Let Him Go, page 4
I raised my eyebrows.
“Jesus loves you too.” His eyes glistened.
I nodded. “She has a tender heart for the Lord.”
He kissed me on the cheek and opened the door. “May I call you tomorrow? Maybe we could get together for lunch or dinner.”
“We talked about lunch after church on Sunday. Does that still work for you?” On our drive to the airport to fly home from the conference, Blake agreed to attend church with me and have lunch together afterward.
“I’ll see you Sunday morning.” He stepped outside and strode to his car.
From my open doorway, I called out to him. “Blake.” He turned my way. “He does love you.”
He smiled and waved.
I pushed the door closed, leaned my back against it, and let out a long breath. “And so do I.”
Chapter 4
A
lthough today was Black Friday and the office was closed, the holiday party demanded my attention. There was much to do with the bash three weeks away. I contacted Cindy Walker, and she confirmed her band was available.
I was unsuccessful in securing a caterer. May need to cook this meal myself. I gave a resigned sigh and slumped into my chair with no idea how to pull that off. Thanksgiving and Christmas were a stretch for me—cooking for four or five.
Jenny called. I told her about the holiday party dilemma and asked if I could borrow her smoker on December 15. She suggested we ask our churches to get involved. Both churches offered mid-week meals and excellent cooks. We discussed the menu which included brisket, pulled pork, sausage, and chicken. Jenny offered to make calls to see if we could pull everything together.
“Do you think Blake would let us use his kitchen?” She squealed with excitement in her voice. “I imagine there’s plenty of room if his house is huge.”
“Why? The cooks can prepare everything at their churches, can’t they?”
“Possibly. But I think it will be better and more fun to be all together.”
“I’ll ask. He’ll probably want us to use the chairman of the board’s kitchen since the party will be held there. I’ll call you back later.”
We ended our call. Fun? She must be kidding. This was torture. Alicia should have asked for my help when Walt first asked her to organize the party.
I sat at my kitchen table and clicked on Blake’s number. He sounded happy when he answered my call and agreed to us using our churches’ cooks.
Before I plowed ahead with my next question, I said a short prayer. I asked if we could use his kitchen as our home base. “Our churches have commercial food warmers and vans we can borrow to transport the food to Walt’s.”
“That doesn’t make sense because the party will be at Walt’s. Plan to do everything there.”
My gut twisted. “But I’m not comfortable being in Walt’s house.”
When Blake realized I would spend the day assisting the cooks and organizing people and tasks, he softened to the idea but told me that his chef wouldn’t be available to help.
His chef? I had no idea.
Since I needed to leave by 5:00 p.m. to make it to the Grand Ole Opry for Nicki’s birthday, Blake suggested I call Allison. If she were available to help supervise the kitchen at his house and if Beth could oversee BCH staff with the setup at Walt’s, we’d have his approval.
I felt relieved and thankful that when I saw Blake’s house for the first time, there would be a lot of people present helping to get ready for the holiday party. A private tour of his home, alone with him, would make me nervous and may start rumors.
~
I called Allison while I stared out my front window to the condo’s parking area. We moved quickly through a lot of topics in a short period of time. Thanksgiving, our upcoming “family dinner,” finding Andy, and the holiday party. She was excited to help. She cheerfully agreed to be lead chef and kitchen captain. Near the end of our conversation, she asked if Blake shared the details of her mom’s accident with me. I told her no. I still didn’t know anything. She sounded as though she wanted to discuss new information with me.
After I finished my conversation with Allison, I called Wes. “Are you available to meet for coffee?”
“Why don’t we talk on the phone? I’m feeling a bit under the weather today. I think I ate too much turkey.” He sounded down. “Are you and Blake getting serious?”
“I’m not sure what will happen with Blake and me.” I moved to the sofa and sat. “But I’d decided to pursue a deeper friendship with him before you stopped by yesterday.”
“I’m okay with you dating both of us. What do you think about that?”
Help me, Lord. “I’m sorry, Wes, I’ve cherished our time together, but I don’t believe that will work.” I moved my cell to my left ear.
“So, you won’t give me a chance?”
“You’ve been a blessing to me, and I’ve enjoyed our friendship. But that’s all it can be.”
“Oh, I see. Thanks.”
He hung up. I hurt him. Me—the bad guy. Not something I enjoyed. I’d miss our time together. When did life become so complicated? I broke two men’s hearts without dating. Dan and Wes.
Would Blake be number three? Or will he hurt me? I need to remember to guard my heart.
~
I refused to make calls on Saturday, and no one called me. No party follow-up. No suitors or potential suitors. A great day, although I missed my Nicki. I hoped to see her again soon.
On Sunday morning I waited inside the main entrance of the church for Blake. I waved and stepped toward him when he entered the lobby. “You look dashing this morning in your brown suede jacket. New?” I reached out to shake his hand.
Blake moved in for a hug. “I missed you yesterday.”
I ignored his comment. “Come with me. I want you to meet my small group leader, Manuel. I told you about him when we were in Albuquerque. Remember?” I grabbed Blake’s hand, led him across the lobby past an eight-foot tall Christmas tree, and to the education wing. We found Manuel talking with a couple of teen boys in the hallway. I caught his attention and made introductions after the boys entered their classroom. I let go of Blake’s hand, so he could shake Manuel’s and was surprised by how clammy his palm had become.
After chatting for a few minutes, Blake and I strolled toward the worship center. We were stopped by a few older ladies, who were interested in meeting my new friend.
The worship band was playing an upbeat song when we entered the sanctuary. We found two seats in the middle of the center section and remained standing. The songs slowed and became more worshipful. I fought tears. Part of my emotion was because Blake stood next to me holding my hand like my husband, Sam, used to do before he died. I could get used to this. The rest of my emotion was because of my thankfulness to the Lord for His blessings and love. When seated, our pastor presented a dynamic message. He challenged us to go deeper in our walk with God.
After the service, several people welcomed Blake. He helped me with my jacket, and we made our way to the parking lot. “A great service. Not what I expected. I see why you enjoy attending here. Uplifting music and powerful preaching.”
“You’re welcome anytime.” I was delighted he enjoyed the service. Maybe this was what he needed to come back to the Lord.
He squeezed my hand, and we talked about lunch. I suggested Cheesecake Factory. We waited a few minutes before the hostess led us to a booth where we sat across from each other and chatted. After our food arrived, Blake mentioned our dinner plans for Saturday.
“Where are we going?” I wanted details.
“A place called Samson’s, in Franklin. Have you ever been?”
“I’m not familiar with it.”
“Quiet, soft music, private, and intimate.” He spoke in a smooth tone. “I think you’ll enjoy the atmosphere.”
I watched a waiter taking the order from a nearby table. Sounded like a romantic place. Perhaps a good place for a kiss. I wouldn’t make that mistake again. You have my permission. How embarrassing. Besides. He wouldn’t kiss me at Samson’s with his daughter and her husband present. That would be weird. I eyed Blake. I needed to keep in mind he tended to be sneaky. He’d plant one on me when I least expected it. “I look forward to spending time with your family.” Our waitress refilled our water glasses and walked away. “How did Allison take the news regarding Cheryl?”
He peered at the table. “She’s upset with me.”
“Would you like to discuss her reaction?”
“She’s disappointed I didn’t tell her sooner.” He propped his elbows on the table and massaged his temples. “She’s hurt too. She’s the one who stuck by my side the entire time. But I told Andy before her.” He shook his head. “I’m not ready to go into details yet.” He slouched in his seat and stared down at his hands.
I should have kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t good at pulling people out of the doldrums. I reached over and touched Blake’s hand that now rested on the table. “Did I tell you about Nicki’s latest adventure with Tiny?”
That brought a twinkle to his eye.
~
Early Monday morning, before Blake arrived at the office, Tauni came by to see me.
I asked about her holiday. She nodded toward the conference room—available and perfect for private discussions. After we sat next to each other, she lowered her head and told me that she and her boyfriend, Mitch, drove to Birmingham for lunch with his family.
I wrinkled my nose. “Things didn’t go well?”
“His family loved me. Especially when they asked if anyone wanted to pray over lunch, and I volunteered.” She picked at her fingernails. “Things aren’t going well with Mitch. We’re struggling. That’s why I stopped by to talk with you.”
I dipped my head to see her eyes. “How can I help?”
“When Mitch and I started dating, I was the ‘old’ Tauni. I’m not her anymore. He’s not as crazy about the new me.” She glanced up. “I need advice and guidance—someone to teach me how to be a godly woman and hold me accountable.”
“Are you asking me to be that person?”
“Would you mentor me? I need help with work, God, relationships, and life in general. I’d love to learn from you.”
I placed my hand on my chest. “I’m honored you asked. I haven’t done anything like this before.” I leaned closer to her. “Do you have ideas on how you’d like to get started?”
“Could we meet once a week to chat about life and see where that leads?”
“Sounds good to me.”
She smacked her hands together. “Could we start this week?”
I chuckled at her enthusiasm. “How do Wednesdays during our lunch hour sound?”
“Great. I’m excited about this.”
“So am I. This will be good for both of us.”
Amazing. My former nemesis asked me to mentor her. God, You are good.
Blake was near my desk when we returned. He did a double take when he saw Tauni. Her professional attire alone was enough to catch his attention.
She gazed down and back up at him. “I’m sorry about your presentation. If anyone messed with the slides when I left my desk, I’m fully responsible. I’m now careful to put my monitor in sleep mode before I walk away.”
“Sounds like you’ve taken steps to prevent future problems.” He smiled. “Keep up the good work.” He took a step toward his office.
Tauni followed. “Wait. I apologized to Keedryn a few weeks ago. I need to say this to you too.” She glanced at me and back at Blake. “I came in here more than once ...” She paused and looked at the floor. “I was inappropriately dressed and acted foolish and mean.” She peered up at Blake again. “I’d like you to know how sorry I am. I’m not that person any longer.”
Blake’s eyes widened. “What you just did takes courage. Lots of it.” He nodded and continued to his office.
After she left, Blake came out of his office and stood in front of my desk. “I believe you’re right regarding Tauni. If God can change her heart, maybe there’s hope for me too.”
~
Beth and I worked together throughout the week to get everything finalized with the churches for the holiday party two weeks from that Saturday. We decided not to include Alicia on anything other than the bar. That became her one responsibility.
Tauni and I met for the first time on Wednesday. We spent our lunch hour chatting about family and work relationships. I was guarded when she questioned me concerning the healthcare conference. I didn’t feel it was my place to mention Andy, and I didn’t say anything in relation to my growing friendship with Blake. She talked mostly about her relationship with Mitch, and hopefully I gave her the encouragement she sought.
On Friday at the office, I realized how the week had flown by. Perhaps the most enjoyable week yet working with Blake. He changed a lot since our trip to Albuquerque. He was attentive in a professional way. Not at all demanding. He treated me with full respect. I hoped the change in him meant he was drawing closer to the Lord.
Later that afternoon, Blake came out to my desk and spoke quietly. “Are you all set for tomorrow night at 6:00?”
“This is a fancy place, right?”
“Semi-formal. Kind of classy.”
“I may need to visit the mall.” I frowned and tapped my finger against my lower lip.
“Call Allison. She might have something. I’d hate to see you spend a lot of money for one night.”
I raised my eyebrows and pouted. “Only one night?”
“Not what I meant.”
“Oh? You will take me to a fancy place again?”
“I will, but you’ll have to commit first.”
“So, tomorrow night’s a teaser?” I tilted my head and pursed my lips.
He shook his head, turned away, and mumbled. “Women.”
Chapter 5
Early December
O
n Saturday morning, I contacted Allison and asked if I could borrow a dress for the evening. She was happy to help. We agreed to meet at my place at noon, have lunch, and try on dresses. She brought six with her. Red, three shades of blue, dark pink, and mint green. The colors were gorgeous. A couple of them were cut lower in the bodice than I cared to wear, but each was beautiful. We laid them on the sofa in my living room and hurried through lunch. I was eager to try them on.
“I think this one would be stunning on you. The blue matches Dad’s eyes.” Allison giggled. “You two would sparkle together.”
“I would at least. All these sequins glimmer in the light. I like the three-quarter length sleeves. And it appears the dress is long enough to cover my knobby knees.”
“This may be the only one you need to try.”
I rushed to my bedroom and carefully got into the dress. I didn’t want to damage any of the sequins. I admired myself in my bedroom mirror longer than I should have. Allison showed up a few minutes later.
Her mouth fell open. “The dress for you. You look amazing. Dad will do flips when he sees you.”
“Flips? You’re too funny.”
“Do you have shoes to match?” She made herself at home and rummaged through my closet. “What about these? Slip them on.” She tossed a pair of silver strappy sandals toward me.
I put them on and paraded through my room. “What do you think?”
“I think they’re perfect.” She hugged me and said, “It’s still early. What if we redo your makeup and hair? I supported myself through college working at a Clinique counter.”
“You supported yourself through college?” That’s hard to believe.
“Not actually supported. I worked to buy my meals. I hated cafeteria food.”
I slipped out of the dress and agreed to a makeover. After an hour of primping, Allison allowed me the privilege of a mirror. I stood and viewed my reflection in the bathroom.
“You’re amazing. I’m—”
“Beautiful?”
“I look better than I have in years.”
“Actually, you’re gorgeous.” She stood behind me, placed her hands on my shoulders, and peeked into the mirror. “Dad thinks so too.”
I placed my hand on my chest. “That’s sweet. But I’ve never thought of myself that way.”
“He does. On Monday at lunch, he talked about you the entire time. He said, ‘I don’t think I’ve seen a more beautiful woman since your mom.’” She turned me to face her. “He’s crazy about you.” She pulled her cell out of her pocket. “Put the dress back on and let me take your picture. Dad will want a copy for sure.” She led me back into my bedroom and helped me into the dress. “Smile.” She snapped the picture and texted me a copy.
“How am I going to keep this fresh appearance for three more hours? Everything may wear off before he picks me up. I might wilt during the evening and turn into a pumpkin.”
She giggled. “I think you have the story a little mixed up. You’re worried over nothing. You’ll still be beautiful to Dad when he arrives at 6:00. Trust me.” She got quiet. “Has he told you yet about Mom?”
I shook my head. “He’s not ready. I don’t want to push. Can you forgive him?”
“I have. The Lord’s forgiven me plenty.” She gazed at the ceiling. “I’m hurt and grieving all over again.” She peered at me. “I’ve asked for her journals, but he won’t budge.”
“Has he read them?”
“He can’t. They’re too painful. Would you ask him?”
I took a step back. “Since I’m not family, I think the two of you should work this out. I’ll be praying.”
Her frown quickly turned to another giggle. “I’ve got a great idea. You should call Dad and tell him that you’re coming to the restaurant with Jim and me. That way, I can see his face when he first sees you.”
Allison’s excitement was contagious. We agreed I would ask Blake. I was surprised when we strolled into the living room and she sat on the couch. I expected she’d want to get home to primp. I sat across from her in my big comfy rocker. She told me that she expected great things for tonight because she enjoyed watching couples in love.
