Let Him Go, page 14
I wanted to invite him to join me on the couch. We currently sat six feet away from one another, an example of the disconnect between us.
“Have you ever read the book of Hosea?”
He nodded and stared at the wall above my head. “Although the temptation has been strong, the Lord always gives me a way of escape.” He peered at me. “Eliza is relentless. You must pray for me constantly.” He leaned forward, placed his hands on his knees, and spoke just above a whisper. “Allison told me last night about the extra time you’ve spent in prayer. Faithful to seek the Lord for us since this policy fiasco started. I’m not worth the trouble.”
“None of us are. I read from the book of Hosea while I was at Radnor Lake yesterday. God’s people did horrible things—adultery, idol worship, and murder, but the Lord received them back. He pursued them in love—forgave and accepted them.” I closed my eyes for a moment and prayed for God to move in Blake’s heart. “God hasn’t changed. He still takes us back when we mess up. How can I not do the same?”
I shared a few details of my experience at Radnor Lake, and how I’d nearly lost control of my car. I emphasized the likelihood Cheryl’s accident could have happened in a similar way.
Blake shook his head. “There were signs of depression. Comments under her breath.”
“But is there a possibility, during the two or three hours from the time she left the house until the accident, she may have prayed and decided you were correct? That she needed help?”
He clasped his hands together and placed them in his lap. “Our family is and has always been seatbelt freaks. We buckle up 100-percent of the time. But she wasn’t wearing hers at the time of the accident.”
My arms tingled and I remembered my seatbelt. I told Blake how I’d unbuckled it to go for a walk and decided the weather was too chilly. I got back in my car, read my Bible, and prayed. “After I drove off, I realized my belt wasn’t hooked. I tried to buckle up. That’s when I nearly drove off the road. If the roads were wet and slippery, getting dark, her situation may have been similar.”
“She was also driving too fast.”
“Perhaps in a moment of panic she hit the gas when she tried to break.”
He stared at the floor.
“I believe God will give you peace regarding whatever happened if you’ll trust Him and forgive yourself.” I stood. “I’ll be right back.”
I zipped into the bedroom and brought out the bouquet. I placed the vase on the coffee table next to the package Blake brought and looked at him with tears in my eyes. “These are for you.” I returned to the sofa.
Without moving, he gazed at the roses for a couple of minutes. Will he again tell me, it’s too late?
Blake stood, shuffled over to where I sat, and knelt to the right of me. He put his head on the couch and wept. He asked the Lord for forgiveness.
I placed my hand over my mouth to muffle my cries and rocked back and forth.
No doubt in my mind. I sensed the Lord moved deeply in Blake. I prayed quietly along with him and gave him the space and time he needed.
After nearly ten minutes, Blake pulled away from the sofa, took the package from the coffee table, and offered the gift to me. “This is you.”
“You mean this is for me?” I straightened.
“This is you. How would you describe this package?”
I chuckled. “The bottle of Jack Daniels.” A few months earlier, Blake sent me out to buy a bottle of Jack Daniels for a retiree. He didn’t specify whiskey, so I bought barbeque sauce. He in return brought me a lovely wrapped present with only a handwritten note inside.
“This is a beautifully wrapped gift. Extremely lovely on the outside.” I shook the box. “Heavier than the one you brought me with a piece of paper inside. Is there a rock in here?”
“Open it.” He moved from the floor to take his place next to me on the sofa.
I carefully unwrapped the blue and white striped package. My hands trembled. “Oh.” I tipped my head back for a moment and closed my eyes. “Beautiful on the inside too.” Kintsugi—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. He remembered something I’d shared with him three months earlier during our difficult days. I looked deep into his eyes. “A gift I will treasure forever.”
There. The twinkle he worked hard to disguise this past week. His eyes crinkled, and his smile deepened.
He took the bowl in his hands and gazed into my eyes. “This is you. After all the pain and heartache, you’re more beautiful to me than before. Your Christ-like love, which I don’t deserve, makes you more valuable and precious than I ever imagined. I love you with almost everything in me.”
My heart raced. I moved my hand to my chest. “Almost?” I whispered.
“I believe tonight, I gave God my everything.”
Chapter 19
O
n Friday morning, I arrived at the office with a new song in my heart. Blake fell in love with the Lord all over again. I thought back to the time three months earlier when I’d first asked the Lord to release me from BCH. Now, I was thankful I stayed and could share in this blessing.
Blake planned to take most of the day off but said he’d stop by early for a few minutes.
He strode past me with a bounce in his step when he arrived at 8:15.
I followed him into his office, and we stood in front of his desk. I told him that in addition to informing Miranda, I’d emailed my resignation to Chad that morning and would tell Tauni and Beth too.
“What about Wes?” Blake moved to the other side of his desk, sat, and logged into his computer.
“He’s out of the office this week. I didn’t want to bother him.”
He turned to face me and tapped a pen repeatedly on top of a file folder opened on his desk. “I need to apologize to him.” He rubbed his hand across his mouth. “Schedule a time Monday morning for me to meet with Wes here in my office.”
On Blake’s way out, at 9:00, he asked me to pray. His major errand was Eliza’s house to break off their engagement. She expected Blake to buy her a diamond today, not end their relationship. He was concerned with her reaction and said she sometimes gets nasty. I bit my tongue. No need to tell me something I knew. Poor Eliza. I did feel a tiny bit sorry for her.
He also asked me to meet him at Allison’s at 1:00 p.m. She expected him, but he wanted my arrival to be a surprise.
I took the stairs down to the second floor to visit Tauni and told her that I’d resigned. Tears puddled in her eyes. She thanked me for being a good friend, perhaps her best. We talked about continuing our weekly time together and how she would be a viable candidate to take my place as Blake’s executive assistant.
Tauni shook her head. “I could never be you.” She stuck out her lower lip.
I reached down and hugged her. “You better not be me,” I whispered. “He can be your boss, but I won’t share him in any other way.”
She pulled away and straightened. “What? You mean?” Her eyes widened. “The two of you?”
I raised my index finger to my mouth to quiet her. “Seems that way. Don’t tell anyone yet. He’s breaking off his engagement with Eliza now.”
“He needs lots of prayer to get out of there alive.” She bowed her head and appeared to pray. When she finished, she gave me a thumbs up. “That should do it.”
I laughed. “He asked me to pray for him when he left. Now he’s received double prayer power.”
“No ring?” She glanced at my left hand.
“He hasn’t officially proposed, but I think he will soon. I didn’t plan to tell anyone, but I blabbed to you in a weak moment.”
“Your secret’s safe. Thanks for confiding in me. I’m happy for you both.” Her gaze darted to the corner of the room. “But Blake won’t want me as his assistant. I’ve messed up too many times.” She looked at me and down at her lap. “He must think I’m a bimbo.”
“Not at all. You inspired him. He recently said, if God can change Tauni’s heart, there may be hope for me too.”
She lifted her head and her eyes sparkled.
I beamed and leaned toward her. “His hope came last night.”
“He prayed last night like I did at the women’s conference in October?”
I nodded.
We talked a few more minutes before I returned to my office to call Beth who’d taken the week off to spend time with her family. I told her that I’d given my two-week’s notice. I didn’t have time to share any details. Her youngest grandchild insisted she play hide and seek.
Blake called at 10:00. “Eliza took the news hard. She didn’t cry much, but she screamed a lot and threw a few things.”
“I hope you’re okay.” I lowered my voice. “I think something’s going down here. Walt was in the hallway a couple of minutes ago. Miranda was yelling, but I thought she was off through next week.”
“Maybe the board’s reviewing the new policy again and called her in. I’ll call Chad. Don’t worry. I’ll let you know what’s going on. See you at 1:00?”
“Why do you want me there?”
“I think you’ll enjoy my family’s response when I tell them that I broke off my engagement with Eliza. Also, I plan to tell them what happened to me last night and apologize for being a goofus of a dad.”
I chuckled. “Sounds like one of Allison’s names for Andy.” I paused. “Lance is here too. And Chad. And that fancy dressed lawyer I see from time to time, Mr. Samuels.”
“Samuels is there?” He sighed. “I’ll ask Chad about him too.”
We ended our call, and I finalized a letter Blake wanted finished before I left for the day.
A few minutes later, Chad entered our suite looking for Blake. I told him that Blake planned to call him soon but took the rest of the day off. Chad requested a meeting with Blake and me at 2:30, if possible, to discuss an important matter.
I left the office at 11:30 and rushed home to grab a bite to eat and relax a bit before I drove to Allison’s.
When I arrived at Allison’s at 1:00, Blake’s car was parked in front of the house.
Zoey answered the door. “Finally. I’m happy to see you,” she whispered. “But Blake’s here too.”
“I saw his car.” I followed Zoey through the foyer, past the dining room and into the living room which joined an empty open kitchen/eating area. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re in Allison’s bedroom having a family conference. She pointed to a room behind the fireplace. You can join me on the sofa or sit on the loveseat, and we’ll wait together.”
I sat in the middle of the sofa which was positioned in front of four windows. Zoey was next to me on my left. I asked her how she felt and what fun things they’d done since their arrival in Nashville. She mentioned the Grand Ole Opry and shopping.
The bedroom door squeaked open, and Allison appeared with a paper notebook in her hand. “Keedryn. I wasn’t expecting you. I’m happy you’re here but surprised.” She shuffled back a couple of steps. “Dad’s here too.” Worry lines formed across her forehead. “Maybe you should come back another time. We’re having a family discussion in my room.”
“I’m fine, Allison. You finish up while I visit with Zoey.”
Blake and Andy followed her out. Blake stood next to the fireplace, and Andy sat on the floor in front of Zoey.
Blake focused on Allison. “Let’s talk out here. Keedryn and Zoey should be included in our conversation.”
Allison frowned and settled in on the loveseat. “What’s going on here, Dad? I love Keedryn, and I’m happy to see her, but why bring her in on something this sensitive regarding our family?”
I stood. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”
Blake moved to my side and touched my arm. “Yes. You should.” He glanced around the room at his family gathered together. “I asked Keedryn to join us. I need to tell you all that earlier today I broke off my engagement with Eliza.”
I expected cheers but saw blank expressions except for a grin on Zoey’s face. What was going on? My chest felt heavy. Something was wrong. What took place in Allison’s room?
Allison stood. “I don’t understand why you asked her to marry you in the first place. You of all people should have known what she was capable of.”
My eyes darted back and forth between Blake and Allison. What did Eliza do?
Blake sat on my right and held my hand. “I never planned to marry Eliza. She pestered me about getting engaged. I thought if I made it official, you and Wes would get together, and I would tell Eliza the wedding was off.” He brushed his thumb over mine. “I never expected her to insist on a wedding date in January. I thought I had several months to see what happened between you and Wes.”
Blake looked at Allison. “Give Keedryn the journal so she can read aloud what we read.” He spoke with compassion.
She tapped her fingernails against the cover of the notebook. “Are you sure you want her to know this? I don’t want to scare her away.”
“She’ll be fine. She and Zoey need to know.”
I stepped over to where Allison sat, took the journal from her outstretched arms, and peered at Blake. “What am I reading?”
He moved over in front of the fireplace again and motioned for me to stand next to him. “This was Cheryl’s journal beginning four months before she died. We’re reading an entry from two months later, so two months before her accident.”
My hands shook. I was asked to read something personal and possibly emotional. I took a deep breath. I read an entry dated January 8: “I’m broken. Eliza’s been telling me if I don’t come out of this hole, I will lose Blake forever. I’ve not been a good wife. I hate feeling like this. Ugly. Unloved. Which until now was stupid because he’s given me no reason to feel that way. He’s always spoken encouraging words and told me that he loves me. I try to smile and act happy. But something’s wrong. Eliza said she thinks he’s been unfaithful to me. She’s told me this for a couple of months. Today what she told me left me numb. I’ve lost him to her.”
I stopped reading. My heart broke for a woman whom I’d never met. I glanced up from the journal and scanned the room. Blake nudged me to continue.
“Eliza wept when she confessed to me today. Blake made a move on her, and in her weakness, she gave in to his advances. She apologized over and over. I forgave her. But I can’t forgive Blake. I didn’t think he’d betray me. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I looked from Blake to Allison to Andy, but they all stared at the floor. Andy picked at the carpet.
This can’t be true. “Despicable lies.” I spoke from my heart.
Allison shuffled over and hugged me. “I admire your faith in Dad. I believe Eliza’s accusations to be false because I witnessed his love for Mom, and because I know Eliza and what she’s capable of.” She returned to the loveseat.
Blake whispered in my ear. “I know you haven’t asked. But for the record, you’re correct. I did not have an affair with that woman. There was no physical contact or emotional connection between us.” He gazed into my eyes. “I was never unfaithful to Cheryl.”
“I believe you,” I whispered.
Poor Cheryl. Eliza lied and convinced her that she wasn’t a good wife and that Blake had been unfaithful. Deception. Evil. I returned to the sofa next to Zoey, thumbed through the journal, and peered at Allison. “The entries must be difficult to read. How many journals are there? And how many have you read?”
“I’ve skimmed several. Her older journals are filled with family and love. I didn’t find any signs of depression until the September before she died. What we read today was the most emotional. There’s been moodiness before this but not the hopelessness.”
I stood to return the journal to Allison and flipped to the back. I noticed the date on the final entry. February 13. Three weeks before Cheryl’s accident. “Is there another one after February 13?” I returned to the sofa.
Blake nodded. “I believe so. I seem to remember her writing on into March. I’ll keep searching.”
The family discussed the troubling information from the journal for several minutes. Allison agreed to let them know if she came across other entries that might shed light on how Cheryl suffered.
Blake hung his head. “I can’t believe I became engaged to that woman.” He focused on his family. “I’m sorry for putting you all through what I have these past couple of weeks with Eliza.”
Blake again took a seat on my right. He asked me to share my story from Wednesday’s visit to the lake. When I finished, Andy and Allison appeared relieved. They both thanked me. Blake told the family that he believed Cheryl may have been on her way home that evening. An accident like the police report stated.
He stood again and looked at each person individually. “I’m sorry Jim’s at work and Tim’s with his other grandparents and not able to be with us today. But I’m thankful you are all here to be a part of my next announcement.” He glanced at me, smiled, and looked again at Allison and Andy. “I rededicated my life to the Lord last night.”
Allison jumped up, grabbed his neck, squealed, and smothered him in kisses. “Daddy, I’m excited. I want to hear how this happened.” She raised her hands and moved back to the loveseat.
“I’m sorry I wandered far away from God since your mom’s death. I hope to do better being the dad and grandpa I should have been all along. I owe a lot to the persistence of this beautiful woman here.” He took a couple of steps toward me and extended his hand. He led me to the center of the room and faced me—his blue eyes glimmered.
“Keedryn, since you came into my life, I have been a torn man. You drove me crazy with all your God talk and your sweet spirit. I especially liked the way you flirted when you tried hard not to. Your spunk and feistiness have been my favorite companions these past several months. I love you more than life itself.” He grinned. “Except for God. He’s first.”
He moved down on one knee and pulled out a ring. “Will you marry me even though you know what you’re getting yourself into?”
I could see Allison out of the corner of my eye. She stood and held her hands on her chest. I gazed deep into Blake’s eyes staring up at me. “I believe my coming to work for BCH was a part of God’s plan for both of us.” I rubbed my arms. “I fell in love with you with the touch of your hand on top of mine during a moment of turbulence on our trip to New Mexico.” I bit at my lower lip. “Probably a sign from God to expect more in the future.”
“Have you ever read the book of Hosea?”
He nodded and stared at the wall above my head. “Although the temptation has been strong, the Lord always gives me a way of escape.” He peered at me. “Eliza is relentless. You must pray for me constantly.” He leaned forward, placed his hands on his knees, and spoke just above a whisper. “Allison told me last night about the extra time you’ve spent in prayer. Faithful to seek the Lord for us since this policy fiasco started. I’m not worth the trouble.”
“None of us are. I read from the book of Hosea while I was at Radnor Lake yesterday. God’s people did horrible things—adultery, idol worship, and murder, but the Lord received them back. He pursued them in love—forgave and accepted them.” I closed my eyes for a moment and prayed for God to move in Blake’s heart. “God hasn’t changed. He still takes us back when we mess up. How can I not do the same?”
I shared a few details of my experience at Radnor Lake, and how I’d nearly lost control of my car. I emphasized the likelihood Cheryl’s accident could have happened in a similar way.
Blake shook his head. “There were signs of depression. Comments under her breath.”
“But is there a possibility, during the two or three hours from the time she left the house until the accident, she may have prayed and decided you were correct? That she needed help?”
He clasped his hands together and placed them in his lap. “Our family is and has always been seatbelt freaks. We buckle up 100-percent of the time. But she wasn’t wearing hers at the time of the accident.”
My arms tingled and I remembered my seatbelt. I told Blake how I’d unbuckled it to go for a walk and decided the weather was too chilly. I got back in my car, read my Bible, and prayed. “After I drove off, I realized my belt wasn’t hooked. I tried to buckle up. That’s when I nearly drove off the road. If the roads were wet and slippery, getting dark, her situation may have been similar.”
“She was also driving too fast.”
“Perhaps in a moment of panic she hit the gas when she tried to break.”
He stared at the floor.
“I believe God will give you peace regarding whatever happened if you’ll trust Him and forgive yourself.” I stood. “I’ll be right back.”
I zipped into the bedroom and brought out the bouquet. I placed the vase on the coffee table next to the package Blake brought and looked at him with tears in my eyes. “These are for you.” I returned to the sofa.
Without moving, he gazed at the roses for a couple of minutes. Will he again tell me, it’s too late?
Blake stood, shuffled over to where I sat, and knelt to the right of me. He put his head on the couch and wept. He asked the Lord for forgiveness.
I placed my hand over my mouth to muffle my cries and rocked back and forth.
No doubt in my mind. I sensed the Lord moved deeply in Blake. I prayed quietly along with him and gave him the space and time he needed.
After nearly ten minutes, Blake pulled away from the sofa, took the package from the coffee table, and offered the gift to me. “This is you.”
“You mean this is for me?” I straightened.
“This is you. How would you describe this package?”
I chuckled. “The bottle of Jack Daniels.” A few months earlier, Blake sent me out to buy a bottle of Jack Daniels for a retiree. He didn’t specify whiskey, so I bought barbeque sauce. He in return brought me a lovely wrapped present with only a handwritten note inside.
“This is a beautifully wrapped gift. Extremely lovely on the outside.” I shook the box. “Heavier than the one you brought me with a piece of paper inside. Is there a rock in here?”
“Open it.” He moved from the floor to take his place next to me on the sofa.
I carefully unwrapped the blue and white striped package. My hands trembled. “Oh.” I tipped my head back for a moment and closed my eyes. “Beautiful on the inside too.” Kintsugi—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. He remembered something I’d shared with him three months earlier during our difficult days. I looked deep into his eyes. “A gift I will treasure forever.”
There. The twinkle he worked hard to disguise this past week. His eyes crinkled, and his smile deepened.
He took the bowl in his hands and gazed into my eyes. “This is you. After all the pain and heartache, you’re more beautiful to me than before. Your Christ-like love, which I don’t deserve, makes you more valuable and precious than I ever imagined. I love you with almost everything in me.”
My heart raced. I moved my hand to my chest. “Almost?” I whispered.
“I believe tonight, I gave God my everything.”
Chapter 19
O
n Friday morning, I arrived at the office with a new song in my heart. Blake fell in love with the Lord all over again. I thought back to the time three months earlier when I’d first asked the Lord to release me from BCH. Now, I was thankful I stayed and could share in this blessing.
Blake planned to take most of the day off but said he’d stop by early for a few minutes.
He strode past me with a bounce in his step when he arrived at 8:15.
I followed him into his office, and we stood in front of his desk. I told him that in addition to informing Miranda, I’d emailed my resignation to Chad that morning and would tell Tauni and Beth too.
“What about Wes?” Blake moved to the other side of his desk, sat, and logged into his computer.
“He’s out of the office this week. I didn’t want to bother him.”
He turned to face me and tapped a pen repeatedly on top of a file folder opened on his desk. “I need to apologize to him.” He rubbed his hand across his mouth. “Schedule a time Monday morning for me to meet with Wes here in my office.”
On Blake’s way out, at 9:00, he asked me to pray. His major errand was Eliza’s house to break off their engagement. She expected Blake to buy her a diamond today, not end their relationship. He was concerned with her reaction and said she sometimes gets nasty. I bit my tongue. No need to tell me something I knew. Poor Eliza. I did feel a tiny bit sorry for her.
He also asked me to meet him at Allison’s at 1:00 p.m. She expected him, but he wanted my arrival to be a surprise.
I took the stairs down to the second floor to visit Tauni and told her that I’d resigned. Tears puddled in her eyes. She thanked me for being a good friend, perhaps her best. We talked about continuing our weekly time together and how she would be a viable candidate to take my place as Blake’s executive assistant.
Tauni shook her head. “I could never be you.” She stuck out her lower lip.
I reached down and hugged her. “You better not be me,” I whispered. “He can be your boss, but I won’t share him in any other way.”
She pulled away and straightened. “What? You mean?” Her eyes widened. “The two of you?”
I raised my index finger to my mouth to quiet her. “Seems that way. Don’t tell anyone yet. He’s breaking off his engagement with Eliza now.”
“He needs lots of prayer to get out of there alive.” She bowed her head and appeared to pray. When she finished, she gave me a thumbs up. “That should do it.”
I laughed. “He asked me to pray for him when he left. Now he’s received double prayer power.”
“No ring?” She glanced at my left hand.
“He hasn’t officially proposed, but I think he will soon. I didn’t plan to tell anyone, but I blabbed to you in a weak moment.”
“Your secret’s safe. Thanks for confiding in me. I’m happy for you both.” Her gaze darted to the corner of the room. “But Blake won’t want me as his assistant. I’ve messed up too many times.” She looked at me and down at her lap. “He must think I’m a bimbo.”
“Not at all. You inspired him. He recently said, if God can change Tauni’s heart, there may be hope for me too.”
She lifted her head and her eyes sparkled.
I beamed and leaned toward her. “His hope came last night.”
“He prayed last night like I did at the women’s conference in October?”
I nodded.
We talked a few more minutes before I returned to my office to call Beth who’d taken the week off to spend time with her family. I told her that I’d given my two-week’s notice. I didn’t have time to share any details. Her youngest grandchild insisted she play hide and seek.
Blake called at 10:00. “Eliza took the news hard. She didn’t cry much, but she screamed a lot and threw a few things.”
“I hope you’re okay.” I lowered my voice. “I think something’s going down here. Walt was in the hallway a couple of minutes ago. Miranda was yelling, but I thought she was off through next week.”
“Maybe the board’s reviewing the new policy again and called her in. I’ll call Chad. Don’t worry. I’ll let you know what’s going on. See you at 1:00?”
“Why do you want me there?”
“I think you’ll enjoy my family’s response when I tell them that I broke off my engagement with Eliza. Also, I plan to tell them what happened to me last night and apologize for being a goofus of a dad.”
I chuckled. “Sounds like one of Allison’s names for Andy.” I paused. “Lance is here too. And Chad. And that fancy dressed lawyer I see from time to time, Mr. Samuels.”
“Samuels is there?” He sighed. “I’ll ask Chad about him too.”
We ended our call, and I finalized a letter Blake wanted finished before I left for the day.
A few minutes later, Chad entered our suite looking for Blake. I told him that Blake planned to call him soon but took the rest of the day off. Chad requested a meeting with Blake and me at 2:30, if possible, to discuss an important matter.
I left the office at 11:30 and rushed home to grab a bite to eat and relax a bit before I drove to Allison’s.
When I arrived at Allison’s at 1:00, Blake’s car was parked in front of the house.
Zoey answered the door. “Finally. I’m happy to see you,” she whispered. “But Blake’s here too.”
“I saw his car.” I followed Zoey through the foyer, past the dining room and into the living room which joined an empty open kitchen/eating area. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re in Allison’s bedroom having a family conference. She pointed to a room behind the fireplace. You can join me on the sofa or sit on the loveseat, and we’ll wait together.”
I sat in the middle of the sofa which was positioned in front of four windows. Zoey was next to me on my left. I asked her how she felt and what fun things they’d done since their arrival in Nashville. She mentioned the Grand Ole Opry and shopping.
The bedroom door squeaked open, and Allison appeared with a paper notebook in her hand. “Keedryn. I wasn’t expecting you. I’m happy you’re here but surprised.” She shuffled back a couple of steps. “Dad’s here too.” Worry lines formed across her forehead. “Maybe you should come back another time. We’re having a family discussion in my room.”
“I’m fine, Allison. You finish up while I visit with Zoey.”
Blake and Andy followed her out. Blake stood next to the fireplace, and Andy sat on the floor in front of Zoey.
Blake focused on Allison. “Let’s talk out here. Keedryn and Zoey should be included in our conversation.”
Allison frowned and settled in on the loveseat. “What’s going on here, Dad? I love Keedryn, and I’m happy to see her, but why bring her in on something this sensitive regarding our family?”
I stood. “Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”
Blake moved to my side and touched my arm. “Yes. You should.” He glanced around the room at his family gathered together. “I asked Keedryn to join us. I need to tell you all that earlier today I broke off my engagement with Eliza.”
I expected cheers but saw blank expressions except for a grin on Zoey’s face. What was going on? My chest felt heavy. Something was wrong. What took place in Allison’s room?
Allison stood. “I don’t understand why you asked her to marry you in the first place. You of all people should have known what she was capable of.”
My eyes darted back and forth between Blake and Allison. What did Eliza do?
Blake sat on my right and held my hand. “I never planned to marry Eliza. She pestered me about getting engaged. I thought if I made it official, you and Wes would get together, and I would tell Eliza the wedding was off.” He brushed his thumb over mine. “I never expected her to insist on a wedding date in January. I thought I had several months to see what happened between you and Wes.”
Blake looked at Allison. “Give Keedryn the journal so she can read aloud what we read.” He spoke with compassion.
She tapped her fingernails against the cover of the notebook. “Are you sure you want her to know this? I don’t want to scare her away.”
“She’ll be fine. She and Zoey need to know.”
I stepped over to where Allison sat, took the journal from her outstretched arms, and peered at Blake. “What am I reading?”
He moved over in front of the fireplace again and motioned for me to stand next to him. “This was Cheryl’s journal beginning four months before she died. We’re reading an entry from two months later, so two months before her accident.”
My hands shook. I was asked to read something personal and possibly emotional. I took a deep breath. I read an entry dated January 8: “I’m broken. Eliza’s been telling me if I don’t come out of this hole, I will lose Blake forever. I’ve not been a good wife. I hate feeling like this. Ugly. Unloved. Which until now was stupid because he’s given me no reason to feel that way. He’s always spoken encouraging words and told me that he loves me. I try to smile and act happy. But something’s wrong. Eliza said she thinks he’s been unfaithful to me. She’s told me this for a couple of months. Today what she told me left me numb. I’ve lost him to her.”
I stopped reading. My heart broke for a woman whom I’d never met. I glanced up from the journal and scanned the room. Blake nudged me to continue.
“Eliza wept when she confessed to me today. Blake made a move on her, and in her weakness, she gave in to his advances. She apologized over and over. I forgave her. But I can’t forgive Blake. I didn’t think he’d betray me. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I looked from Blake to Allison to Andy, but they all stared at the floor. Andy picked at the carpet.
This can’t be true. “Despicable lies.” I spoke from my heart.
Allison shuffled over and hugged me. “I admire your faith in Dad. I believe Eliza’s accusations to be false because I witnessed his love for Mom, and because I know Eliza and what she’s capable of.” She returned to the loveseat.
Blake whispered in my ear. “I know you haven’t asked. But for the record, you’re correct. I did not have an affair with that woman. There was no physical contact or emotional connection between us.” He gazed into my eyes. “I was never unfaithful to Cheryl.”
“I believe you,” I whispered.
Poor Cheryl. Eliza lied and convinced her that she wasn’t a good wife and that Blake had been unfaithful. Deception. Evil. I returned to the sofa next to Zoey, thumbed through the journal, and peered at Allison. “The entries must be difficult to read. How many journals are there? And how many have you read?”
“I’ve skimmed several. Her older journals are filled with family and love. I didn’t find any signs of depression until the September before she died. What we read today was the most emotional. There’s been moodiness before this but not the hopelessness.”
I stood to return the journal to Allison and flipped to the back. I noticed the date on the final entry. February 13. Three weeks before Cheryl’s accident. “Is there another one after February 13?” I returned to the sofa.
Blake nodded. “I believe so. I seem to remember her writing on into March. I’ll keep searching.”
The family discussed the troubling information from the journal for several minutes. Allison agreed to let them know if she came across other entries that might shed light on how Cheryl suffered.
Blake hung his head. “I can’t believe I became engaged to that woman.” He focused on his family. “I’m sorry for putting you all through what I have these past couple of weeks with Eliza.”
Blake again took a seat on my right. He asked me to share my story from Wednesday’s visit to the lake. When I finished, Andy and Allison appeared relieved. They both thanked me. Blake told the family that he believed Cheryl may have been on her way home that evening. An accident like the police report stated.
He stood again and looked at each person individually. “I’m sorry Jim’s at work and Tim’s with his other grandparents and not able to be with us today. But I’m thankful you are all here to be a part of my next announcement.” He glanced at me, smiled, and looked again at Allison and Andy. “I rededicated my life to the Lord last night.”
Allison jumped up, grabbed his neck, squealed, and smothered him in kisses. “Daddy, I’m excited. I want to hear how this happened.” She raised her hands and moved back to the loveseat.
“I’m sorry I wandered far away from God since your mom’s death. I hope to do better being the dad and grandpa I should have been all along. I owe a lot to the persistence of this beautiful woman here.” He took a couple of steps toward me and extended his hand. He led me to the center of the room and faced me—his blue eyes glimmered.
“Keedryn, since you came into my life, I have been a torn man. You drove me crazy with all your God talk and your sweet spirit. I especially liked the way you flirted when you tried hard not to. Your spunk and feistiness have been my favorite companions these past several months. I love you more than life itself.” He grinned. “Except for God. He’s first.”
He moved down on one knee and pulled out a ring. “Will you marry me even though you know what you’re getting yourself into?”
I could see Allison out of the corner of my eye. She stood and held her hands on her chest. I gazed deep into Blake’s eyes staring up at me. “I believe my coming to work for BCH was a part of God’s plan for both of us.” I rubbed my arms. “I fell in love with you with the touch of your hand on top of mine during a moment of turbulence on our trip to New Mexico.” I bit at my lower lip. “Probably a sign from God to expect more in the future.”
