Dimmed Lights, page 21
part #3 of On Stage Trilogy Series
So you ARE Chris from GRiD?! And no bullshitting allowed this time. Fool me once... Joonas had captioned.
Holding back a chuckle, I snapped a quick selfie, pointing a finger-heart at the cam and all. Thankfully I hadn’t wiped the makeup off yet, so the scars didn’t look that bad. In fact, I looked kind of hot. Not gonna lie, noting that felt pretty damn good after months of self-loathing. I was almost back to my old self. Maybe getting some professional help hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.
I sent the pic to Joonas with a caption, Yeah, it’s me. I must say I never imagined you as a blond.
Seemed like he had been waiting for my reply by his phone, because the reply was immediate. Fuck me. It really is you.
Maybe I would if you weren’t taken already. And yes, you’re right.
Joe cleared his throat beside me.
“We’re here,” he muttered, his voice so cold it could’ve frozen hell over as he got up from the backseat next to mine.
I held back an eye-roll to his cold tone, thanked the driver, and got out as well. Joe was already heading inside, his stiff back disappearing through the back entrance. I followed suit, nearly having to jog to keep up with him.
Once inside and walking through the hallways, I picked up my phone again.
Ew, gay. I guess it’s not called gay-pop for nothing, Joonas had replied meanwhile.
It became fairly hard to type as I laughed so hard my eyes watered. Didn’t matter though, as I was cut short by Joe. As he snatched my phone away.
“Focus, Chris,” he snapped, pointing at the door with his thumb. “Your room.”
I tried to snatch my phone back. Unsuccessfully, as Joe only needed to hold it slightly higher for me to not reach it without looking dumb as fuck jumping around like a kid.
“Look, I know you hate me these days, but can you fucking chill?” I snapped.
At once when my eyes met his, Joe calmed down and averted his gaze. He looked at me, but also didn’t. It was this thing he did these days whenever having to talk to me, looking somewhere not quite at me but just slightly past me.
“I don’t hate you,” he said, his tone of voice back to that annoying disinterested one. In fact, even the smallest hint of emotion on his demeanor disappeared. But when he was handing my phone back, he made the mistake of glancing at the screen. Something dark and dangerous flashed in his eyes as he frowned his eyebrows upon whatever he saw on my phone’s screen.
“You should think a little more about who you give your personal phone number to,” he said, scolding me. “I think we’ve had enough stalkers around lately.”
This time I couldn’t hold back from rolling my eyes. “Relax, I haven’t given my personal information to anyone. It’s a relatively anonymous messaging app for gamers. I can delete my account anytime. And even if he managed to fish out some of my information, I can always—”
Why was I even explaining this to him?
“Anyway, what the fuck is wrong with you today—” I started asking, but Joe smashed the phone back on my hand before turning his back on me.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he muttered, and started walking away.
I didn’t believe it.
“Well, clearly something’s up…” I mumbled.
The whole thing was giving me a severe headache. Not that I could do anything about it except watch him go. When did things between us become so complicated?
Then a realization hit me. Maybe the most important one ever. I couldn’t believe I nearly missed it.
“A-are you jealous, by any chance?”
Helsinki Incident
Joe stopped on his tracks. I admit; it ignited the smallest sparkle of hope somewhere deep inside me…until Joe replied, that is.
“It’s not like I’m jealous, per se. Just annoyed that you have no problem flirting with others after you constantly pushed me away when I tried to make any advances towards you.”
What a disappointment. And I regretted asking. Heat creeped up my neck. Fuck.
Fortunately, I didn’t get to wallow in it for long, as Joe opened his mouth again.
“Why do you ask?” he asked, barely glancing towards me over his shoulder.
“Err, I was just wondering. Forget it,” I mumbled, flashing my key card on the lock in hopes of escaping to my hotel room.
But right when the lock flashed a green light, Joe’s hand appeared on the door handle. Suddenly I got dizzy. I could feel the warmth of his body right beside me—that’s how close he was. And I realized I hadn’t only gotten addicted to alcohol, but also Joe; it became extremely hard to not throw myself at him and hope for the best.
“Answer me, Chris. Why do you need to know?” he murmured to my ear with that annoyingly eargasmic voice of his that sent a current of warmness running through my whole entire body.
I froze, trying my hardest to not shiver upon that sensation he inflicted within me. I guess this was it. The moment of truth. Unfortunately, it was hard to focus with Joe at such a close proximity.
“I—” I started, but the rest of the words stuck to my throat.
Joe became frustrated. I could tell because he yanked the door open and pushed me inside. Then he followed me in and slammed the door shut behind us.
Soon, he towered over me. I backed off; eyes widened as he stared me down. He was pissed. His eyes had turned dark, or maybe it was the lighting…anyway I became scared shitless. Lips pressed into a thin line, he approached me, step by step, until I had backed off so much my back hit the wall and he was so close I could feel the tingle of his minty-breath on my face.
But then he let out a deep sigh at the same time the light in his eyes dimmed.
“Please Chris,” he pleaded, his voice all soft suddenly. “I need to know.”
I swear to the gods that my heart picked up the pace so fast it must’ve been some kind of a world record. I dropped my eyes, balling my fists tight in order to stop them from shaking.
Joe needed to know. He said so. I realized I needed to tell him, even if it was the last thing I’d do.
“I—umm…I was wondering if…if there was a chance you cared…” I said, then gulped. “About me. At all.” Sigh. “And that’s why I asked.”
There. I said it.
A silence occurred, so deep I could hear my own heartbeat and the sound of my blood rushing straight to my face. Fuck I hated blushing. And speaking. And feelings. Why was this so goddamn hard?
The warmest, softest sensation on my cheek interrupted the chaos inside me. As soon as I realized it was Joe’s hand, cupping my jawline, my heart stopped. At once, I flashed my eyes up at him in wonder and almost melted under his intense but still somehow soft gaze.
“Of course, I care about you,” he said, a small smile tugging up one corner of his mouth. His thumb brushed my skin, leaving behind a tingling trail. I almost melted to the spot.
“No, but…I mean, like, that way.”
The smile on his lips got wider. “Chris, everything I’ve done after the day I picked you up at the police station…I’ve done for you.”
At first I nearly melted upon hearing that statement. I mean…it definitely meant he cared about me, right? But then, my blood which was already rushing through my veins due to adrenaline, also started boiling.
I narrowed my eyes. “You abandoned me!”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
My voice almost shook from rage. “You said you were tired of me!”
His eyes dropped. “I just couldn’t keep watching you hurt yourself…and everyone around you. Including me.”
Ouch. My anger deflated. “You…you told me to fuck off.”
“So did you.”
Instant cringe. I guess I had. Multiple times.
“Fair,” I muttered, finding the green drapes very interesting all of a sudden on my quest to avoid looking directly at Joe’s eyes. Voice shaking, I added, “But I really thought you wanted to get rid of me…”
Joe lifted my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes.
“I already told you once: you can’t get rid of me even if you tried.”
When I stayed silent, too close to fainting to form any coherent words, he continued. “I just need one thing from you.”
Anything. “Yes?”
“Answer me this one thing—honestly; what exactly do you want from me?”
It was clear in his voice, that in his words laid a challenge. No—a dare.
He was daring me to take the lead and face whatever laid in store for me. The question was: could I? And more importantly, should I?
Thankfully I already knew the answer to that.
“All of it,” I whispered, as I wasn’t sure if my voice could carry anymore.
He smiled and closed the rest of the distance between us. “Then you shall have it,” he breathed, so close that I could feel it tingle on my lips.
I was swept away by the rush of the biggest relief of my existence. I couldn’t resist the pull of him anymore. And I realized I didn’t need to. Instead, I rose on my toes, my lips meeting his halfway.
Joe pulled me closer by my waist, and I was happy to press my entire body against him. He became hungry, fast, demanding my compliance with his lips. I was glad to lose. Hell, for the longest time in a long while, I felt okay. More than okay.
We were both panting when we pulled apart to take a breather.
“Chris…I need you,” Joe admitted between his sharp breaths. His eyes were closed so I couldn’t see, but his slightly trembling hand that was laying on my waist and the tone of his voice told me he was—for once—being the insecure one of us.
“I need you too,” I said, my voice almost as shaky as his.
Joe’s eyes fluttered open and darkened almost instantly as he studied my face. I don’t know what he found in my expression, but the resolution was clear in his eyes as he claimed my lips with another intense kiss.
It proved to be the end of the last doubts in my mind. I could no longer deny my feelings toward him, and I knew right away that I was done for life. My heart agreed by hammering so fast I was sure I could’ve fainted any minute.
Meanwhile Joe was exploring my mouth with his tongue, licking and nibbling to his heart’s content. It was almost as if he was taking revenge for the time lost.
Or on me, I couldn’t really tell.
But being reminded of all the time lost made me eager for more. My yearning for his closeness started burning me inside out so hot I was damn close to bursting into open flames. Before I realized it, my hands were already yanking Joe’s shirt buttons open. With unnecessary force I might add, but I was desperate.
Joe caught up with what I was after instantly. Which meant we were a whole, equally busy mess for a while, heading to the bed. We pulled and tore each other’s clothes practically apart in order to get naked as fast as possible…all without parting our lips once.
As soon as Joe got me naked enough, he ended the kiss by tossing me on top of the bed. My sudden longing for his lips didn’t last for long though, when another sensation made me arch my back so fast I was momentarily afraid I’d snap my spine—it was Joe’s mouth attacking the side of my neck. Then he moved further down with his lips and tongue, until he reached my cock. I held my breath in anticipation, or a pure need for more.
Joe provided me that “more” by swallowing most of my length. My hands gripped the sheets beneath me as I gasped. The heat of his slick mouth over my throbbing dick was a sensation powerful enough to make my toes curl involuntarily. I squeezed my eyes shut—I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to feel all these sensations.
And Joe didn’t stop there.
A moan of pure bliss came out my mouth before I could stop it when Joe started working his mouth on my dick so skillfully I saw stars. Shiver after shiver ran through my whole body. Just a little bit more and I would get my release. Only a little more...
But he didn’t let me come.
Every time I felt myself getting close, he stopped short. Completely ceasing all magic that he was working on me with his mouth and tongue, he would let my cock slide out of his mouth and fall flat on my stomach.
The umpteenth time it happened, my eyes snapped open. The tip of my dick glistened with saliva and pre-cum, the sight so hot I could’ve nutted right then and there if I wasn’t so frustrated.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Joe only smirked and said, “God I missed you,” before driving me right back to insanity with his mouth back on my cock.
But by the next time he stopped right when I was about to cum, I had had it. Annoyed, I sat up, grabbed Joe’s elbow, and yanked, ultimately forcing him to fall on his back right next to me. A surprised huff escaped his lips when I straddled him, his fully erect dick pressing against my bum.
“My turn,” I said and attacked his chest with my lips as my ass rubbed against his boner.
A groan erupted from the depths of Joe right about then and I knew it was working. After all, it was a game for two, and I wasn’t about to let history repeat itself; if there was something to regret about our last time having sex, it was that I didn’t do any of the work. And I was going to make him regret the time he had been away from me.
The only problem was that I wanted more myself. Just being this close wasn’t enough. I wanted him so close we’d become one. I needed him inside me. Making him suffer with my revenge wasn’t enough, even though hearing his distressed groans and attempts at stopping me was highly satisfying.
I reached for the nightstand for the lube that I had hidden there for…well, lonelier nights. Even though a couple of my own fingers up my ass didn’t even remotely compare to feeling all of Joe inside me.
But when Joe caught up on what I was planning when I squeezed some of the lube to my hand and started working it on his dick, a slight panic flashed in his eyes.
“Wait, you’ve not been prepared, it’ll hurt—” he started, but the rest of it was muffled due to my hand that I pressed against his mouth.
“Shut up,” I said and aligned his huge cock against my entrance.
Joe mumbled, “What about a condom?” through my hand.
Aish. I almost forgot. I reached over to the nightstand, but Joe stopped me by grabbing my arm.
“I mean…I’m clean. But…um, I kind of hate to ask this now, but did anything happen…with…um, you know. Others. I’m not judging or anything but—” He evaded my eyes.
I pressed my index finger across his lips.
“Look at me,” I said, and waited for him to turn his eyes back to mine. “Never.”
He let out a relieved sight. “Then I’m fine without…if you are.”
I started lowering myself, ever so slowly, centimeter by centimeter. And fuck had I underestimated the pure size of Joe’s rod once again.
I wasn’t going to give up though. I didn’t care if I was going to be sore after this. I needed it so bad it hurt more emotionally than the physical discomfort ever could. Besides, it was all worth it when his humongous dick finally reached the magic spot inside me, and my half-way softened dick once again hardened to its full strength.
When my ass cheeks finally touched Joe hips, I let out a content, relieved sigh. Glancing down at Joe, I noticed he was in some other world already, eyes shut tight. I admired him, his god-like physique and the look of absolute bliss on his face. Then marveled at the realization that I had caused that look while I waited for my ass to get used to his size. When I was done, I slowly removed my hand from on top of his mouth, ready to shut him right up if he had any protests.
He didn’t have any.
“Oh my fucking god you’re tight,” he mumbled instead, his voice all kinds of strained.
Smiling, I raised my hips carefully, before lowering myself back down. Joe let out another grunt of pleasure, shivering under me. His hands grabbed my waist—either to slow me down or urge me forward, I couldn’t really tell—so I kept my pace as it was. Which was agonizingly slow—the only pace I could manage in this position.
Soon, I was rocking back and forth in a euphoric state when the discomfort finally dissolved completely, and all I could feel was immense pleasure.
Joe became impatient, raising his hips to meet me half-way every time I was coming back down. He also dug his hands tighter against my flesh, which told me he was about to lose it any time now.
And then he did.
“Chris,” he breathed, looking like he was losing it. “Fuck, I need–”
To be honest, I wasn’t quite attached to reality myself.
“I’m sorry,” he continued then, stopped me, and rolled us around so abruptly I was forced to get back to the present from the paradise land of pleasure momentarily, to try and keep up with him.
That brief visit to sanity got cut off right away though, as Joe buried his cock back inside me balls deep with one fast and powerful thrust. The wave of pleasure washed over me so forcefully I was sure I was about to pass out any second. Our voices which we could no longer control even as little as we had been able a moment ago, combined in a lustful symphony that filled the whole room—I could only hope the others weren’t nearby or at least so deeply immersed in their own activities that they couldn’t hear us. Not that I cared much; it wasn’t like we were the only ones that were desperate to engage in some adult exercises from time to time.
Joe crashed on top of me, his full weight pressing me against the mattress. I held him even closer, circling my hand on his back and combed through his black, velvety hair with the other. His chest and abdomen muscles rippled and flexed against my skin in a way that I could only describe as delicious and erotic when he picked up the pace.
Truth to be told, it didn’t take much more than four, five thrusts from Joe to send me screaming over the edge. Spurting countless streaks of milky white substance on my abdomen, I could only hang on for dear life while Joe started working even more to reach his own undoing.
I was thoroughly spent when he finally pummeled his cock deep inside me with a long, whiny groan escaping his lips.
