming marathons wasn’t really the place for Ever. At least, not yet. He needed Arsen.
Well, that was what Arsen told himself.
He popped his headphones in and started working, losing himself in the mundane tasks of oil changes and brake jobs. When he wheeled himself out from under a ten-year-old Chevy, he stopped short, heart pounding. Ever stood there in last night’s clothes, fidgeting with the drawstring on his hoodie, nothing but socks on his feet. He scanned the place rapidly, eyes wide, like he was prepared to run if he had to.
Arsen quickly crossed to him, wiping his hands off on the rag hanging from his pocket. “You’re awake.”
Ever trapped his bottom lip between his teeth then nodded.
Arsen did his best to give him a reassuring smile. “Did you sleep okay?”
Ever shrugged, then nodded again, risking a glance upward like he was worried his answer might upset Arsen.
“Don’t feel like talking?” he asked, trying to keep his voice judgment-free.
Ever shook his head.
“Okay,” Arsen said. “Do you want me to take you back upstairs? You can watch TV?”
Ever shook his head.
“Are you hungry?”
Ever shook his head.
“Do you want to stay down here with me?”
Ever nodded.
Warmth bled through Arsen’s whole body. Ever just wanted to be near him. He trusted Arsen to keep him safe. That shouldn’t have been the high it was. Arsen shouldn’t feel drugged from it. But he did.
“Don’t move, okay?”
Ever began to gnaw on his bottom lip but nodded. Arsen took the small victory. He grabbed a stool from the counter and placed it where Ever would be safe but could still see Arsen. “Sit. I don’t want you stepping on anything sharp. It is very dangerous to be down here without shoes on.”
Ever flushed to the tips of his ears. Did that sound harsh? Was it too mean? It was hard enough thinking in Russian and speaking in English without this emotional minefield. But he would figure it out. He’d get it right. Somehow.
Ever sat on the stool, then pulled his legs to his chest, his heels resting on the stool’s edge. Arsen could never have sat that way, but Ever did it with ease, perched like the world’s cutest gargoyle, chin resting on his knees, watching Arsen as if waiting for his next instructions.
“Are you hungry?”
Ever shook his head.
“Are you thirsty?”
Ever shook his head.
Arsen grinned. “Okay. I’m going to get back to work but you tell me if you need anything. Okay?”
Ever nodded then made the okay symbol.
Arsen’s heart skipped like he’d been shocked. Fuck, Ever was cute.
He finished the oil change he was working on, but when he went to do a quick tire change, he noticed Ever was not okay. Every time Arsen fired the impact wrench, Ever would flinch, then jump, slapping his hands over his ears. Shit. He set the drill down, racking his brain. Ever wouldn’t go back upstairs without Arsen, but he had to keep working, at least until Jericho got there.
He snapped his fingers, then ran to the office, fishing through the box they kept next to Jericho’s sofa. It was called the lost and found box, but it was more a shit-people-left-in-cars-they-never-picked-up box. And Arsen had noticed something there a few weeks ago that might work for Ever.
He gave a small shout when he realized what he sought was still there. A pink pair of kid’s headphones with light-up cat ears. That would work. He grabbed his phone and synced them to his device, grateful when it showed there was still a sixty percent battery life.
He brought them to Ever and gently placed them over his ears. He then brought up Spotify. He clicked on a channel that played lo-fi music, unsure what Ever would even like. As soon as it turned on, his eyes went wide and he slapped his hands over the headphones, pressing them harder into his ears.
Arsen handed him his phone, quickly showing him how to look for music, then returning back to work. This time, when he discharged the impact wrench, Ever didn’t even notice, engrossed in his music and whatever it was he did on Arsen’s phone. Had he ever let another soul hold his cell phone? Even for a moment? No. Definitely not.
Arsen and Ever existed in the space comfortably for another hour or so, Arsen sometimes forgetting himself when he would glance at Ever. Usually, his eyes were closed and he was swaying to some song, but every once in a while, Arsen would find him attempting a new song, a new genre, a new playlist, and his facial expressions ran the gamut from confused to horrified. Arsen could spend a day just watching Ever play music.
It was almost noon when Levi walked in, stealing Ever’s attention from Arsen’s phone. He studied Levi suspiciously, his gaze tracking back to Arsen like he wanted to make sure he was close by.
Arsen didn’t blame Ever for his trepidation. Levi looked like the bad boy in a movie for teens who make poor life choices. His inky black hair was a permanent mess, he had tattoos from his jaw to his fingertips and everywhere in-between. He had several piercings along both ears, as well as a ring through his lip and another through his right brow. He wore ripped jeans, a black t-shirt, and a permanent scowl on his way-too-pretty face.
He frowned when he saw Ever. “Who’s that?”
“That’s Ever.”
Levi tilted his head. “What’s Ever?”
Arsen rolled his eyes, pointing to the boy and his cat ears. “That is. He is,” Arsen corrected.
Levi snickered. “That’s his name? Ever?”
“Yes, that’s why I said, ‘That’s Ever,’” Arsen said, shaking his head.
Sometimes, it was hard to believe he was the one who didn’t grow up speaking English.
Levi rolled his eyes like he could hear Arsen’s irritation. “Where did Ever come from?”
Arsen looked Ever over thoroughly, head tilted. “Hard to say. He speaks perfect English but has features that are present through many different ethnic groups from Eastern Asia to Central America.”
Levi sighed. “Not where is he from geographically, dude. Like, where did you two meet?”
Oh. “A job.”
“A job?” Levi parroted.
“Mm,” Arsen said. “The abuser with the fancy car. She had him.”
“Had him?”
Arsen made a noise of frustration. “Why do you keep repeating everything I say? Am I not speaking English?”
Levi smirked. “Debatable. But I’m repeating everything you say because you’re not making any sense. You found a boy at a target’s house and you just…kept him?”
That wasn’t exactly what happened. Was it? “He doesn’t have any place to go.”
“Um, foster care?” Levi asked, snapping gum that must have been in his mouth the whole time.
“Don’t let the pink cat ears fool you. He’s nineteen,” Arsen said, feeling a tad defensive.
Levi nodded. “Okay, but you can’t just…keep him. He’s not a cat you found in the bushes. Even if he kind of looks like one,” he mumbled, then said, “That’s, like, kidnapping.”
Arsen did his best to keep his tone level. “He’s an adult. And he wants to be here. He likes me. I’m relaxing. Like that drug.”
“Weed?”
“Ativan,” Arsen said.
It was a lie. At least, at present. Levi and Arsen were doing nothing to relieve the stress growing on Ever’s face. The more the two spoke, the more his anxiety spiked, until he put his hands over his headphones, pushing them against his ears once more, and closed his eyes.
Levi shook his head. “You’ve definitely been hanging out with the Mulvaney clan for too long.”
“Jericho said I could keep him,” Arsen said. It was technically a lie but he hoped if he said it with enough conviction, Levi would just believe him.
“Then he’s been hanging too long with the Mulvaney clan, too,” Levi muttered.
“Technically, Coe is a Mulvaney,” Arsen reminded him.
“You know you can’t keep him,” Levi said.
“Keep who?”
They both looked up as Jericho arrived, pizza boxes in hand.
“Keep him,” Levi said, pointing to Ever, who currently looked like the see no evil monkey.
“Coe, tell him you said he could stay here,” Arsen begged.
Jericho looked at Levi. “I said he can stay here. For now.” He then walked up to Ever and gently plucked the headphones from his ears. “Let’s eat, gatito.”
Ever looked at Arsen, only sliding from the stool when he nodded.
Please let me keep him.
Jericho felt…good. Ever didn’t know how else to explain it. Whenever he was around someone like Jennika and her friends, there was a heaviness to them. A weight that just sat on Ever’s chest, stealing his breath. It didn’t feel that way with Arsen. It didn’t feel that way with Jericho, either.
When he called Ever gatito and smiled, it didn’t feel fake or like he wanted something from him. He’d been gentle when he’d talked to Ever last night. Or was it this morning? Ever wasn’t even sure anymore. Everything sort of blurred together. Maybe it was because Arsen trusted Jericho and Ever trusted Arsen. Arsen also felt good. His energy was happy and light and bright. It was like nothing Ever had ever felt before. And he just wanted to be near it.
Whatever the reason, when Jericho beckoned him to his office for pizza, Ever started to follow without thought, placing a foot on the ground.
“No!”
Even with his headphones on, Arsen’s panicked shout startled him, making him flinch hard enough to almost fall off the stool. His heart hammered against his chest, and he closed his eyes, slamming his fingers over his ears.
Rough palms covered his hands, tugging them away gently, and Arsen’s voice carried over the headphones. “Sorry. Sorry. I don’t mean to scare you. But you can’t walk barefoot. You’ll hurt yourself. Hold on. One moment. Okay?”
Ever opened his eyes but remained frozen, afraid to move, watching as Arsen darted across the shop, disappearing behind the same magical door he had last night, this time returning with black sandals with white stripes across the top.
He kneeled before the stool and slipped them on Ever’s sock-clad feet, then grinned at him. “Okay, there you go.”
Ever looked down at the slightly too big sandals and then at the hand Arsen held out to him once he was on his feet again. He didn’t take it but looked over at Jericho, who stood in the open office door watching the two of them carefully. He stood with the other boy, the loud one who asked too many questions and looked at Ever like he couldn’t be trusted.
Finally, he took Arsen’s hand. The way the tension bled from Arsen’s face made Ever’s insides feel hot and squishy. He wanted Arsen to be who he appeared to be. He wanted to make Arsen happy. Especially if he belonged to him now. If Ever was nice, maybe Arsen would keep him? Then Ever wouldn’t have to learn anyone else’s rules ever again.
Learning Jennika’s rules had cost him a lot. His dignity. His flesh. He could do it one more time for Arsen, but he didn’t know if he could handle it a third time. The not knowing was the worst part. The second-guessing every single thought. It was exhausting. Like…standing in quicksand, afraid every movement might be the one that sank him deeper, trapped him further.
What was it that would make Arsen angry? Would he be angry enough to hit? To kick? To punch? Would he whip him? Withhold food? Sell him to others? Ever could handle anything but that. It was too hard to fake liking it. Not that they cared if he liked it. Mostly they seemed to want him to hate it, hate them.
Ever studied Arsen. He didn’t seem quick to anger. He’d shot Jennika, though—he’d said she deserved it for what she’d done to those little girls. Ever shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that…about those girls. They were so small, so helpless. He’d tried to protect them, but he was rarely allowed out of that room.
Arsen couldn’t be that bad. He felt safe. He felt warm. It made Ever long to be closer to him in a way he’d never even imagined. He didn’t like to be touched, but he’d wanted Arsen to touch him, had wanted to roll around in his scent. He’d slept so deeply in his arms and when Arsen told him to go back to sleep, he’d gotten to bury his face in his pillow that smelled like him.
Ever let Arsen guide him to the sofa in the office. When he handed him a paper plate with a piece of pizza on it, he took it, setting it in his lap. He watched as the loud one and Jericho ate, scarfing down the food like they hadn’t eaten in weeks. He looked down at his plate, chewing on his lower lip. He’d never had pizza before.
It smelled good.
Really good.
But it looked kind of…drippy.
He watched from beneath his lashes as Arsen took a slice and folded it in half, eating most of it in one bite. When he realized they were all watching him, he picked up the pizza, folded it in half and took as big a bite as he could stomach. The flavors exploded on his tongue and he couldn’t help but moan at the taste. When was the last time he’d had something that wasn’t just soup or bread?
He was used to only eating once a day, sometimes not even that much, but never food like this. It was definitely going to give him a stomach ache if he ate the whole piece but he couldn’t stop. When it was gone, he made a sad noise, then blushed when he realized they were smiling at him.
Jericho slapped another slice on his plate. He just stared at it, forlorn, then looked to Arsen, askance.
Arsen tilted his head, his pizza halfway to his mouth. “Are you not hungry, little one?”
He opened his mouth to answer then stopped. He didn’t want to answer wrong. He didn’t want to answer out loud. He hated his voice. He didn’t like the way it sounded when it left his mouth. Jennika said he sounded like a girl. That his voice was too high. Too breathy.
Besides, he didn’t know the right answer. What if he wasn’t supposed to want it. What if he wasn’t supposed to refuse it, either. He wanted to close his eyes and cover his ears and just make it all stop.
“I’ll take it.”
Ever watched as the loud boy’s hand crossed in front of him, grabbing his pizza. Ever didn’t mean to do it, didn’t even remember grabbing his hand, wasn’t aware of what he was doing until he felt his teeth digging into the fleshy part of the boy’s palm just beneath his thumb.
“Ow!” he yelped, pulling his skin from between Ever’s teeth and rubbing the spot. “What the fuck, dude? The little shit bit me.”
When Arsen crossed to him, Ever recoiled. But he just sat beside him and cupped his face. “Are you okay? Did he scare you?”
Levi gaped at them. “Is he okay? What about me? I’m the one who just got bit. I think he broke the skin.
Ever nodded, watching the other boy warily.
Arsen glared at the loud one. “You cannot just grab at him like that, Levi. He has trauma.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “We all have trauma. I just wanted pizza, too.”
“Don’t touch other people’s food,” Jericho said.
Arsen grinned at Ever, petting his cheek in a way that made Ever want to close his eyes and lean into the caress. “He’s food aggressive. I don’t blame him,” he threw over his shoulder. Then, to Ever, he said, “He scared you, huh?”
Ever nodded.
“Food aggressive. He’s a person, Arsen, not a dog,” Jericho said around a laugh.
Levi flung his arms in the air. “That is not a person. That is a feral little gremlin in a human suit.”
“Levi,” Jericho said sharply.
Arsen took the pizza from Ever’s plate and folded it, holding it up. “Can you say sorry to Levi, besenok?”
Ever chewed on his lip, glowering at Levi. Finally, he said, “Sorry.”
They all looked at him, appearing surprised.
Ever flushed, looking away.
“Bite,” Arsen said.
Ever complied without thought, letting Arsen feed him the pizza.
“What the fuck. You’re babying him, dude. He’s going to think if you bite people, you get rewarded,” Levi said, sulking.
Arsen booped Ever’s nose. “Good boy.”
Once more, warmth bled through him at Arsen’s purred compliment.
Levi made a disgusted sound. “You’re all fucking weird. I’m out of here.”
“Don’t forget you have a job tonight,” Jericho called.
“Yeah, yeah. Just keep the gremlin on a leash.”
Ever spent the next few hours watching Arsen work. Whenever he was doing something that didn’t make noise, he would talk to Ever, just keeping up a running commentary about whatever was on his mind. He talked about where he was from—Moscow, which was apparently in Russia. He talked about how he came there when he was a kid. He talked about his friends, about Jericho, how Jericho was married to Atticus and how they were thinking about fostering kids. How Atticus had five brothers. How Arsen was an only child.
