Wait for Always, page 9
“But, oh my God, look at that hottie with flowers at the entrance.”
“Who even says hottie anymore, Sasha?”
She laughed, but I followed her gaze to the front door. And damn it, there was the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen in my entire life, holding a bouquet of red roses.
“Hold down the fort,” I said as a wide smile hit my face.
“Your boyfriend?” she guessed.
“Just a friend.”
“My friends don’t bring me red roses, looking that hot,” she muttered under her breath.
I laughed and walked over to Ash. “You made it!”
“Sorry I missed the big opening ceremony,” he said, passing me the roses and pulling me in for a quick hug.
“It’s okay. It was boring anyway. Your parents were there.”
“Ah, fun times,” he said. “Was Mom … okay?”
“You know how she is. She asked why I wasn’t already married.”
He shook his head. “She’s very traditional.”
“That’s a word for it.” I bit my lip. “What kept you?”
“A meeting ran over. But I wanted to drop these off for you.”
“Thanks. Derek said we were going to go out tonight to celebrate. Marina, Daron, and Tye are in town. You coming?”
“Of course. I’ll see you tonight then,” he said with that same smile that always drew me in.
I tried to keep my heart in check. To remember that he didn’t see me that way. He never really had. He was just a friend who had been there for me when I moved home.
In fact, he was half the reason I’d pulled the trigger.
I’d been working for Elizabeth Cunningham for almost three years when I finally said fuck it and designed something else, something more me. Elizabeth herself stormed into my office and chewed me out for the “catastrophe” I had designed. We got into it, screaming at each other until she fired me. I’d scooped up all my designs and walked out of the office with my head held high.
Every single one of those dresses was already a best seller in my new shop, and I didn’t regret a damn thing. But after the adrenaline had run out, I’d been terrified, and I’d called Ash to see if he was serious about helping me find a store to open in Savannah. We’d worked it all out in the following months until my lease ran out and I moved home to open Ballentine.
But it had always been professional. Friends at best.
“Hey, I have something I want to talk to you about later,” he said, his smile turning soft at the edges.
“Oh?” I asked, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.
“Not now. Let’s talk about it when we go out, okay?”
“Sure. Everything okay?”
“Of course. I just … I need to talk to you.”
My heart pattered traitorously in my chest. “Okay, Ash. I’ll see you tonight.”
He beamed. “Tonight. Bye, Mia.”
Clutching the red roses, I watched him go and wondered what the hell he was going to tell me. It was stupid to hope that he’d finally realized his feelings for me. I shouldn’t even want that after what had happened in New York City. That probably wasn’t what it was about anyway.
That was just what I obsessed about all day on my first day of work.
Marina looped her arm with mine as we walked through City Market downtown. The sun was setting on the horizon. It felt like it was later and later each night. So late that for the Fourth, we’d waited until nearly ten to set off fireworks. But I loved it. I loved summer and all the possibilities it always seemed to herald.
Derek and Kasey had gone on to Lulu’s Chocolate Bar to stake a big enough table for the lot of us. Daron and Tye were trailing behind us, eating a caramel apple. They turned into children when they came back to Savannah during the summer. Ash was supposed to be meeting us at Lulu’s. Anticipation clawed up my throat.
“So, what do you think he’s going to say?” Marina asked excitedly.
I shrugged. “Could be anything.”
“Do you think he’s going to ask you out?”
“Why wouldn’t he have done that at the shop?”
Marina had ditched her baseball cap and jean shorts for one of my dresses. A bright purple number that popped against her deep tan. Her long, silky, dark hair fell like a sheet down her back. We could have been sisters instead of cousins today, and I liked it better that way.
“He wouldn’t want to ask you at your work!”
“Maybe,” I said uncertainly.
“I bet it’s that. I bet he wants to ask you out somewhere not related to work.”
“I’ll wait and see. Let’s not get my hopes up.” It was already too late. “Tell me about the guy you’re seeing.”
Marina sighed heavily. “Nolan’s a dick. Let’s not talk about him.”
I snorted. “Then, why are you seeing him if he’s a dick?”
Marina shot me a dirty look, and I burst out laughing.
She winked at me. “He’s just … a magnet.”
I sighed dreamily. I knew that feeling all too well. “Maybe it’ll work out.”
“Maybe,” Marina said, but she didn’t sound like she believed it.
We turned the corner on Congress and MLK Jr. Boulevard to find Ash Talmadge waiting in front of Lulu’s Chocolate Bar in shorts and a button-up. Marina waved at him.
“Ash!” she called.
He looked up at the sound of his name and smiled.
Marina gave him a big hug. “Good to see you.”
“You too, Marina.”
He shook hands with Daron and Tye. Daron shot me a look as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. That was the thing about Daron. He was so intuitive that nothing went over his head.
I pushed him inside. “We’ll follow you in. Derek and Kasey grabbed a table already.”
Marina grumbled, “Ugh. Do we have to hang out with her?”
“Unfortunately.”
No one liked Derek’s fiancée, Kasey. She was materialistic and talking to her was like a read on how much money everyone spent each week. I just didn’t care about it all and couldn’t figure out why Derek didn’t see it.
“Order me the chocolate chip cheesecake,” I told Marina.
“Will do.” She squeezed my hand and then followed the guys inside.
Anticipation tore through me. I’d been waiting all day for this moment. Ready for Ash to talk to me. I’d come up with a million scenarios, and though I’d downplayed it to Marina, I couldn’t deny that at least half of them were us riding off into the sunset together.
“So, you wanted to talk to me?” I asked.
“Right. Yeah. You don’t want to go inside and eat first?”
“Have you ever been told someone wants to talk to you and then walked away? It’s been on my mind all day,” I said with a laugh.
“Shit. Didn’t think about that. It’s not bad.”
“Well, that’s good,” I said with a laugh.
For all of the possible things that had gone through my mind when he said he wanted to talk to me, not a single one of them prepared me for what he said.
“I got into an MBA program.”
My mouth opened slightly, and confusion flittered across my face. “What? An MBA? What do you even need an MBA for?”
He shrugged. “I really don’t since I’m working for my dad. But then again … I’m working for my dad.”
“Right,” I said slowly. “Being your own boss is preferable, but you’re not leaving Talmadge Properties?”
“No, I’m not. UGA has a program in Atlanta, and we have an Atlanta office.. I’m going to take classes on nights and weekends while working for the business from there.”
My heart stopped. “Atlanta.”
“Yeah. I start in August.”
I was going to be sick. “You’re moving to Atlanta next month? Does Derek know?”
“I still need to tell him. Well, I was going to tell you all together, but you sort of jumped the gun.” He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “So, I’ll get my MBA and get to be out from under my dad.”
“That’s … wow. Congratulations,” I said, pushing myself into his arms.
He hugged me tight as the dreams I’d had burned to ash.
It was stupid. Again. So stupid. Why had I thought for a second that he was going to choose me? That didn’t even make sense. I’d thought I’d gotten over so much of that feeling. I hadn’t realized how ingrained it was in me until he gave me a tiny bit of hope and then shattered it like glass.
He didn’t want to be with me. He’d helped me open my boutique, and now, he was getting the hell out of town. After telling me that Savannah was home and reeling me back in, he was leaving his own home.
“I’m excited. It’ll be good to have a new opportunity like this.”
“For sure,” I said, pushing away my own feelings about the matter.
Ash and I were ancient history, and I needed to get that through my head. I just needed to be happy for my friend. So, I brought out a smile—a real one.
“Let’s go tell Derek. Though he might hate you for leaving him behind.”
Ash laughed, relief hitting his features when he saw that I wasn’t mad. “Probably. Y’all will have to visit.”
“Obviously,” I told him.
I took his arm and drew him inside, ready to see my brother’s reaction to Ash leaving. And knowing this was the nail in the coffin of our relationship that I’d tried to rise out of all afternoon.
13
Savannah
December 25, 2017
My dress was Christmas green, my lipstick was Christmas red, and everything was all right at our annual Christmas party. Dad had been having it before he and Kathy got married, and he’d had it every year since too. We all went to church for Christmas Eve Mass, Dad threw one giant party for all of his friends the night of Christmas. The only year we’d missed it was when Dad’s work had taken us all to Paris for the holiday, when I was in college.
This year was like every other year. Except I had a date.
“I got you more champagne,” Smith said with a smile solely for me.
He was handsome, just the way I liked them. He’d been a Holy Cross boy in high school, a few years older than me. He knew Derek well enough to fear him, but he’d grown out of that boyish fear, and he was here at my side now. His father worked in the pharmaceutical business, and his mom was a state senator after years as an attorney. Smith was following in both their footsteps with an interest in politics as he worked for his dad’s company.
Dad liked him. Which made me feel things that I couldn’t articulate. Kathy just squeezed my hand as they hit it off like best friends and planned golf trips together. That was what I was supposed to want. It wasn’t supposed to make me suspicious of my choices.
Derek appeared in a tuxedo then and nodded his head to the side. I knew precisely what that meant. Every year since we’d been kids, we’d escape the stupid adult party to hang out in the library.
I grabbed Smith’s hand. “Come on.”
“What?” he asked, distracted. “You go ahead. I’m speaking with your father.”
I opened my mouth to remind him that he was dating me and not my dad, but the words died on my lips. “Fine. We’ll be in the library if you want to join.”
His eyes softened at those words. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
I downed my champagne on the way and left it on a table to be scooped up. Derek would have the good stuff in the library anyway. I stepped inside and found Kasey lounging on a chaise next to one of her girlfriends. They were both smoking pot. The room reeked of it. All those poor books.
Derek handed me the bottle of scotch he’d filched from Dad’s supply. “Where’s Smith?”
“Talking to Dad,” I grumbled before taking a drink straight from the bottle.
“Lovely.”
“Tell me about it.”
The door creaked open again, and I turned, hopeful that Smith had actually followed me. But the person who walked through made my heart skip in a completely different way.
“Ash!” I said in surprise.
He winked at me and shut the door carefully behind him. He was in a navy suit and tie with his dark peacoat still around his shoulders from the chill outside. Then, he held up two bottles of Dom that were old enough to make my head spin. “Sorry I’m late. Had to sneak these past my dad.”
“What is with y’all and stealing from your parents? Don’t you know you’re adults?” Kasey sniped.
Derek shot her a look. “It’s part of the fun, Kasey. It’s how we’ve always done it.”
“You turned thirty this year, Derek,” she said, hopping off the chaise and walking toward Ash. “You should act like it.”
Derek snorted. “Whatever. That’s overrated.”
Kasey snagged the second bottle from Ash and kissed him on the cheek. “Good to see you.”
“Kasey,” he said politely.
Ash had been the best man at their wedding. But I wasn’t sure he liked Kasey any more than I did. His smile even faltered when he looked at her but only for a minute. He must have already been pretty drunk if he was this happy. I hadn’t seen him like this in forever. Well, I hadn’t seen much of him since he’d moved to Atlanta. Which had ended up being a good thing for my crush. Now, I was with Smith and Garrett before him. Working my way through every available hot Southern gentleman in the vicinity, was what Derek said. Whatever.
“Anyway,” Derek said, brushing aside the fight with Kasey, like he always did, “you’re lucky you brought a consolation present. You didn’t make it to Mass last night.”
Ash grinned like a fool. “Yeah, I got caught up.”
“I know you were home, fucker,” Derek said, popping the cork on the first bottle and taking a long sip. He passed it to me. “Damn, that’s the shit.”
I took my own sip. Smooth. “Where were you anyway?”
“I thought we could have a toast,” Ash said. “Should I get some glasses?”
“Don’t bother,” Derek said. He was definitely drunk already. He collapsed back into a chair and reached for the scotch again. “There’re enough bottles here that we can do it like this.”
He offered Ash another bottle of whiskey, which he took with a shrug.
Then, there was a knock on the door. We all looked around. Who would knock? The parents knew about our Christmas Day library festivities, but they didn’t bother us.
Ash cracked the door open, hiding the booze as if it would stop the smell of pot drifting down the hallway. But it was Smith who smiled sheepishly.
“Hey,” he said. “You’re Ash Talmadge.”
Ash arched an eyebrow at him. “Yeah?”
“He’s with me,” I said quickly.
Ash glanced over at me and then back to him. He held the door open a little wider. “All right.”
“I’m Smith,” he said, offering Ash his hand.
They shook, and for a second, I thought he was going to start chatting up Ash about business too. The man didn’t seem to care about much else. But he walked over to me and put an arm around my waist. Everyone watched us as if we were a spectacle.
“So, a toast?” I said quickly.
“Right,” Ash said, holding his bottle up.
“What are we toasting to?” Derek asked.
“Well, I have some news. Lila and I got back together.”
I nearly dropped my bottle of champagne. I barely caught it by the neck, and Smith gave me a disapproving look. My jaw was already on the floor anyway.
Derek was drunk, but not stupid. His jaw dropped and then he jumped to his feet. “How did this happen?”
“We met at the fountain last night. She missed me. We’re going to try it again.”
Derek looked like he wanted to give him hell. And, fuck, I wanted it to be Derek to tell him that he was an idiot. Because what in the actual hell was he talking about? Not only had Lila cheated on him and left him a few years ago, but he’d also gotten into some huge fight at the church last year with her new boyfriend. It had been horribly embarrassing. I couldn’t see why he’d ever want to see her again, let alone get back together with her.
But Derek didn’t do or say any of that. He just laughed and held his bottle up to clink against Ash’s. “Congrats, man. I know that’s what you’ve wanted all year.”
Ash grinned. “Thanks, man.”
“To you and Lila.”
Everyone raised their bottles and drank deeply from them. Smith held up his champagne and then headed over to Ash to give him proper congratulations. As if he had any fucking idea what all of this meant.
But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand here and act like it was a good thing. This wasn’t even about me and Ash. This was about him going willingly to his own death. I wouldn’t be party to that.
I made some excuse. The words left my mouth, but I had no recollection of what I’d said. Then, I walked through the double doors that led from the library to the backyard beyond. It was too cold for anyone to be out here, and I hadn’t grabbed a jacket, but I didn’t care. Not in that moment. Not when my anger propelled me forward.
My dress was long-sleeved and knee-length, but I’d skipped tights, knowing I’d stay inside all evening. I was shivering almost immediately as I leaned against the railing that led down to the covered pool. But I wasn’t ready to go back in. The library had been a sanctuary all those years. Now, Smith was waiting for me inside, and Ash had dropped a tragedy on our door. One that he was happy about. I just didn’t understand. I didn’t understand him at all. What hold did Lila Greer have over him?
I’d only been outside a few minutes when I heard footsteps approaching. I assumed it was Smith and turned to face him, prepared to tell him that we should go home. But it wasn’t Smith.
It was Ash.
“Hey,” he said, that smile faltering.
“Hey.”
“You’re freezing.” He slid out of his peacoat and wrapped it around my shoulders. “What are you doing out here?”
“I don’t know,” I lied. “Did Derek send you after me?”
“No. I think he’s trying to figure out your new boyfriend.”
