Wait for Always, page 3
Derek shot him a look. “They’re eighteen.”
“I’m twenty,” Ash reminded him. “And anyway, what were you doing at eighteen, dipshit?”
“That’s what I said!” Marina said.
“I’m not drinking,” I said quickly because I knew Derek’s real objection was for me and not Marina. He loved her too, but he was way overly protective of me. “I have interviews in the morning.”
“Yes, you are!” Marina countered.
“Rina, shut up,” I hissed.
“Come on, Derek,” Ash said with a grin. “You wanted to meet up with that other girl anyway.”
“What girl?” I asked at the same time Derek shrugged and said, “Fine.”
Marina whooped, and I clapped a hand over her mouth. She giggled as we all looked down the hall. Only Derek was legally old enough to drink. The last thing we wanted was to alert the parentals.
Derek sighed heavily, pocketed his keys, and we all headed downstairs. Marina stood on her tiptoes and slung an arm over his shoulders, leaving me to stand beside Ash.
I glanced his way, and he smiled when he noticed me noticing him.
I flushed again. “Is this a bad idea?”
“Who cares? We’re only young once,” he said, holding the door open for me.
We followed Derek down the street. I prayed as I flashed a fake ID to the bouncer. I’d only ever used it at crappy places in Savannah. I’d never tested it elsewhere. Just what I needed was to get arrested the night after I won my title. I’d make the newspapers in the worst way. But the guy just smirked at my tits and then waved us all through.
“That was easier than I’d thought,” Ash said.
Marina gestured to my V-cut pink dress. “That helps.”
Ash’s eyes dipped down and then quickly back up.
Derek just shoved Marina. “Keep moving.”
Marina laughed, grabbed my hand, and tugged me toward the bar. She ordered Sex on the Beach for the both of us and immediately started flirting with a guy at the bar. Derek was speaking to another one of the pageant girls with skin the color of onyx, tightly coiled hair, and cheekbones so sharp that they could cut. I didn’t remember her name, just that she was from the Atlanta area.
Ash stood next to him, looking bored by her friend, who was clearly trying to come on to him. I drank in his appearance. All tall, dark, and handsome with piercing blue eyes. He had on short-cut khaki shorts, a white button-up, rolled to his elbows, and boat shoes. The only boy I’d ever really wanted, and I was too scared to do a damn thing about it. I could conquer a stage in heels, but not tell the boy I liked that I liked him.
I turned my back on him and downed the drink quickly before ordering a second one. So much for not drinking, but, damn, I needed a little liquid courage. Marina was right. Tonight was the night.
I was on my third Sex on the Beach when the alcohol effects began to hit me. My legs were wobbly, and it was suddenly hot. I touched Marina’s arm and told her I was going to get some air. Then, I pushed through the crowd and out onto the back tiki-decorated patio. June in Georgia was always sweltering with intense humidity, but at least the patio had the river breeze. I tugged my long hair off of my sticky neck and pulled it up into a high ponytail.
“You doing okay?”
I turned, leaning back against the railing, to find that Ash had followed me outside. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“You were drinking those pretty fast.” He gestured to the empty Sex on the Beach in my hand.
“Maybe too fast,” I admitted.
“I thought you weren’t drinking.”
“What are you, my brother now?” I teased.
He moved to the railing next to me and leaned out toward the river. “I am definitely not.”
My body warmed at the way he’d said that. I set my cup down on the railing and mirrored his position. Our arms brushed against each other. Fireworks burst in my stomach. Just a year earlier, I never would have imagined we’d be standing this close together. I’d felt like a little kid while he was off at college. Now, here we were.
I turned to appreciate the sharp outline of his jaw and that beautiful face. He smiled and faced me.
“What?” he asked.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded.
His eyes dipped down to my lips again. They lingered a space longer than they had at the ball before returning to my eyes. “Mia, you were amazing today.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He leaned forward, brushing a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’m glad I was there to see it.”
His hand was still on the side of my face, tilting my head up to meet his eyes. I listed toward him. My entire life, I’d had this desperate, unrequited love pulsing through me. I’d always known that I’d never have Ash Talmadge. Two years older and my brother’s best friend. It would never happen. And right now, I was realizing that maybe I’d been wrong all along.
“Ash, I … I want this,” I whispered.
“This?” he asked as if he didn’t know.
“You.”
He should have pulled away. Remembered that Derek was his best friend. That he’d probably get punched for this if Derek ever found out.
Instead, he drew me closer.
“Fuck, Mia.”
And then I couldn’t wait any longer. Screw gender norms. I had waited long enough for him.
I stood on my tiptoes and pushed my lips against his. He startled for a split second. A horrible second where I thought he’d pull away. But then he relaxed, drawing an arm around my middle and tugging me tight into him. A squeak left my lips as I was pressed firmly against his chest. His head angled slightly, and then he opened my mouth with the brush of his tongue.
Another gasp escaped me as I let him in. Time moved in slow motion as my heart skyrocketed, my stomach catapulted, and everything went fuzzy at the edges.
I was kissing Ash Talmadge.
I was kissing Ash Talmadge!
“Oh,” I gasped as he pulled slightly back. Just far enough for our noses to brush. “Wow.”
He laughed softly. “Wow?”
“You … are a good kisser.”
He laughed, pushing his hands up to cup my face, and kissed me again. Ash took control in that kiss and ruined me for all other kisses. Because there was no way that anything could compare to this here with him. I could live in an eternity of just this moment.
When he released me this time, my eyes fluttered open, and I stared up into his baby blues, entranced. But his face had fallen. He sighed and put more distance between us.
“We probably shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Why?”
“You’re a little drunk.” I opened my mouth to deny it, but he continued, “And Derek would kill me.”
“So? I can handle Derek.”
I’d wanted this for so long. So, so long. This couldn’t be the end. I needed more. I needed everything. I wanted to beg for his love, but I knew that wouldn’t work. I’d seen time and time again before my mom had left that begging for anyone to want you was a ticking time bomb. My dad had still left for Kathy. Our life had still imploded. I’d never stoop so low.
“It’s just … not the right time.”
And I hated to admit how long I held on to those words. That we’d find our right time eventually. That something or someone wouldn’t always be in our way. I was still waiting.
4
Savannah
Present
Sasha knocked once on my open office door. “Amelia?”
I looked up from the recent donation email I’d received from the Foster Foundation, a foster charity that my boutique worked with. I’d made promises all those years ago as Miss Georgia and meant all of them. The first thing I did when I started Ballentine was reach back out to the charity and figure out a donation schedule. I’d been active in the community ever since.
“Hey, Sasha, you should see this email,” I said with a bright smile.
She walked around the desk and read over my shoulder. “Oh my God, Amelia! You’re being recognized as Philanthropist of the Year for Foster Foundation, and they’re going to hold a ball in your honor.”
I laughed. “I can’t believe it. I knew we’d been helping, but I didn’t know it was this much.”
“You’re incredible.”
“I’ll have to design a new dress.”
“Hell yes!”
I was still beaming when I remembered Sasha must have been here for a reason. “Was there a problem? How is the new cashier?”
Sasha handled a lot of the day-to-day stuff for Ballentine. She was the best manager that I’d ever had. She was definitely in need of a promotion and raise. Especially if everything worked out with a new boutique in Charleston.
“New cashier is great. She already had retail experience. But that’s not why I’m here.”
My stomach sank. Oh. Oh, I knew what was coming. “He’s here again?”
Sasha nodded. “Like clockwork.”
Every day for the last ten days, Ash had shown up at the boutique. Most days, he asked me to lunch and then left when I turned him down. Wednesday, he’d left lemon bars from Back in the Day Bakery. The next Monday, he’d brought me a giant sweet tea from a local coffee shop. I was half-worried that he’d keep bringing me all of my favorite things until I said yes to lunch. Not that I planned to after the shit that had gone down last year.
“Will you tell him that I’m not free for lunch?”
Sasha shot me a look. “You are free for lunch.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t need to know that.”
“Or you could just talk to him.”
I sighed. “I have talked to him, and since when are you giving relationship advice?”
“Since my boss isn’t seeing sense.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Is that so?”
Sasha sank into her hip and flipped her rainbow hair over her shoulder. “For one, have you seen that man? He is gorgeous. Two, he has shown up every single day to ask you out. That’s so romantic.”
“Or creepy.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’d be creepy if you didn’t know him and he wasn’t a friend and you weren’t totally into him.”
“I’m not,” I lied.
“You’re not a good liar, Amelia. Everyone with eyes can see you’re into him. You used to go to lunch with him for years. Even when he was with someone else. Now that you’re both single, you’re not going to give him the time of day? What did he do to you?”
It wasn’t so much what he’d done as what he hadn’t done. Years of what he hadn’t done. Until it had all hit a fever pitch a year earlier. I didn’t know how to come back from it. I’d loved him for so long, and I’d finally given up. How much more could I handle?
When I didn’t respond, Sasha sighed. “Fine. But at least talk to him. I’m not telling him no again.”
Then, she strode out.
Well, she was right. I didn’t pay her to deal with my relationship issues. This was on me. I’d have to respond to the email from Foster Foundation afterward.
Despite myself, I pulled up the camera on my phone and checked my makeup, reapplying a bit of red lipstick and flattening my dark hair. I spritzed some Chanel No. 5 on my wrists and neck, internally yelled at myself for caring at all, and then forced myself to walk out of my office.
Ash was at the cash register, charming Sasha with a smile. He was in a charcoal suit today with a pink button-up and navy tie. That pink shirt was probably my favorite, and he knew it. Damn.
As soon as I came out of the back, his eyes shot over to me. They crawled down my figure and then back to my eyes. He straightened with a smile. “Hey.”
I swallowed. “Hi.”
The boutique was busy, as it was every lunch break. The last thing I wanted was a crowd of gossipmongers listening in on this conversation. I gestured for Ash to follow me out onto Broughton Street.
“You look lovely,” he told me once outside.
“Thank you. Why are you here?”
“I wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch.”
I blew out a harsh breath and ran a hand back through my hair. “Are you going to keep coming back every day?”
“Yes.”
“You realize it’s harassment. My dad and brother are lawyers.”
Ash shot me a smile. “I’m aware of their professions, yes. They work for me regularly.” Then, his smile faltered. “If you really feel like I’m harassing you, then I’ll stop. I just miss you, Mia.”
I closed my eyes against those words. “Ash …”
“I’ve missed you every day since we fought and I fucked up. Please,” he said softly. “Just … please.”
Something cracked in me at that word. And when I found those baby blues again, I knew that I was a goner. That this was all I’d wanted for so long. And though I’d said I was done waiting, here I was, giving in all over again.
“One more chance,” I finally said.
His smile immediately blossomed, revealing his dimples. “Lunch?”
“I’m serious, Ash.”
“I’m taking you seriously, Mia.”
“Then, yes. Let’s go to lunch.”
“You won’t regret this.”
I shook my head with a small laugh. “I’d better not. Let me grab my stuff.”
I hurried back inside, throwing my phone into my purse. Sasha sent me a bright smile and a thumbs-up. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t keep the smile from my lips. God, why did Ash always do this to me?
Ash had somehow managed to snag the parking spot directly in front of my shop. He’d upgraded recently to a black Range Rover and pulled the passenger door open for me like the Southern gentleman he was. I slid in across the black leather and buckled up. He jogged around to the driver’s side, and after he was seated, he pulled away from the boutique.
“Clary’s?” he asked.
I nodded. “Of course.”
Clary’s was my favorite restaurant in all of Savannah. They did all-day breakfast and had to-die-for biscuits and gravy. The biscuits were so fluffy, as if you were biting into a cloud, and the white gravy had sausage and was heavily peppered, as it should be.
Despite the crowd, we were seated immediately.
“You had a reservation?” I asked in surprise.
He shot me a look once we took our seats. “Well, I might have had one on the books for every day … just in case.”
My heart was made of candle wax, and he applied the flame. Everything melted at his heat.
“Oh,” I whispered, hoping I held back my emotions well enough, but I never knew with Ash. He knew me too well.
We ordered food and made small talk while we waited for it to arrive. For those few minutes, everything felt normal. Like how it used to be when I’d first returned from New York City and Ash and I met up all the time.
“So,” he began slowly after our regular topics dried up, “what happened with Mark?”
I winced and shoved my food away. “We broke up.”
“You broke up with him.”
“I did.” I sighed and reached for my sweet tea. “What do you want to know? Mark was a narcissistic jerk who gaslit me. He told me that no one else wanted me and treated me like crap. I don’t know why it took me so long to see what he was doing. But I finally broke free.”
Ash’s grip on his knife was murderous. “Jesus Christ, Amelia.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you all right? Do I need to go beat the shit out of him?”
I snorted. “No. You do not need to do that. You’re not my white knight. The princess saved herself in this one.”
He smiled. “I like that.”
“Plus, if he saw you, he’d probably lose his shit.”
“Saw that firsthand.”
“Right,” I muttered.
“Which I’m sorry about,” he said.
I waved my hand. “It’s over with. I don’t care what he thinks anymore.”
“Then, why wouldn’t you see me?” he said, reaching across the table for my hand. “I know I fucked up, and that pushed you into his arms.”
I slowly extracted my hand from his. “Don’t flatter yourself. I made my own bad choices.”
“Well, if I hadn’t acted that way—”
“Please,” I said, holding up a hand, “let’s not rehash the past.”
The night had been bad enough. I thought about it for weeks afterward. I’d thought about it all those times that I realized that Mark was not a better alternative. I was tired of thinking about it. Tired of agonizing over if me and Ash could have had a better outcome.
“All right,” he said softly. “Well, I’ve missed you. I’m glad you’re single.”
I laughed softly. “Me too. I feel free for the first time in a long time.”
I waited for him to ask me out again, as he had last week when he showed up at the boutique. To push for more after I agreed to lunch. I’d been anticipating it. Trying to figure out how to say no to him again, only to realize that I wouldn’t. If he asked me out again, I’d say yes.
I didn’t know if that made me weak. If it did, then Ash Talmadge made me weak. I wasn’t going to settle for less from him this time. I’d meant it when I said it was our last chance.
But Ash didn’t ask me out. He just grabbed the bill and paid before I could reach for it. A knowing smirk on his too-pretty lips.
Then, he held his hand out and asked, “Leopold’s?”
A man after my heart. Ice cream was always the answer.
5
Savannah
Present
“I’ll take two scoops of the chocolate chip, and she’ll have scoops of butter pecan and pistachio, both in a cone,” Ash ordered for the both of us before I could even open my mouth.
“Coming right up.”
“I can order for myself,” I told him.
He smirked. “But you always get the same thing. You have since we were kids.”
“Not true. I went through a strawberry phase.”
“That was one summer,” he reminded me. “And I think it was just to prove Derek wrong.”
