Let Him Go, page 5
“You’re carrying this way out of proportion,” I said.
“I disagree. You’re in for a real treat tonight. Dad shared a few things with me. He’s worked hard to make this a special night for you.”
“Now, you’ve got me scared.”
“He won’t propose if that’s why you’re concerned.”
“Propose?” My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “We’re not even dating.”
“Whatever you say.” Her smile faded. “I need to share something with you before I go. Not sure if now’s the best time. But I’d like to tell you about a dream from a couple of months ago.”
“A dream?”
“I don’t have many, but this one seemed real.” She bit at her lip. “I saw a stunning woman dressed for her wedding day. She carried a bouquet of roses. Her dress, though not a typical wedding gown, was magnificent. Delicately woven deep purple lace covered a lavender lining.”
“Deep purple and lavender?” My heart raced. “Those were the colors in the bouquet he brought me on Thanksgiving Day.” I jumped up. “Allison . . .”
“You do know that those mean ‘love at first sight,’ don’t you? Why are you surprised regarding any of this? The roses? My dream? I told you before that he’s crazy about you.” She motioned for me to sit and her tone turned soft. “Please allow me to finish.”
I sat and gave her my full attention.
“The bride radiated confidence and love and held herself like a queen. The groom was my dad. I didn’t get a clear look at his bride’s face until she arrived at the front where I stood.” She teared up. “You were his bride. The dream occurred the night before we met. I came to the office to see if you were the woman. Do you remember my gasp when the elevator doors opened?”
I stood, pulled my hair behind my ears, and trudged to the kitchen.
Allison came up behind me. “Dad had spoken about you with fondness, and I believed it would be you. I don’t mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable, but please be open to whatever the Lord asks of you.”
I turned to face her. “Your dad will need to have a change of heart with regards to the Lord before I could ever consider marriage.”
“Please give him time—as much as he needs. I wouldn’t ask you to compromise what you believe, but he’s an incredible man.”
“I agree.” I touched her upper arm. “He is.”
Her face beamed. “I’ve got to get home, do my hair and makeup, and change. We’ll be back at 6:00 to pick you up.” She hugged me again before she left.
I immediately called Blake. “What are your plans for tonight? Allison was here with the dresses. She sounded like something special would take place.”
He chuckled. “We’ll enjoy a lovely dinner, and I hope to show my special friend how much I appreciate and admire her.” He spoke in an animated tone. “Give me a chance. I think you’ll be pleased.”
“I’d like to meet you there.” I sighed. “Allison and Jim want to pick me up.”
“Why?”
“Allison thought it’d be fun.”
“That’s not what I planned.” He sounded grumpy.
“May help smooth things over between you two.”
“Will I have the honor of taking you home?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m okay.”
“That will make Allison happy. I’ll meet you there at 6:30.”
~
Allison squealed with excitement when she arrived. “You look amazing.”
“You’ve already seen me.”
“But Daddy hasn’t. He’s going to be blown away.”
“Daddy?”
“I call him Daddy when I get excited. This will be a night out of a fairy tale.”
“I hope the story doesn’t include a wicked witch.”
“Not at all. You’ll be treated like a royal princess. Shall we go? Our carriage awaits.”
Outside, Jim stood next to his Ford Escape and played the part of a chauffeur opening the two passenger doors. Allison made quick introductions and directed me to the front, and she sat in the back. We hurried off to the restaurant and commented on the Christmas lights we passed.
All the nervousness I’d carried throughout the day vanished with Jim in the car. His humor kept me on my toes. However, I wasn’t sure when he was serious or joking. We seemed to disagree on yard decorations when we passed through one upscale neighborhood. What he described as tasteful, I thought to be horrid. I think he liked to tease.
When we pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot, we were greeted by a valet wearing a Santa hat.
Inside, I led the way to Blake and our table. The restaurant was elegantly decorated with fine linen tablecloths, fresh flower centerpieces, and soft lighting casting romantic, alluring shadows throughout. The instrumental Christmas music playing through the speaker system gave a calm and soothing affect.
My focus, however, was the handsome man in the dark blue jacket. He stood with his hands clasped behind his body. His entire face glowed. He peered at me like I was the only woman in the room. He took both of my hands in his and gazed deep into my eyes. “I’ve anticipated this moment all day. You are ravishing.”
My knees weakened. “You look mighty fine yourself. Your stubble—going for a rugged appearance?”
“Often on weekends. Do you like?”
I gently cupped my hand on his cheek. Although the stubble was prickly, I noticed my touch was well-received. My eyes remained on his. “I do. Very much.”
“Hey you two. You have chairs.” Jim’s voice echoed in the distance. “Can you quit staring and sit? I’m starving and want to order.”
I noticed Allison across the table. Her eyes were big and round.
Blake pulled out my chair and gawked at Jim. “Sorry.”
We took our seats, and I glanced at Blake. My heart almost jumped out of my chest. This is a date. A real date. I should fake a headache and ask Allison to drive me home.
Blake pointed to the opposite side of me.
“I’m sorry.” I grabbed a menu from the waiter and flipped it open.
Blake leaned close to my ear. “Sparks.”
I wrinkled my forehead and squinted. “Stop.”
Allison kept her eyes on us. “What did you say to her? Sparks? By the expression on her face, she’s ready to smack you.”
Blake grinned. “Keedryn has a little habit I picked up on. She likes to stare at me. Her eyes light up like the night sky and sparks fly.” He made an overly dramatic wave of his hands.
I pursed my lips. “Mr. Conner. You flatter yourself a little too much.”
“Be nice, Dad.”
Sweet of Allison to come to my defense.
We placed our dinner orders, and I excused myself to the Ladies Room to wash my hands. Allison followed. Times hadn’t changed. Women still liked to go to the powder room together.
Inside the restroom, I strolled to the sink. Allison whispered, “What happened between the two of you out there?”
“What do you mean?” I turned on the water, pumped the soap dispenser, and washed my hands.
She spoke to my reflection in the mirror. “Your eyes and smiles while you gazed at each other. Like wow. Jim tried to get your attention three times before you two responded.”
I could see my face turn red. “I guess we both got caught up in the moment. No big deal.” I reached for a paper towel.
“No big deal? Are you crazy? You cannot deny his attraction or yours.”
“You seem to be handling the time with your dad well. Did the two of you talk again after you left my house?”
She looked at the floor. “No. This is a special night. We haven’t held this family tradition in years. You’re here with us. Dad’s becoming Dad again. I don’t want to do anything to mess that up.” She tapped her heel up and down on the floor. “Although I’m upset with him, I love him bunches.”
I spun and faced Allison. “Did you hear what you just said?”
She jerked her head up. “What? I love him bunches?”
“You said Dad is becoming Dad again. Ever since your mother died, he stopped being the dad you knew. This different dad couldn’t see why not telling you the full truth could hurt you more.” I tossed my paper towel into the trash. “He’s now becoming the dad you remember growing up. Your mother’s death hurt him deeply. Changed him. He no longer processed things the same way.”
“You may be right. I need to stop punishing him.” She appeared serious for a moment before she gave me a playful shove. “You tried to avoid my comment a moment ago. You can’t deny what happened out there. No doubt Dad loves you, and you’re in love with him too.”
Chapter 6
W
hat was I going to do? Allison was right. The way Blake gazed into my eyes, his smiles, and attention, he loved me. That I couldn’t deny. And I him, but I can’t. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Lord, You told me to share Your love, not mine. I’m a goner. So much for guarding my heart.
When Allison and I returned to our table, Blake stood and helped me with my chair. After I sat, he took my hand. Why did this man set my heart on fire?
At the same time our waiter brought out our food, a live band took the stage. They, too, were dressed classy. They reminded me of the bands from the 1940s my grandparents listened to. White sports coats, dark pants and shoes. Swing music? Jazz? I’d enjoy listening, but I hoped Blake didn’t plan to dance.
After we were served, I peered across the table to see if Jim or Allison would offer a word of thanksgiving.
Blake squeezed my hand. “Let’s pray.” We all bowed our heads. “We thank you for bringing us together after several years to reinstate this family tradition. The family has changed, but Your faithfulness and provision have not. We are grateful, Lord. Amen.”
Tears streamed down Allison’s face. “Daddy. That was sweet.”
“If I’d known I was going to make you cry, I would have asked Jim to pray.” He gaped at me. “You too? What’s wrong with you women?”
I glanced across the table at Allison. “A part of our job description. We like to laugh, cry, and go to the restroom in pairs. Coded into our brains.”
I leaned closer to Blake but whispered loud enough for Allison and Jim to hear. “Could I have my hand back, so I can eat my dinner?” He released my hand. “Has anyone talked to Andy? Are he and Zoey coming for Christmas?” Zoey was Andy’s girlfriend.
Allison frowned. “Dad’s tried and so have I. Andy said they’re not ready to make the trip yet.”
Blake nodded. “I offered to buy their tickets, but I don’t think Andy wants me to pay for them. He wants to be independent. The round-trip will cost them almost $1,000. They can’t afford that kind of money, especially with a baby on the way.”
After I finished the best steak I’d ever eaten, Blake asked if anyone wanted dessert. Allison and I declined. The guys ordered cheesecake—Jim peanut butter and Blake white chocolate.
When the waiter walked away, Blake nudged my arm. “Now’s the time.” He waggled his eyebrows.
My heart leapt. Does he plan to kiss me right now? Here? “Time?”
“Time to dance.”
I panicked. Although the band played an array of genres, I didn’t want to go out on the dance floor. Besides, this reminded me of Blake with Brandi. Not good memories.
He leaned close to my ear and whispered. “I anticipated a dance with you at the conference banquet. Things didn’t go as planned.” He stood and reached out his hand palm up. “Tonight, I don’t want anything to interfere with our dance. I plan to sweep you off your feet my lovely lady.”
I peered across the table, and Allison nodded. I stared up at Blake. “I don’t know how to dance.”
“I’ll lead. You follow.”
Allison and Jim encouraged me to go and have fun. Dancing wasn’t fun when you hadn’t swayed to music since your teen years. I’d be klutzy for sure. And with Allison and Jim nearby to watch me make a fool of myself, I dreaded what could happen.
I took Blake’s offered hand, and he led me to the dance floor. I didn’t know the song the band was playing, but the tune was soft and mellow. He placed my left hand on his right shoulder and took my right hand in his left. After he grinned, he put his right hand on the middle of my back and pulled me a little closer. This is nice. Here on a date and I’m okay with that, for now.
The song ended. Blake removed his hand from my back and put his index finger to his lips.
The band’s leader said something about a special song for a special lady. He also mentioned the couple on the dance floor in blue. We’re in blue. What? What did he say?
When the music restarted, Blake again placed his hand on my back and pulled me close. I gaped at him and tilted my head. His eyes glimmered. “This is my song to you.”
His song to me? Blake sang along with the band’s lead singer. I glanced away. Oh, my goodness. A love song.
I gazed back into his blue eyes. Mine were met with admiration and love—unmistakable affection. “You’re singing me a love song?”
He paused from his song to say one word. “Yes.”
I guess I longingly looked at him because he whispered, “Not yet.” But when the song ended, he dipped his head and leaned toward me. I put my fingers in front of his lips and forced a swallow. “Are you sure this time? This is a romantic moment to me, but I don’t want to make the same mistake.” I closed my eyes. His kiss was tender and sweet. My knees wobbled. I needed to sit.
He pulled back and caressed my cheek with his finger. “Was that a dream-worthy first kiss?”
I kept my eyes closed and waited for another. “I’m not sure. May I have a do-over?” I opened my eyes.
He chuckled. “Do-overs happen when the first time is messed up. Was my kiss bad?”
“If I say terrible, will I get another?” I smiled and winked.
“Do you think you can wait until I drive you home?”
“Promise?” I floated toward our table. “I’m going to need you to hold onto me. I’m feeling a little lightheaded.”
“Are you okay?”
I stared at him. “Sparks are affecting my vision.”
He grinned and kept his arm around my waist as we returned to our table.
Jim put his last bite of cheesecake into his mouth.
Blake patted him on the back before we sat. “How’s the cheesecake?” He eyed his piece on the other side the table. “Looks fantastic.” He peered at me. “Would you like a bite?”
“You swept me off my feet, and all you can think about is your cheesecake?” I shook my head. “You’re such a man.”
Blake pulled out my chair and we sat.
I twisted toward him. “You have an amazing voice.” And lips.
“You should hear him when he sings and plays.” Allison beamed at her dad.
“Plays?”
Blake waved the comment off. “I play a little piano and the guitar. Nothing fancy.”
“And the banjo.” Jim peered at Blake’s cheesecake. “That’s my favorite.”
I leaned closer to Blake. “You’re full of surprises tonight. I realize how little I know you.”
“You know all the important things.”
Blake noticed Jim’s continued stare and passed the rest of his cheesecake across the table. “Have at it, bud.”
When we got ready to leave, Allison touched my arm and whispered. “You’re glowing. He did sweep you off your feet, didn’t he?”
“Unfortunately.” I sighed.
She giggled. “Hang in there. You two make a great couple.”
I shivered and rubbed my arms when we stepped outside. Blake wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.
After we both settled into the car, I glanced at him. “Thank you for this evening.”
“You mean our date?”
“Yes.” I fiddled with the sequins on my dress. “Our date.”
“So, we’re dating now?”
I looked up at Blake and raised my eyebrows.
“And we’re a couple, in a relationship, and no longer just special friends?”
“Is that what you meant by commit first?”
He shrugged. “What?” He stroked his stubbled chin. “Oh. You’ll commit to be a couple because you want me to take you to another fancy place for dinner. I see how you are.”
I gazed at him. His smile. What a transformation from a few months earlier.
Let him go. A voice pounded in my head. I startled and blinked. Stunned, I looked out the windshield and tried to compose myself. Not the Lord. A chill scurried down my spine. Not real. Can’t be. I needed to respond, but what did Blake say? Commit to another dinner? Another date?
He took my hand. “Is everything okay?”
“Great. A beautiful evening.” I continued to focus straight ahead. “I enjoyed meeting Jim. He and Allison make a cute couple.” I tried to push aside what I thought I’d heard and was determined to enjoy the rest of my evening with Blake. After a chatty ride, we arrived at my place.
“Here we are. May I come in?” He squeezed my hand.
“Yes.” Or should I have said no? I unlocked the door to my condo, and we strolled inside. “Would you like a cup of coffee or something else to drink?”
He shook his head and moved closer to me. His eyes returned to my lips.
“Stop.” I put my hand in front of his mouth.
He stepped back. “I thought you wanted—”
“I do. But could we go all the way back to the start of the song?”
“We don’t have any music.”
Thankful for a recent birthday gift, I cleared my throat. “Alexa.” I asked her to play the same love song Blake sang to me—one of Jenny’s favorites.
Blake held me in his arms—my hands draped around his neck. This dance was better than the last—no one watching us. During the instrumental part of the song he peered into my eyes and whispered, “I love you, K.” His nickname for me.
Do I dare tell him how I feel? I searched his handsome face and again cupped his cheek in my hand. “And I love you.”
Chapter 7
B
lake planned to arrive early Sunday morning. We wanted to grab a cup of coffee on our way to church. I glanced out my front window—eager to see him after spending most of the night awake remembering his arms around me, his song, and our kiss. I giggled. To find love a second time. And maybe, after several months of dating—marriage? I never planned on this. But there was still the issue of his lack of a relationship with God. I said a quick prayer that our pastor’s message would touch Blake’s heart. If I do marry Blake, he must first commit himself to the Lord so we can love and serve Him together.
