Jules, page 13
“Thanks,” I said with a nod.
“Look,” Cap ran a hand over his mouth and beard and then took a step closer, putting his hand on my shoulder. “I know you don’t really know any of us right now. This isn’t just hard on you, and I’m not trying to minimize what you went through, but these guys…they were devastated when we found you. Ice and Chris didn’t want to ever leave your side, and we didn’t really think you were going to make it that first night after surgery. Ice still blames himself for what happened to you and Chris was all brooding and dark like he used to be for the whole two weeks you were out of it. All of us are just happy that you’re alive. Hell, even Knight is itching to get you back in the ring. I guess what I’m trying to say is we all love you and we stand by you no matter what.”
“That was beautiful, Cap.” Sinner was standing just a few feet from us, wiping at his eyes like he had been crying.
“Shut the fuck up, Sinner. You know we all felt the same way with you.”
“I don’t know, I don’t think you ever told me you loved me.”
“That’s because everyone already knows that you, Cap, and Maggie were made for each other,” Burg said, walking up to us and slinging an arm around Sinner’s shoulders. “It’s cute really. You’re like three peas in a pod or The Three Musketeers. Harry, Hermione, and Ron.”
“I call Ron,” Sinner smirked. “He gets the girl.”
“I have no problem being Harry. He’s the most powerful wizard; more powerful than Voldemort,” Cap shot back. “And Hermione is the smartest witch, and that fits Freckles to a T.”
“Yeah, but you’d be Porthos if you were a Musketeer. He was the clown,” Burg said to Sinner.
“No way,” Cap shook his head. “Porthos is the one that’s full of useless knowledge.”
“He’s also the fun one, which would definitely be me,” Sinner replied.
Burg walked over to me as they continued to argue about these Musketeers. “See what I mean? They have a special bond that just can’t be broken.”
“Are they really a…trio? Like, sexually?”
He slapped me on the back and grinned. “Wouldn’t we all like to know.” Burg watched with me as my boss and his apparent male lover bickered back and forth like an old married couple. I would have never guessed it, but I guess now that Burg pointed it out, I could see it. They did seem awfully close.
“So, you knocked up the little woman,” Sinner said with a grin.
“Uh…” Shit, I didn’t expect the conversation to turn back to me.
“We all knew it would happen,” Burg said. “I had a bet that you wouldn’t be far behind me. Emma told me that you always had this wanting look in your eyes when you saw Ivy. I never saw it. Now, I’m out a hundred bucks.”
“I don’t really have any memory of that, so I’m sorry you lost a hundred dollars.”
“That’s okay,” Burg brushed it off. “You’ll be paying soon enough.”
Sinner nodded in agreement. “Hell yeah. Swollen ankles, back rubs every fucking hour of the day, braxton hicks contractions-”
“And that’s just what she’s gonna go through. You have to worry about all the other shit. Shit that could potentially put her and your baby at risk,” Burg added.
“Like what?” They were really starting to freak me out here.
“Stairs, ice, garbage bags, slip-on shoes-” Burg ticked off on his fingers, but then Cap jumped in, cutting him off.
“Driving, going places alone, coffee, hair dryers, razors, even the fucking dryer.”
“Why is all this stuff bad?”
All three of them looked at me like I was insane. Maybe I was, but I didn’t see how hair dryers were an immediate threat.
“Guys,” Cap said placatingly. “Let’s remember that he has amnesia. He can’t be blamed for not knowing this shit. First off, anywhere she goes is a potential disaster waiting to happen. Women don’t pay attention to their surroundings. A crack in the concrete, boom! She falls and lands on her side. Pain rips through her abdomen and she can’t get up to call for help. Right now, your baby is in danger and so is she. She could have internal bleeding. The placenta could have detached. She’s lying on the fucking concrete and there’s no one there to help her.”
My eyes were wide as he went on his spiel, but then Sinner joined in and soon they were all talking over each other, spouting about the dangers that were lurking around every corner.
“And those slip-ons are a fucking hazard to society. Pregnant women have no balance. They need stable shoes-”
“And you have to take out the trash. Don’t leave that shit for her to do. She could pull a muscle-”
“One minute, she’s drying her hair and the next, she’s passing out. The hair dryer falls in the fucking tub, and because she’s a woman, she’s already run the bathwater. Now, she’s risking electrocution-”
“All it takes is one nick of the razor-”
“And those stairs are a death trap. Never let her walk down them alone-”
“Dryers are the main cause of house fires. What if she’s sleeping and doesn’t know there’s a fire? How will she get out of the house when she’s too fucking big-”
“Don’t ever tell her she’s too big.”
“Wait.” But they kept throwing advice my way until I felt dizzy. “Shut the fuck up!”
They finally got quiet, but now I had no fucking clue what to say. “Look, I appreciate all the advice, but don’t you guys think you’re going a little overboard with this shit? I mean, a garbage bag? And what are the chances that she’ll try to retrieve a hair dryer out of a tub of water? I’m sure there’s at least someone around here that’s a little more level-headed.”
Knight was walking toward the door and in a moment of panic, I called out to him. Hell, any ally was better than none at all.
“What the fuck do you want?” he asked as he walked over.
“Please, tell these guys that they’re wrong about all their crazy ideas about pregnant women and safety.”
“Yeah, they are wrong. A bunch of dumb fucks, all of them.”
“See?”
“They don’t know what it truly takes to look after their women. Now, when Kate was pregnant, I had a tail on her everywhere she went. You can’t be too careful with that shit. I monitored all her vitamins and when she got gestational diabetes, you bet your ass I was preparing all her meals. All that shit with the cracks in the concrete, that’s all bullshit that you don’t need to worry about. The real threat comes from every single fucking person she comes in contact with. Germs are running rampant everywhere you go. You think a hospital or doctor’s office is safe? That’s the fucking dirtiest place of all.”
“Tell him about the background checks,” Cap urged.
Knight sighed. “That one took a lot of fucking time. I made sure that every single fucker that came within ten yards of her was cleared by me.”
“How?” I asked in astonishment.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’ll forgive your stupidity since you don’t remember your training, but you’d better listen up. You scout every single place she goes and make sure that you have a clear line of sight to every exit. She goes nowhere without some form of protection. Anywhere that she might come in contact with someone that you can’t run a background check on isn’t allowed in her presence.”
“Doesn’t Kate have her own clinic?”
“And every motherfucker was checked by me before they were able to walk through that door. I even had to let one of her staff go because she was related distantly to a criminal.”
“What kind of criminal?”
“Breaking and entering.”
I snorted, but Knight moved into my space, whispering harshly in my ear so that only I could hear. “B & E is dangerous. If they’re willing to break in, they’re willing to kill someone that gets in their way. There’s no mercy when your wife and baby are on the line.”
He stepped back and now I was really fucking terrified. I hadn’t even gone to my first appointment with her and my baby was already in danger. I didn’t know what Ivy was doing or who she was around.
“And this is all before the baby is born. It’s twice as bad once the baby’s born. That’s what our training center is for.” Knight turned to Cap and jerked his chin toward the ring. “Cover for me. I’m gonna take him over to the training center so he can see what needs to be done.”
I was pulled in the direction of the training center without even doing my PT. Cap, Sinner, and Burg watched me like I was headed to the guillotine. And then I had my eyes opened and I was never going back.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ivy
WHEN JULES SHOWED up at my door, I was a little confused. “Didn’t we agree to meet at the clinic?”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen. There are crazy people all over the road. Nobody pays attention to where they’re going and half of them don’t know how to drive. It’s better if I go with you.”
“Are you cleared to drive?”
“Of course.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly. “Just let me grab my purse.”
After I locked up, we headed for the stairs, but just as I was about to walk through the door, Julian placed himself in front of me and turned to face me on the stairs. “Uh, whatcha doin’?”
“Making sure you get down the stairs safely.”
“What do you think is going to happen?”
“You could trip and fall.”
“Yeah, I suppose I could, but I really doubt that would happen.”
“I’m not taking any chances.”
I bit my lip, trying to figure out how this man appeared before me. He wasn’t anything like the man that I had been with at the cabin. This man was a bit too…protective. Shit. “You talked to the guys, didn’t you?”
“So?”
“So, they filled your head with horror stories and now you’re going to be paranoid the rest of the pregnancy.”
“It’s not paranoia. They made some very good points and I listened.”
I sighed and let him lead me down the stairs. I even took his hand when he was afraid I would slip on the tiny drop of water that was on the landing. I didn’t say anything when he helped me into the car or when he checked my seat belt to make sure I had “buckled it right”. Like there’s really a wrong way to buckle a seat belt. I even let it go when he insisted that we take the stairs at the hospital because the elevator cables might snap and make us plummet to our deaths. But when he insisted on a female being my doctor, I lost it.
“Julian, that’s enough. He’s a doctor. He went to medical school and he’s perfectly qualified to take care of me during this pregnancy.”
“He’s a man.”
“I’m glad you remember genders. Now, can we please carry on?”
“He’s not touching you.” Julian turned to the nurse and his face turned dark. “You will find her a female doctor now. She will get the best possible care and I don’t want to hear one complaint from anyone. She’s my woman-”
“No, I’m not.”
“And I will protect her and my child with everything I have.”
Instead of the nurse scowling and getting angry, she actually melted under his stare and blushed. Then she picked up the phone and made some calls. Twenty minutes later, I was in an exam room with a female doctor and Julian.
“The nurses tell me that you have a very devoted father on your hands. You’re a lucky woman. Hold on to this one.”
She patted my hand and I scowled at Julian. I couldn’t believe he was doing this. The last time I saw him, he was an amnesiac that was taking things one day at a time. Now he was turning into an alpha male a-hole that was determined to run my life. I was going to have a talk with him when this was all done and he would see things my way.
The doctor went over all my information and talked to me about what I would experience in the second trimester. Julian took notes like there would be a test at the end of the appointment. He asked so many questions, he could probably write a pregnancy manual.
“Okay, are we ready to get a heartbeat?”
“Yes,” I beamed. I got up on the table, with Julian’s help, of course, and the doctor put some gel across my tiny bump. After swishing the wand around, a loud thumping noise filled the room. I was smiling so wide and was so entranced by the steady beat that I almost missed Julian grasping my hand and squeezing it slightly.
“That’s our baby?” he asked quietly.
“Yep, it’s a good heartbeat, just where we want it.”
The doctor wiped off the gel and Julian helped me sit up, but he held tight to my hand until I had to pry my fingers away so I could get dressed. When we got to his truck, he didn’t start the truck right away. He was staring off in the distance like he had a lot on his mind. So, I waited and waited for him to break the silence.
“That was amazing,” he finally said.
“Yeah, it was pretty incredible. It feels real now.”
He turned toward me and took my hand in his. “I know this has been hard on you and we’re still figuring things out, but I want to be there with you every step of the way.”
“Of course. I would never stop you.”
He looked down at our intertwined fingers and rubbed his thumb across my hand. “This feels like the only thing that’s real. Everything else is a big question mark, but this is happening right now. I may have forgotten the part where we made the baby, but I can experience this whole thing with you. Even if I never remember anything else, I’ll always have this.”
I could feel the heat of his gaze pulling me in. He wound his hand through mine and his hot breath fanned across my face. It felt like before, like when we were together and nothing was between us. His forehead rested against mine, like he was holding back or trying to think about what he wanted. But then his nose brushed lightly against mine and then his lips were on mine. My heart raced as he poured what felt like years worth of wanting into that kiss. It felt like everything changed in that moment. Our future wasn’t certain, but we were so much further than when he woke up in the hospital.
We didn’t talk about the pregnancy the rest of the way to my apartment and I didn’t fight him when he insisted on walking me inside or when he wanted to check the apartment. This was the only thing he could control right now, and I wouldn’t take that away from him.
✯✯✯✯✯
“How was the appointment?” Emma asked as I walked through the door.
“It was great. I heard the heartbeat and it was…so amazing.”
“Did Jules go in the room with you?”
My wide smile practically cracked my face. “Not only did he come in the room with me, but he was taking notes on everything the doctor said. And when we heard the heartbeat, he grabbed my hand and held on for dear life.”
Emma placed her hand across her chest as she gasped. “I can’t believe it. Jules is going to be a father. I never thought I would see the day, let alone see him excited about it.”
“I wasn’t sure how it would go either, but he really shocked me. After all the uncertainty, this was exactly what I had hoped for, but never thought would happen.”
“Well, it seems that even if Jules can’t remember his time with you, he’s definitely coming around to the idea of being with you.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I can’t get my hopes up for more. We agreed to take this one step at a time. This is our time to get to know each other.”
She waved me off and picked up some books to shelve. “I don’t care what he says. You guys are meant to be together. I knew it from the day that you two were screwing on our apartment floor.”
“Why?”
“Remember I asked you if what you had was going to be serious? Well, I saw the look on Jules face. When you said you were just screwing around, he looked disappointed in your answer. And then I asked if you guys wanted to come with us to get a Christmas tree and he practically jumped at the opportunity to spend more time with you.”
“Why didn’t I see that?”
“Because you were too busy trying to pretend that he meant nothing to you.”
I rolled my eyes at her. She’d been telling me for two years that Julian and I would end up together and I never believed her. In fact, I insisted that she was crazy if she thought that Julian and I would ever be more. But I really had felt that way for a long time. I had enjoyed our time together, but I never considered more. After six months, I started craving more, but didn’t allow myself to really think about it.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re in a completely different place now and I can’t think about the what-ifs.”
I walked into the bakery, essentially cutting off our conversation. But Emma was tenacious and I wouldn’t be able to hold her off forever. There were several boxes stacked in the back on the bakery table. Opening them, I saw it was a delivery that I had forgotten I had to deliver by noon.
“Emma, I forgot I have to deliver these pastries. They’re for a meeting and I have to run them over now. Can you watch the bakery a little longer?”
“Of course.”
I grabbed the boxes and my purse and quickly got in my car. If I was lucky, I would get there with a half hour to spare. I really didn’t like cutting things so close. I glanced at the address again and pulled onto the road. It took me ten minutes to find the road I needed to be on, but I made the mistake of turning right and had to pull over to make sure that I really had gone the wrong way. I checked the address again and even checked it on my phone. Sure enough, I had gone the wrong way. I pulled a u-ey and made it to the address just a few minutes later than I wanted to.
I apologized profusely to the secretary, but she waved me off and said she still had plenty of time to set up. Still, I felt horrible about how close I had cut it. When I got back to the bookshop, I got to work and was run ragged by the end of the day. Sometimes I wondered if running the coffee/bakery part of the store was what I really wanted to be doing, but I also didn’t have many other options if I wanted to stay hidden from the media.
