Wait for Always, page 15
“What are you doing here? It’s a weekday.”
“Yeah. I thought I’d drive down and see y’all.”
I gave him a skeptical look. “Really?”
“Yeah. Do you want to go out with us?”
Ash walked across the room and pulled me into a hug. He dropped his lips down onto mine. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Oh God, are you already drunk?”
Ash laughed. “We might have had a few.”
Derek made a gagging noise. “Can you not while you’re around me?”
“Fuck off,” I muttered. “I already told you that we’re dating.”
“Yeah, but you’re my sister.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re such a hypocrite. You and Marley are all over each other around me.”
“And?”
“At least he didn’t threaten to punch me,” Ash interjected.
“I’d kick his ass if he laid a finger on you,” I snapped. “Don’t come in here with your bullshit misogyny, Derek Ballentine. You don’t get to have an opinion about my love life.”
“He’s my best friend,” Derek said as if that explained it all.
“So, he’s good enough for you to hang out with, but not me to date?”
“Yeah,” Derek said with a laugh. “That’s kind of the point.”
Ash pulled me back from smacking my brother. “He’s joking, Mia. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s happy for us. He’s just trying to rile you up.”
“And it worked,” Derek said with a laugh. “Come on. Where should we go out?”
“I have work in the morning,” I groaned.
“Call out.”
“I own the business!”
“All the more reason,” Derek said with a smirk.
I shook my head. “Fine. Let’s go. I need to change.”
I headed upstairs and found the stash of clothes that I’d left in Ash’s closet. I pulled on a blue dress, applied some lipstick, and was ready to come downstairs when Ash appeared in the bathroom.
“Hey,” I said with a smile.
“Sorry about Derek. I was going to text you.”
“I don’t really care. I miss him being here all the time.”
“So do I,” Ash agreed. “But we both know why he’s here.”
I arched an eyebrow. Were we finally going to have this conversation?
When I said nothing, Ash kept his eyes focused on me and said, “Because Lila’s wedding is this weekend.”
“Right.”
“He’s trying to figure out where my mental state is.”
“And where is it?” I asked softly.
He pulled me into him. “Right here with you.”
“You sure?”
“More than sure.” He pressed a kiss to my lips. “I didn’t forget what you said. That I’d never see you again. I wouldn’t jeopardize us.”
“And what if I hadn’t said that?” I forced out.
His face softened at the words. “I’m here with you. Just you.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure,” he confirmed. “I don’t need threats to stay with you. This is where I want to be.”
The tension left my shoulders at those words. I pressed my lips to his, and his hands skimmed over my waist before circling around to my ass and pulling me into him. I would have given in to him right then if my brother wasn’t waiting for us downstairs.
We broke away with a gasp. Pupils blasted out and breathing rough. He smirked down at me.
“Later,” he teased.
“You’d better.”
The wedding was still a few days away. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still concerned, but I felt better than I ever had about it happening. This weekend, Lila would get married, and Ash Talmadge would still be mine.
22
Savannah
Present
The first Saturday morning in May dawned bright and beautiful. Ash was missing from bed, but that wasn’t unusual. He was a morning person. Always up with the dawn, working out in the gym he had in the basement. He lifted weights and ran a few miles before I was even out of bed most days.
But today was different.
Today was Lila’s wedding.
Nerves crept in at his absence. He wouldn’t leave me here alone and drive into Athens, right?
I felt bad, even considering it, but it was hard not to think of all the other idiotic things Ash had done in the name of love. I wanted to say that the hold she had on him had snapped in the last year. That he was finally, officially over her. As much as he claimed that he was. On the other hand … obsession was rarely logical.
“Ash?” I called as I threw on a silk robe and tiptoed out of the room.
I took the stairs in a hurry and glanced around futilely. The kitchen was dark. The living room looked untouched from last night. Even the glasses we’d left out were still there.
“Ash?” My voice was more frantic now.
I pulled open the basement door and rushed downstairs. The room was as empty as the first floor. No one was here.
Panic set in. I looked in the garage and saw his car was gone.
“Oh God,” I gasped. “Oh God, oh God, oh my fucking God.”
I raced upstairs, taking them two at a time in my haste. I nearly tripped on the top step. I threw my robe off and tossed it on the bed before scrambling into the first thing I saw—a pair of old cheerleading shorts and a tank top. I grabbed my purse and phone, which had zero missed calls or messages, and bolted downstairs.
I just made it to the last step, breathless and mildly terrified, when the front door opened. Ash walked inside, carrying a brown cardboard box of pastries and a holder with two coffees in it.
“Morning. You’re up early,” he said with a smile.
I could barely catch my breath at the sight of him. I closed the distance and threw my arms around him. “You’re here.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“I … I woke up, and you were gone.”
“I got coffee,” he offered helpfully as I retreated.
He set the box of pastries from my favorite pastry shop, Back in the Day Bakery, and coffee on the kitchen counter.
“I see that.” I threw my purse and phone down next to the coffee and flopped into a seat. My heart rate was slowly coming back down as the adrenaline left my body.
“You okay?” he asked, pressing a kiss to my lips before taking his own seat.
“We should go away today.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Go where?”
“I don’t know. Anywhere,” I said quickly. “Let’s take the yacht out.”
His confusion disappeared as he realized what I was doing. He sighed and looked down at his coffee, steam billowing up from the lid. “I’m fine, Mia.”
“I just want to do something,” I said, reaching for his hand.
“I know what you’re doing. We can stay here. You don’t have to worry.”
“I’m not worried.”
He arched an eyebrow at me. “Your frantic run down the stairs and look of abject terror on your face were for no reason then, huh?”
I winced and looked down. “No. But when I woke up and you were gone …”
“You thought I’d left…that I was going to the wedding.”
“I’m sorry. You said you weren’t going to go.”
“No,” he said, tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry. You’ve done nothing but expect behavior I’ve shown you time and time again. I always went back to her. I made you wary of that. If I could go back and change it, I would. I’d fix how I treated you through so much of this. But I’m not leaving. I’m not repeating those mistakes.”
“It’s just … hard to see that as true after everything.”
“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “I won’t lie and say I didn’t think about it. Not because I still want to be with her. I didn’t want them to end up together. Which I know how that sounds.”
“Considering what happened at your wedding, it’s reasonable, Ash.”
“Yeah, but you were right last year. If I loved her like I said I did, then I should want her to be happy. And I do. I just don’t want her to be happy with him.”
I laughed. “That seems like a long way from the place you were in last year.”
He took my hand in his. “So much of that is because of you.”
“Nah. I was there all along. You finally came to your senses.”
“Maybe I did.”
“So, can we go away?” I asked gently.
“We can. But we’re not running. Today is for us.”
“Okay,” I agreed as he brought his lips to mine.
We ate the pastries and coffee. All the adrenaline had left my body, and in its place was relief. I hadn’t realized how much fear I’d been holding, even as I told everyone else that it would be fine. Inside, I’d been slowly waiting for the end.
But this wasn’t the end.
This was just the beginning.
Ash and I put on our bathing suits, packed a change of clothes, and headed out to the Savannah Yacht Club. While his boat was nowhere near as ostentatious as Nolan Holden’s, it was still plenty impressive. He must have made some calls while we were getting ready because staff and crew were already waiting for us when we arrived. They took our bags, offered us drinks, and let us know that we’d be leaving within the hour.
We spent the day on the water, far from our phones and the reality of what our friends were doing that day. Maybe Ash didn’t need to escape, but he seemed happier for the opportunity. It was just us in the sun and heated pool and even a very chilly drop into the Atlantic.
The sun was setting on the horizon as the yacht headed back into the dock. I snuggled into Ash’s side in the hot tub as we watched the reds, pinks, and yellows burst across the ocean.
“This was a perfect day,” he told me.
“It was.”
“Thank you for suggesting it.”
“Well, I had ulterior motives.”
He laughed. “True. It did help me forget what the day was.”
“Just made me realize that I want this to be my life.”
His eyes slid to mine. “Oh yeah?”
I flushed as I realized how the words could be construed. “I just mean … I want to be with you.”
“That’s not what you said,” he teased. He wrapped an arm around my middle and pulled me into his lap. My legs straddled his hips. “You said you want this to be your life.”
“You know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you.”
“Yes, but this already is your life, my Mia.”
I leaned forward against him, letting our wet skin meet. “I suppose it is, but I might be moving to Charleston. Things will be more complicated.”
“That’s not going to change this.”
“How do you know?”
He pulled me tighter against him, brushing his lips to mine. “Because I love you.”
My heart stopped beating. Everything froze in place. I couldn’t move or breathe or think. There was nothing but those words ringing in my ears.
“You … love me?”
“I thought it was obvious.” His hand slid up into my wet hair. “Of course I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whispered.
And the words felt truer than they ever had. All those years of wanting him slipped away. They hadn’t been real. This was real. This right here.
“Tell me again.”
I grinned. “I love you, Ash Talmadge.”
His lips crashed down on mine, capturing those words forever. Our kissing turned frantic and desperate. As if finally admitting our feelings changed everything. Made us want to express it in every way we could. Through hands and mouths and bodies grinding against each other in the water.
“Ash,” I gasped.
His cock was long and hard as I rocked my hips back and forth against it. We had bathing suits between us. So little clothing left that it would be so easy to have him inside of me. His hands were on my ass, pushing me hard down against him. As if the heat between us could boil the water, and still, it wouldn’t be hot enough.
“I need you, Mia.”
“Take me,” I begged.
“I wanted this that first night in the hot tub.”
“Show me what you wanted.”
He lifted me out of the water as if I weighed nothing. My feet touched the seat we’d been sitting on, and he turned me to face away from him. Then, he bent me forward at the waist so that my ass was in the air.
I looked back at him over my shoulder and smirked.
“Mine,” he growled.
“All yours.”
Then, he tugged off my wet bottoms, letting them splash in the water behind us. His trunks followed them. He slipped his fingers inside of me experimentally, finding me already wet and hot for him. He moved in and out until I moaned with need.
“Ash, please, fuck.”
“What would you like, Mia?” he asked. His cock slid against my ass while his fingers still drew me closer to climax.
“Fuck me,” I pleaded. “I need you inside of me.”
“I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on the pill,” I urged.
He was still working me into a frenzy while he was so calm about it all. “What if something happens?”
I looked back into his eyes, hazy and desperate. If he’d asked me that sort of question a few months ago, I would have told him to go to hell. But here with Ash now, having his children didn’t sound like a bad thing. In fact, it sounded like something I wanted very much. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But if it happened, I wouldn’t regret it. Far from it.
It was that certainty that made me tell him, “I wouldn’t mind if it happened with you.”
His fingers stilled in surprise at those words. Then, his smile returned, big and beautiful. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He slipped his fingers out of me, and then a second later, they were replaced by his cock. I gasped as he thrust forward deep inside of me. All thoughts of our earlier conversation evaporated. There was just the here and now. With him in love with me.
As I came apart, we both cried out into the night.
A new ending. A new beginning. And the entire world left before us.
23
Savannah
September 18, 2021
Mark pushed a vodka tonic with lime across the bar to me. I shot him a smile even though I was more of a whiskey drinker. He sometimes said that girls didn’t actually like whiskey, that they just drank it to impress guys. Which I thought was ridiculous, but everyone else laughed when he said it. So, I probably shouldn’t have taken it too seriously.
Or so I told myself as I sipped on the vodka, cringing at the sharp taste. It wasn’t even a quality vodka.
Mark’s friends were at the bar, surrounding us. None of them had girlfriends. They were all eternal bachelors. That was what they said at least. I called them all fuck bois since they picked up a different girl every night we went out drinking. It was the least offensive thing about them. If boys will be boys was a group of people, it was these guys.
“Let’s go to another bar. This one doesn’t have enough options,” John said.
“Yeah. We should just head to Wet Willie’s,” another guy said.
Two of the other guys chimed in at the same time.
“Sure,” Mark said.
He raised his hand for the tab. He was footing the entire bill tonight. Sometimes, I wondered if that was why everyone came out with him all the time. He threw around daddy’s money like it was an endless waterfall.
“You ready to go, babe?”
I stared down at my full drink. I wasn’t going to finish this in the next couple of minutes. I hadn’t even wanted it in the first place.
“Uh, I’ll leave this here,” I said, setting it back on the bar.
Mark wrinkled his nose. “Just chug it. Don’t waste my money.”
I stared at the full glass and then back at him. “I’ll get the next round then.”
That made him even angrier. “You’re not paying for a drink.”
I laughed, trying to defuse the tension. “I used to buy drinks for myself all the time in New York. The drinks are cheaper here.”
But Mark didn’t like that. I should have just let it go. He had gotten it into his head that no one was allowed to do anything without his permission. He was the life of the party. He bought the drinks. He was the entire entertainment. I wasn’t allowed to order a drink, one that I actually liked, without him blowing a fuse.
“Well, this isn’t New York,” he said like I didn’t realize that. “Now, finish the drink.”
It wasn’t worth the fight. I opened my throat and poured the vodka down it. At least I didn’t have to taste it. Though I was already tipsy. I could hold my alcohol pretty well, but we’d been out for a few hours already.
My phone buzzed against my hip, and I fished it out of my purse as we headed toward the door.
Where are y’all? We’re going to end at Lulu’s. You could meet us.
My stomach flipped with anxiety at the text from Derek. He’d come in town to celebrate Ash’s birthday. It wasn’t until Tuesday, but since he lived in Atlanta, it was harder to do things during the week now. He’d asked me to come out with them, but I’d said no.
I hadn’t seen or talked to Ash since that day when he found out about Lila and Cole’s engagement. I’d decided to move on. I just wanted to forget about how much time I’d wasted with him.
With Mark, it was better. Easier. There wasn’t a lifetime of baggage associated with him. We’d met on a dating app, which I’d thought was a horrible idea, but he was the first person who messaged me, and I got off of the thing as soon as we met. We hit it off so well over that first glass of wine. He hadn’t pushed for more that day. Just texted and called me every single day until I was drunk on him.
But I’d told him all about what had happened with Ash. The only thing I regretted about our relationship. Now, he hated Ash and went out of his way to bring him up and make me feel guilty for having anything to do with him. Even though … I had nothing to do with him.
