Decker (Sidewinders: Generations Book 5), page 15
Now, everything was about to blow up in my face.
I was digging myself deeper and deeper into this hole, and it was a lovely catch twenty-two. If I didn’t tell Eden, there was a good chance John would blow everything up for me, which could cost me the woman I’d fallen in love with. If I did tell her, she might break things off anyway.
I was screwed no matter what.
23
Eden
It was a little disappointing to be back in the real world after spending so much quality time with Decker in Montana, but I had a lot of exciting things going on back in Vegas too. My parents had sent my birth certificate and social security card via courier, so I had everything I needed to start officially working for Renee’s new company. As soon as the guys left for practice once the All-Star break was over, Daisy and I headed over to Renee’s.
“We got some stuff done while you were gone,” Renee said once we were settled at the dining room table. “I’ve decided to name the company Phantom Publishing, since the Phantom series is the one that put me on the map. Margot has decided she’s willing to commit to two years, and we worked out her salary. That just leaves yours.” She smiled at me.
“I honestly have no idea what I’m worth,” I admitted. “I’m fairly bright in the grand scheme of things, and have a decent amount of common sense, but my real-world experience is limited to my university courses and a handful of internships.”
“Everything you’re going to be doing can be taught or will have its own learning curve,” Renee said. “You’re going to need to immerse yourself in the world of romance novels, though. Go online and join some groups on social media. Follow authors you like. Read reviews. I made a list of places for you to start.”
She handed me a piece of paper, and I skimmed it. I already followed some of my favorite authors, including Renee, and it would be easy to find more. I didn’t belong to many book-related groups, but that wouldn’t be hard to do either. I spent a lot of time on social media, so I wasn’t concerned about that part of it. “I can handle this,” I said confidently.
The salary we discussed was more than I’d anticipated, and I was both humbled by and grateful for her faith in me. “I’ll work hard,” I promised.
“I know you will.” She smiled. “Now, I ordered planners for you, Daisy, and Margot, as well as some fun stationery type stuff too. I love planners and pens and that kind of thing. I ordered a fuck ton for myself back when everything was on sale for Black Friday. Next year, once I’ve gotten you hooked on all this stuff, we’ll be prepared and spoil ourselves rotten.”
We talked and planned for the next several hours. I completely lost track of time, enjoying immersing myself in both the publishing world and Renee’s world. I loved her books. I’d read her biggest seller, a book called Petra and her Phantom, when I’d first met Daisy and had fallen in love with the series. From there, I’d devoured romance novels every second I could when I wasn’t studying or in class, and Daisy, Zoe, and I had spent many hours talking about our favorites.
Being able to combine my love of romance novels with my business degree was something I’d never imagined possible. My parents were starting to come around to the idea as well, even though they still weren’t thrilled about it.
As much as I didn’t want to jinx myself, I was in a good place in life. I had an exciting new career, a new hometown, and the most amazing boyfriend. Things were finally falling into place for me, and I couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
“Can you take me to the doctor tomorrow?” I asked Daisy on the drive home. “Decker has a morning skate, and then he needs to rest before the game. Dr. Sojan told me I could see him at his regular office.”
“Are you getting the boot off?” she asked excitedly.
“I hope so. He’s going to take Xrays, which will determine whether the bone healed correctly.”
“Yay!” Daisy grinned.
“I want to thank you,” I said after a moment. “You’ve been the best friend a girl could ask for. Both in college and now. Working for your mum is like a dream-come-true and being able to stay with you while I get settled here in Vegas is extremely generous. Are you sure Jean-Michel doesn’t mind?”
“He’s gone so much during hockey season he likes the fact that I’m not alone. Believe me, it’s fine.”
“I have to start contributing,” I said firmly. “I’d like to pay a few bills or at least buy groceries. It’s important to me.”
“If it’s important to you, we can sit down and figure it out. But I’m going to bet that you start spending more and more time over at Decker’s anyway.”
I flushed, embarrassed even though I didn’t know why. “I never wanted to be that kind of woman who went straight from her parents’ home to a man’s, but I guess it’s happening. Or at least it’s going in that direction.”
“Ah, being all independent and modern is overrated.” She made a face. “I didn’t want to either but look at me now. And I wouldn’t trade Jean-Michel for anything.”
“And it’s not like the house in Manchester was really my home,” I added thoughtfully. “I have to have Mrs. Bengston send my things, though. I only brought two suitcases, and I have a lot more stuff.”
“Will she pack up for you, or do you think you’ll go back one last time to make sure you have everything?”
“I don’t know. I hate to take the time to go back with so much going on here. And I need to get this boot off first. I’m so tired of wearing it.”
“Then you need a car,” Daisy said. “With what mom’s paying you, it shouldn’t be a problem to get a loan.”
“I have to figure out health insurance too,” I murmured. “There’s a lot to moving to a new country, even if you were born here.”
“Now we just have to get Zoe here.”
“If she would just marry Slava, it would be easy.”
“I think she’s scared,” Daisy said, pulling into the garage. “After what Phillip did, she’s got some kind of wedding-related PTSD. I’m no psychologist, but things were fine until Slava proposed. Then she went off the rails.”
“It does seem like quite the coincidence. Hopefully her therapist will help her figure out what’s going on. I’d hate for them to break up.”
“Honestly, I wish there had been someone in between Phillip and Slava,” Daisy said.
“Or a few someones.”
“Let’s call her.”
“Okay.”
We spent the next hour FaceTiming with Zoe and catching up on everything. She was keeping busy with school but sounded upbeat, so we didn’t talk about Slava too much. By the time we finished talking, Decker called.
“Hey, baby doll. You want me to come get you?”
“Absolutely,” I said.
“You want to sleep over?”
“Absolutely.”
He laughed. “Pack a bag. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and guess what?”
“What?”
“The floors are done.”
“It’s about bloody time.”
“The new appliances are being delivered on Monday, and I was approved for the loan for the house.”
“That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”
“I was thinking we should celebrate.”
“Oh? What did you have in mind?”
“Champagne, caviar, and restraints.”
“Hmm. That sounds lovely. But can we hold off on the latter until tomorrow when I’ll potentially get the boot off?”
“Is that tomorrow?”
“The appointment is tomorrow. Xrays will determine whether or not the boot comes off.”
“The restraints can wait as long as you need them to. I can always spank that luscious ass of yours.”
“Yes, you can.” I grinned. “All right, I’ll see you soon.”
“See you in a few.”
We disconnected, and I looked over at Daisy. “Well, you were right. He wants me to pack a bag and sleep over.”
“I’m excited. Are you excited?”
“Of course. I’m crazy about him.”
“I honestly didn’t think Decker would be the guy you fell for. I really thought if you were going to give anyone a chance, it would be Simon…” Daisy was thoughtful. “Decker has always been so anti-relationship.”
That was interesting to hear because from the moment we’d met he’d made his interest clear, and it had been about more than just sexual attraction. A sex-only thing would have been okay in the beginning because I’d desperately needed to get laid, but I was exponentially glad we hadn’t gone that route.
I was in love with him, and despite how quickly it had happened it felt right. Everything about Decker and me felt natural, easy. Organic.
“Simon’s lovely,” I said. “Handsome and sweet, but the moment I met Decker I couldn’t see anyone else. It was instant.”
“Sounds familiar,” Daisy said. “You remember when I met Jean-Michel.”
“Oh, yes. The Paris nightclub striptease that went viral.”
Daisy wrinkled her nose. “It sounds tawdry when you say it like that.”
“It was kind of tawdry. But all’s well that ends well, right?”
“Does a triple wedding sound like fun?” Daisy asked, giggling.
“I’m assuming you’re including Zoe in this ill-fated fantasy?”
She tossed a throw pillow at me. “Of course I’m including Zoe! But how fun would that be? Otherwise, we’ll have to take turns and time the weddings, honeymoons, all of it, in the off seasons.”
“I’m falling hard and fast for Decker, but I don’t think we’re wedding bound just yet.”
“And Slava and Zoe are on a break, but I think we can make this happen. Not this coming summer, but the following year.”
“Do you have any idea how much work it would be to coordinate?” I asked. “Not to mention how big and expensive.”
“Actually, it wouldn’t be that much bigger than separate weddings because Jean-Michel and Decker share the same teammates and inner circle.”
“I think you’ve lost your mind, missy.” I wagged a finger at her. “Jean-Michel needs to spank some sense into you.”
“Jean-Michel likes this plan,” he said, coming in from the garage with a huge grin on his face. “I have no idea what we’re talking about, but if it includes spanking, I’m all the way in.”
“That’s what he said,” Daisy and I said in unison before dissolving into giggles.
“Have you two been drinking?” Jean-Michel asked, joining us in our laughter.
“No.” I shook my head. “Just enjoying life. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy. Maybe not ever.”
And it was true.
I couldn’t ever remember a time I’d been as happy as I’d been the last few weeks. I’d never imagined my life could be perfect, but it was.
24
Decker
With Eden busy working, I had a little time alone after the morning skate, so I finally knuckled down and called Kristy when I got home. The more I thought about our situation, the more urgent it was for us to figure out what we were going to do going forward. It might be easier for Eden to swallow the “I’m married” pill if the divorce was officially underway, so that was going to be my proposal to Kristy.
“Hi!” She sounded happy but distracted, as usual. “What’s up?”
“I’ve had a thought. Or five.”
“Yeah? What have you come up with?”
“How much time do you think you need to get out from under your grandfather’s thumb? Do you have a realistic timeline?”
“Not yet. Why? What’s your timeline?”
“I was thinking I’d file for divorce. No one has to know. I mean, it’s not like your family suspects anything, so we could—”
“Decker, stop. Though I love you for stepping in and doing something not many other men would have done, this was never going to be forever. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too, and I’ve made a few decisions myself.”
“Like?”
“My grandfather is going to fire me and cut me off, but I think I can mitigate most of the damage by going to work for one of his competitors. I hate playing dirty like that, but it’s the only way I can think of to keep him from destroying my reputation professionally.”
“He really has no idea you’re gay? Still?”
“Keeping him in the dark is why we did this, isn’t it?”
“I just mean, you must have had girlfriends over the years… He’s never suspected?”
She snorted. “Please. The only question I get occasionally is when we’re having a baby.”
“I’m sorry, Kristy. I never imagined we’d be talking about divorce this soon… Falling in love kind of hit me out of nowhere.”
“It’s going to be okay,” she said quietly. “It’s not ideal, but you’ve sacrificed enough for me. What happened to me was never your fault, and you have to stop feeling guilty for Harper’s situation too.”
“I know.”
“I’m going to tell Anja my plan to start looking into working for a competitor, and then I’m going to put my house on the market.”
“No. Don’t sell your house,” I protested.
“I need to be fluid when the shit hits the fan. That way I can move, or leave town, or do whatever I need to do.”
“Look, it doesn’t have to be right away. Let’s wait until summer.”
“Can you wait until summer? Have you told her about me yet?”
“No.”
“Why not? The longer you wait, the more pissed off she’s going to be.”
“You don’t understand. It’s a whole thing with her. She has a history of dating married men.”
“And you thought hiding the fact that you’re legally, if not traditionally, married was the best idea? Jesus, Decker. If it was me, I would lose my shit.”
“Well, I tried a couple of times and literally all hell broke loose. It felt like maybe the universe was telling me the time wasn’t right.”
“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it. You have to tell her, Decker. Now. Immediately.”
“She’s at work, and I’ve got a game tonight. John is coming.”
“Ew. Judgy John.”
“Yeah. I don’t know why he’s suddenly interested in my hockey career, but he’s supposedly in town on business. I’m going to see him tonight.”
“And what are you going to tell her about not introducing her to your brother?”
“The truth. She already knows we’re not close, so after the game I’m going to explain everything. Including about you.”
“Oh, good. You can’t put this off another day.”
“I know.”
“And if you need to get me on the phone, I can be on standby.”
“You’re the best, Kris. Really. I appreciate you.”
“You appreciate me?” She laughed. “You literally saved my life. Not just once but twice. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“Can’t you just tell your grandfather it didn’t work out between us? That I’m the one who wants the divorce and pretend to be heartbroken and sad?”
“Sure. But he’ll immediately switch gears and try to get me to marry Gregory Payne. And we both know that’s not happening. Eventually, he’s going to figure out who I’m sleeping with and why.”
“Yeah.” I sighed, feeling like shit even though she was making this easy on me.
“The morality clause clearly states that no unmarried women can work for the company, so I’m going to have to either find someone else to marry me right away or leave the company anyway.”
“I can give you money—” I began.
“Stop it. I make a good living, and I’ve put money away for a rainy day.”
“You own thousand-dollar handbags and those shoes with the red bottoms set you back at least a grand per pair. I know you, Kris. You’re good with money but you to look a certain way and project a certain image.”
“I don’t need any more shoes or handbags for a while. I’m a grown woman, Decker, and it’s time for me to live my truth. No matter how hard it’s going to be initially.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m going to figure it out.”
“Just because it won’t be legal anymore, I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know that.” She paused. “I love you, Alan.”
God, she hadn’t used that name since we were kids, and it hit me right in the gut, bringing on a slew of memories.
I couldn’t go there, though.
I had to focus on Eden. She needed me too, even though it was in a different way.
“I love you too, Kristy.”
Instead of napping before the game, I laid there staring at the ceiling. I was wound up and anxious, trying to figure out how I was going to tell Eden the truth. Kristy’s presence, even on the phone, would be helpful. At least I hoped so. I’d dig out the prenuptial and the legal separation agreements, so she would see that yes, I was legally married, but Kristy and I were both protected. Neither of us had a claim on the other’s money, and in the event either of us was caught with a lover, the separation agreement showed we could do whatever we wanted.
I didn’t know if that would be enough for Eden.
Technically, I was married.
Technically, I’d lied to her. Or at the very least, kept a huge secret from her.
Technically, I was just like those other two jerks who’d hurt her.
Except I wasn’t.
I loved her.
I wanted to be with her and show her the man I was, the man I wanted to be going forward.
She had to understand what I’d saved Kristy from. It wasn’t just that she was a lesbian. Her grandfather wouldn’t just cut her out of the company, he’d cut her out of the family. She would have been on her own. Sure, I could have taken care of her, but this way she got to go to college on her family’s dime and now ran the company. Despite her difficult upbringing, the company meant a lot to her. And she was smart. Great at running it. Her brother was a dipshit who didn’t deserve to even work there, much less take her grandfather’s place as CEO one day.
