Joe cleared his throat, which was a cruel but welcome wake up call. I didn’t even dare to glance at him but based on the awkwardness in the air it seemed like Joe was as uncomfortable as I was. I rolled my weight from one foot to the other in hopes of getting some distance between us in the small space, but it didn’t help at all—the air still seemed to buzz around us. Heat started creeping up my neck, faster by the second. I hoped Joe wouldn’t notice. I still had trouble controlling my wildly inappropriate thoughts.

  Thankfully the lift door opened, and Joe stepped out, muttering something about 30 minutes. I only managed to nod to that, not finding my voice through my restricted throat.

  It was only when the lift started its ascend to the top floor, that I dared to breathe properly, and could adjust my jeans that had turned very…um…tight…all of a sudden. Once on the top floor, I walked straight to my old room, banged the door shut behind me and threw myself on the black cotton sheets of my bed, back first. A good five minutes were spent staring at the ceiling, my mind completely blank.

  What an exhausting day. Way too many turning points. Too much everything.

  I wasn’t a people person to start with, but the day had affected me more than I cared to admit. Even though I had been used to the spotlight, I had always been in the shadows of the older members of GRiD. Yet today, every single person at HQ had only noticed me.

  And after giving it a good thought, I realized something else—something far scarier. Joe, of all people, was the only damn person apart from GRiD who hadn’t reacted upon seeing my scars. He didn’t even seem to care, like he didn’t even see them at all. Not to mention he hadn’t blinked twice at my night terrors.

  It freaked me out how much I appreciated that.

  That realization terrified me maybe even more than the insane pull that rippled between us from time to time. Chemistry, lust, attraction—those things I could handle…but actual empathy and companionship…those I wasn’t so sure about. If he continued to be like that, how was I supposed to not catch actual feelings? And based on the fact that Joe had disappeared after our one night of pure passion, before I even woke up, he wasn’t really the committing kind of guy.

  Our thing was just one night, and that was it. I needed to keep that firmly in mind during Joe’s stay at my place. Maybe it had been a little too cruel to have him stay at the garage for the first night…but ultimately I shouldn’t let him get too close to me. Whatever relationship we had was to stay strictly a business relationship. Nothing more, nothing less.

  But that was a problem for later. As much as I would’ve loved to, I couldn’t stay in the old dorms for forever, so I grabbed as many clothes I thought would fit inside the small frunk of my Lambo, plus my acoustic guitar, and headed out.

  Almost

  The only downside to not living downtown was the super long commute.

  Oddly enough, one of the many upsides to not living downtown turned out to be the long commute as well. Let me explain: Because we had so much catching up to do after all the drama, Jiwoo had packed our calendars extremely tight, and on top of that it took like two hours to drive up to my home. It led to me crashing to bed, thoroughly exhausted, well after midnight, only to wake up at 5 or 6 am to head right back to work.

  The pure exhaustion…it meant no nightmares. No waking up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat, screaming. No staring at the alarm clock too afraid to go back to sleep until it was morning enough to get up. No getting myself drunk to be able to have a couple of hours of decent sleep.

  I slept like a log. For the first time in ages.

  It also meant that I barely saw Joe.

  A few days passed, following the same pattern.

  I’d get up early in the morning, well-rested for once. Then I’d head to my regular morning jog. Maybe got pissed at Joe and his more or less flirtatious remarks. Which, in turn, would turn into races or mock fights, much like the first morning Joe had been up here with me. With running, I had the advantage now that I wasn’t as fatigued as before, but the fighting… let’s just say he won.

  Every. Damn. Time.

  On the positive side, I had made Joe my housekeeper by winning the races. He did the laundry now. And cooked. Cleaned. Like a good housewife should. Except he wasn’t exactly wife material otherwise. More like a huge, flirtatious, and outrageously handsome man. It was perfect.

  Except…

  In turn, when Joe won the fights, Joe gained access to a new part of my house. Too fast for my liking, he had earned his way to my whole property. Well, apart from my bedroom. That’s where my boundaries lay. Not that he didn’t try to, though. And he was persistent, I’ll give him that. But even if it was seemingly only one of his flirty jokes, I wasn’t taking the risk and letting him anywhere near my bed. Nope.

  Not that the idea wasn’t enticing.

  Work started going…better. Most people at the HQ had gotten used to seeing my face. Maybe it helped that I didn’t sport those prominent under-eye bags and that sleep-deprived grumpy attitude. Of course, the tabloids were having a field day, spreading new pictures of my ruined face everywhere—but that also earned me sympathy points in the eyes of the public. Or that’s what the publicity team told me. Apparently we needed the media on our side to make the scandal disappear faster after Jae-beom settled the matter.

  Besides, it wasn’t like I wasn’t used to them mustering up news about everything and everyone already.

  The late evenings were quiet. Joe lingered around but gave me enough space. For some reason, he didn’t feel the need to piss me off every other second in the evenings—compared to mornings—and for that, I was grateful. It was still suspicious, but I decided to enjoy it while it lasted…despite wondering how he always seemed to know the exact moment when everything started to get too much for me to handle.

  In other words, he read me like I was an open book. Although I would never admit it out loud, those flirtatious moments in the mornings managed to cheer me up from time to time. Most likely because he also knew when to cut it and shut the fuck up.

  Our little routine lasted only for a few days, sadly, and then it was dawning upon me—the first day off. The day that I had dreaded the most after learning the nightmares ceased when I was too busy to think too much; our first day off. I had two in a row ahead of me.

  The anxiety crept up on me in the early morning as I headed to my routine morning jog. I tried to ignore it, convinced that working out would distract me enough for now.

  At least the weather was nice. Sun warmed up my cheeks, and my feet hitting the gravel on the familiar trail made a strangely pleasing sound. The sound of Joe’s footsteps still followed me as every other morning, but it was the fact that I felt his eyes on me the whole way that made me painfully aware of his existence.

  He didn’t even try to get ahead of me this morning.

  “Can you stop staring at my ass?” I said as I turned to jog backwards and face Joe.

  He gave me a big lopsided grin. “I would, but it’s too gorgeous to ignore.”

  I missed a step and nearly fell. Joe’s grin only widened. In hindsight, I had kind of asked for it. Nevertheless, I rolled my eyes and ran the rest of the way to the clearing facing forward. Maybe the cure to this nuisance of a man was simply to ignore him.

  The view warmed my heart as it always did. Seoul looked weirdly calm from up here. Slow, even. Breathing in the fresh air one wouldn’t find downtown, I leaned against the fence.

  It was peaceful.

  Until Joe randomly decided to wrap his hands around my waist and lean his chin on my shoulder. I gritted my teeth together.

  “Can you like, fuck off?” I asked, completely ignoring my already racing heart and the heat of Joe’s body pressing against my back.

  “Nope. Shortie fits here perfectly,” he muttered, not moving an inch.

  “What if I make you?”

  “You can try,” he said, and I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

  Hmph. This was how all our fights started. He would invade my personal space. I’d kick or punch him. He’d have me pinned to the ground in a span of minutes, as I didn’t have a chance against him. Why even bother?

  For once, I didn’t.

  Joe didn’t like it.

  Nope, not one bit.

  I figured as much as he yanked me off the fence, lifted me in the air, and started spinning me around. When I gasped at the sudden movement and started hissing an endless stream of curses, vision blurring, Joe only laughed.

  Hating myself for letting my guard down, I tried everything to stop him. Scratching his arms, punching his ribs with my elbows, struggling…nothing helped. I had no chance, whatsoever, against him. And my head was getting dizzy, fast.

  As a last resort, I used the momentum to swing my leg behind his knee in an attempt to make him lose his balance. Unfortunately, I succeeded and realized how bad of an idea that was a nano-second too late. Because when Joe did lose his balance, we both fell towards the bushes. Rapidly.

  Joe landed on his back, right in the middle of the bushes, still cracking up. I landed on top of him. Hard. But he barely even noticed and only started laughing harder. With another swift, skilled move of his, he rolled us around. Suddenly it was me below him, pinned against the ground. It took my head a short while to even realize what’d happened, and by then he was grinning down at me with that annoying twinkle sparkling in his golden-halo eyes.

  “Get off me!” I roared, struggling against his hold, with little to no success.

  “But I haven’t decided my prize for the day yet,” he stated calmly.

  Despite how badly I wanted to wipe that grin off his face, I could hardly move. His face was a mere inch from mine, his spearmint-gum-smelling breath fanning on my face. It made me feel even dizzier. If possible.

  “What’s with you bodyguards and chewing gum, huh?! Your breath stinks,” I spat, narrowing my eyes at him when I had recovered enough to form coherent thoughts.

  “Don’t dodge the subject, shortie.”

  So he was still talking about his reward. Ugh. Whatever.

  “Just decide for fuck’s sake, I’m crushing under here!”

  “But I’ve run out of prizes I want,” he started, faking a wistful expression. Then, his face fell straight. “Except sharing your bed.”

  “Stay the fuck out of my bedroom,” I hissed under my shortened breath. Another adrenaline rush was released within me, and I tried some more struggling, but it was of no use. I could’ve struggled for hours under him, and he wouldn’t have budged. He proved the point by laughing at me.

  “Oh relax, can’t you take a joke?”

  Holding down the urge to spit on his way too close and handsome face, I eased up with trying to wiggle out of his grip. Eventually, I sighed in ultimate defeat and gave up completely.

  “Ugh, whatever except my bedroom. Get on with it. I can’t breathe.”

  “Then… how about a kiss?”

  I froze, stiff like a statue. I could only look him in the eyes with my own eyes widened. He couldn’t be serious…or could he?

  Joe propped his whole body up, leaving me plenty of escape routes. But those damn eyes with the weird golden halo around the pupils held me nailed to the spot. I couldn’t move at all, though technically he didn’t even hold me in place any longer. My heart started thumping so fast I was sure it was going to burst.

  He leaned closer and closer, so slowly I should’ve had plenty of time to react and kick him in his nuts, or something, to escape. But I didn’t. Instead, I could only squeeze my eyes shut in hopes of waking up from this spell his eyes had cast on me.

  I didn’t wake up. My body all but betrayed me: When his chest pressed against mine, my hands automatically grabbed his waist. When his fingertips brushed my hair to the side, I shivered. When his firm thigh pressed against my crotch, all I wanted was to grind…just a little bit to create some friction…

  Soon all I could think of, was how bad I wanted him to kiss me.

  When he was so close his breath tickled my lips, my racing heart stopped beating altogether. For a moment I was sure I was going to die from the tension. Or at least faint.

  But his lips never landed on mine.

  As fast as he started it, he ended it. His weight rolled off from on top of me. I found out my body could move again and shuffled up to sit, my body already longing for his touch…his closeness. Head still spinning, I finally dared to open my eyes, only to find Joe was grinning, already standing up and was holding his hand out for me to grab.

  I eyed the hand suspiciously. “I thought you wanted a kiss?”

  “Oh, I still want that kiss…but I’d rather make you beg for it than take one by force,” he said and fucking winked.

  My blood suddenly boiling, I swatted his hand away and scrambled up. “You’ll have to wait for a long time for that to happen.”

  Joe laughed and started brushing his clothes free from the debris. “We’ll see.”

  Giving Up

  I should’ve known that it was only the beginning…that one little almost-kiss. Obviously Joe couldn’t have left it at that. I should’ve known.

  Instead, he took literally any half-assed excuse to rile me up and then win a fight. The worst part was that he knew exactly how to make me go from zero to one hundred in mere seconds. Thus, the whole day ended up being an endless fight, to the point that even the tiniest muscles in my body screamed for help by the nightfall. I knew damn well I didn’t have a chance to win any of these fights, but I couldn’t stop. He knew me too well to let that happen.

  It was exhausting, to say the least.

  To make matters worse, he no longer bothered to pretend his antics were merely flirty jokes or that this was merely a business relationship. When he had said he was going to make me beg, he hadn’t joked around. Countless times, I found myself under him, his lips almost reaching whatever goal they were aiming for each time—my lips, the nape of my neck, my cheek.

  He was a fucking tease and a half.

  My body betrayed me. There wasn’t a cell in me that wanted to cooperate with my mind and do the right thing; to say this needed to stop. Then my mind developed a habit to cease to exist and get dizzy every time my eyes met his beautiful ones. Aish, even my heart stopped beating every damn time I thought it was finally about to happen.

  And for fuck’s sake, how many times can a guy get his heart stopped before dropping down dead?!

  At the end of the day, I was so exhausted I’d face-planted on my bed, fully clothed, and fell asleep. At least I didn’t have to worry about the nightmares for another day. Positive thinking and all that jazz.

  That was how and where I woke up the next morning. My t-shirt was glued to my sweaty skin, and I had tried to get rid of the jeans as they were hanging low on my hips. The waistband pressed against my morning wood somewhat uncomfortably, so I wiggled them off and made my way under the sheets.

  The alarm clock on my nightstand informed me it was already nine in the morning, with bold red digital numbers. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to ignore it and continue sleeping, but of course, I wasn’t successful. I had to get up.

  To do what, I had no idea. It was my second day off and it was a very tempting option to stay in bed all day, but my stomach protested. Loudly. And then there was Joe behind my bedroom door, mumbling something about the breakfast.

  Oh well.

  Giving up, I scrambled up and yanked on a ruined, formerly white t-shirt that had somehow turned light pink the last time I attempted doing the laundry. And some plain black sweatpants. It was a day off, after all, so I’d have to save the non-ruined clothes for workdays.

  A wonderful smell reached my nose as soon as I walked downstairs. Apparently we were having those awesome pancakes for breakfast again, which Joe had made me the first morning. It seemed such a distant day, though it had been only a little over a week since. Eagerly, I sat down at the dining table and started piling them up on my plate.

  “You like them, hmm?” Joe asked, glancing at me over his newspaper before taking a sip from his coffee mug.

  “They’re okay,” I said and shrugged, right before dipping a huge piece in the garlic sauce and stuffing it in my mouth. What? I wasn’t going to admit I practically drooled over them.

  Joe seemed to sense I liked them even without me saying it out loud, as he let me see a slight smile before he focused back on his newspaper. I, however, was done with the whole pile of pajeon in a matter of minutes.

  Positively stuffed, I leaned back on the chair, huffing.

  Joe lifted his eyes from the newspaper again. “No morning jog today?”

  “Are you kidding? I’m not running with my stomach full. Ugh.”

  “Figured. I thought I’d ask since it seems like a routine.”

  “Nah, gotta rest sometime too,” I said, rubbing my belly.

  Though the weather was nice. Maybe I could’ve gone for a walk or something. Get some little fresh air. It was not like I could just loiter around either, because that only meant nightmares and panic attacks.

  But thinking about a walk for mere leisure made me hyper-aware of the fact that Joe wouldn’t get days off while trapped up here in the mountains with me. It wasn’t like he could call someone to cover him to take a walk… I guess I could at least ask if he’d be up for it before deciding on my own.

  “We could go for a walk, later. If you want to?” I said, and okay, that didn’t exactly come out as a proper question.

  Joe didn’t seem to mind, though.

  “Why not?” he said and started to fold the newspaper away. That usual twinkle in his eyes looked even more sparkly today if possible. “I mean, we could spend the entire day in your bed, too, but as you wish...”

  I snatched the newspaper from his hand and aimed to hit him in the head with it. Joe dodged it in a relaxed manner, apparently not in the mood to start an actual fight. He could’ve, very easily, as he now knew what would get me going. But I guess he wanted to flex his ability to make me walk right into his traps by letting it go.

 

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