The Real Me, page 8
I kissed her cheek, hovering by her ear and said, “Ask me, Vanessa. Ask me for anything.”
I kissed down her neck to her shoulder and I heard her whimper again, but then I felt her push against me and I knew our time was up, for now. I let her push me back as she cleared her throat. But as she spoke there was no mistaking the shakiness in it. She was affected just as much as I was.
“Stop, Trevor. I need to… I need to get back downstairs.”
I moved back slightly but didn’t let her go just yet.
“Don’t run from me, Vanessa.”
She looked at me.
“I’m not running. I have things to do. I want things to go well for Jax and Lacie. I shouldn’t be here with you.”
I let the anger show on my face.
“Why shouldn’t you be here with me? Do you not want to be?”
She shook her head.
“No. It’s not that. I enjoyed the kiss. I enjoy what you bring out in me, but Trevor it scares the hell out of me. I don’t understand it. Okay? Can we just leave it at that for now?”
Vanessa’s answer shocked me. It was honest. Straightforward and damn if I didn’t want to press her against the wall and kiss her again. I nodded and pulled away from her, but before I could go too far, her hands fisted in my shirt and she pulled me back.
Before I knew what was happening her lips were on mine and she was kissing me. My mouth was lapping at hers as if I was a man thirsty and hungry for something I’d never had. Then that quick it was over.
She smirked at me and said, “I don’t ask for what I want. I take it.”
Then she released me as she moved down the hall saying, “Ball four, Slugger. You got on base.”
Fuck me six ways till Sunday this woman was messing with my head. What did she mean by that and which base was I on? Because I know she’d probably say first base, forgetting that she told me I stole a base, but I sure as hell want to be sliding home. Shit, now she’s got me going with the baseball talk.
I stood in the hallway a few minutes to talk my raging erection down and once I was able to get control of that I followed her downstairs to help silently beside her to clean some things up. I went around picking up the empty plates and things to place in the trash as I watched Vanessa move about the room as well.
I caught Jax smirking at me and if we were anywhere else, I’d flip him the finger but instead I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. Vanessa was turning the crock-pots down and cleaning up the food trays. She had a smaller tray that she was placing some cheese, crackers and meats on while she wrapped up the rest of it. The crock pot that had the pierogies in was next to where I was and I couldn’t help but grab a plate and dig in. I was hungry. I realized that once Jax and Lacie got to the house, I was by his side and never really ate. I filled my plate with the pierogies, some meatballs and cheese slices. I took my plate out on the patio, feeling guilty for not helping Vanessa, but I needed to eat something.
I saw a familiar face outside. I believe it was the doctor that was at the nursing home when Gail had passed away. I had just taken a bite of Vanessa’s pierogi and it was like heaven.
“The girl can cook can’t she?”
The man had moved closer to me and I remember him being familiar with Vanessa and it made me angry.
I nodded at him and stuck my hand out, “I’m Trevor. I work with Jax.”
He took my hand and said, “Ben. I work with Vanessa. She’s a helluva cook. She makes dinners or I should say she used to make dinners for Lacie and me before Lacie and Jax got together.”
I didn’t like how familiar he seemed with Vanessa and I don’t know why it bothered me so much.
“So you guys are all close then?”
He chuckled, “We’re friends, if that’s what you mean.”
I wondered how good of friends they were then stopped myself. Was I jealous? I don’t do jealousy. What is this woman doing to me? Before I could say anything Jax walked out with three beers. He handed one to Ben and one to me.
Jax said, “I need a drink. Drink with me.”
Ben grinned, “You must have read my mind.”
I tipped my beer at the two men and took a large sip of the beer. I hoped that would help wash down the jealousy brewing its way out.
Jax stood next to me and said, “I think things went well.”
Ben and I nodded. Ben spoke first as I was still eating.
“Gail would be proud Jax. You did a great job putting this all together and your eulogy was touching.”
I nodded in agreement, but God help me I couldn’t stop eating the food. It was so good. Jax looked at me.
“Vanessa did a helluva job with the food. Seeing everyone here celebrating my mom is very humbling.”
I looked up at my friend.
“She was a special lady. She was proud of you Jax. This, today you should be proud of. You did good man.”
Jax put a hand on my shoulder and patted it.
“She was proud of you too. You were like a son to her.”
I nodded. “Yeah, but I didn’t always listen to her. I was a damn fool.”
Ben looked between us and said, “On that note, I’m going to go see if Vanessa and Lacie need anything. I’ll let you two talk.”
Ben walked away and Jax came and sat down across from me.
“I didn’t always listen to her either Trev. But she still loved me. You made a mistake, but can you really call it that when you have Jayden?”
I took a sip of my beer and said, “No. Jayden is the best thing that ever happened to me, but Sherry she was a mistake. Your mom knew it too. I was just too stubborn to see it.” Jax nodded.
“So what’s the story with you and Vanessa?”
I shrugged.
“I don’t know yet. She’s very guarded. I want to get to know her. I can’t believe I just said that.”
Jax laughed.
“Women. They certainly do something to us don’t they?”
I grinned at Jax.
“Yeah, that they do.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes until I said, “How did you know you wanted more with Lacie? I mean, you and I were the same. We had women, but never got serious. How did you know that Lacie was, more?”
Jax smiled.
“The first time I met her I knew she was the end of me. There was something about her. She made me laugh, she never left my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”
I nodded at him.
Jax looked at me hard, “She’s not an easy woman Trevor. She will fight you on a relationship because she doesn’t understand them.”
I nodded at him, knowing he was talking about Vanessa now and not his wife.
Jax watched me as I turned to look in his glass doors at Vanessa.
“You really like her don’t you?”
I nodded.
“She infuriates me. She intrigues me. She makes me crazy when she smiles. She’s more beautiful than any woman I’ve ever known.”
I turned my attention back to Jax.
“What’s happening to me?”
He laughed then took a sip of his beer.
“Welcome to the world of a good woman. She will confuse you, try your patience and make you crazier than you ever thought possible. Enjoy the ride.”
I shook my head.
“You said she doesn’t do well with kids before, she did well with Daniel today.”
Jax looked beyond me and through the doors to his wife, Vanessa and Ben in the kitchen cleaning up.
“She’s good with kids. That’s not what I meant. I said kids are hard for her. That’s all I can give you man. You need to hear it from her.”
His eyes cut to mine.
“Just be sure of what you want before you pursue this. She’s been let down in life enough and I don’t know how the woman survived all her life with no one to really care about her. Lacie said, she doesn’t talk much about her life in foster care, but she has told her a few things and she definitely never knew love. Once she did have it and it was ripped away from her before she could truly understand it.”
Jax sat watching them in the kitchen not saying anymore.
“She told me about her grandmom as she calls her and that she was in foster homes. She told me that she was in some that were okay and some that weren’t, but she didn’t elaborate. She seems to only tell me little truths. She doesn’t tell me fully what happened. It’s hard to get her to open up.”
Jax nodded then looked back at me.
“She is good friends with those two in there. My guess is that they don’t even know all of it. I know Lacie only knows bits and pieces. It’s whatever Vanessa chooses to share. I think that girl keeps her emotions and her past locked up tighter than a bank vault.”
I turned to look inside again and saw the three laughing with each other. Ben put his arm around Vanessa and I felt the jealousy burn inside of me. I felt my jaw tense and Jax didn’t miss it.
“You know they’re just friends right?”
I nodded, “So he said, but they seem awfully familiar.”
Jax laughed. “They’ve known each other a long time. If they were going to date or something was between them, it would have happened long before now.”
I shook my head, “Maybe. But maybe seeing someone else wants her makes him want her more.”
Jax laughed and said, “You’re in deep aren’t you?”
I looked at him and said, “I think so. Damn it.”
Jax and I sat back and talked about business for a little. I could sense that he needed something to take his mind off the day. Lacie came out and sat down with a glass of wine in her hand.
“Where’s Vanessa?” I asked her.
Lacie smiled, “She’s saying goodbye to Ben.”
I felt myself raging inside.
“I’m going to grab some more food.”
I went into the kitchen and found it empty. I heard Vanessa’s voice though coming from the entryway.
“Thanks Ben. I’ll call you later.”
I heard the door open then close and knew she’d be coming. I spooned some meatballs onto my plate and some more pierogies before she entered the kitchen.
“Still hungry?” she asked as she moved beside me.
My mind quit working and my body took over. I put my plate on the island and reached out, pulling her to me.
“I’m starving.”
I didn’t hold back, and I took her lips with mine. I needed to brand her as mine. I wanted her to know she belonged to me. This was me being a jealous prick of a caveman trying to make her bend to my will. I knew in my head it was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself. I crushed her to me and she stiffened at first but then she surprised me by throwing her arms around my neck and drawing me down to her. I heard her whimper and sigh into the moment and I growled into her mouth. I wanted her and there was no denying that at this moment. I just wanted to know who she wanted, me or Ben.
Chapter 11
Vanessa
I don’t know what happened. One minute I was talking to Lacie and Ben. I said goodbye to Ben, went into the kitchen to find Trevor getting more food. Next thing you know he’s kissing me like a house on fire. I’m not complaining, because damn can he kiss, but holy hell we’re in Jax and Lacie’s kitchen.
I pulled out of the kiss as I heard Trevor growl.
“Trevor, we need to stop.”
He pulled back to look in my eyes.
“Say it again.”
I looked at him confused.
“Say my name again Vanessa. You never say my name.”
I looked in his eyes and smiled.
“Trevor.”
The husky sound falling from my lips letting him know too much. It let him know how much I truly wanted him and that was dangerous to me.
Trevor pulled me to him and kissed my lips softly. I felt my body sink into his. But I caught myself again.
“Trevor we can’t do this. We’re in Lacie’s kitchen.”
He smiled down at me.
“One question for you before we go outside with Jax and Lacie.”
I nodded at him.
“Are you in this thing with me Lacie? I mean really in it with ME. I don’t share. I want to be clear.”
I looked at him confused for a moment.
“I don’t understand, but of course. I don’t share either. One man, one woman. I’m not a relationship expert but I sure know that one rule.”
Trevor looked deep into my eyes and must have been satisfied with my answer because he kissed me quickly then turned taking my hand in his pulling me behind him out to the patio where Lacie and Jax waited.
“Well now, aren’t you too just adorable together?”
Lacie grinned at us. Jax laughed shaking his head.
“Relax, Lace, they were kissing, no need to pick out their china pattern yet.”
I went to sit in my chair and almost missed it when I heard Jax’s words.
“I would think not. We barely know one another. Geez, don’t put the cart before the horse pal.”
Jax held his hands up in defense. We sat for a few minutes laughing and talking about Gail. We agreed that she would have been happy with today’s events and even happier seeing the four of us sitting here talking about her.
Daniel’s cry came through the monitor and Lacie moved to check on him. Trevor stood as well.
“I can check him if you’d like.”
Lacie smiled, “I got him. You guys sit and relax. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Jax grinned at Trevor, “Hey Trev while you’re up, I think your lady could use a drink and so could I. Do you mind?”
Lacie looked at her husband. “Jackson Grey Hewitt! They are our guests. Get up off your damn ass and get it yourself.”
Trevor was laughing. “Aww, Lace. It’s good. This is like my home anyway.”
He turned to look at me, saying, “Beer, sweetheart?” I felt my face flush and nodded. He winked then moved away.
Once they were gone. Jax looked at me with questions in his eyes.
“Shoot, Coach. I see you have a question to ask, or else your constipated.”
Jax started laughing at me.
“Damn woman you just don’t stop do you. Is there anything you say that doesn’t have snark or bite to it?”
I crossed my arms over my chest, “Why? Don’t you like me how I am?”
Jax held his hands up laughing at me.
“Of course I do. You know that. In fact, I rather enjoy your company. It’s refreshing. I don’t ever pretend to be someone I’m not with you and Trevor.”
I smiled at him.
“Good, so shoot. I think you got time to sneak in a hit. May only get a single or double out of your question but give it a try.”
Jax shook his head at my baseball talk and asked, “You and Trevor?”
I rolled my eyes.
“Wow, that was like a strike dude. Really? Yes, Trevor and me. We’re going to see what happens.”
Jax leaned in.
“He’s a good guy Vanessa. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”
I nodded.
“He’s been hurt. A woman messed him up pretty good, but he rose above it and he’s made a damn good life for himself. There will be stumbling blocks. Or as you may say, bases loaded with an easy out up to bat. Don’t let it happen. Stick it out and trust in one another. Look at Lacie and I.”
Jax leaned back in his chair and I heard Trevor approaching. I wonder what could be a stumbling block for us. I mean, other than myself being so closed off, what could Trevor possibly have to hide? I sat wondering about that for the rest of the afternoon and was starting to feel myself getting tired from running my brain as well as all the running my body had done the last two days. I think going back to work tomorrow was going to be a piece of cake for me compared to all this.
Trevor must have seen how tired I was. He leaned closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders.
“You ready to get going?”
I nodded at him. We were having a nice time sitting and talking. Trevor was even playing with Daniel who Lacie brought back out with her when she checked on him. It was fun watching them together, but it also stabbed me through the heart.
We said our goodbyes. The kitchen was cleaned up and all the food was put away. Trevor opened the car door for me and closed me inside. I watched him walk around the front of the car to slide into the driver’s seat. Once he shut us both inside he started the car and I wondered if he was coming in tonight, or dropping me at the door.
Did I want him to come in? Yes, I did. Don’t judge me. The man is hot and his kiss can turn me into a four-alarm fire, panty melting, freaking working myself into an orgasm all in one. My rules. I never let them come to my house. Although, that one’s already been broken. He’s been to my house. Besides, this isn’t a one-night stand. We’re wanting a relationship, right? I chuckled and I couldn’t stop it.
Trevor asked, “Vanessa? What’s so funny?”
I turned to look at him as he drove. Of course, me being me I said, “Us. This. I mean I’m sitting over here wondering if you’re coming in tonight or dropping me at the door.”
He didn’t turn to look at me, but rather pulled over to the side of the road. Once he was pulled over and had his four-ways flashing, he gave me his full attention.
“Do you want me to come in, sweetheart?”
I met his stare which was panty melting in itself. I mean, those eyes and those lips. I know what those lips can do on my mouth and neck, I can imagine and damn I wish I didn’t have to imagine what they would do to other parts of me as well.
“Vanessa?”
I grinned at him.
“What do you think? Hell yeah I want you to come in. You kissing me is like an inferno. I am all twisted up inside and you set my body on fire. But I’m not easy, and if this was one night, it would be one thing, but you say you want more. So no, I don’t think you should come in.”
Trevor just stared at me.
“Say something will you.”
I looked at him feeling like I just had diarrhea of the mouth. What made me say these things? He still didn’t say anything. I leaned in closer, growing angrier.
