Rock God, page 15
“Thank you.” Devyn grinned and took off behind Presley, chatting amiably and leaving me feeling out of sorts.
“Hey, guys.” Z waved. “You goin’ for a new look, Dev?”
Kellan let out a low whistle. “Damn, Dev—you clean up nice!”
“Thanks, guys. And no, it was just a meeting Greatty and I went to this morning. I’ll be back in jeans and Doc Martens as soon as I get home.”
“Well, you look gorgeous,” Sasha said. “Maybe we’ll do a rock and roll version of that for a future album cover. The guys in suits but without shirts under their jackets, something funky like that.”
“But I would wear a shirt, right?” Devyn deadpanned.
Everyone laughed but me.
Hearing her mention not wearing a shirt reminded me of her breasts.
The way they’d felt in my hands.
The way they’d looked as her pale nipples pebbled when I touched them.
The way they’d fucking tasted in my mouth.
My cock twitched, and I hurried over to the sideboard to pour myself a cup of coffee.
Jesus fucking Christ, this was ridiculous.
I wasn’t a kid.
I could get laid any time of the day or night.
Literally almost anywhere.
And I was acting like a lovesick teenager.
22
Devyn
I’d figured the guys would give me a little shit about my corporate-looking suit, but I hadn’t expected everyone to make such a big deal out of how I looked. I did enjoy being girlie sometimes, and the way Kingston had stared at me made me realize I needed to do it more often. The look in his eyes had been that of a monster scoping out his prey.
And that was me.
I was the prey.
And fuck if I didn’t like the idea of him coming after me.
Bad, Devyn.
I’d been such a bad girl over the weekend.
In the best possible way.
I smiled as I poured myself a glass of sangria, hoping the alcohol would settle my nerves. I felt like I was on display even though everyone was being nice. It felt good to be the center of attention, but it reminded me of a time when that had been a bad thing.
Onyx Knight wasn’t Lace and Venom, I reminded myself.
“Okay, guys. Let’s dive in.” Sasha opened her laptop. “First—we have an opening act. We’re going with Crimson Edge.”
“Who?” I asked, since it sounded familiar but I couldn’t remember from where.
“That’s Presley’s friend Sam’s band,” Z said. “If you read her e-zine, she’s done some stories on them and we listened to their demo tape just before we brought you on. Sorry—I guess we forgot to clue you in that they were one of the options if Nobody’s Fool was unavailable.”
“Oh, no problem. And yes, that’s where I’ve heard of them. I read Presley’s story about their struggle to get a foothold in the industry, and her review of the single they released. I meant to listen to it but forgot.”
“I think they’re a good fit,” Sasha said. “And they’re hungry. Hopefully, the audiences will pick up on that energy.”
“I liked the music a lot,” Kingston said. “I agree they’re a good fit.”
“And we’re a go with Kirsten,” Sasha said. “She’ll be joining us for four weeks. The first week she’s not back in school from the winter break anyway, and she’ll be able to keep up with her studies remotely the rest of the time.”
“Awesome!” Kingston said. “This will be good for her, and it’ll be fun to switch things up on our end too.”
“Who’s going to chaperone her?” Z asked.
Sasha chuckled. “Apparently, me. I’m going to drop my own child off with my mom and stepdad, and become a glorified band manager/babysitter for a month.”
We all chuckled.
“Your hubby’s cool with you being gone a month?” Kellan asked.
“Well, first of all, it’s work, so yes, he’s cool with it. Second, he’s on a two-week road trip in January anyway. And he’ll meet me in Europe during the All-Star break unless he’s chosen. If that happens, I’ll pick up Phoenix and meet up with him in Detroit.”
She went on to go over a handful of logistics about the tour.
“Now, you’re going to need a roadie,” she said to me. “Z suggested Noah. He was a roadie for Stu and Nobody’s Fool but started working as a sound engineer for Hart Studios in Vegas after his wife had a baby. I don’t know why he’s looking to go back on tour right now, but he is. You interested?”
I’d never had my own personal roadie before, so I hesitated. “I hadn’t thought about it,” I admitted, “but I guess I need someone. I assume you guys like him.”
“He’s a good guy,” Z said, nodding.
“Dorian also sent me an email last night that the band has been invited to play during Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.”
“Oh, hell.” Z made a face. “Really? I gotta be away from my family on a holiday and freezing my ass off in Manhattan, playing outside?”
“I think it’s a great idea,” Tommy said, interrupting him. “Stop acting like an old man.”
“I’m not old,” Z protested. “I’m just a family man now.”
“These are the years you can miss,” Sasha said softly. “Jeremy’s still too young to remember. It’s later you’re going to need to be around, because he’ll be old enough to notice you’re not there. He’s not even going to know it’s Thanksgiving this year.”
“I guess there’s that.”
“You can say no,” Sasha said after a moment, shrugging. “Talk about it after I leave and get back to Dorian. But they need to know by tomorrow.”
“New York City on Thanksgiving,” I said thoughtfully. “That sounds awesome.”
“You’re not helping,” Z said to me, pretending to glare.
“Sorry. I’ve never been there for the parade, and it’s on my bucket list. But I’ll go with the majority.”
“We should do it,” Kingston said. “We’re in a rebuilding phase after losing Carter. Any and all publicity will help us move past the stigma of his suicide because people outside of the industry consider him just one more casualty of the rock and roll curse. Another druggie who overdosed, you know? This way, we start redirecting the dialogue.”
“We’ve also been invited to Paris Fashion Week by Alexa Humboldt.” Sasha gazed over at me. “She wants the band to play during one of her shows and for Devyn to potentially wear something she designs especially for that. I think it’s something we could really work with now that there’s a woman in the band.”
I shook my head. “I’m no model.”
“No, but imagine the exposure the band would get by performing during Fashion Week. It’s a huge deal. And it could potentially give you something of your own, that adds to your allure. The band and their music are established. We know this. Then we bring in this gorgeous, talented new bass player—who also… models rock and roll-styled designs for Alexa Humboldt. My mom used to wear her designs back in the day, when Alexa was just getting started. She created rock-themed dresses for her.”
“That sounds awesome,” Presley said when no one else spoke.
“If you guys think it’s a good idea, why not?” I said slowly.
What else could I say?
The idea of modeling for someone like Alexa Humboldt was as terrifying as it was exciting.
But the past couple of days had shown me I was up for almost anything.
There was a lot going on in my life, and I hadn’t spoken to my friend Jesse in weeks. Not since I’d gotten the gig with Onyx Knight. I’d told her about it, and we texted a couple of times a week, but we hadn’t really talked, so I took the opportunity to call her as I was driving home from Z’s. I was meeting Kingston for dinner, but I needed to change first.
“Well, hey, stranger!” She sounded breathless, as if she’d been running.
“This a bad time?” I asked.
“Nah. I’m on the treadmill.”
“You need to go?”
“It’s fine as long as you don’t mind me huffing and puffing in your ear.”
“It’s all good.” I paused. “So, guess what!”
“What?”
“I might be in the city for Thanksgiving. The band was invited to perform during the parade.” I didn’t need to specify which parade; any New Yorker knew what I was talking about on Thanksgiving.
“Oh, hell yes! Can I be your assistant for the day?”
“I don’t know if I get one, but I’ll find a way to get you there.”
“This is super exciting,” she said. “Why don’t you sound enthused?”
“Because I have a crush on my singer and we… slept together.”
“You slept with Kingston Knight?” Her voice was so high it was almost a squeal.
“I did. And it was so fucking hot I’m wet just thinking about it.”
“Holy shit. Tell me fucking everything.”
I gave her most of the details, including our talk the next day, and she was quiet for a while.
“Ugh. I want to tell you to go for it, but you have a point. This is a huge opportunity for you and short-term, he has all the power. Technically, this is still a tryout, even if they’re not framing it that way, right? The eight-week tour is a test for all of you to make sure it’s going to work out, so even if they haven’t said so, they could still decide to fire you.”
“No one has put it quite that way, but yes. The contract I signed literally says that I get benefits and pay through the last day of the upcoming limited-date European tour, up to and including any dates added at the last minute. We negotiate a new contract after that.”
“That’s what bothers me. If things go wrong, Kingston can literally kick you to the curb.”
“I mean, he can do that anyway. Any of them can, since I can only assume they talk behind my back. And I’m not mad about it. If I were in their shoes, and I’d been friends with and business partners with a band for a decade, I’d be talking about the new guy behind closed doors. They have a very successful business.”
“Of course.”
“Believe it or not, I can handle the professional stuff, but Kingston is larger than life. He’s not just good-looking, he literally takes my breath away. And when he touched me? Holy fucking shit. I almost combusted on the spot.”
“Wow. That’s saying a lot for my bestie who loves sex.”
I groaned. “Let’s not ever talk about that in front of the band, okay?”
She paused. “How come? Do they think you’re a virgin?”
“No, but I try to keep the past in the past.”
“You’re going to have to come clean at some point, Dev. Not only could somebody recognize you, but Larry is bound to open his mouth.”
“I told Kingston about Carter and me.”
“And?”
“He was fine.”
“So why wouldn’t he be fine with the rest?”
“I don’t know. I’m just not ready to find out.”
“I’m telling you, girlfriend—the past will come back and bite you in the ass. You need to get in front of it.”
“How do you get in front of the things I did with Larry?”
“By being honest?”
“I don’t want them to think less of me,” I whispered. “I want to establish myself within the organization before I tackle those types of things. Like we’ve been talking about—they don’t really need a reason to fire me. At the end of the European tour, I could be gone. Once we’ve signed new contracts that are open-ended, and maybe things are more serious with Kingston, then I’ll tell them everything.”
“I disagree, but it’s not my life.”
“I feel like I’m so close to all my dreams coming true.”
“You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”
I paused. “For Kingston? Yeah. Kinda. I don’t know.”
“I know. I can hear it in your voice.”
“Do you want to continue torturing me or would you rather hear about me modeling for Alexa Humboldt during Paris Fashion Week?”
“Wait, what?” She gasped. “Is that a possibility?”
“According to our manager it is.”
“Oh my god. Okay, I need dates because if that happens, I’m flying to Paris. I’ll use comp time, sick days, I don’t even care.”
“Somehow, I knew that’s what you were going to say.”
“Your new life is pretty damn exciting!”
“I know. That’s why I don’t want to lose it.”
“But that’s why you need to pre-empt anything bad that might happen.”
“I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and find out it’s all been nothing but a dream.”
“It’s real, girlfriend. With the potential for real disaster.”
“I know. I need to survive for three months. December, January, and February. Once I get past the tour, I’ll tell Kingston everything and see what he thinks I should do.”
“And if you’re not together by then?”
I sighed.
I couldn’t think about that.
I had to focus on the here and now.
Tomorrow was too far away.
23
Kingston
The next week was a flurry of activity, between conference calls with Sasha, meetings with the crew, and gearing up for hardcore rehearsals. It looked like Thanksgiving in New York was going to happen, so now we had to rehearse for that as well, and I hadn’t realized Devyn was still working her day job. She’d moved to part-time, but she had to log hours to keep her health insurance, and while we could have covered that, I understood her reluctance to change plans when she was locked into a short-term contract.
I’d known the contract she’d signed officially ended when we finished the European tour, but while it made sense, now I felt bad. That made us seem like we were still testing her, which wasn’t entirely accurate. Yes, we’d needed a way out for all of us should things not go well on tour, but we also didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t really one of us. There was a tiny part of me who almost wished she wasn’t such a good fit with the band. Then I could end the professional relationship and start openly dating her.
I didn’t have to say the words out loud to know how shitty it was to even think that way, but that’s how twisted up inside she had me. I’d never dealt with feelings like this before, so while I wanted to chalk them up to nothing but sex, deep down I was warring with the idea that this might be something more. I hated having to sneak around, not being able to touch her unless we were alone, and the idea that she felt she had one foot out the door. That didn’t work professionally, and I sure as hell didn’t like it on the personal front.
I’d never met anyone like her, and I’d never had this kind of musical bond with anyone I’d been involved with romantically.
That made Devyn perfect in my eyes.
I’d lived and breathed rock and roll since I was sixteen, and I’d never let societal norms dictate my life.
So why the hell was I doing it now?
Because it was better for her.
Because I had absolutely nothing to lose while she could lose everything.
And I had to remember that.
“It’s not like Devyn to be this late,” Z said, as we waited for her to start rehearsal. Since she was still working shifts at Black Kat Studios a few days a week, and we’d adjusted our rehearsal schedule to accommodate that, but it was after seven and she’d said she could be here by six-thirty. L.A. traffic could be unpredictable, but if that was the case, why hadn’t she called?
“You think she’s okay?” Z asked at twenty after seven.
“I’m going to call her,” I said, pulling out my phone just as the door opened and Devyn came in with Grim behind her. I hadn’t called him today, so I was surprised to see them together.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “There was an incident at the studio.”
“What kind of incident?” I asked, walking over to her. “You okay?” I glanced at Grim, who gave me a brief nod.
“I called Sasha and she called Grim.” She gave him a soft smile. “Thanks. You saved the day.”
“Anytime.” He nodded.
“Does anyone have anything to drink?” Devyn asked quietly.
“There’s bottled water and beer,” Z said apologetically.
“Water is fine.” She sank into a chair, and rubbed her temples as Z brought her a bottle of water.
“You sure you’re okay?” I asked, sitting across from her.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “It just caught me off-guard. I honestly never thought the press would not only show up at the studio but come inside and basically demand they be allowed to watch me work. I was with a client, a jazz musician who plays all the instruments on his albums except bass—” She managed a wry smile. “And they just burst into the studio. He’s in his seventies, and honestly it scared the crap out of both of us.”
“Oh, shit.” Z grimaced. “He okay?”
“Yeah.” She took a long drink of water. “But I think it freaked him out enough to call the owner of the studio, who wound up coming in. Then I had to reach out to Grim, and once everything had calmed down, they called me into a meeting. After we talked, they asked me to take an official leave of absence until after the European tour.”
“Oh, shit, Dev, I’m sorry.” Tommy shook his head.
“Oh, man.” Kellan made a face.
“What can we do?” Z asked before I had a chance to answer.
“I’m on leave without pay,” she said quietly. “I hate to ask, but I’m going to need some kind of advance against the money from the tour.”
“Of course,” I responded automatically. “How much? I’ll call our business manager right now.”
“Our house is paid off, but I pay the property taxes, which are almost a thousand dollars a month. Plus utilities, car insurance, gas, and groceries. I guess I’ll need about twenty grand to make sure I have enough to pay my share of everything through March.”
“Let’s call it twenty-five,” I said, hitting the speed dial button for the accountant who handled the band’s finances. He always took my calls unless he was in a meeting or on with someone else.
